negative friend

[tristan22]

My best friend is a great guy, but over the last year he has developed into a delusional, hateful, and negative person. I have been friends with him for over a decade and i normally talk to him everyday. During this last year, my temper, attitude towards my loved ones, and patience has gotten really bad.

Lately, i havn't been talking to him much and i must say my overall mental health is a lot better. I'm not pointing fingers, but i think that being around his constant negative attitude was really taking a toll on my mental health.

What are your thoughts on being around negative individuals? Do they really effect others with their attitude?

 

[Jariel]

I know where you're coming from. I have a very negative friend too and an ex- of mine was exactly the same. In my experience, yes they do drag you down and can affect you very negatively. You can try your best to help them, but it's usually dismissed and that gets extremely frustrating.

Sometimes you have to be selfish and distance yourself from these people for your own good. And if you tried to help, you have nothing to feel guilty about.

 

[Black_Italian]

Man it will probably be one of the hardest things you will ever do but you have to cut off contact with all your negative friends. This guy is self destructive and he will take everyone down with them.

I got rid of all my negative friends and i am alot happier now. It changed my life.

Ninja out

 

[Life-Trainee]

I used to be a negative friend like that! Good thing my friends put up with me all this time. I've a completely different outlook on life now compared to a couple of years ago. You can't really help him much. The change has to come from within. That's the way it was for me. My pivotal point was realizing how much of a negative influence my parents were on me.

 

[the_afc]

It seems to me that your friend's attitude affects yours. And it affects it with the negative side rather than the positive one(I'm sure he has positive side, otherwise why you are friend to this guy for so long?) . The key here is to get only the good things from someone and throw the other away! Not just with this one but with everyone you meet. This is a way to improve yourself too.

If you want to stay friend with him, don't let him affect you so much. And don't approve his attitude when it's negative. Try to affect him instead.
If you don't mind get rid of him, do it, but keep in mind that people always have two sides. Nobody is perfect. Always look for the good side and enrich yours from it. Notice the dark one and avoid it ( and help them to reject it,if you are willing to and if you can) !

I don't ask you to be physiologist, but the behavior of the people around us, affect us too. If you are strong enough to say "no thanks" when you don't like it, I need to say no more! But if you are weak and let others to change you as they won’t, that's a problem you have to think about! And since this forum is about DJs, a good one is the one that leads, not follow, is the one that affects not affected!

the_afc

 

[flexion_]

If you want to be a good skier than hang around good skiers. If you want to be happy then hang around happy people. If you want to be rich then hang around rich people.

This does work. That thing about your parents always saying don't hang around with the "bad crowd" has some merit.

The thing about a friend is that is different than an ex is that you can go back if the situation changes. I'd walk away from your negative friend and if in the future things change you can recommence.

 

[Pantera_man]

Sounds like some latent narcissistic tendencies may have surfaced in your friend.

Narcissists are people who shove their true self deep within the confines of their subconscious and make up an entirely new identity from scratch. They are parasites- other people are only used to achieve their ends. They are social climbers usually, and instead of ever actualizing their fantasies, they try to bring others down to their level through negative energy and negative reinforcement. Stay away from them and also, don't hold anything back- anything is fair game with a narcissist- f*ck with them ten times as hard as they f*ck with you and they are too cowardly to do anything.

If you think you may have a narcissist in your life, read this- it will help you identify them so you can eliminate them:

http://www.operationdoubles.com/narc/

 

[DonJuanMonk]

Poisoners (Gossipers who talk trash about you) and Walking Wounded (Bitter, Negative people) want you to join them. You know the saying "Misery loves company"

 

[h2o]

I have a best friend who is quite negative, so I know where you're coming from.

I mean, he's still my friend and has been for a while, so I won't ditch him, I just couldn't. I still talk to him every day, and stuff too.

Instead, I would say, don't spend as much time hanging out with him as much. Find a new circle of friends if you can...that's what I'm trying to do. And instead of letting him bring you down, see him as motivation.

For example, find motivation that you aren't the way he is. Just be thankful that you're positive...and if he really gets on your nerves then just hang out with some other guys for a while.

There's a quote from Robert Greene's 48 Laws of Power...though I don't prescribe to all his perspectives/thoughts, this one definitely makes sense, and goes with what some of the other guys have said above:

"NEVER associate with those who share your defects - they will reinforce everything that holds you back" - Robert Greene

 

[chuchu]

See like you havent seen it before, listen like you havent heard anything, and talk like you haven't said a word. "Stirl up the water to catch the fish" but think sharp and do what you believe in.

Think of conflict as oppotunity.

Reminded me of the 48 laws also, eventhough I dont agree 100% of the book.

 

[aftershock]

I tend to make my friends happier rather than them make me miserable. But thats just me.

NO-ONE could EVER make me negative. Ah...I love being me.