NEG-HITS screwed me over!!

es_mer8

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From my experience (which is kind of short but still growing well), neg hits are never a good idea. I've seen friends use them and deliver them in the best way possible. However, they all failed and wound up wrecking their potential. When I first read about neg hits, I realized they were a waste of time to do.

****y and Funny works because you're funny. Trust me, women want a man that has fun and makes people laugh. To me, C+F is a way to help loosen the tensions. I believe when people use C+F, its got to be more like 25% ****y and 75% Funny. Most girls like someone who can make them laugh but honestly, funny guys are a dime a dozen. That is where the ****y comes in. As men, we were told to be humble, to be gentlemen. ****y goes against all this and creates a new, masculine aura around you. She still may not be that interested in you but I'd say its much better that she thinks of you as an ass instead of a mangina.

Because if you are an ass, you at least still have the image of being masculine. If you are a mangina, you will never be with that woman. Period. Try all the C+F you want but you're still going to be that "woman with a penis." Trust me, Ive tried talking to girls that I talked to in my AFC days with the DJ attitude and got nowhere. A lot of girls just acted confused. Some girls liked it but still thought of me as that mangina that beats off 6-8 times a day and can't talk to women normally.

Neghits though are almost foolproof ways of making yourself out to be an ass. A lot of guys say that women love *******s but the reason behind that is that these jerks treat women like they were human beings, they really don't care if a girl likes them or not when they ask her out, and they don't empty their bank accounts for girls or write poetry or get someone to make smoke messages to a girl in the sky.
 

Oscar Wilde

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Interesting post, lots of diff opinions.

I am of the opinion that C&F and neg hits are the business. That said, I have a good sense of humour, can keep a straight face for 4 hours if needed, and have good timing. (Wordsmithing is a culture thing here in Ireland - great advantage).

On the other hand, if you are not a quick witted comic with a good sense of timing, well then you're going to believe that "C&F don't work", and that "neghits don't work". There's not much I can say that will convince you otherwise.

Personally, if it was delivered well, then I think the girl isn't worth bothering about - she took it the wrong way and displayed a lack of humour. Don't worry about it. Make an apology, but apologise for offending her, but not for what you said. And tell her to lighten up.

Osc.
 

assasin

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In Britain the term is "cheeky", basically it's about pushing the against social boundaries without crashing through them like an out of control beast.

Remember that the social boundaries draw for a first time meeting are not as broad as the boundaries drawn for a day to day aquaintance.

Finally, women like being gently teased, they don't like being slapped down.
 

spanky

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Personally, Duke, I do not think you gave a neg-hit by definition but I believe that it would be somewhat similar in effectiveness.

I believe what you said showed some good sense of humor and you followed it up with a smile. The girl showed just how vulnerable she really is by taking the comment so serious. Basically, I liked what you used in this particular situation and I believe it still could have worked in the long run.


I would have admitted to her that I was kidding after seeing that she was actually offended instead of being turned on by you- the effect that you aim for when using a neg-hit, right? So if it backfires, you don't want to be stuck with looking like an a**hole, therefore, you don't actually apologize since it would probably make you look like you did something wrong but admit you was just kidding.

I would have just told her I was just kidding and if she still remained pissed, I would have gotten pissed at her for not finding the humor in the situation and showed my disappointment by walking away shaking my head.


Teenage girls are especially sensistive when it comes to their appearance for reasons stated above. This does not mean that you cannot ever use a tactic you used above but it simply means that you must follow through correctly after using it.

Lets get away from the idea that you need immediate results with every girl you are trying to get close to. Some
you can work on over time with a plan to "knock em off" in the long run provided that you have ones that you are able to knock off in the short run.
It is okay to let some incubate for a while after leaving a lasting impression at each meeting.


I believe you left a lasting impression with the girl.

I would stay away from AIM!
 
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JustDoItAlways

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NegHits are not supposed to be insults. They are not supposed to be so obvious and so direct. They shouldn't sound like you deliberately set out to say them.

The best NegHits are the ones that can be taken two different ways, one good, one bad. They should almost sound like you accidently said it, almost like you mis-spoke. They should sound like you are not intimidated by her, almost like a natural little jab you would give to your friends.

The HB should be thinking:

- "Did he really mean it that way?";
- "Is he saying that I look good tonight, meaning that I didn't look as good before?";
- "It isn't obvious that this was an insult so I can't blow up over this but maybe he really doesn't think I'm so hot unlike all my other drooling suitors";

As well, NegHits are meant for chicks:

- who have their b1tch shields up; or
- who think they are really hot and are acting a little snooty because of it; or for
- during the initial meets just to establish that your're not totally blown away by her, that she is at your level, that you are used to dealing with a hot girl like her.

When you have rapport with the girl already, when she is not misbehaving, when you have already established a connection, NegHits are not really needed and are sometimes counter-productive.

But then, I still like to bust down on my girls and keep them on their toes. I'll continue to use NegHit-like statements just to show that I'm still in charge of the relationship.

Just don't make them so obvious, hurtful, negative and insult-like.

NegHits are meant to get a girl to drop her b1tch shield not put one back up.

You should have just said "You know (pause), you look REALLY good tonight."

Think about why this kind of NegHit will get you just the kind of result that you are looking for.
 

Peace and Quiet

If you currently have too many women chasing you, calling you, harassing you, knocking on your door at 2 o'clock in the morning... then I have the simple solution for you.

Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

squirrels

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You know how when you're hanging around with your buddies, you're constantly ragging on each other for stuff, but you know it's all in fun? That's the way I think of "neg hit."

There's a fine line between teasing and insulting, just like there's a fine line between "****y" and "arrogant".

Fortunately, what you did was A-OK. You may not have a shot with this girl any more, but through your experience, you learned what it's like to be too far on the OTHER end of the spectrum.Since you've experienced both extremes, find the middle-ground.

Strength without control is no better than weakness. ;)
 

ryan killa

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I agree with Igor as well, this did come off more as an insult. I have used neg-hits often, and gotten excellent results. Just remember to put that huge grin on your face:)
 

Duke

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*Update and more details*

About AIM: What TesuqueRed said about convenience IS true and the way he put it made me laugh. :D
But when I said that "everyone is doing it," I'm not saying that I'm doing it because of peer pressure. It's just that besides real life meetings, there isn't any other way to communicate with so many people at the same time.

Tonight at around 12:00, I IM'd her and said "I'm going to call you in a minute. If anyone is sleeping, pick up the phone really quick, ok?"

Then she says "Don't call! My dad is sleeping and has to get up at 4:00." And I mean, that's understandable, my dad does the same thing.

But then... "And don't you ever call me!"

I say, "Well, seems I'm right. Your looks cover up your hideous personality."

She says "Haha, you think I'm that way to everybody? I'm only like that to scary/annoying people."

I remained silent for 3 or 4 minutes...

Then she chimes in, "Why did you want to call anyway?"
Oh, so now little miss "DONT TALK TO ME" wonders why I'd want to talk to her *****y ass.

I say, "By calling you, I was hoping to show you that I am, in fact, NOT annoying or scary. But it seems that a playful joke is enough for you to form an entire opinion of someone."

Now rather than digest what I just said to her, she reacts instinctually and says, "Dont ever talk to me! You have pissed me off soo much! Don't be surprised if I don't respond to you."

Well, now methinks that she still believes that the world revolves around her. OHHHHH NO! YOU MEAN I DON'T GET TO TALK TO YOU ANYMORE, YOU COLD, HUMORLESS ULTRABYTCH!? POOR ME!

I didn't say any of that, but that's what ran through my head. Instead, I blocked her immediately.

I'm telling ya, chicks like that make me thankful for the good girls out there--the ones with a sense of HUMOR who aren't afraid to laugh at themselves and the world.

Guys, maybe I totally fudged this up, but as much as I try to look back and ask myself, "What could I have done differently?" I wouldn't have done anything differently. If it had been a different chick, I think we'd be making babies right now.

One of the core virtues that this site has taught me is to always be true to myself... to never mold myself to anyone's expectations. This virtue carried me through this mess. At any point, I probably could have said, "Ohmigosh, I'm so sorry! What was I thinking?!" But instead I told her to lighten up and not take herself so seriously. Of course, she just got angrier, but I'm happy that I didn't fold just because she's hot.
 
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