"Needs her space"

[FutureDJ]

What’s it mean when a girl “needs her space”? We started going out in highschool and have been going out for almost three years. Last year we went to different colleges and rarely saw each other during the school year. Now it’s the summer where we are in the same city again, but we usually only see each other once a week and talk to each other twice a week. For a three year relationship, it seems like this isn’t very often. I suggest going out more, but she “needs her space”. She works some, but she’s not extremely busy or anything. What is your take on what is going on?

 

[8ball]

Oh man,

That's ******** for something like: 'You do absolutely nothing for me'.

You should stop calling her and drop off the face of the earth for a while.

 

[SamePendo]

What do you do when a woman says she wants more space?

You get her a wider kitchen!

 

[Oscar Wilde]

lol@SamePendo...

Original poster: you're done. Start looking for other women. High school romances never transition the college phase anyway.

 

[trajhenkhet]

She is seeing if there is anything out there better than you. Don't mean to be harsh. I always hope for the best in a situation like this but common sense tells me there is someone on the side she is seeing. Similiar thing happend to me. Your best bet is to knock her down to dating status and date other ladies immediately on your schedule.

 

[Quick]

It means that she's not much into you any more. People change a lot during college, and it looks like she moved past you.

As far as "need space", check out this thread, the responses, and how it ended up. You can learn from them all.

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=31627

 

[legolas]

You can take it to mean literally, and that would mean that you're crowding her too much and need to pull back a little, or a lot. Or you could take it as a message saying that "I'm breaking up with you" Women love to use these cliches because they work in getting them what they want which is to get rid of the guy for some time AND not make him mad which "I'm breaking up with you" probably would.

I would say give her a lot of space and occupy yours with other women. After a while if nothing new comes in for her, she'll ask you back in which case you'll have the upper hand of choice.

 

[FutureDJ]

Three years into a relationship, should I be content with going out once a week, or am I right in wanting to see her more? I would think that three years into a healthy relationship we should be seeing each other more than once a week. Am I right about this? The thing that makes it hard for me to believe she doesn’t want in the relationship anymore is that she still seems to have fun when we go out and we do still see each other on a weekly basis. She also gave me the sweetest and most thoughtful gift for my birthday last month. Maybe I’m just wanting too much...or maybe it’s the end.

 

[wvpimp00]

im going threw the same thing, she hasnt called em in 3 weeks and when we talk online she says: im going threw a phase and I want to go off alone..
but she still goes out with her firneds a lot and parties but she needs time away from everyone..

best advice I can give is: back off, no calls, no emails dont go see her and see if she comes back and if she doenst move on..
you can do it, its rough and i know it is but you have ot do it so your life can go on!

 

[MDgood]

Originally posted by FutureDJ
What’s it mean when a girl “needs her space”?

Dude, are you for real here? Sorry if I'm sounding harsh, but when a girl tells you she "needs her space" it means she has "lost interest in you and no longer likes you". It could also mean that at college she has "found a guy" who can "rock her world" with his "big a$$ rod". You should "ditch that girl" and "get her out of your mind" by "going someplace where the girls are" and "scoring some prime bootay".

Dude, you're FREE!!! Live it up!!!

 

[legolas]

Originally posted by FutureDJ
Three years into a relationship, should I be content with going out once a week, or am I right in wanting to see her more? I would think that three years into a healthy relationship we should be seeing each other more than once a week. Am I right about this? The thing that makes it hard for me to believe she doesn’t want in the relationship anymore is that she still seems to have fun when we go out and we do still see each other on a weekly basis. She also gave me the sweetest and most thoughtful gift for my birthday last month. Maybe I’m just wanting too much...or maybe it’s the end.

You're right in expecting thigs to streamline but with most girls they need to have some excitement in their relationship, and unless you're giving it to her in other ways, like doing crazy stuff in your dates, she's going to get bored from seing you excalty every weekend if not more. I'm no relationship expert, but if you wanted to spice things up, you could see her more randomly, d oesn't matter if you've been seing each other for 2 years or more.

 

[BobbDobbs]

Originally posted by FutureDJ
What’s it mean when a girl “needs her space”?

Well, on the planet earth it means she needs that space to fit another guy in.

 

[Industry]

Hang in there man. She may just want time alome to sort her life out. It doesn't always mean she's with someone else or she doesn't want to be together in the future. Take it for what it is. She wants to sort her life out without all of the constant pressure of a relationship. Mine coulnd't be saves because I wouldn't tolerate being left on the side while she contemplated if I was in the picture of her life. Hey she didn't even call me on my birthday yesterday... if that wasn't a clue or anyything. Cut off all contact and find something (someone) to do with your new found spare time. I have learned over the last month or so that I needed my "space" as well and I just didn't know it. I've slowly come out of my slightly depressed and needy state and have begun to see what I have missed out on over the last 2+ years. I suggest you do the same. If you want to talk, PM me or hit me up on AIM. My user name is LETSgetTOXIC.

Good luck.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Sounds like he needs to prove to himself that it can't be salvaged--denial or inexperience or both. Probably needs to go through it at least once. The next time he hears those words, he won't waste as much time.

 

[stuartSan]

If its one thing I've learnt in LTRs, it is that you shouldn't expect chicks to be lenient towards you. Wether or not its 5 or 10 years, they'd still leave if they don't feel excited around you anymore.

I think us men get more things done if we adopt this "I need to be constantly improving, don't wanna lose to the rest of the males" mindset instead of thinking "Bah, I wonder why chicks don't appreciate me for the man I am.. maybe the next girl will" all the time without even thinking of enhancing his life with more assets.

 

[die4me]

Tell her 'goodbye' and continue on with your life. If you barely see each other, why are you still with her? There are more girls, think about college. Don't wait for her to tell YOU goodbye, say it first and move on.

 

[DankNuggs]

Take this from a guy with the exact same experience...Tell her that she should have her space, and you are seeking your own, then make no initiation of contact. Don't attempt to make any impact in her life..Go find other girls, realize that there is a world full of hot intelligent sexy girls. When she comes crawling back, make the decision on your terms whether it is best for you or probably not...

If i had given myself this advice back in early college, would have saved me a lot of grief and anguish..