Need your opinion

[909pua]

Well met this HB8 a week ago at work. Stumbled upon her today, Friday. Here is the conversation went, a short version:

Her: Hey!
Me: Hey!
Her: How have you been?
Me: Good, what you up to today?
Her: Ah nothing, just working
Me: Lets go to lunch today
Her: Oh I already told some guys I'm going with them
Me: Oh that's cool, well let me know if you change your mind
Her: Well, why dont you just come with me and join us
Me: Umm, well its cool, we can go another time
Her: No really, just go with me and join us, meet me at 11:30 A at my desk
Me: Ok, see you

After thinking it up a bit, I dont want her to get her head big (ego boost by guys sharkin around her, including me), since there are already guys in the picture. 11:30 came, I didn't even bother going to her desk, I just went strait to lunch with a co-worker

After lunch, around 12:30, went back to my cube, stumbled upon her and she went AFC on me

Her: Hey, where were you, I was waiting for you
Me: (I made up some BS) Really? well I went there and you weren't there so I bounced
Her: well I was there until 11:35p
Me: Oh man, I went at 11:36 and you weren't there. I guess I missed you.
Her: Well I didnt end up going with the guys, I had to go to the bank and run errands
Me: Really, its all good dont worry, Let's break at 3 p, I'll come get you
Her: OK

Fast forward, It's 3 pm

Me: Hey let's go to break
Her: (looking pre-occupied and busy) You're going now?
Me: ya, lets go
Her: well, umm wait really quick
Me: Well if you're busy, its ok, we can do another time
Her: (hesitant and giving me a look like no one has ever done this to her) Well umm, I just have to finish something for so and so
Me: its ok, dont worry about it, we'll go another time
Her: Well we can go to lunch Monday,
Me: OK

anything i could have improved on?

 

[ARrocket]

I think you did fine for the most part. The whole "let me know if you change your mind" thing isn't really my style, sounds kinda needy IMO.

However, I'd suggest avoiding the whole lunch thing. The environment isn't really conducive to escalating and increasing attraction. If I were you, I'd get this girl to grab a drink with you after work. Get a lil booze in the both of you, work in some kino, and charm her pants off

 

[909pua]

If I were you, I'd get this girl to grab a drink with you after work. Get a lil booze in the both of you, work in some kino, and charm her pants off

I'd like to but this girl is only 19

 

[ARrocket]

I still think you should be gaming her outside of work. Maybe after work grab some coffee to go, take a little walk in the park.

 

[Uberguy]

I hate to recite cliches, but there's a reason why they're cliches.

*ahem*

Don't get laid where you get paid.

 

[f283000]

I was just in another thread that had a similar situation with a girl inviting a fella into her social circle. Good thing you didn't fall for it.

NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO GO TO HER SOCIAL CIRCLE/SOCIAL ACTIVITIES UNLESS SHE'S YOUR GF ALREADY!

It's a sure way into the friend zone. Keep your interactions with a woman just between you 2 until your banging her and shes your gf. There's plenty of time to meet her stupid obnoxious friends later. You can't properly seduce a woman with her nosy friends right there with you. One of the key principles of seduction is ISOLATION.

 

[Ease]

Fast forward, It's 3 pm

Me: Hey let's go to break
Her: (looking pre-occupied and busy) You're going now?
Me: ya, lets go
Her: well, umm wait really quick
Me: Well if you're busy, its ok, we can do another time
Her: (hesitant and giving me a look like no one has ever done this to her) Well umm, I just have to finish something for so and so
Me: its ok, dont worry about it, we'll go another time
Her: Well we can go to lunch Monday,
Me: OK

anything i could have improved on?

You should have said 'hurry up lets go' and dragged her by her hand after a few minutes. As long as you dont say 'ok baby il wait take as long as you need', it wud have been more beneficial to stay.

You can't do the 'if ur busy il bounce' everytime.

At some points you will be certain that she is interested in you, after which she may fake and play hard to get again. She's more afraid of losing you than you losing her, which is the natural order of life, like in the movie 'hes just not into you'.

If you punish her and bail out everytime she plays hard to get then you wont get anywhere. Sometimes you have take the risk and plough through her fake resistances and girly game. The downside with this is that sometimes her playing hard to get will turn out to be genuine disinterest and you will get rejected and may cry in front of her, but thats life.

Edit: altho theres nothing wrong with what you did, dont do it everytime, too much of a good thing and all that.

 

[909pua]

I was just in another thread that had a similar situation with a girl inviting a fella into her social circle. Good thing you didn't fall for it.

NEVER ALLOW YOURSELF TO GO TO HER SOCIAL CIRCLE/SOCIAL ACTIVITIES UNLESS SHE'S YOUR GF ALREADY!

It's a sure way into the friend zone. Keep your interactions with a woman just between you 2 until your banging her and shes your gf. There's plenty of time to meet her stupid obnoxious friends later. You can't properly seduce a woman with her nosy friends right there with you. One of the key principles of seduction is ISOLATION.

Problem is, this is a work environment and her social cirlcle/social activities are ppl that I also work with. I just dont know them. Also, I discovered the baiting method to cure being friendzoned. Read my thread about "Things I have learned so far". So I'm not even worried. Just dont want to get fired.

 

[909pua]

Sometimes you have take the risk and plough through her fake resistances and girly game. The downside with this is that sometimes her playing hard to get will turn out to be genuine disinterest and you will get rejected and may cry in front of her, but thats life.

So what you trying to say? That if she fakes resistances to fake being an AFC ?

 

[bukowski_merit]

You're letting her lead WAY too much.... The only time you really led and she accepted was when you asked her to meet at 3 for break... Which... she ended up not following through with...

Me: ya, lets go
Her: well, umm wait really quick

I'd give her a smirk, a thumbs up sign with one hand, and a "bye-bye" sign with the other hand and walk off.... She'd either follow or complain that i was being a jerk... Either way - good things for me... (and trust me: I have NEVER lost a woman to this kind of approach; only made them like me more.)

instead you...

Me: Well if you're busy, its ok, we can do another time

I don't like this approach. It's too submissive, UNLESS you're walking away as you say it. Saying that and still standing there is you looking for her leadership or approval.... Example: "ok, we'll do it some other times" (her leadership) or "no, i want to go with you" (her approval).

Her: (hesitant and giving me a look like no one has ever done this to her)

Did what? Told her "it's ok, we can do it some other time" while standing there??? That's only a step up from saying, "it's ok, i'll just wait for you to finish." and standing there.

Her: Well we can go to lunch Monday,
Me: OK

Here she is leading again.... You can claim you're "baiting" her into leading, but why bait when you can lead yourself?

 

[909pua]

OK, so if you were me, and Monday comes along, what would you do then?

 

[boomerick]

I know you have no interest in this advice but I'm gonna give it anyway......

Getting involved with chicks at work is risking your income for p*ssy.....

It's not ever a good idea.....

OK...I've said it ...I'm done.....

Over and Out.

 

[f283000]

Problem is, this is a work environment and her social cirlcle/social activities are ppl that I also work with.

It doesn't matter. With women you always have to set the tone that you are a possible lover not a friend. This is why you need to refuse to HANGOUT with friends/works or whatever and keep your interactions with a woman 100% just between you two.

 

[909pua]

OK, saw her today. I was planning on telling her to go to lunch at 11:45 AM since it came out of her mouth the previous Friday. It was 11:30 so I walk to her area. I don't know if this was test or something, but I saw her then I said "Hey, Let's go at 11:45A", then she says "Oh, you know what, I can't go today, I have to go some place in LA to finish up some things and I might be there for the rest of the day, Oh, we are gonna have to reschedule again". I said, emotionless and not being affected "Oh, that's cool, no worries". Before I was about to walk out on her, she introduces me to another guy that was sitting next to her, some new guy that just started. I don't know if this was a test to see how I would respond but I met the dude, and I started talking to the guy about guns and firearms after about 5 min. This guy, before we broke ice with eacdh other had that AFC/haters look when I was introduced. Anyway, after about 10 min of talking to him, I said bye to both of them.

Fast forward 4 hours later, I was getting reviewed by my manager on my work performance and along the way, I saw her sit down in the cafeteria eating something. I thought to my head, wait I thought she told me she was gonna be gone the rest of the day at LA? Anyway, when I saw her, I made a hi gesture like nothing, like nothing was affecting me. The whole time I was getting reviewed, I would peep over and observe her and she looked bothered or sad. Then she left after about 10 min, my review wasn't done until 30 min later. So this is my update.

 

[yuppaz]

Been there done that with the work thing.....wayyyyyyy too risky if things end (or even if they get awkward, like she mistakes a c&f line as a serious insult). Find new plates to spin. DON'T SH*T WHERE YOU EAT

 

[dj_china]

Fast forward 4 hours later, I was getting reviewed by my manager on my work performance and along the way, I saw her sit down in the cafeteria eating something. I thought to my head, wait I thought she told me she was gonna be gone the rest of the day at LA? Anyway, when I saw her, I made a hi gesture like nothing, like nothing was affecting me. The whole time I was getting reviewed, I would peep over and observe her and she looked bothered or sad. Then she left after about 10 min, my review wasn't done until 30 min later. So this is my update.

do you think she was bothered or sad about you?

 

[jophil28]

When your attempts at getting together with a new woman becomes this uncertain and this difficult to meet up for a drink or a bite, it usually never improves.
If she really wanted to do this, she would do this.

As a general comment - Women who talk about being "unsure",
" confused", "busy schedule ", " I'm just out of a relationship" or some other fudge, are telling you that they are not interested IN YOU.

You can waste perfectly good "game" on someone like that if you wish, but usually you will fail because she is not a willing or an eager participant in what she knows that you want.

Plow on if you are really determined to see it through, but probably your energies are better expended with some other contender -someone who is sending you strong buying signals.

The most reliable, and the strongest buying signal will always be her willingness to be alone with you in a place of your choosing.

 

[Die Hard]

She blew it.. Next!!

 

[909pua]

do you think she was bothered or sad about you?

i dont know, i'd like to think so, so I can get an ego boost!

 

[909pua]

When your attempts at getting together with a new woman becomes this uncertain and this difficult to meet up for a drink or a bite, it usually never improves.
If she really wanted to do this, she would do this.

As a general comment - Women who talk about being "unsure",
" confused", "busy schedule ", " I'm just out of a relationship" or some other fudge, are telling you that they are not interested IN YOU.

You can waste perfectly good "game" on someone like that if you wish, but usually you will fail because she is not a willing or an eager participant in what she knows that you want.

Plow on if you are really determined to see it through, but probably your energies are better expended with some other contender -someone who is sending you strong buying signals.

The most reliable, and the strongest buying signal will always be her willingness to be alone with you in a place of your choosing.

Ya, your argument sounds logical. I won't make any more moves/initiations with her but rather just be polite from now on with a hi/bye. thanks for your insight.