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[NEED YOUR help.] Is she attracted, or not?

D3G3N

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Hey guys, just as a preface, I know the basic concept of not overthinking things or giving too much value to women and avoiding being needy etc, don't worry, I'm not that torn up about this girl, I just want to fix the leaks in my "game" if you will. This is a recurring issue that I have and I think dissecting the situation may reveal something I'm doing wrong.

There is a girl in my class at college. She's a hot Asian chick, but not super quiet/conservative like a lot of Asian girls. She just transferred from another school and used to be in an Asian sorority. I'm Asian as well but I'm in a general non race-based fraternity here.

First day of class, I went to the back row and sat next to her and some random guy on my right. This was on purpose, I try and get proximity with good looking girls in my classes so I can get to know them throughout the semester. It's worked way better than the alternative, (which is not doing it at all) so far. Basically your chances go from zero to non zero since you can actually interact with them and get to know them, form groups with them, etc.

I've been talking to her for the last four classes, so far things are pretty playful and fun. That's what I've portrayed so far in this class, or at least that's what I think.

These are reasons I feel like she must be at least slightly attracted to me, but please correct me if I'm wrong

-At least half the time she initiates the conversation by saying something to me at random about the class or anything in general. (But this could just be her being social and friendly, knowing that I'm friendly as well). My assumption is that if she didn't want to talk to me, she wouldn't keep doing this. For example, I'll walk into class, and she'll ask "how's rush?" and start a conversation about it
-Last class she wore one of my fraternity's PR shirts (she knew some of my brothers from her old school). I walked into class late while there was a video going on, and went to my usual seat next to her. Didn't say a word to her, didn't look at her, and she nudges me with her foot and says "like my shirt?" Is this an IOI or not? I mean it sure SEEMS like it is...
-A lot of eye contact and smiling in general, though many women just do this to be pleasant and friendly
-Very open to interaction, for example she'll be drawing something on her ipad or playing a game and offers it to me

HOWEVER, this is where things start to confuse me

-Third class in, I ask her if she has class after this one. She replies no, why? I ask her if she wants to eat. Her response: "I just ate, and I have to go get a parking pass from my friend". Ok, first attempt, not a big deal

-Later that week, I text her "wanna eat at 6?" She replies that she has class til 7 and a meeting afterwards. Ok, sounds legitimate, but hmm. No attempt to reschedule. I reply "ha no problem, you invite me next time" she doesn't respond

-Today, in class (the time that she asked me if I like her shirt) there is a lot more teasing/flirting going on than usual, which still isn't a crazy amount. She just seemed so damn receptive! We walk out of class together as usual and I talk to her as usual, and ask her if she wants to go to the school cafe with me. She responds "ugh, I would LOVE to go, but I have class" (not sure if she really does have class. apparently it is a "monday" class. bull****? i'll never know) it sounds genuine but may not be for all I know. She recalls a story of when she used to drink on her old campus with her fake ID. At some point at the end of the conversation I call it out and say "this is the third time I've asked you to do something" in a direct/frustrated, but not overly harsh manner. She responds with "I know, but you always ask me when I have class! I'll invite you next time I'm open or something" I tell her to just come to "the house" (she knows I live with three of my fraternity brothers) because it's across the street from school
-I follow this up shortly with a text that says "Come over after your class, its just across the street"
-She responds with "We'll see how late my class gets out! I need to head over to the gym too"
-Blah blah blah, eventually it ends with "She let us out late, next time!"

Wow, now that I've typed this out, it looks like I've been chasing pretty hardcore. Sure didn't feel like it at the time.

I've ready several sources of theory that say when a girl won't work out logistics to hang out with you, says she's too busy, etc, there isn't enough attraction. Is that the problem here? What should I be doing differently?

Thank you guys,

Degen
 

cablecow15

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Personally , Id go cold for a bit and se what happens , dont ignore her , but don't give her any extra attention either , just forget about her for a bit and focus on someone else for a while .

she could very well be giving you legitimate answers , and if thats the case , once she noticed your lowered intrest , and if shes into you she will , she will try to make more of a effort to talk see you etc , just give it a shot and if nothing changes you can persue again just to be sure
 

The Gambler

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The one thing I noticed is that she never offers an alternate time to meet with you when she says she already has things going on... You kinda noticed that yourself.

The are definite IOIs going on (OF COURSE she wore that shirt for you to see it), Since the semester just recently began, however, you have to wonder if at least one or two other guys aren't going for her at the same time and they may be ahead of you. She doesn't want to write you off, because she does like you, but she can only handle so much on her schedule at once.

Who knows... But I agree with cablecow15. Go cold for a while and let her figure things out in her own mind. If you have another female friend in that class, sit next to HER next time! See what happens then! ;)

The Gambler
 

D3G3N

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Thank you...

Thanks, both of your responses were pretty helpful.

Gambler, yes, I did notice that and I also considered that there could be guys ahead of me.

I'm just going to pursue other women for now and see what happens.

Appreciate the help. And thanks for affirming that the shirt was indeed an IOI lol, because my friend was saying he could see her wearing that because that's just one of her shirts, and saying that to anyone else... though nah, it's definitely for me

I really like the idea of sitting next to another girl, I just don't know how I will do this. I don't know anyone else in that class. Unless I go really early and just stalk women lol, and it's going to be weird if I do that. I've sat in the same seat every class and it's always there for me when I come in, even if im late

Got any advice there?
 

The Gambler

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D3G3N said:
I really like the idea of sitting next to another girl, I just don't know how I will do this. I don't know anyone else in that class. Unless I go really early and just stalk women lol, and it's going to be weird if I do that. I've sat in the same seat every class and it's always there for me when I come in, even if im late

Got any advice there?
Even if you don't sit next to a female, still sit somewhere a few rows in front of her where you know she will have a good view of you.... Then act like you are texting someone here and there during class.... Be cool about it, but in a subtle way hold the phone at an angle where you know she will notice it. When you leave, if she makes contact with you be nice to her, but have the vibe that you have things to do and places to go.

You'll pull this off, no problem. As for the results, we'll just have to wait and see...

The Gambler
 

Well I'm here to tell you there is such a magic wand. Something that will make you almost completely irresistible to any woman you "point it" at. Something guaranteed to fill your life with love, romance, and excitement.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

NewAndImproved

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From experience back in college, had one girl who acted like this. I think you're doing the right thing making things casual, inviting her out during class, or trying to bounce straight from class to the dining hall or cafe. That usually works. Dating in college ought to be casual.

HOWEVER, for this one girl I dealt with, I eventually got her to come out with me by making it *slightly* more formal. Call her up and make plans for a specific day at a specific time 2 DAYS in advance. You could still go the dining hall route... what I did actually was take her to another dining hall that neither of us usually went to so it was "special" but still free!!

If you do it this way, you can cut through her "last minute plans" after class, and see if she's blowing you off or it's actually genuine.
 

D3G3N

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Also, she DID say that she would invite me next time she was free. So if this happens, the problem fixes itself.
 

D3G3N

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Hey, also I'm afraid that if I sit away from her next class, she will interpret it as me being mad or trying too hard to cold shoulder. Thoughts?
 

D3G3N

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Yeah, but he sits right next to me and her. So it'd be supremely weird to just move to a new spot. Her > Me > Friend
 

Slickster

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I think you are doing just fine. I would lay off asking her to do stuff for a bit.

I wouldn't switch seats just for the reason that your seat has been "reserved" so to speak until now. If you start moving around you will probably lose your spot there and chances to interact with her go down. If you do lose it how would you get it back without looking lame?

From your description I have a pretty good idea what kind of chick this is. In my experience you will have a better chance by getting "in" with her social circle. I know she is new there but she sounds like the type who rolls with a certain crowd. Chicks like this usually won't just date a random dude until he measures up with the group. Even if she doesn't have a group yet she is looking for one and isn't sure about you yet.

If it were me I would look at this one as a term long project. Seduce her over the next couple months rather than push for it early. Be cool and fun and try to end up at the same parties. After a few social events outside of class you will be in a better position to push things further and set up a date. Until then keep it casual. The lunch offers, etc are fine. Just don't place any meaning on whether she accepts or not and hold back if she keeps saying no. Your show of frustration after multiple rejections didn't need to happen. Just be like "whatever" and don't show her that it phases you at all. Even if you don't get anywhere you can get a lot of social proof out of her that will help with other chicks.

Keep your options open and don't hide the fact that you are interested in others.
 

D3G3N

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Well said man, well said. I agree with the seat change thing, doesn't make sense to me to move. But I'll just show less interest and lay off the invites for a week or two (hopefully during that time she amps up the interest or invites me instead as she said she would)

In the meantime, I am going to try and meet more women.

I'm getting frustrated with myself as I've had very limited results in college so far and I'm in my second year. Since last year I've improved physically (worked out and ate better, lost a few body fat percentage points), am (re)working my style (I already dress better than most of my peers, by a longshot) , keep a good haircut, am independently wealthy (though I don't think that helps with college game that much, or at least it hasn't helped me too much. For example I drive an older Porsche I purchased for myself when I was 18, but I don't think it really changes things for some reason). I'm also involved in greek life.

Even though I'm in a fraternity my social value is kind of ****. I was a social wreck when I got to college, I was into ridiculous PUA **** that made me way too ****y and I was so inexperienced it was hilarious. My hair was dyed... I wore crazy/eccentric clothing and did my fair share of experimenting with accessories. I didn't walk around with a top hat and goggles, but I definitely stood out. So in summary, despite my positive external qualities (nice car, money, now decent appearance) I am not pulling.

Last year, I probably successfully attracted like three or four women for more than a short term deal (we were either meeting regularly or nearly but not officially dating), but couldn't close for various reasons. There was a pretty good looking (8 if i had to rate her) blonde girl that I saw on the regular for a month, but she had personality flaws (intense narcissism, neediness), but she was intensely religious. We messed around a lot and I was really aggressive, but we never actually had sex.

There was also a legitimate model that saw my PUA profile pics (random club girls + me) etc and she was kind of superficial so me just adding her on FB created some attraction. I qualified the **** out of her and she was hooked hardcore for about 48 hours, then I ****ed it up by revealing my true neediness and inexperience. I literally reeled her in then threw her back without intending to.

At the beginning of the year, my eccentricity and PUA skillset allowed me to meet the hottest girls in my class year, and most of them were actually cool with me. I could have just friendzoned myself with them and gained epic amounts of social value (one of the hottest girls on campus would come up to ME at parties, I regularly hung out with an extremely attractive, top five in our freshman class blonde girl all over campus, etc)

But I messed that all up by trying to **** every girl I interacted with. I only interacted with hot women and tried to **** all of them. It just ended up destroying my chances at cultivating social value.

I have a neutral/bad rep in the greek community and my school in general. I came off as an *******/weird to a lot of girls early on and basically owned myself. I think a lot of this is rooted in the fact that I only go for 8's through 10's, and won't settle for less. So I alienated the average/ok looking girls and creeped out the best ones. This is perpetuating itself even though I've changed so much. I don't know what to do. It's getting better, but so slowly, and I am somewhat alienated at the moment.

Also I think it's worth mentioning that I'm not sure where I stand in terms of looks (looks are really important in college, trust me on this one...) though I'm definitely not BAD looking. I'm not fat, but I'm not super fit. So I think it's safe to say I'm between average and decent. My ROOMMATE on the other hand, is like a statuesque God. If he's in the room, I stand no chance. (He also has a lot of social value as a result of his appearance, all the girls think of him as the hottest guy in our class year, etc. Also he's cool and fun so it's just a deadly combo)bbbbbbbbbbbbbb

What I still do have:

  • High value friends
  • Membership in one of the main fraternities (the guys are mostly neutral with me, some like me, some hate me)
  • All the things I used to have, e.g., money
  • Now improving my general social skills
  • I have a stronger identity in general now
  • In the process of further improving my style
  • A couple of years of school left to work with

What I believe I still lack:

  • My own personal social value
  • General social calibration
  • Good looks/appearance
  • A good base group of female friends
  • Prospects (I just don't know how to go from this scarcity to abundance)
  • A mentor or guide
  • Anything concrete and material to show for the massive amount of effort and frustration I've been through

Does anyone have advice or suggestions? Thank you all.
 

flashpoint

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attraction on her side implicates that you dont have to chase her much. or ask over and over for a get-together. seems like you are already on a 4th strike so you really need to tune it down and play it cool. i wouldnt sit somewhere else tho, because that really could look like a passive aggressive move on your side. pams are chick stuff, so dont be one. Instead i'd make the convos way more casual, still friendly but put some tease and neg in there. and maybe drop a line here and there about a girl that you are seeing. or more than one. without much indication whether you are together or just friends. indirectly, like e.g. when maybe you guys talk about weekend plans, you could tell her that "Susan" is much into Art and so you guys will check out the new gallery together. stuff like that, true or not. BUT better make it true - spin more plates. or see that you have other options.

just talk to others, you could start with "he havent i seen you at ..." and if not, well you are already in a conversation ... it is tempting to talk about class and such in college, but it is also BORING. ok everyone likes to complain, and there is nothing wrong with that, but I'd suggest to steer the conversation more to something outside the class. parties, sports, music, fun, something people like to relate to .... and again playful tease with girls and lots of it. they might be hot as hell, you dont try to hit on them, just be fun and a bit ****y and as if you dont care. they might get the idea that you are a player and have options, just because you show this careless attitude. if you can get this idea in your head all the better. you will get a girl eventually, maybe not this one so another one, and another one and ... there is no need to rush it. with this in mind you have much better chances to score with this one particular girl as well.

in general concerning making new acquaintances and friends: i have found a strange phenomenon that when you and a bunch of strangers share are common ground, space, room, place, whatever .. this creates an idea of commonality which in turn makes just talking to each other way less creepy than if there was none of it. still strangers but you can talk to each others as if you had know each other for some time already. which also implies that you dont need to be eager to "make it work" or something. a casual remark is enough to open a conversation. and then you take it from there. as if you were already buddies.

and again, concerning the chick, at some point you need to turn your interactions with her into something that implicates that there is something going on with you two. in playful way. the t-tshirt was a nice opportunity for that, like saying "you going to stalk me now?" and everytime you see her calling her jokingly "hey stalker". just as example. you say you do already teasing and flirting, but i am not sure if it goes in this direction, where you play with what is going on between the two of you.
 

Kbomb

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You didn't attract her. You did enough for her to be friendly but not enough to give her a reason to want to spend time with you.

Time for some skill ups but it seems like your already on your way.

edit: good looks are overrated. personality is key.
 

omega05

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You have to decide where to sit in class based on a girl who wont give you the time of day? What part of the game is that?

You're posting all this "I got this and that" but you're running on here over one girl...Is she the only girl at your school?
 

The Gambler

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D3G3N said:
Hey guys, just as a preface, I know the basic concept of not overthinking things....

Degen
Sorry Degen, but you ARE overthinking things. Waaaaayyy too much. Along with that, you are trying to find a solution with no risk. We would all love riskless interactions with women, but that rarely happens.

Learn to EMBRACE the risk. Be calculated, be smart, and learn to enjoy the risk of gambling. Gambling is what the game is all about.

The Gambler
 
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