[NEED YOUR help!] Frustration/Alienation in College, How to Fix It?

[D3G3N]

I've been amazed so far at the quality of advice I've received on this forum. This is probably the best community I've ever encountered for general life advice/advice on women. THANK YOU. With that being said...

I'm getting frustrated with myself as I've had very limited results in college so far and I'm in my second year. Since last year I've improved physically (worked out and ate better, lost a few body fat percentage points), am (re)working my style (I already dress better than most of my peers, by a longshot) , keep a good haircut, am independently wealthy (though I don't think that helps with college game that much, or at least it hasn't helped me too much. For example I drive an older Porsche I purchased for myself when I was 18, but I don't think it really changes things for some reason). I'm also involved in greek life.

Even though I'm in a fraternity my social value is kind of ****. I was a social wreck when I got to college, I was into ridiculous PUA **** that made me way too ****y and I was so inexperienced it was hilarious. My hair was dyed... I wore crazy/eccentric clothing and did my fair share of experimenting with accessories. I didn't walk around with a top hat and goggles, but I definitely stood out. So in summary, despite my positive external qualities (nice car, money, now decent appearance) I am not pulling.

Last year, I probably successfully attracted like three or four women for more than a short term deal (we were either meeting regularly or nearly but not officially dating), but couldn't close for various reasons. There was a pretty good looking (8 if i had to rate her) blonde girl that I saw on the regular for a month, but she had personality flaws (intense narcissism, neediness), but she was intensely religious. We messed around a lot and I was really aggressive, but we never actually had sex.

There was also a legitimate model that saw my PUA profile pics (random club girls + me) etc and she was kind of superficial so me just adding her on FB created some attraction. I qualified the **** out of her and she was hooked hardcore for about 48 hours, then I ****ed it up by revealing my true neediness and inexperience. I literally reeled her in then threw her back without intending to.

At the beginning of the year, my eccentricity and PUA skillset allowed me to meet the hottest girls in my class year, and most of them were actually cool with me. I could have just friendzoned myself with them and gained epic amounts of social value (one of the hottest girls on campus would come up to ME at parties, I regularly hung out with an extremely attractive, top five in our freshman class blonde girl all over campus, etc)

But I messed that all up by trying to **** every girl I interacted with. I only interacted with hot women and tried to **** all of them. It just ended up destroying my chances at cultivating social value.

I have a neutral/bad rep in the greek community and my school in general. I came off as an *******/weird to a lot of girls early on and basically owned myself. I think a lot of this is rooted in the fact that I only go for 8's through 10's, and won't settle for less. So I alienated the average/ok looking girls and creeped out the best ones. This is perpetuating itself even though I've changed so much. I don't know what to do. It's getting better, but so slowly, and I am somewhat alienated at the moment.

Also I think it's worth mentioning that I'm not sure where I stand in terms of looks (looks are really important in college, trust me on this one...) though I'm definitely not BAD looking. I'm not fat, but I'm not super fit. So I think it's safe to say I'm between average and decent. My ROOMMATE on the other hand, is like a statuesque God. If he's in the room, I stand no chance. (He also has a lot of social value as a result of his appearance, all the girls think of him as the hottest guy in our class year, etc. Also he's cool and fun so it's just a deadly combo)bbbbbbbbbbbbbb

What I still do have:

• High value friends
• Membership in one of the main fraternities (the guys are mostly neutral with me, some like me, some hate me)
• All the things I used to have, e.g., money
• Now improving my general social skills
• I have a stronger identity in general now
• In the process of further improving my style
• A couple of years of school left to work with

What I believe I still lack:

• My own personal social value
• General social calibration
• Good looks/appearance
• A good base group of female friends
• Prospects (I just don't know how to go from this scarcity to abundance)
• A mentor or guide
• Anything concrete and material to show for the massive amount of effort and frustration I've been through

Does anyone have advice or suggestions? Thank you all.

 

[LinkinParkROX]

My advice would be to not expect too much too fast. All good things take time, bro. That being said, you'd agree with me that you've made progress since you first came to this website, right? Aha! It's working! Here's my advice: keep reading, keep putting it into practice. Consistently do this, and the ones that see you as weird and creepy, the ones that alienate you now, will later be in awe of the Don Juan you become. I hope you go far, sir!

 

[Who Dares Win]

Its much easier to learn from your mistake and restart fresh with the tools to score than simply try to save a mess you did even if you have better means than when you started.

My suggestion is to keep yourself around these people only as a plan b but to find other people which doesnt have any opinion about you yet, so you can use what you learned by your mistake to make your persona more appreciated and succesful.

Old groups rarely will change their view of you no matter what you do and whenever you behave in a way that its not familiar or appreciated to them, they will try to put you back in the position they expect you to be.
Example is the geeky guy who got in shape and learned game that is c0ckblocked or ridiculed from his group in front of potential prospects.

So again my suggestion is be polite and nice with these people since you have to deal with them but for your pleasure find yourself greener pastures, not only for efficiency but to enjoy your life more as well.

 

[D3G3N]

That's really solid advice, but I don't know if that's exactly practical. I see the same people over and over again, as we are all involved in Greek life... and if I game any woman outside of that social circle, there is little to no social value to be utilized anyways. Greek life IS my social circle, and I'm not dropping out or moving to a new college.

 

[Who Dares Win]

That's really solid advice, but I don't know if that's exactly practical. I see the same people over and over again, as we are all involved in Greek life... and if I game any woman outside of that social circle, there is little to no social value to be utilized anyways. Greek life IS my social circle, and I'm not dropping out or moving to a new college.

Well so you either get out of your comfort zone and dare new ways or you will still getting what you are getting now.

Cant really tell how to change the attitute of that group toward you, maybe some other guy here can (if possible).

Anyway I still suggest you new routes while you still keep a good allignment toward your base.

Talking about the social value you consider so hightly, how much do you have in the group which by your own words :

I have a neutral/bad rep in the greek community and my school in general. I came off as an *******/weird to a lot of girls early on and basically owned myself.

You are trying to grow fruits on dry ground.

 

[JohnChops]

Its much easier to learn from your mistake and restart fresh with the tools to score than simply try to save a mess you did even if you have better means than when you started.

My suggestion is to keep yourself around these people only as a plan b but to find other people which doesnt have any opinion about you yet, so you can use what you learned by your mistake to make your persona more appreciated and succesful.

Old groups rarely will change their view of you no matter what you do and whenever you behave in a way that its not familiar or appreciated to them, they will try to put you back in the position they expect you to be.
Example is the geeky guy who got in shape and learned game that is c0ckblocked or ridiculed from his group in front of potential prospects.

So again my suggestion is be polite and nice with these people since you have to deal with them but for your pleasure find yourself greener pastures, not only for efficiency but to enjoy your life more as well.

This first paragraph is honestly the best advice . Ever. Its like going back to an old girl with the new you... She still thinks of you as the same guy you were before. Spot fvcking on.

 

[PapiChulo]

I would put my money on the looks/shape first before anything. Being decent-looking doesn't really cut it (speaking from experience) and will hardly land you a cute girl. It's a beta game for the average boys, social circles and luck (being at the right moment/place). My 02 cents.

 

[PersistenceIsKey]

So Papi, you're saying prioritize getting better looking and in good shape?

 

[PapiChulo]

Yeah, it's a longterm investment with the most payoff.

 

[Trump]

First of all bro don't value your friends so much, they will crush you in your time of need. Second don't expect an outcome with these girls, just go with the flow. Girls can easily tell whether you are being sincere or just want to get in their pants and have sex, and they will get creeped out if it's the latter.

You mention social value 5x in your OP. Yes others have to like you but again, these same people who like you on Wed could hate you on Thurs. Don't value everyone so much.

I'd rather people respect you than like you.

 

[flashpoint]

do you know how you would feel, act, be if all the things you are lacking right now where there? how would that be different? i would start there.

 

[Bible_Belt]

I searched your post for the word "fun," and it only came up in your description of your roommate, who you said was good with girls. I don't think that's a coincidence.

You seem very focused, analytical, and driven, all of which is great for business and for academics. But it's not fun. If you're in a frat, you're probably doing all of the college things that are supposed to be fun. But I suspect you are faking it. If you are not genuinely having a good time, it will always be difficult to attract women.