Need your advice!She does not respond to my messages (and my phone call)

[osborne]

Let me first give you a quick background. I am working for a bank. Over the summer we were working with two law firms on some legal stuff. There was this girl who had recently started working in one of those firms and was assigned to work with me on the project. I found her quite attractive from the very beginning and I was positive that I will eventually ask her out. Since we were working together, though, I didn't do anything until recently when the project was pretty much over.
Like a month ago, I called her up and asked her out. She was on vacation. But she told me that she would like to do that. When she came back to Austin, I set up the time and took her out. The first date went awesome. She actually told me that she is interested to go out again, and I could tell that she was excited about it. We decided to do something for the weekend after. In between, we were sending each other messages. Since we both are very busy, we did not talk on the phone much. The next weekend, we went out again. It went great. We went for a college basketball game, had dinner and even talked about some serious issues. She told me (and this is important) that she just came out of a serious relationship (which from what I have heard ended more than a year ago) and she has just started working at this firm, but she still would like this to become more serious. She then added that this won't happen any soon and it takes some time. She even said that I should not push her into this. After the second date, we still kept in touch via messages. Everything was pretty normal. She told me that she would like to go out again the weekend after (which is two weekends ago), but then she canceled on me the last minute, saying that she's got a lot of work to do (which I totally understand) and a high school friend of her is visiting the weekend after (which is last weekend). She also mentioned that we should do something else early next week (which is last week). I responded positively.
What is kind of awkward, though, is that she suddenly stopped responding to my messages after that last message. I even called her up last night and left a message. She did not call me back. This has been very frustrating for me, specially because I do know that she's got my messages. There is no way that she hasn't got my messages.
At this point, I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I really like her and I am willing to do what it takes to be with her. On the other hand, I do not know if she is still interested or not. I have no way to confirm this either, simply because she doesn't respond to my messages or phone call. I also don't want to keep sending her messages or keep calling her, because then I will come off clingy and needy. Over the last week, I send her three messages and called her once last night. I also don't want to push her. But then I'm afraid that if I kick back and do nothing, she may think that I have lost interest after she stopped responding. This communication break-down is killing me.

Do you guys have any advice?

 

[Gamble]

Let me first give you a quick background. I am working for a bank. Over the summer we were working with two law firms on some legal stuff. There was this girl who had recently started working in one of those firms and was assigned to work with me on the project. I found her quite attractive from the very beginning and I was positive that I will eventually ask her out. Since we were working together, though, I didn't do anything until recently when the project was pretty much over.
Like a month ago, I called her up and asked her out. She was on vacation. But she told me that she would like to do that. When she came back to Austin, I set up the time and took her out. The first date went awesome. She actually told me that she is interested to go out again, and I could tell that she was excited about it. We decided to do something for the weekend after. In between, we were sending each other messages. Since we both are very busy, we did not talk on the phone much. The next weekend, we went out again. It went great. We went for a college basketball game, had dinner and even talked about some serious issues. She told me (and this is important) that she just came out of a serious relationship (which from what I have heard ended more than a year ago) and she has just started working at this firm, but she still would like this to become more serious. She then added that this won't happen any soon and it takes some time. She even said that I should not push her into this. After the second date, we still kept in touch via messages. Everything was pretty normal. She told me that she would like to go out again the weekend after (which is two weekends ago), but then she canceled on me the last minute, saying that she's got a lot of work to do (which I totally understand) and a high school friend of her is visiting the weekend after (which is last weekend). She also mentioned that we should do something else early next week (which is last week). I responded positively.
What is kind of awkward, though, is that she suddenly stopped responding to my messages after that last message. I even called her up last night and left a message. She did not call me back. This has been very frustrating for me, specially because I do know that she's got my messages. There is no way that she hasn't got my messages.
At this point, I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I really like her and I am willing to do what it takes to be with her. On the other hand, I do not know if she is still interested or not. I have no way to confirm this either, simply because she doesn't respond to my messages or phone call. I also don't want to keep sending her messages or keep calling her, because then I will come off clingy and needy. Over the last week, I send her three messages and called her once last night. I also don't want to push her. But then I'm afraid that if I kick back and do nothing, she may think that I have lost interest after she stopped responding. This communication break-down is killing me.

Do you guys have any advice?

Did you kino enough the first couple of dates to let her know your intentions? Maybe you weren't aggressive enough with what you wanted? Keep no contact for now, just wait until she reaches out to you. If not, move on to the next.

 

[osborne]

Oh, yeah. I did. As I said, everything went great in the first two dates.

 

[GS750]

I'm with Gamble. Give it a week or so. See if she has enough interest to reach out and contact you.

 

[Renegade357]

She told me (and this is important) that she just came out of a serious relationship (which from what I have heard ended more than a year ago) and she has just started working at this firm, but she still would like this to become more serious.

Why were you talking about this stuff on the 2nd date? You should be avoiding heavy subjects. If anything you should take it as a red flag. The chick is on the rebound. She's talking about her ex. On the 2nd date. Bad bad bad sign.

I think you're out.

 

[Checkmate12]

On the other hand, I do not know if she is still interested or not. I have no way to confirm this either, simply because she doesn't respond to my messages or phone call. I also don't want to keep sending her messages or keep calling her, because then I will come off clingy and needy. Over the last week, I send her three messages and called her once last night.
Do you guys have any advice?

You do have a way to confirm this.. has she replied to your three messages or phone call? No? She is no longer interested.

Although you say the first couple dates went great, Im going to go ahead and say they probably didn't go as great as you think they did. I have a hunch that you showed your true afc colors which is why she avidly mentioned that she didn't want to be pushed into anything serious with you. On top of that, your post wreaks of neediness.

Cut your losses and move on, you're not going to regain her lost interest. That's the hard truth.

P.s. for future reference if a woman doesn't reply to your texts/calls twice in a row, NEXT HER BY DEFAULT!

 

[Harry Wilmington]

Ugh, I read stuff like this and I cringe. Why? Because I used to do this SAME STUFF.

I won't even go into all the errors you made that caused her to back up. What I WILL do, though, is direct you to a podcast I did last week that, I feel, is the biggest mistake you made - just go HERE and listen. I promise you, once you hear it, you won't want to make this mistake again, and it will totally expand the lifespan of your relationship with any future girls!

 

[nismo-4]

Your princess is in another castle. Awesome date my ass. Judge by actions, not words. When a woman stops returning your calls and doesn't respond to your texts, she's got another man and has rejected you.

Would she forget to return a phone call that Brad Pitt gave her? I think not.

Go ghost on her and spin more plates. Keep calling her; that's chasing her away more and more. Bad.

Case closed.

 

[Donnie Darko]

The problem is you treated her like a potential LTR which came across as boring and unattractive. She knows she can have you if she wants to but instead she wants someone better than her...someone she thinks might not want her and that she doesn't deserve.

Instead of acting interested in a LTR you should have just been trying to have sex with her. You are taking her on dates that should be reserved for girlfriends that you are already having sex with.

You have sex first and then after many more months of sex then you can start to think about a LTR relationship with her after she asks and she has met your qualifications.

Stop sending her messages. Stop contacting her. She already knows you are interested and she got your messages and you are probably freaking her out by all the attention that you are giving her. Go no contact for 5 days and see if she contacts you. If she does, then don;t spend much time chatting with her. Talk briefly, ask her out for a drink or a DVD and drinks at your place and then try to have sex with her.

Finally, you need to spin more plates. If you have multiple girls that you are seeing you won't have the time to care whether a girl called you back or responded to your text. You will be too busy because you will be on a date with another girl or just having sex with another girl so you won't come across as needy, clingy or desperate because you will naturally be busy having fun and indifferent to the outcome with any one plate.

 

[VladPatton]

Yep, she lost interest. They guys above gave good advice. Always, always keep it light during the first stages of dating. There is absolutely no need for heavy talk about relationships, exes, houses to buy, marriage, or the color of your minivan when you have 4 kids in the future. That is all fantasy talk. Filler. Keep things fun, steer her away from anything of that caliber.

I agree with going ghost on her. See what happens. Stop all contact. She already gave you a büllṣhit excuse about her ''friend'' visiting and she can't make it. Next time she calls you say you're bust and you'll call her later. Don't jump at her first contact, and never be afraid to loose the girl. They don't like you? Awesome...go...there are a lot of them out there. There is nothing you can do to get a girl if they don't dig you.

It's a lesson you learned. Next time you'll do better.

 

[Greasy Pig]

You don't need a reply from her to gauge if she's still interested. As Rollo once wrote: the medium is the message.
In other words, her not responding to you is her way if showing you (passively) that she's definitely not interested.
You can try to come up with excuses (maybe she lost her phone; maybe she's been in hospital; maybe the messages didn't get through; or maybe she's rising someone else's dyck.)
Don't try to contact her again. If she has actually had a life threatening emergency or her phone got stolen, if she's interested she'll look you up and you will have something very interesting to talk about.

 

[casaanova]

I found her quite attractive from the very beginning and I was positive that I will eventually ask her out. Since we were working together, though, I didn't do anything until recently when the project was pretty much over.

Don't ever wait that long to 'tell a girl how you really feel about her' again. A month is way too long (and who knows how long it really was that you waited), because after about 3 days she's already made up her mind about what she thinks of you, whether you guys are coworkers or not. After 2 weeks of not making a move you're nexted by default, unless she's ridiculously interested in you. If you were wary about talking to her because you guys were working together, you shouldn't be sh*tting where you eat anyway.

 

[Maximus Rex]

She told me (and this is important) that she just came out of a serious relationship.....

She was on the rebound. Women are analogous to junkies in that attention is their "heroin." Just as junkies need a fix as to avoid being sick in the morning, your were her "attention fix. It sounds like you were giving her the "boyfriend treatment," a romantic evening out, your time, spending your hard earn dollars on her, and importantly your time to assuage her feelings of loneliness and feeling a complete loser for not having a man.

I listen to this dude's podcasts and this guy says with rebound chicks you have 72 hours to hit that a$$ before she gets back with her man or starts to feel remorseful because she was f*cking with you.

She also mentioned that we should do something else early next week (which is last week). I responded positively.

You sounded too eager. You probably made it sound as if you had nothing else going on in your life other than her.rl

What is kind of awkward, though, is that she suddenly stopped responding to my messages after that last message. I even called her up last night and left a message. She did not call me back. This has been very frustrating for me, specially because I do know that she's got my messages. There is no way that she hasn't got my messages.

She either got back with her boyfriend or has the d*ck in her mouth that she wants to suck.

At this point, I don't know what to do. On the one hand, I really like her and I am willing to do what it takes to be with her.

Aside from the fact that you want to see her naked, gettin' some dome, and bending her over in doggystyle, what exactly is it that you like about her? From what you wrote, you haven't spent enough time with her to "like," her. It seems to me that what you like about this chick is the image and fantasy a that you made up in your about her mind.

I do not know if she is still interested or not..... I have no way to confirm this either

Let's review:

but then she canceled on me the last minute, saying that she's got a lot of work to do...

Women make time for men their interested in.

She then added that this won't happen any soon and it takes some time. She even said that I should not push her into this.

I'm pretty fluent in ********let me translate:

I would like this to become more serious, but this WON'T HAPPEN WITH YOU and FINDING THE RIGHT GUY take time. Please don't try to push me into HAVING SEX WITH YOU.

she suddenly stopped responding to my messages after that last message.

Women by nature are non-confrontational, you should take her lack of an answer, as her answer. Believe me, if you REALLY wanted to go out with you, there would be absolutely zero doubt in your mind that she would be trying to do so.

I also don't want to keep sending her messages or keep calling her, because then I will come off clingy and needy.

For you to keep doing so will cause you to come off as the exact thing you don't want to be, clingy and needy. This is a dead lead dude. She's lost interest and has moved on, so should you.

We went for a college basketball game, had dinner

Your date lasted to long. You did **** that should be reserved only for plantonic or girlfriends.

and even talked about some serious issues.

That's what killed you. Why were you talking about "serious issues," on a first date? I guarantee to you that it doing this "deep conversation," that you said something that turned her off. Dates are like job interviews, just as H.R. people are looking for reasons to disqualify a potential candidates from a position, women are looking for reasons not to give you some a$$. On a date you're suppose to increase her sexual attraction towards you, not whether or not you support Obama intervening militarily in Syria. I'm just curious, what were the specifics of your texts with this chick in the "deep conversation," you had over dinner?

Let me first give you a quick background. I am working for a bank. Over the summer we were working with two law firms on some legal stuff. There was this girl who had recently started working in one of those firms and was assigned to work with me on the project. I found her quite attractive from the very beginning and I was positive that I will eventually ask her out. Since we were working together, though, I didn't do anything until recently when the project was pretty much over.

I know that you said you waited until the project was "pretty much over," but pretty much over," ain't "over." Don't mess with chicks you work with. I know the temptation is great due to the familiarity you gain with the object of your affections, but the potential for a cluster f*ck is too great. It's entirely to easy for a chick to cry "sexual harassment," and you finding yourself out of job. You should have got a bunch of your co-workers together at the end of the project went for drinks, invite her to come along, then closed her outside of the workplace. Hollerin' at your female co-workers is too risky in 2013, and your livelihood is far more important than a piece of a$$.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Your princess is in another castle...When a woman stops returning your calls and doesn't respond to your texts, she's got another man and has rejected you.

a high school friend of her is visiting

Nismo called it. I'm thinking the "friend" is a guy.

she just came out of a serious relationship (which from what I have heard ended more than a year ago) and she has just started working at this firm, but she still would like this to become more serious. She then added that this won't happen any soon and it takes some time. She even said that I should not push her into this.

If a woman told me that I should not push her into being serious too quickly, I would laugh in her face. And I would still be laughing about it. I think that is the moment you lost her.

 

[nismo-4]

If she has actually had a life threatening emergency or her phone got stolen, if she's interested she'll look you up and you will have something very interesting to talk about.

I'll wager a million bucks that she ain't gonna look him up or call him. Unless it's to vent about her "extra work" in Judge nismo's chambers!

And Bible, if a woman says she doesn't want to rush things, that's like her saying she wants to take it slow. It means that she has better prospects and she wants to see how they play out.

Maximus Rex broke it down big time. A date and a job interview are two very similar events.

BTW women get your messages. They see you called. Believe that.

 

[Masculinity]

Leave this girl alone, man. Ironically, contacting her more is only going to drive her away. Don't be Mikey from Swingers: Video

 

[Bible_Belt]

if a woman says she doesn't want to rush things...It means that she has better prospects

Yeah, that's what I'm laughing at.

 

[Greggie W]

yep...I wouldn't worry too much about this girl. Blow her off.

Do you think if Bradley Cooper walked in the office and asked her out she would have to "take some time"? LOL...no.

Move on...too many other women to find and/or flirt with.