need to vent and possibly get some advice

[djbegin]

Need some advice. also need to vent a little

(background:
met a girl at a class that i was taking. second class meeting she asked me to take her home since we lived right beside each other and she basically picked me up on the way home asking if i wanted to get something to eat. though i did find out that she had met some other guy a week or so before and they had a crush on each other, but it was over)

i dated this girl for about 6 weeks and it started out great, i thought i had turned the corner on my "chump" ways until about the third week. at this point we started hanging out nonstop and she was starting to get *****y and i called her on it but not enough (these were my major setbacks that doomed what we had).
well since then she has wanted to end things saying that we are nothing alike and crap like that. this happened about 3 times but we got back together everytime. last week we broke up for what i thought was the final time but i sent her flowers a few days later and again we patched things up and things were going better. hungout this past weekend and everything was fine.
last nite i drop by to say hello(possibly a booty call) and she tells me she needs some alone time ie..single cause she says she is drifting and needs to find herself. well i get to the bottom of it and i know that when we broke up last week she called up her crush and now she is back to liking him.

i "think" she still has feelings for me because i don't think she would be willing to come back everytime. is there anyway to salvage things or has anyone ever turned this kind of situation around. i just have this wierd feeling that we'll date again, but don't know how to get to that.

thanks for any info and to listen to me vent

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

girls often have back ups, you know, more then 1 choice and they choose who they like most, well make your slef the guy she likes most its as simple as that, get her intrested. read the DJ bible and or quicktips on the main wbesite for information on how to get her to like you more

hope iv been a help

 

[CLOONEY]

Her Interest Level is low and only dropping. You are a total AFC. Back off, live your life, this girl doenst really like you, you are just around until she finds something better. Time to learn the game, get out there and meet numerous girls, this girl aint worth your time and effort!

Sorry to put it so bluntly but this is the truth!

 

[djbegin]

yea i know that her interest level is low right now, i know that before we were going to break up because of my chump antics which i have tried to change a little, but i "think" that this time she is sees this guy as more of a challenge right now(think that i could have saved the situation by changing my ways if this guy wasn't mucking up things). that's why i think that the situation could be turned around. i know to back off, but i'm not sure what else if anything to do to raise her interest level or make myself a challenge (because this guy across the country already is a challenge cause he is not here, so i'm not sure if i can even compete with that). any specific reads in the bible or tips page.
anyone ever come across something similar?

thanks agian for the help.

 

[check_mate_kid_uk]

wow CLOONEY you must be good at this, how can you tell if the intrest level is high or low with so litlte information given about it.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by djbegin
yea i know that her interest level is low right now, i know that before we were going to break up because of my chump antics which i have tried to change a little, but i "think" that this time she is sees this guy as more of a challenge right now(think that i could have saved the situation by changing my ways if this guy wasn't mucking up things). that's why i think that the situation could be turned around. i know to back off, but i'm not sure what else if anything to do to raise her interest level or make myself a challenge (because this guy across the country already is a challenge cause he is not here, so i'm not sure if i can even compete with that). any specific reads in the bible or tips page.
anyone ever come across something similar?

thanks agian for the help.

U seem to be understanding the situation and the dymaics very well. Exactly my thoughts. What u can do to raise her interest level? The ONLY thing you can do is totally back off and TRULY live your life again. Not pretend to live it, or hope that if you try and live it for a while she will come back. But REALLY live it and move on. She will see you dont need her anymore and COULD come back to you. HOWEVER, you dont need her. Her interest level is so low that I dont see much chance at all it will rise again. The chemistry is obviously just not there from her side and your chump antics didnt help.

You are young (from what I can gather), time to find many more girls who have higher interest and then u can work it even more! Once the interest gets too low, there is no going back.

check, lol, r u serious? It is obvious, if you dont understand I can explain the logic behind it.......

 

[djbegin]

how should i approach it if she does try to contact me or whatever.

 

[CLOONEY]

Originally posted by djbegin
how should i approach it if she does try to contact me or whatever.

Mid 20s is still very young, although I would have guessed early 20s.

Delete her number and dont answer unregistered calls. If she calls u on the house phone and u answer, say whats up? I am busy right now, talk to u later and dont call her back.

Point is, u need to move on. And no contact is the easiest way for this to happen. I dont want to see you develop oneitis, thats if its not already too late.

If u want to give it another shot, dont answer her calls for a month or so, then after some time when u talk to her again say whats up, and let her get onto asking you out onto a date. Just string her along. Make a little time for her here and there, flirt with her, just get back to the fun things (this will hopefully anchor her into associating you to fun). String her along some more, act aloof, and MAYBE JUST MAYBE she will fall for you. However, I would move on, she is not worth the time and effort for such minimal chances of success. There are SO MANY beautiful and great woman out there!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

"i "think" she still has feelings for me because i don't think she would be willing to come back everytime."

She feels sorry for you! Quit supplicating!!

Do you really think that a woman who has "feelings" for a man would be "On and off" 3 times in a so-called relationship in a few weeks of meeting him??

WAKE UP - "The Matrix" has you!!!!

 

[Befuddled]

Originally posted by CLOONEY

Point is, u need to move on.

Easier said than done. But i definaely agree with it. dont just try and forget about this girl... from what i gather...shes a lost cause. She has found someone else......would you even consider having anything with her after that ? there are better ones out there and you know you deserve better.

Move along.

 

[djbegin]

chick finally emails me and says " hey, how are you doing?"

been getting other girls numbers and stuff, but how should i respond to this girl now (obviously funny and somethin short). want to try and work it so i can still hook it up on the side. thanks