Need to ljbf my first gf (i still want to be friends with her)

[MattB]

WEll is quite ironic really
I have always wanted a gf, wanted someone for hug and kisses and ....

but ever since i started the relationship with my gf 3 weeks ago, i realized i didnt like it one bit

i dont lik the constraint placed on me
i dontl like the way she wants me to see her everyday, and that if i dont, i will feel guilty about hurting her feelings

worse of all, i have lost my attraction for her
why?
i dont know
shes still a 7.5, but i dont like her anymore...

most of u guys would say next right? well, problem is, she is really nice to me. just two days ago she orgained a bunch of our mutual friends and threw me a suprise bday party

i dont really have the heart to tell her i want to breakup
so what can I do?

 

[bp1974]

What is it that she's doing that has made you lose attraction for her? She sounds like a bit of a 'Nice Girl'. Is she too clingy? Insecure?

You were attracted to her at some time, right, so take some time to work out what it is that has put you off now. Maybe it's just you - maybe you preferred the chase and now you're bored. If that's the case, you should break it off with her. If it's some behaviour of hers, maybe you don't need to next her just yet. So put a little thought and effort into thinking about what it is you don't like. Are you having sex?

bp1974

 

[Tano]

.

(i still want to be friends with her)

Why?

i dontl like the way she wants me to see her everyday, and that if i dont, i will feel guilty about hurting her feelings

See how u lost the attraction for her because she came off as needy and insecure.

Whats wrong with you? You know if the situation was the other way around she would dump your ass in a second.

There is only 2 types of women i keep around me. Fuk Buddies and pivots, if i wanna friend ill go buy a friggin dog to keep me company.

Finally, why is she really nice to you? cos she still has feelings for you and its only going to get worse as time progresses. You are going to end up making the situation worse for the both of you.

But its your friend so its your call.

 

[dionysius_d]

I hate being the instrument of pain, but sometimes you just gotta be true to yourself.


Tano, what is a 'pivot' ?? lol

 

[Tano]

A pivot is a chick who you keep around just for the sole person of getting with her friends, or a friend that helps you pick up other chicks.

These chicks who won't lay you but still want to see you, for this purpose. Basically, this works because most chicks will find you more attractive and jealous when you are already with a chick.

 

[MattB]

Yeah
and she kinda get jealous easily too
like if i told her i was with this girl today she would be like are you trying to date her or what not



i think i really enjoyed the chase, but now the excitement is over

(btw we havent had sex, so i guess is a good thing cus then i wont be seen as a playa)

 

[MattB]

bump any more advice on this would be greatly apperciated

 

[TesuqueRed]

Ok-Ok-Ok!!! I wanna a GIRLFRIEND!!! Whoah!

3 weeks go by...

Ok-Ok-Ok!!! I don' want one anymore!

Nothing but extremes here. And there's something to that, though, don't dismiss the idea too quickly. I've been there--where all you can see is she either IS a GF or she ISN'T a GF. It took a little while to get idea through my head that you can and should have an extended period of no-committment "dating".

Try that if you haven't already. I suspect you haven't, otherwise you would've noticed yourself losing attraction before you even allowed her to become your GF.

Oh, and it being as you revealed that the moment you declared yourselves as lawfully hip-attached BF and GF you are immediately into an obligatory "you must be with me everyday or pay the guilt-blood price..." thing---this tells me you're a) young and b) doing it according to the rules like you think all GF/BF hip-attached pairings are like---right?

The problem probably isn't her. It's how you set up this claustrophobic relationship in the first place. She's probably feeling just as stressed as you are.

Before dumping her---

You DON'T have to see her every freakin' day.

You SHOULDN'T see her every freakin' day.

You should take this "dating" thing (where you date others, and so can she) out a bit longer. Sounds like she landed you--that is, got you to commit--pretty early. Play it out longer next time, Ok?

Like--ease into it. This relationship probably won't last, but it isn't her--you both just set it up badly.

 

[MattB]

she said she is feeling lots of stress too
so tomorrow
we are going to "sort things out"

it was her who suggested that we see each other really often, being a challenge and a geiunely busy person, I dont have the time to do so.

last time that i didnt see her, I phoned her and asked whats she doing .
she said nothing
and it sorts of make me feel guilty to hear that

thats why i dont want to end the relationship asap