Need to learn more about the "power to ignore"...

[Fadero]

I really want to read more about how ignoring and cutting off a girlfriend when she plays games works. I'm currently trying to stay strong and hold out from giving into calling during a time of crisis.

Can any of you give me some links to good reading and lessons on as to why ignoring them gives us back our power? I really need some enlightenment with that topic. Thanks DJ's.

 

[K56Connect]

I hope your not referring to this dopey power outtage as a "time of crisis."

 

[Juan_Man]

I would also like to learn more about this. And how do you do this without coming off bitter?

 

[KiInCollege]

Fadero, you were brief. Well, I will offer some general notes about the Ignore Card in the game:

1. In ignoring, don't vocalize everything.

Naturally, your mind is thinking about the "crisis" or fight. Thinking about it is okay, getting emotions in your head is okay, but do not act on emotion and speak/whine about it. It's okay for the girl to do this, but men should control themselves. We all get emotional. Men are just trained to hide it better, except pansy-men.

2. The basic premise you are trying to follow is Challenge.

Reading articles about challenge as well will probably help. Your action is telling her that this conflict is trivial. Her games are not amusing - they are annoying and you are letting her know in a subtle way by ignoring her and sleeping with other women. Okay, maybe not that last part.

3. Don't be bitter about games.

Games are all part of the dating/mating ritual. It seperates the DJs from the AFCs. Play the game in the smartest way possible to turn the game to your advantage. Internalize the problem by focusing on what you can do, never how the situation "sucks" or that you have "bad luck."

4. The phone is a tool to make dates.

The is a basic rule worth repeating because you mentioned "calling." You know the rule is no longer than 10 minutes. Don't ever tackle serious issues over the phone. Schedule a date and let your body language and smile work for you. This way you can also reduce what you Say and shift things more toward intimate/sexual nonverbal communication.

 

[Fadero]

I know there are postings that pertain to ignoring a girl until she comes calling you first. I'm going through a fight with her where I was fed up with her bullsh*t and just ended up leaving her house and walking out. I haven't heard from her in like 3 days, but sometimes feel the weakness to cave in and call.

Yes, and what Juan_Man said too..how do you do this without coming off as bitter?

 

[ryoshi]

Originally posted by Fadero
I really want to read more about how ignoring and cutting off a girlfriend when she plays games works.

Talking to other girls is very important. Try and get as many numbers as possible and see all of them casually.

I'm trying to do that now more. In fact, if you get enough numbers, you'll ignore them without noticing it. In fact, there's a few that I need to call that I keep putting off. Never thought I'd be saying that!

 

[86]

Fadero, I know exactly what you're going thru, trust me....check out my 'f'd in the head' thread for some good info. most of it boils down to the fact that if you haven't heard from her, she either will never contact you or is waiting for you to cave in and contact her first. it sounds like you feel strongly and that you are in the right in this situation, and you have said 'enough' - all I can recommend to you is to stand your ground and let her decide what her deal is, and meanwhile get on with your life.

if you had feelings for her, I know it is hard, TRUST ME WE ALL KNOW, it sucks monkey balls.

today I have a REALLY strong inclanation to confront the girl who is f*cking with me...a feeling that comes and goes in waves, but that desire is slowly, slowly, slooooowly ebbing away. it's a hard struggle to suppress what you really, really want to do, but are in too emotional of a state to see that in actuality that what you want to do would not help your situation out in the least bit.

give it time.

 

[Starman]

Look within yourself..how does it feel like to be ignored? you feel worthless, uncared for, small, humiliated, angry, etc etc

your girl is most likely feeling the same emotions

The Key to ignoring is to NOT make a BIG GAME out of it to see who wins and finally caves in

Like the guys suggested..change your focus..stop focusing on one girl (no matter how hard it is) and begin making connections and bonds with other girls..EVEN if you get no where..the fact that you are trying will distract you from the girl you are trying to ignore..

Making a conscious effort to ignore isnt really ignoring..and its mentally taxing..you have to really refocus..do other things..and the ignoring will come so natural..that you wont even remember her name in a few weeks