Need some ****y / funny lines for..........

[uly55]

Guys I need some ****y / funny lines for when I'm at Work.I work in a supermarket part time and have heaps of hot chicks going thru my register! I seem to be alright at the ****y / funny when I know them a little more, just not when I first meet them.

Also some lines that won't get me fired

Any idea's............

Uly

 

[Kaizen]

Not to sound mean.... but you work a cash register at a supermarket... why would you want to hit on girls when you're at work?

Well... at least your not the bagger.

 

[Mr. Latte]

"My mom doesn't buy this many condoms, and she's a *****. I'm not kidding either, a real life *****!"

OK, so it's not C&F, but I want an entertaining tale of you getting slapped up at work for me to read

 

[Microphone Fiend]

lol, here's some I just thought of


You:*Looking girl up and down* Hmmmm
Girl: What are you doing?
You; This is the check out line you know *wink*



You: There's a special on today, buy two sodas (or whatever she has) and you get a free date with me



You: Did you just come from the meat department cuz it looks like someone just stuffed to hamhocks down your pants (The Ladies Man, lol)



You: (If someone comes with a cheque) I'm sorry this is a "cash register" if you have a cheque, the cheque register is over there.



You: (After you ring up their groceries, leave a digit out of the total price, Ie: when it's $112.00) Ok that'll be $12.00, uh... wait no, I mean missing a number, can I have yours?

You get the idea, just be creative

 

[Tryin to Grow a Chin]

I'm getting pretty tired of people asking for ****y and funny lines. It's not something that you're supposed to pre-package and recite; it's an attitude you incorporate into your personality.

Once you have done that, it comes naturally and there is no reason to ask for pre-fabricated lines.

 

[pootwo]

hey, stop moaning. Everyone needs some examples of C&F now & then to give them ideas.

& Microphone Fiend, lovin your work man!

 

[b's nuts]

im bagging your groceries right now, but maybe i could bag you later?

its probably not a good idea to drop one liners on the customers, you are going to get your ass fired.

 

[So pimp its scary]

**DO NOT USE C&F AS LINES**

Anytime you use a line, if it sounds even remotely canned will get you worse off then if you had said nothing. So, the best advice is to take the canned lines that you learned to get an idea of how c&f really works, and then adjust it for yourself.

Best advice I could give on the subject.

 

[white_hype]

say: hold it right there missy

(get on the mic, where the whole store can hear)
into the mic "steve could you come down here, we gotta shop lifter"
this chick has stolen a thanksgiving day turker

(point at her stomach)

(then you take a closer look and poke her in her pouch)

then back on the mic say: "nevermind steve, she was just a really fat chick"


i love you family guy

 

[uly55]

Thanks guys for your replies and advice!!

Kaizen - well I wrote this post because of what happend that day while I was working.I spotted a hot chick as she enter our store, she noticed me too (I didn't loose eye contact) then she looked back at me as she got further into our store. I got a good positve feeling she would come thru my checkout.....which happened.I said the usual stuff we have to say.Then there was that deafening silence where no one said anything. She initiated more conversation.I continued working and laughing and jokeing (trying to be funny) with her.Then more silence and another repeat of the above sentence.

I gave her back her change. which she dropped (she looked nervous) we said goodbyes and I watched her walk out of my life. I think she had a high interest level in me. So I was wondering if i used some ****y / funny lines and had more confidence, maybe I could have worked to getting her number. So what do I do in situations like that?

Mr. Latte - i'll see what I can do for u mate lol

Microphone Fiend - Thanks mate just what I was looking for!!!

Tryin to Grow a Chin - your absolutely right! djing is a way of life. I'm ok with doing the ****y / funny with chicks I know or have a bit of kowledge to use on them. Just not chicks I have just met! I don't intend to learn and use these examples word for word. Just need some idea's to get me started!

pootwo - thanks

b's nuts - yeah you're probably right.My boss has caught me Djing(well trying too) hot chicky customers before, aslong as I don't go over the top and they complain. I really don't know if I should dj chicks while I work, but at the moment.....work is my best oppertunity for djing.

So pimp its scary - I agree mate

white_hype - That will get my a$$ fired lol

Thanks again for the advice guys!!

Uly

 

[Walden]

Originally posted by Microphone Fiend
lol, here's some I just thought of


You:*Looking girl up and down* Hmmmm
Girl: What are you doing?
You; This is the check out line you know *wink*

LOL Mic fiend , goddammit now I gotta go put on fresh underwear.

 

[Kaizen]

All right, STUD!!! You got some action! The reason why I commented and said what I said before was because I saw that working as a cashier at a super market could have been a turn off.... maybe I'm wrong, but thats just my opinion. Now if you're getting some action, and you know shes interested, then thats different. I was pictureing a cashier in a tacky uniform with a name tag hitting on a girl that wasnt interested... trying to spark something out of nothing. But if this girl was interested, you should have acted like the man! Like you have a foot long d!ck, and god's gift to women! You should have flirted with her, and flatter her in a way that no one has ever done before. How do I do it? The most important thing is "mind set". I cant emphasize that enough. Mindset mindset mindset! You want to be thinking to a point that its natural..... "Girl, I'm sure you hear compliments all the time... but to get a compliment from me!!!!.... you are one lucky girl! For a guy like me to give up my valuable time to compliment you and flirt with you... you are one lucky girl." That should be your "****y" mindset. With that in mind, play around with her and be funny. See how much you can make her blush. I dont now how successful it would be for you, but it works wonders for me, and I've been doing it for years.

 

[Ser_i]

Originally posted by b's nuts


its probably not a good idea to drop one liners on the customers, you are going to get your ass fired.

soooo totaly true! *glares at former employer


I hit on the girl at the cantina... and the rest of the guys didn't realy appreciate it.. so they started complaining for me creating a hostile working atmosphere with my behaviour.. lol jealousy

(yeah got the girl, though she had a boyfriend and then they broke up and stuff and he came after me while I was with another girl) what can I say ? Don Juan For Real

 

[squirrels]

Instead of "paper or plastic", say "latex or lambskin?"

Then if she freaks, pretend it was a Freudian slip. LOL

 

[Kaizen]

Originally posted by squirrels
Instead of "paper or plastic", say "latex or lambskin?"

Then if she freaks, pretend it was a Freudian slip. LOL

or stupid