Need some sound advice regarding LTR

[johnfjr]

help me out here

Im in an LTR, and currently she is on vacation for two months. Things were damn good between us. I posted before that she has mentioned wanting to marry me and living in with me, etc. Her interest level seems high. It's a year long LTR now and she has left to visit her families country (her family just left as well) for a month now and I happen to be stuck without any a$$ for two months (she's coming back the end of july). She has'nt really called that much since she left and I pointed it out to her and she told me you never asked for MY number to call ME. So I just told her whatever, and she ended up calling me the next day telling me her number. I don't understand why she doesn't atleast call a few times a week (even once a week!) to let me know what's up. It makes me feel like she might be seeing someone else there. What I'm asking is, what should I do? Should I trust that she is being faithful and forget the phone calls and just deal with her when she comes back, or should I be concerned? I thought that she would contact me frequently, cuz thats the impression she gave me but I was in for a shock. It's been one month and i've gotten less than 5 calls so far. I talk to her online sometimes, where she tells me "i love you"...but its hard for me to respond so i dont say it back. How can she love me when she doesn't even let me know how shes doing or want to communicate with me?

 

[johnfjr]

bump

 

[johnfjr]

any help??

 

[frivolousz21]

LOl

honestly probably none of us here have been in this situation


but u might find someone !

 

[bdr23]

if i were you i would just back off and act like you don't give a sh*t. It seems your dependent on her to some extent. you should have something that she wants from you and if you take that certain thing away she will be all over you. Hold yourself back and when you talk to her dont let her know that it is bugging you. If a girl wants to talk to you they will if they dont then they wont. If they start sniffing out neediness they well beat you up and make you feel like sh*t. No lady is perfect they all pull some scandalous stuff once in a while atleast. Have you ever thought that maybe she needed a break from you? Thats what it looks like. Give her space let her enjoy her time then when she gets back talk to her a little bit. Its different when you are not physically with each other all the time compared to when you are just talking on the phone.

 

[italostud]

She barely calls you because she doesn't care/is forgetting you. She's probably also busy with family stuff. She's probably also hooking up with other guys and fycking/sucking/ whatever.

Of course I could be wrong.

 

[Kaine]

I have been in this situation before.

BDR23 is pretty much right on the money with his reply

EXCEPT the "I don't give a ****" attitude must be communicated INDIRECTLY. This is done by you telling her how much fun you are having at the moment and that her been away hasn't paralysed your life and turned you into a lovestarved wussbag.

She will do what she does, I think 5 times a month is fine. She is STILL calling you.

Do not let other people like Italostud feed your paranoia. Give her the benefit of the doubt. She will do what she wants to do. You been pushy will make her want to call you even less and drive down attraction. Be laid back. Let her worry about you.


Get it?

Kaine

 

[diablo]

If she's on vacation, odds are that the days are flying by for her. However, 2 months is a bit longer than the general 1-2 week vacations taken by most people.. and if it's in the same spot, chances are that she is meeting other people. In fact, I can guarantee that she's made friends with others in her location. If this means that she's involved in a relationship of sorts with someone else is something that nobody on here is qualified to answer... my best assumption would be that she does have another person who she's spending time with... whether it's platonic or not I don't know. If someone truly cares about another, they'll make an effort to communicate with that person - whether it's by purchasing phone cards, using AIM, or anything else. Sounds to me like you need to get some options for yourself - better to be prepared for her telling you "you're so nice, but... by having a girl or two lined up for that eventuality. If she doesn't tell you that, and things go back to normal you can ditch the girls you've been working on. If she does, well you're ready for it. Voice of experience.