need some opinions on g/f

[hydrocodone]

ive been dateing my g/f for about 2 months now.its been going pretty good so far but theres one thing ive been wondering about.im really not the jealous clingy type,but sometimes i think im a little too "passive" or non-jealous towards her if thats even possible.i know she gives me these little tests mentioning guy friends and hanging out with them & whatever(i know they are tests) to see how ill react.i just tell her thats fine do have a good time and that i trust her,im very confidant and secure with the relationship.Anyway my question is do women want you to be at least a little bit concerned or jealous about her?just to reassure her and show that you really care about her or whatever? i really do like her alot ,im just thinking i might be a little too passive.

 

[Remulak]

I have the same problem, I have a very laid back indifferent attitude about everything so I hardly show jealousy but I sometimes wonder if it's detrimental. Show her that you like her by your actions, be a fun person to be around but when it comes to jealousy keep it to yourself. Jealousy is a sign of insecurity to girls. If she wants to meet up with a guy friend, let her do it, she'll wonder why you aren't flipping out which will increase her interest tenfold and she probably won't end up going. Trying to control her in anyway will cause her to resent you. I know it's hard but be strong, if she does happen to meet someone else and leaves you be confident you'll find someone better. Good Luck.

 

[Chemistry]

Depends on the woman...

But generally, women do like us to show a little concern... you know, like you do actually value them... it's a catch 22 though because too much attention results in the opposite effect, lol... it's a fine balance caused mostly by women not knowing what it is they want…

I get by fine showing some, but I’m a little selfish so I find that counterbalances it because I’ll be quite dominant in running the ship and getting my own way with the things. Plus I hang out with copious amounts of beautiful female friends that guys swoon over since they tend to work as air hostesses or in the beauty industry, so there’s always an element of suspicion when my current chick meets them which is good because it keeps her in check, lol...

 

[Remulak]

I disagree with you, let her know you don't like what she's doing i.e hanging out with guy friends by letting her know it's disrespectful but NEVER force her to do anything or make an ultimatum.

Depends on the woman...

But generally, women do like us to show a little concern... you know, like you do actually value them...

You show her that you value her BY YOUR ACTIONS not by being a jealous pyssy bytch. You need the mindset "Baby I like you and want to be there for you but if you leave me have a nice life."

 

[Chemistry]

I’d be a hypocrite because I hang out with chicks all the time. I’m not disrespecting her, and I’d have to be insecure if I felt my chick was disrespecting me.

Sure if she hung out solely with guys I’d tell her to get some girl friends, but generally if a girl has too many guy friends then I have no interest in her in the first instance because it communicates ‘attention *****’ or that she has some other kinda social defect. However, if she’s made one or two good friends through life, maybe through her studies as I did at University, and they just happen to be male, then I don’t see an issue.

 

[Chemistry]

You show her that you value her BY YOUR ACTIONS not by being a jealous pyssy bytch. You need the mindset "Baby I like you and want to be there for you but if you leave me have a nice life."

Yes... who said anything about being jealous?

You need to have the mindset you mentioned, but honestly don't go spouting that line to your chick because its just the wrong approach especially if you're past the opening stage of events with her... if you're with a girl more officially, say you've gone exclusive, then you've got show something in moderation, and [very] occasionally

 

[Remulak]

I wouldn't say that to my girl because yes it looks like you're trying too hard and being insecure but I said it's a mindset not a statement to say to your girl. You said "show a little concern", could you elaborate on this.

 

[hydrocodone]

yeah thats what i need to know, what and how much "concern" to show without coming across as insecure/jealous

 

[hydrocodone]

also i do have that mindset already, i just dont wanna make it seem like i dont give a **** what she does and maybe take advantage of that in a way. i might need to ask a couple female friends about this though.

 

[Remulak]

However, if she’s made one or two good friends through life, maybe through her studies as I did at University, and they just happen to be male, then I don’t see an issue.

I agree 100%, I was talking more in terms of guys she just met who're trying to get in her pants.

 

[Chemistry]

Girls are shrewd… a guy isn’t going to get into their pants if they don’t want them to, and if a girl’s hooked up with a guy then she’ll most likely loyal if you’re offering good product… chicks can be smart, they know if a guy is just trying to get into their pants – your job is to make sure she doesn’t have reason to look elsewhere…

A little concern… I know it’s broad, and it’s difficult to define because every girl is different. An example of some things I’ve implemented in the past would be raising a plan to do something on the said day, i.e. she brings up that she’s going to meet someone she’d loosely term a ‘friend’, and you tell her that since you’ve got a free night you wanted to do something… you’re just making sure that both of you know where priorities lie. I’m not talking best friends, but when it’s someone you’d loosely term a friend, then plans with them can be chopped and changed always. But generally actions are best to communicate your concern, it’s about spending quality time together and enjoying it rather than just doing it for the sake of it; the flipside of that is that I’ve dated girls who said that wasn’t enough and they wanted to hear something. I didn’t see their point, but you’ll learn that those kind of girls are so AFC in their ways that there’s no danger of them seeking out **** elsewhere. You could treat them as badly as you wanted and they’ll still come running back for more, not that I really condone that kinda behaviour, lol.

 

[DJHoolahoop]

depending on how early it is in the relationship and how long you two have been dating, i'd say tell her in a respectful way of you and her. essentially she can do whatever she wants because its her life, BUT that doesn't mean you have to be kept in the dark about it. i end up hearing about guy friends and potential bfs from this girl i'm currently pulling all the time. i mean its not official between us yet so that's her business, but that's why i asked her whether she was simply interested in checking out options or if she would start dating each other exclusively.

i was as clear as possible about honesty and how i wouldn't overreact or act like an idiot, would she say that she was going to date other guys until she found which one she wanted to end up with. i said that it would be better for us both if she would be honest about it because its not such a big deal and it would save miscommunication and BS down the road. she agreed and said she'd make it exclusive between us, so i said alright that's all i needed to know and told her to enjoy her night.

this girl is very good looking in my books, at least an 8 so her getting attention from guys won't stop anytime soon. but i know that if i'm a jack@ss or let it affect me then i know i'll fail the tests, and be another one of the clowns she has to ignore. i'm not even worried about it though, its not even like i'm just trying to hide the fact, if she decides to go for another guy well then that's fine cuz there's a new girl right around the corner.

understand that what is important here is your respect and honesty about where you two stand. not necessarily asking if you can trust them, but asking them to be completely honest with you as a means of escaping BS and what not down the line. at least this has been working for me so far and its nothing short from the complete truth too. it must throw her off as she gets so many guys hitting on her and trying to get with her all the time.

 

[DonJuanByNature]

im just thinking i might be a little too passive.

Firs of all, you have to realize there is no such thing as a "jelous" man... i.e. a man wont be jelous unless a woman gives him reasons to be jelous... keep in mind people get jelous for differnet things, and if she making you jelous, its not good (not healthy)..

for you.. be yourself man

your not passive

i.e.. if your not jelous, your not jelous.. good for you.... enjoy the relatioship
whats your problem??? jeezes

just dont forget to mentally abuse her here and there ..i.e. have some fun with it... call her a clown or something....

 

[mrRuckus]

I have the same problem, I have a very laid back indifferent attitude about everything so I hardly show jealousy but I sometimes wonder if it's detrimental.

It is detrimental. I just don't have too much concern about most things because logically i think they're inconsequential and not worth the effort. But women don't give a damn about logic so they will assume you hate them and whine and cry because you don't get all worked up about dumb things that won't matter an hour from now.