Need some insight? FR: Internet date

[ManOMan]

I have been talking to this girl via an online site, she saw pics of me, and always called me "sexy" , "babe" etc

after 1 month of phone tag, I finally met her tonite

we decided to go get sangria's at this spanish restaurant..she was 30 mins late..so she called the bar and told the hostess to track me down and tell me she is on her way

in the meantime,I went over to the hostess ( a cute 6) and told her Im meeting a blind date, she was very warm , receptive, and even asked "do you want me to come over and make her jealous when she shows up?"

well..when she showed up..i said "Ohhh You are soo dead!!"

I went for the hug and kiss hello

She was GORGEOUS, way above my league, I dont even know why she is single

The whole time I tried to act DJ..I didnt let her know her looks phased me I disagreed with her on certain issues, and kept bustin c/f on her, I even tried asked if she "needed money" when the bill came ..she just said "ya half is cool"

I noticed I kept asking more questions about her than she was me

then at the end of the night (the bar was closing) she said "Im getting tired..and this place is closing"

so I said "Yea well lets get outta here"

I walked her to her car and she said "well it was nice meeting you!"

then SHE initiated a hug goodbye..and we left

over all I felt a low IL level, can sum1 tell me some insight on what I may have done wrong?

or how I should follow up in contacting her?

 

[confus4ever]

i hate to say my opinion, but it sounds like the date did not go so good. Maybe you should have offered to pay the bill and just keep cool. Sometimes listening to all this advice on this site can confuse a person. Call her..try again

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

NEXT, NEXT, NEXT!!!! You read her correctly. Don't try to force something that isn't there. It didn't sound like you connected with her either. No worries, there are plenty of other HBs in the world. You did just fine in how you handled the evening.

By the way, did you #close the waitress? You can never have too many 'friends' .

 

[ManOMan]

well,

the good thing is, Im not all hung up on her and just wanted to go on a date to get back in the swing of things (havent been on a date in like 1 year!), the bad thing is she was hot as hell

I was going to # close on the waitress, she was even talking to me about speed dating, but I thought it would be kinda creepy to ask for her # while Im waiting for a date

One thing that did strike me as weird is that when the hottie called the restaurant, some GUY who I never even talked to Told her "Yea! He is here! he is a VERRRY nice guy! very well dressed"

she brought this up twice in the evening, so I counteracted and just said "Did he also say I was devastatingly handsome, witty and charming?"

she just gave a slight forced laugh

I always feel like Im going to be lonely forever after dates like this

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ManOMan

I always feel like Im going to be lonely forever after dates like this

You will be lonely until you start meeting people who is mutually interested in you. Unless you start meeting more women it will be a difficult thing to do.

Go back to the restaurant and try to get a table in the same area that your waitress worked. If she's working that day she will either serve you or at least notice that you are there again.

If she serves you, be open and friendly with her as if she was an old friend. If necessary, briefly refresh her about why you were there last. NO DETAILS THOUGH. When she asks for details just tell her that you had "creative differences" again leaving it at that. Then ask her what time she gets off and tell her that you treat her to a cup of coffee because you are in a good mood and wanted to thank her for offering to help.

If she doesn't serve you, ask the host/hostess about her. If she's there ask to speak with her. Introduce yourself an refresh her memory if necessary. Then tell her that you are in a good mood and wants to share that with someone entertaining instead of a flake. Then ask her what time she gets off because you are going to treat her to a cup of coffee and good conversation since she was kind enough to offer her help.

 

[ManOMan]

Thanks Franscisco,

I was just bummed last night about the date. Im OK today. I really wanted to go in there and try out some of these DJ techniques.

But she was very boring and wasn't responsive to my c/f, jokes, conversation, kino, or asking her questions

I might go back and talk to the waitress, good idea.

I just wish I would have bailed before SHE had a chance to call it a night.

 

[Crotch Sniffer]

You shoulda gotten the waitresses´digits in front of her. Women love a man who is a hot commodity. You think its creepy but its actually attractive!

go figure

 

[ManOMan]

now this is one question I have, I was having a terribly hard time getting this girl to talk about herself

SO I got bored and started telling her about how I was at a club last night, and some random girl just came up to me and kissed me (true story)

I also told her about how the waitress asked me if "she should come by later to make my date jealous"

I know this might have hurt my game, but I was trying to subtly brag about social proof

do you guys think this sort of bragging is counterproductive when trying to mack a girl?

 

[Crotch Sniffer]

Yeah, you were qualifying yourself to her and cam eoff like a lame ass. You have to reverse this mentality and get her to qualify herself to you. et her know that looks aren´t everything...Here is one of my favorites, (courtesy of Swingcat)

"So, aside from being decent looking, what else have you got going for you? I am very picky you know. Are you rich? adventurous? etc etc

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by ManOMan
I also told her about how the waitress asked me if "she should come by later to make my date jealous"

I know this might have hurt my game, but I was trying to subtly brag about social proof

do you guys think this sort of bragging is counterproductive when trying to mack a girl?

An unwritten truth of being a DJ is that women will know you are one without you having to tell her. DJs have nothing to prove because our actions say enough on their own.

Crotch Sniffer's reference to Swingcat's line is perfect to start having the woman perform for you. If after that question she is still a stick in the mud, you could excuse yourself without feeling guilty. If she asks just tell her that it's easier to have a conversation when both people are interested.

Don't sweat not being the first to leave. Just call it a learning experience.