Need some help.

[Grimple]

I don't understand this girl. Please, I'm looking for some serious input and advice. This is kind of a touchy subject for me lately.

There's this girl that liked me, and naturally I started liking her. Flirting everyday. I messed around with her a lot. Had her in the palms of my hands basically. I was like in complete control. I only liked her a little bit. I could of dropped it and left it at any moment during that time. That's probably why I had so much power. I always try and keep my distance and not get too emotionally attached because I've been hurt a lot in the past (I'm sure everyone on this site has already one experience of this.. probably why we're here right?) anytime. After awhile it just got harder and harder to keep the emotions controled. She still like me and flirted with me, everything was great, the only thing different was that I had feelings for her now.

Anyway, I realized what was happening fast. So naturally I became more of a ****, and standoff-ish. But at the same time I was extremely touchy and flirty. I was kind of unpredictable during the time. And she said we kind of had a "love-hate" relationship. Anyway, I think because of this I've messed things up. Like I mess with her so much (just joking/flirting) that she is afraid of rejection, and in turn rejects me. I asked her out, and she told me no. I could tell she was joking, and I think she wanted me to ask her again, and make it more "proper". When I said it, it was more like a command, but I wasn't about to ask her twice, **** that. All the while still flirting with me. I would sometimes avoid her, and she would still follow me. She then brings up the dance. I assume it's a hint she wants to go with me. I tell "I'm going with you." she then proceeds to say "Why would I want to go with you?". Again, pretty sure she was joking. Then of course, afterwards she was all up on my ****. Even making sexual inuendos etc.. she does it like everyday. Sits in my lap in ****. So I'm pretty ****ing irrated by now. But this **** still keeps on. I sit down, and she will sit next to me, and try to hold on my hand, or rest her head on me. Okay, so it's friday. She asks me if I'm going to miss her this weekend. I said "no." she asks why. and I told her "because we're going to hang out this weekend. give me your #." she then gets all weird about it, and then in the end doesn't give it to me. This **** is pissing me off. This girl acts like she wants a relationship even told me "We should get married" heh, then as soon as I take a step foreward, she shuts me out. What is this girls deal? I've been feeling pretty crappy about this lately, because she makes me feel insecure and bad about myself. This chick will make sex related hints, and sometimes play along with mine, then other times, she rolls her eyes and acts like "it will never happen". At first I thought this girl was just testing me, but after getting shut down 3 times. this **** is just frustrating me more than anything.

 

[yungone]

My friend i think wut happend was the table turned on you. It could be many reasons why she is doing this, it could be that she wants to get you back for all the times you treated her like ****; it could be that she is immature and all this is a game to her; it is that she is just plainly playing with your emotions for her pleasure; or it could be that she wants you to work for it harder or simply she might be talking to sumbody else. One thing I can tell you from experience is that women do not respect men who do not have a back bone. If she keeps flirting with you and shutting you down, obviously she is toying with you. If you dont really care about her that much just play along and put her in the back burner. I think what you experiencing is a situation where somebody is all into you and then you like them back and they not into you nomore. This makes you want her even more because we all want what we think we cant have. Ask yourslef this, through out all this process of having feelings for her, do you even remember why you want her bad even though u didnt care much for her in the beginning? or u just chasing her because the tables have turn..it sounds to me like she is ****ing with your ego and thats whats reallly bothering you. Hope this helped some

 

[Grimple]

I'm pretty sure she likes me. It might just be a power struggle. The other day she was acting *****y, and I was just like **** this. I don't want to deal with it anymore. (I didn't say anything, just ignored her.) And she walked out on me. I just stayed in place, and talked to another friend. Played it cool. She then comes back, and tells me she hates me and that I'm a jerk. I told her I didn't care. Then she starts playing with my hood, and I tell her not to touch me. Then she kept trying hard to be nice and then I started being nice to her again. But yeah, anytime she acts up or starts being *****y. I just say **** it, and leave. But everytime I ignore her, she keeps running back to me. Idk.. she told me she was moving too. So now I'm deffinately not going to try and persue anything. I think she is just using me for satisfaction honestly. The only time we talk is in 5th period, she just flirts with me and touches me a lot. Maybe she gets a kick out of it. It drives her ****ing nuts when I back away from her. She _is_ talking to some other guy. He's a ****ing chump, and he's a *****. There's a possibility she might like him more though. He's "nicer", she's always telling me how I should be a gentleman. I think I just might have too much of a backbone for this chick. She's probably just pissed because she can't control like her other ****ing lap dog. Oh well, **** her.

1 2 3.. over it.

 

[Jackman]

Your style is too strong and being played to the point that has coaxed her into playing the game along with you, competing with you, like a power struggle. You've created enough playful challenges that she now considers it "defeat" if she were to actually date/sleep with you.

You have to decide when to pull the plug and hold out for what you want. Just stop playing the games. Get busy doing something else. When she comes back, make her anti up. ASK her to go out with you. If she says no, get busy again. Lose interest. You have to let her know by your actions that you're done fvcking around and it's time to get what you want or you're moving on.

 

[Grimple]

So you think I played the push-pull game a bit too much? What exactly happens when someone does this? Heh.

It's hard though, because I always see her. And when she does, she follows me. She is the clingy one, not me. So I kind of have to push-pull too keep my game up. So yeah.. idk.

I've been trying to keep busy etc, but she's all I can think about lately. It sucks.

Edit: She also gets really pissed when I'm "busy" and don't give her time. I almost feel obligated to atleast _talk_ to her. What should I do if she gets butthurt about me being "busy" or not talking to her?

 

[Desdinova]

I'm surprised nobody's told you that she's an attention wh0re.

 

[Jackman]

Maybe too much, or maybe for too long, I don't really know. It's a great angle, but what happens after a while is that you can eventually go beyond establishing your confident, ****y, funny nature and you begin to actually challenge her pride instead.

It would be like me hanging with you and jokingly demand you fetch me a beer. Of course, you fire back joking that I should get YOU a beer instead. It's all just ball busting and fun every time we hang. But eventually we both become the type of guy that won't grab a beer for the other even if we are getting up and grabbing one for ourselves anyway, not because we don't want to, but because neither of us want to look like the beer b1tch. It just turns into a stubborn holdout.

This is basically the same thing. You don't have to completely ignore her or get too serious about it. You just need to give her an opening to accept your advances without her having to swallow her "dignity" in order to do it, and so long as you play this game, that's the circumstance you're creating.

Yeah, she might be an attention wh0re, but so what? Who really wants to be owned?

 

[Grimple]

Yeah, it makes sense now. I think I'm just going to play it cool. Do you think I should be nicer though? Like don't approach her, just remain "busy" but if she initiates convo with me, then just like try and be a little nicer? Not exactly being her *****, but just try not teasing her for a day or something? Maybe do a thing or two that she asks? I have a really big fear of being known as a "push-over" this used to be my main problem with woman, so it makes sense that I might have gone a little overboard with this.. heh.

 

[Jackman]

I don't advise you become nicer or start caving into her demands. You can still tease a little, you can still say ****y and funny things. I just think you should ease up on things that insinuate that she should do something because you say so. You just want to give the impression that going out with you and fvcking your brains out isn't going to lead to you doing an ego, "I own you b1tch", celebration dance.

 

[Desdinova]

Yeah, she might be an attention wh0re, but so what? Who really wants to be owned?

WTF?? Why should getting a date become a pissing contest between you and the woman you want to fvck? If she's not taking him up on a date, he should be working at landing dates with other women and TELLING HER ABOUT IT.

If this woman is truly interested in him, competition will smarten her ass up and go out with him. Even if she misses out on dating him, so what? He comes out of this whole thing with a woman to date.

It seems like this place has almost forgotten how Social Proof works, and why it works.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I'm pretty sure she likes me.
I think she is just using me for satisfaction honestly.
Oh well, **** her.
1 2 3.. over it.

Dude you sound like two different minds are running your thoughts. First you say you think she likes you, then you think she's using you and you say your over it. Then you make a post saying your just going to play it cool. Make up your mind here, one-itis is creeping in.

You decided to fuvk with her too much, you have to have a balance. Show her that your not a push-over, but don't go too extreme (which you did). There's nothing wrong with being nice to girls as long as your not a chump. Your problem seems to be that you talk and play the game too much, but you don't know when to go in for the kill. You had your chance and now she's got your ballz and the keys to the power.




PIMP

 

[Jackman]

WTF?? Why should getting a date become a pissing contest between you and the woman you want to fvck?

Who says it should be a pissing contest? I'm telling him it already is one and that he needs to pull the plug on that.

If she's not taking him up on a date, he should be working at landing dates with other women and TELLING HER ABOUT IT.

I don't think it's a good idea here, even though I might think so in other cases. He can send the same message by refusing to play certain games any more and insinuating that he's ready to move on if she doesn't step up. Being able to move on = I can get someone else. You really don't have to say it explicitly, especially in a situation where competition is already a major stalling issue. At least that's my spin on it.

If this woman is truly interested in him, competition will smarten her ass up and go out with him.

She's already doing that to him. With this whole power struggle thing going on, she'll end up fvcking the other guy just to "win" if he decides to play the same game. I'm not saying he shouldn't chase something else, I'm saying he shouldn't make it a spotlight issue with this girl.

Even if she misses out on dating him, so what? He comes out of this whole thing with a woman to date.

I agree, man. I already said he should give the impression that he is ready to move on if he doesn't get what he wants. Do I really need to say that requires talking to other women?

It seems like this place has almost forgotten how Social Proof works, and why it works.

Again, I have my reasons for believing he shouldn't be using other women in an effort to get this particular one. I know very well what social proof is, at least enough to know that it isn't always a sure thing. I've seen enough b1tches tear each other apart without me getting laid in the process....

 

[Desdinova]

Again, I have my reasons for believing he shouldn't be using other women in an effort to get this particular one. I know very well what social proof is, at least enough to know that it isn't always a sure thing.

How extensively have you used Social Proof? I find it extremely uselful to increase a woman's IL. Next to Kino, I believe Social Proof is an asset for a Don Juan. I can't tell you how many dates I ended up with solely because women were jealous of other women who liked me. I've had women scrapping over me as well, but I came out being a winner by dating both of them.

Also, the more women you date, the less upset you're going to be when one of them decides that she wants to move on. If this woman doesn't want to at least be in his bullpen, that's her problem. He should be focussing his energy on women who clearly WANT to date him. If she was desperate for his attention, they would have gone out on at least one date by now.

Grimple should be opening up his options instead of frustrating himself by wasting time and focussing all his energy on a flakey AW.

 

[THE_ADDMAN]

Your style is too strong and being played to the point that has coaxed her into playing the game along with you, competing with you, like a power struggle. You've created enough playful challenges that she now considers it "defeat" if she were to actually date/sleep with you.

You have to decide when to pull the plug and hold out for what you want. Just stop playing the games. Get busy doing something else. When she comes back, make her anti up. ASK her to go out with you. If she says no, get busy again. Lose interest. You have to let her know by your actions that you're done fvcking around and it's time to get what you want or you're moving on.

thats an excellent point. I used to do that, where girls would get too competitive and any chance for "hitting it off" would be gone.

 

[Jackman]

How extensively have you used Social Proof? I find it extremely uselful to increase a woman's IL. Next to Kino, I believe Social Proof is an asset for a Don Juan. I can't tell you how many dates I ended up with solely because women were jealous of other women who liked me. I've had women scrapping over me as well, but I came out being a winner by dating both of them.

Also, the more women you date, the less upset you're going to be when one of them decides that she wants to move on. If this woman doesn't want to at least be in his bullpen, that's her problem. He should be focussing his energy on women who clearly WANT to date him. If she was desperate for his attention, they would have gone out on at least one date by now.

Grimple should be opening up his options instead of frustrating himself by wasting time and focussing all his energy on a flakey AW.

Well, I don't disagree with anything you've said thus far. For me, it's a matter of finesse and timing.

At one point, I started using ex-girlfriends as social proof, because I figured it was better for me to do that then to let these women go bitter and talk sh1t about me to other women. This allowed me to not only have a handle on damage control, but it also made me a lot of guy friends too because they always knew I could move on and be cool with giving them her number for a shot. It worked very well for me on both sides of the sexes. But at some point SP has an element to it that can't be controlled. When you're out with one girl and another in fvck me boots and a mini skirt comes running up behind you with her hands over your eyes saying, "Guess who!", well, after so many times it starts to become a problem. I've actually been dumped because some girls started to think I was cheating on them.

SP can be very powerful, no doubt about that. I've used it in a way that has allowed me to date two girls that were best friends, a few pairs of sisters one after the other, et cetera. I've even used it in a way that has convinced women into sharing out of intrigue instead of competing becuase of jealousy. But like I said earlier, I've also seen some women get down right nasty over it. Some of these women, man, I don't know. Pretty fvcking viscious, you know? Especially those latin girls. Holy sh1t.

Anyway, having seen some of the downsides to it, I just think there is a time and place for it. Women are just as capable of using SP as men are, so if you have a situation where a woman is willing to play the same game, well, it starts to become a pissing contest in itself. It's like both are saying to each other that you better take your opportunity now before it passes. I think he can do the same exact thing just by changing the rules. If he pulls the rug from under the "who will blink first" showdown, there is nothing left for her to remain stubborn & defiant over. She either dates him or he moves on. You can keep jealousy out of situation already saturated with competition.