need some help please

[dainel13]

so i started to like this girl that ive been decent (but not great) friends with this past year. to give you a background on myself, i have the reputation at my school for being the upbeat and really funny kid thats never serious and is always nice and outgoing. the girls like me because of this and think im really sweet and fun. However, since im considered friends by all of the girls pretty much in my class (i go to a small school) i not really viewed as a romantic person. Because of this, ive kind of lacked confidence in asking this girl that i fell for out, and i kind of feel like she thinks im really funny and sweet, but again, just doesnt see herself dating me. however, at the same time, i feel like she has a little bit of attraction for me, but i dont know if its enough to go out on a limb and ask her out for.
Anyways, its summer so i havent seen her in a while, and the other day i worked out at school and when i was walking to my car i ran in to her and she told me that she was doing summer school. she asked to hang out that day and i said i could not cause i was busy right now (which i was) but i would hang out a diff time. anyways i though i screwed myself over until she sends me a message asking to hangout the next day @ school once she is done (r scol has a nice campus and a bunch of stuff going on during the summer). so we did, and her friend kind of pushed her way along (she follows her around). so it was us 3 and her friend ended up leaving so it was us two and i could not think of very much funny stuff due to anxiety so while she laughed a few times it was generally a serious, tiny bit awkward hangout.
to get to the point, i kind of want to ask her out but i still strongly feel i might be friendzoned and i dont want to ruin it so that we dont hang out at all anymore. ideally, id invite her over to my house, or if i cant do that id invite her to a movie. how do i approach this? remember, i dont want it to be too obvious i like her because im not sure enough yet that she feels the same way.

 

[FlyGuyM]

sounds like she likes you dude... ask her how she feels about you, and if you dont feel comfortable doing that, ask in a way that uses your talent; ask in a funny way that wouldnt make it seem as if you cared about her, if you get a good reaction/answer then turn the convo the whole opposite direction & be completely serious.

 

[BPH]

Contrary to the guy above, don't ask if she likes you; find out for yourself. Get a date with her then see how far you can push your boundaries (kiss, makeout, etc)

 

[dainel13]

sounds like she likes you dude... ask her how she feels about you, and if you dont feel comfortable doing that, ask in a way that uses your talent; ask in a funny way that wouldnt make it seem as if you cared about her, if you get a good reaction/answer then turn the convo the whole opposite direction & be completely serious.

thanks for the great idea!what makes you say that she likes me? also, is it a good sign if the way she acts varies when she talks to me? (sometimes flirtatious and outgoing, sometimes kind of shy and awkward).

Contrary to the guy above, don't ask if she likes you; find out for yourself. Get a date with her then see how far you can push your boundaries (kiss, makeout, etc)

Again, thank you very much for the help! I kind of feel that since im known as a really nice and funny guy, that shed be uncomfortable with me trying to make a move since it would be unexpected (especially if it turns out she doesnt like me). also, im kind of too nice of a person to just go after someone like that, and i care about her too much to just to go for it and make a move on her (in terms of kissing) without fully knowing if shes ok with it (in other words, if she likes me or not.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Paragraphs make stuff so much easier to read.

Go slow if you feel like you have to. Kino is your best friend here. It helps you show interest and figure out if she likes you (To me, knowing if she likes me is like a 6th sense now.)

But yeah, make moves, express interest (Just not before anything else, and dont make it awkward or anything. A simple "You're cool" or "I like you [you're different]" Will often do. Just make moves too.
And go on some kinda date

 

[FlyGuyM]

thanks for the great idea!what makes you say that she likes me? also, is it a good sign if the way she acts varies when she talks to me? (sometimes flirtatious and outgoing, sometimes kind of shy and awkward).

I think she likes you because it sounds to me like she want to hangout & make plans, your deffinetly on her mind. && i think the fact she acts diffrent sometimes is also a good thing, sometimes if a guy really likes a girl he'll act akward & somedays he'll be cool & normal.. so its probably the same for a girl

 

[dainel13]

Paragraphs make stuff so much easier to read.

Go slow if you feel like you have to. Kino is your best friend here. It helps you show interest and figure out if she likes you (To me, knowing if she likes me is like a 6th sense now.)

But yeah, make moves, express interest (Just not before anything else, and dont make it awkward or anything. A simple "You're cool" or "I like you [you're different]" Will often do. Just make moves too.
And go on some kinda date

One of the things im struggling with is kino. I understand in terms of giving her a hug next time i see her, but what are some ways in just casual conversation i can break the touch barrier without blantally and awkardly just touching her. also, in terms of expressing interest, i know i need to start dropping more compliments, but the probelm is i feel like i cant find a good median between not complimenting her at all and making it blantally obvious that i really like her. thank you very much for the advice one of the things i never though about is kino!

I think she likes you because it sounds to me like she want to hangout & make plans, your deffinetly on her mind. && i think the fact she acts diffrent sometimes is also a good thing, sometimes if a guy really likes a girl he'll act akward & somedays he'll be cool & normal.. so its probably the same for a girl

I feel that way too, but at the same time i feel that it may be partly in response to me being sometimes different around her, as sometimes i can easily flow and be myself while other times i feel nervous as **** and feel like im being so awkward.

 

[dainel13]

Thank you to everyone for the advice! anyways ive thought about everything everyone has said and i think ive got a plan. please give me feedback as to whether you think its good or not:

- im going to wait a few days to talk to her and ask her to do anything. i wanna give her a little bit of space to make it seem not that i dont care bout her, but that my life doesnt revolve around talking to her everyday

- next weekend ill ask her if she is doing anything and invite her to hangout. when we hangout

- ill try simple kino stuff and subtle compliments here and there and see how she responds. generally, ill try and take it slow and if see if i can get her more comfortable being more flirty and touchy with me (alot of time she is, but as i said alot of times she seems to become a bit shy). however, if she responds to me being more touchey by being all over me, i might dump the slow approach and try more stuff out

again thank you eveyone for your help. please let me know if its a good approach and if you hav anything you think i could add to my above plan. I really wanna take it slow because i really care about this girl as more then someone i want to get with and hope that if she ends up not having any interest in me at all well still be friends. the last thing is go quick and make a big move on her (kiss, try and make out) only to find out she does not like me as more than a friend and i made her really uncomfortable.

 

[Plec07]

I'm pretty certain she likes you mate. If you don't mind can I ask how old you both are? Just because over the past 5 or so years I've noticed younger girls are a lot easier to tell if they like you (they tend to play less games and don't get so confused with so many emotions).

At a guess I'm thinking you guys are 15-17ish? If you wanna try some real simple kino that I've never found is too forward but gives a nice big indicator. Grab her hand. It's simple and easy, hold her hand while your watching the movie, or just walking. Give it a little squeeze when you say something to her, or even just randomly. If she squeezes back it shows interest.

If you want more reassurance then let go of her hand, not in so much of an abvious way. Just to scratch your arm or something, and put it back next to hers. As soon as it's back next to hers she's gonna be thinking "is he going to hold my hand again?" and eventually (usually within a couple minutes - girls are impatient) she'll either hold your hand again or just start nudging hers into yours to make your grab hers. If she does either of those things your golden. Just take her and and give it another little squeeze to show her she's been a good girl by initiating it.

Lately I've noticed a lot of people have forgotten how much women/girls notice/appreciate those little things like that and how much they mean to them. Hell when I'm holdin hands with my LTR and she squeezes mine a couple times, if I don't squeeze back she'll ask me why all worried like. 9x out of 10 I'm not payin enough attention to her notice lol.

 

[dainel13]

I'm pretty certain she likes you mate. If you don't mind can I ask how old you both are? Just because over the past 5 or so years I've noticed younger girls are a lot easier to tell if they like you (they tend to play less games and don't get so confused with so many emotions).

At a guess I'm thinking you guys are 15-17ish? If you wanna try some real simple kino that I've never found is too forward but gives a nice big indicator. Grab her hand. It's simple and easy, hold her hand while your watching the movie, or just walking. Give it a little squeeze when you say something to her, or even just randomly. If she squeezes back it shows interest.

If you want more reassurance then let go of her hand, not in so much of an abvious way. Just to scratch your arm or something, and put it back next to hers. As soon as it's back next to hers she's gonna be thinking "is he going to hold my hand again?" and eventually (usually within a couple minutes - girls are impatient) she'll either hold your hand again or just start nudging hers into yours to make your grab hers. If she does either of those things your golden. Just take her and and give it another little squeeze to show her she's been a good girl by initiating it.

Lately I've noticed a lot of people have forgotten how much women/girls notice/appreciate those little things like that and how much they mean to them. Hell when I'm holdin hands with my LTR and she squeezes mine a couple times, if I don't squeeze back she'll ask me why all worried like. 9x out of 10 I'm not payin enough attention to her notice lol.

im in high school. and yeah i completely understand about how women appreciate the little things. on the flip side, i dont want to get caught up thinking about the little things as i tend to overthink stuff too much and worry too much about little things. also, thank you for idea, ill have to use it once i feel confident enough to ask her to hold her hand. right now i need to start kino in a way that could be seen as simply a friend to friend gesture and see if she how she responds to it. thank you for your help!

 

[Plec07]

im in high school. and yeah i completely understand about how women appreciate the little things. on the flip side, i dont want to get caught up thinking about the little things as i tend to overthink stuff too much and worry too much about little things. also, thank you for idea, ill have to use it once i feel confident enough to ask her to hold her hand. right now i need to start kino in a way that could be seen as simply a friend to friend gesture and see if she how she responds to it. thank you for your help!

Don't ever ask. DO. Doesn't matter what it is.
Actions speak louder than words.
Actions show confidence.
Actions show domincance.
Actions express your true emotions.
Actions show that you get what you want.
Actions show your a man.
And finally. It is easier to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission.

 

[dainel13]

follow up: i asked her to hang out the other day. she responded with "hi sorry, i am going to the city tomorrow" and then but a frowny face at the end. i would have followed up and asked about a different day, but i realized that if she didnt mention trying to hangout a different day then it might make me sound desperate to try to ask if she could hang out another day. is this true? or does her not offering an alternative day not mean much, which means i ****ed up by not texting back after she told me she was gone for the day?

 

[Plec07]

It means she's not desperate to hang out with you, but it doesn't mean she's nessisarily against it. I wouldn't look too much into it, but you were right to not immediately give another date. I just wouldn't think of it as "oh she didn't offer up another date so she doesn't wanna hang with me at all".

Give it some time and give it another try.

 

[FlyGuyM]

i feel like if you asked her to hang out earlier (before she made plans for the city) she would have said yes... write her later and ask if she had fun at the city, reply to whatever she says with "you woulda had more fun with me " and that should break the ice, start a good convo, and set you up for a chance to ask her to hang out again.