Need some help here. Feel like my heart is in pieces.

[bullethead]

I broke up with a f-buddy 7 months ago because she hooked up with someone else (a friend). I was devastated. My ex-friend recently gave me an update of what she did in the last 7 months today. I did not contact her and avoided her for 7 months. I don't know how to feel right now. My friend ended up dumping her, and she hooked up with another guy for a few months. And then during a school ball she ended up having a one night stand with my ex-friend.I don't know anymore but I feel sick to my stomach. How do I handle myself in this situation?

 

[PrettyBoyAJ]

Quit crying over a jump-off. This was a fbuddy for a reason. Number one rule of the game of jump offs is to never have emotions involved. She is a f buddy for a reason.

How weeny can you get to get emotional over a jumpoff. Comon man you got to do better.

EDIT Because I don't want to waste more posts here.

How do you have respect for a jumpoff anyway? She is only good for a nut and some $ occasionally.

 

[bullethead]

haha, i know, it just hurts a little, makes me feel like im not good enough. Def lost a lot of respect for her.

 

[Trump]

Girl gets around...hooks up with you, hooks up with your friend, then another guy, then has ONS with your ex-friend. I'd almost be happy if I were you, better you know what kind of girl she is now than 6 months down the road.

You're only upset because you got no other girls on the horizon. If 2 or 3 other girls showed interest in you, you would forget all about her adventures.

 

[bullethead]

Thanks Trump that is some great advice!

 

[moneyisking]

my guess is you're in highschool. well only advice i can give you is this. well done. life is a b!tch to you lot of times and hos will break your heart during your life. no one knows how many more heart breaks you will get (I had two total until I got smarter and hold a shield against emotional heart break), but looks like one down.

 

[floydb25]

You're making a mistake of letting this get to you. You already know what kind of person she is. This has nothing to do with you. You're not "not good enough". She sleeps around. That's all. Nobody is special to her, and you're not a failure for not keeping her. There's nothing to keep; she's a slut. That's how she operates.

You seem to have unrealistic expectations of yourself and others. If you can't keep a slut - you're not good enough? WTF? Nobody can. They're going to sleep around regardless. A **** buddy is going to sleep around. If not, they wouldn't want it in the first place. It's what this kind of setup entails.

This isn't a case where she breaks up with you, and gets involved with others (relationship wise). She's simply jumping from one guy to the next, and using them all for sex. There's nothing you are doing wrong; there's not something you're missing that's preventing her from committing. She's simply a slut.

Accept people for who they are. If you go in knowing they're a slut, or whatever they're looking for - there will be no disappointments or expectations. Maybe you thought she'd want more? Thought wrong. **** buddies are just that. They **** for a while then move on. If she wasn't trash - she wouldn't be doing this with multiple people. So, its not at all you. In fact, she got with your friend - which goes to show how loyal and respectful she is. She didn't care about this, or you, or him, or the other guy, or who knows how many other people.

Don't beat yourself up like this. Even if a girl breaks up with you in a relationship - it doesn't mean you're worthless. Never let others destroy your self-esteem, drain your confidence, or determine your worth. Someone else will like you all the same. **** happens. Feelings change. A lot of people - like this skank - are simply worthless. Never fret over losers. Even if they criticize you, and blame you for them not wanting you - **** them. Don't believe it. You are good enough; they're nothing special; its their loss.

 

[Mike32ct]

It wasn't a relationship. It was FWB, which has an expiration date. You had your "turn" with her.

The good news is that if you had a FWB, you must be ok in the looks in the department, so you can get other girls.

Or maybe FWB really isn't for you? Maybe you are more of a relationship guy? Nothing wrong with that either.

Either way, you need to meet other girls. Don't feel the least bit bad about this girl. Actually 7 months is pretty long for a FWB. You probably saw more action than any of her current guys.

Finally, if you did want a relationship with her, she did you a favor by letting you find out what she's really like. So don't give it a second thought.

 

[bullethead]

thanks guys u guys are awesome! Great advice! I will stop fretting over her.

 

[floydb25]

Mike: Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. Even sluts have standards. So if anything, he did everything right based on the circumstances. He was attractive enough to **** for 7 months, or whatever. And, that's all she's looking for. You win.

 

[bigneil]

With sluts, you can only hope to survive the honeymoon phase. They can't handle the reality phase.

 

[bullethead]

haha, yea, thanks guys, def the first real slut i ever met. I just wish I can get over it completely!

 

[Serg897]

You'll get over it. We all do eventually. All it takes is time and continuing to live your life.

 

[Spinning Spinning]

Each week gets easier bro....like someone else said....hook up a new missus and you'd be amazed how quickly you forget.

 

[Down Low]

This has nothing to do with you. You're not "not good enough". She sleeps around. That's all. Nobody is special to her, and you're not a failure for not keeping her. There's nothing to keep; she's a slut. That's how she operates. . . .

Don't beat yourself up like this. Even if a girl breaks up with you in a relationship - it doesn't mean you're worthless. Never let others destroy your self-esteem, drain your confidence, or determine your worth. Someone else will like you all the same. **** happens. Feelings change. A lot of people - like this skank - are simply worthless. Never fret over losers. Even if they criticize you, and blame you for them not wanting you - **** them. Don't believe it. You are good enough; they're nothing special; its their loss.

Damn good stuff here! I like the emphasis on how she's worthless because of her character flaws . . . promiscuity = ultimate character flaw = devaluing others without reason . . . all the worse when it's compounded by the typical female flaw of blaming others for one's own shortcomings.

With sluts, you can only hope to survive the honeymoon phase. They can't handle the reality phase.

Can you expand on this? I'd like to hear your reasoning.

 

[Mike32ct]

Mike: Yeah, that's what I was thinking, too. Even sluts have standards. So if anything, he did everything right based on the circumstances. He was attractive enough to **** for 7 months, or whatever. And, that's all she's looking for. You win.

Yep. Inexperienced guys might be tempted to think that sl$t girls will F anybody. No no no. Sl$ts are some of the most shallow and picky women as far as guys' looks go. These girls might have a high lay count, but they don't pick men at random to F. They still cherry pick their targets based on strict shallow standards.

So the OP has the looks (and some game) to get her and skill in the sack to keep her for 7 months.

So take this as a confidence boost, not a let down.

 

[Mike32ct]

I like you PPRL. This is just a friendly debate and not an attack on your views....

Plus I think I've seen your pic. You're a good looking guy.

Back to the sl&t standards thing, I'm not saying the guy has to look like Tom Br a d y. No, not necessarily, but he does have to be attractive to HER.

Yes, some of the men that sl$ts F look disgusting to us, as men, but our perspective is different.

He might look like a fat slob with a nose ring to us, but to her, he's some hot wild bad boy. I mean she won't bring him home to mom, but he still triggers the gina tingle in her.

You can easily be a more handsome (but more clean cut) guy and get rejected by the sl$ts. She might leave with some guy that looks really trashy to us.

But she is still strictly following HER standards, even if we don't agree with them.

So it's not so much that she always goes for the most objectively handsome guy, it's that the guy has to fit the profile she is looking for.

So when I said strict look standards, I meant she tries to find a guy as close to the her preferred type as possible. If she's horny at a party, she'll pick a guy that is closest to what she wants based on who is available.

Outside the Community, if a guy is havin trouble getting laid, girls and guys will say "Just find a sl$t.". My point is that is not the best advice because sl$ts aren't universally easy. If you don't fit the profile they want, they can be quite difficult to score.

This is NO way intended as a insult towards the OP. I'm just showing the other side of the coin. The OP clearly has a look that helps gets him action which is great.

 

[bullethead]

thank you guys for the compliments. lol yea, i do get that I am a good looking guy sometimes, but here is the thing. The guy she hooked up with is better looking than me. I am 5'8 and he is 6'0. He is also better looking than her as well. She is a 7 and he is a 9. This guy could def do better. That is what pisses me off about the whole situation. It felt like another guy stole something of mine easily.

 

[betheman]

... It felt like another guy stole something of mine easily.

get that thought out of your head, she didnt belong to you, she is pretty easy, slutty! you really think this one was a keeper?

he didnt steal her, she left, she made that decision. as for his looks? so what? see that good looking guy? he is kissing the lips that were round your d!ck (I hope??) he is having your used goods.

 

[bullethead]

get that thought out of your head, she didnt belong to you, she is pretty easy, slutty! you really think this one was a keeper?

he didnt steal her, she left, she made that decision. as for his looks? so what? see that good looking guy? he is kissing the lips that were round your d!ck (I hope??) he is having your used goods.

haha thanks man. Yea, she did give me a ******* in the morning and made out with him at night.