Need some help/advice

[darknessburns]

I've been hoping to meet someone for a while now, but with no success. My high school years were a mess when it came to girls (with them seeming to flock towards only the 'sporty' guys) and I hoped everything would change now that I've finished and have moved onto further studies. I am certainly more confident than I was before, having met several girls...but all of which had boyfriends (which was kindly indicated only after I had made myself look stupid by asking them out).

I've changed my appearance considerably in the last few months, but it seems that it is not having an effect. I mean, unless some girls are giving off subtle signs that i'm missing, I just don't know what's wrong...

I was just wondering whether anyone had any suggestions on how to approach girls (because my nerves get the better of me)?

It's something I'm hoping to fix but without ever having a girlfriend by this stage in my life, it is getting kind of depressing.

 

[CrowdedCowboy]

Proceed to the bottom of the forum to the "DJ Bible" link. Get a cup of coffee, make sure you have some ample free time and indulge. Also check out the thread started yesterday on good posters other than Pook. I believe its still at the bottom of the first page. Good links in there.

 

[Yuriy777]

Anyone can hope, what you need is action.

Well, one problem I can detect from your post is that you seem to seek acceptance from other people and that your mood is influenced too much by others.
It's a numbers game and you shouldn't allow a few or even a fair amount of bad approaches to make you "depressed".

Rather than go into a long post, please check out a good number of the articles on this site as well as the bible and better yourself until you are truly happy with yourself. Only then will you have the true confidence you need (as well as a few key elements needed to keep your approach headed in the right direction). Also, I would suggest practicing approaches, witty humor, and learning to read body language.

-Yuriy-

 

[CrowdedCowboy]

I agree with Yuri. Read Pook's stuff about being a man and confidence carefully. It really gave me a boost a few months ago and put me on the right track. It's amazing that some post on the internet was enough of a kick in the ass to get me UP OFF OF MY ASS and changing the way I look at things. And it hasn't even been that hard. The hardest part is realizing you have a problem! So you're already halfway there. Read the bible!

 

[darknessburns]

Thanks for the replies. I have been reading the articles...just a matter of putting it into action. I'm definately trying to stop thinking and start doing, and hopefully, I'll have more success next semester.

 

[Bat]

Read the Bible, all you need is probably there.

 

[flexion_]

Sounds like you are expecting the women to come to you. Changing your appearance is great - good work on that.

Now start talking to women without BFs. They are out there.

 

[darknessburns]

There wouldn't happen to be some nice indicators that a girl actually has a boyfriend is there? I mean, the two girls I asked out only mentioned it AFTER I had made a fool of myself. Kind of annoying. I would really hate wasting time pursuing someone who is already taken...

 

[Dergz]

There wouldn't happen to be some nice indicators that a girl actually has a boyfriend is there? I mean, the two girls I asked out only mentioned it AFTER I had made a fool of myself. Kind of annoying. I would really hate wasting time pursuing someone who is already taken...

The reason they told u about their b/friends AFTER yu supposedly made a fool of yourself is cuz you didn't show them what a great guy you were compared to their b/friends. Women usually give you a chance to prove yourself before they flash the red cards. Its good practice though, cuz over time you'll become used to it.
I would suggest you download a copy of Mr Fingers' Weapons Of Mass Seduction, it's recommended reading, take it from me.

good luck man :rockon: