Need some DJ advice as im really confused

show22x

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Okay so I work at CVS pharmacy with this girl at my job, we've been friends for like 3 months now. I've always thought she was cool and i was intially attracted to her but i never spit any game at her. I just played it cool and we just talk normally when we work together on the schedules.

Anyways my job implemented a new rule on the dress code and they made us wear dress clothes instead of the regular CVS uniforms and such. She complemented me on my whole attire and such. But recently she has had to wear dress clothes too and this is the first time that i saw her like that and i became sexually attracted to her. She look like a regular girl with her CVS uniform on but with her dress clothes and stuff she was stunning to me (i no it sounds weird but it really was that way to me)

Other guys at the job have hit on her and spit their game on her but she has never to my knowledge ever taken them seriously, she just has maintained a friendship level with everyone. I've heard rumors she has a bf but thats not confirmed.

Anyways last saturday before v-day, she tells me she has never recieved a gift for v-day except for her mom, to which i said come on you cant be serious to her and she maintained she never got anything. I told her that in can sing and that i would sing to her on v-day. She got excited and whatever, said i better not be playing games or something like that about my singing.

I come up with the idea to get her a simple little white teddy bear to surprise her. On sunday v-day, we play around talking what not, and I tell her i cant sing for her today and come up with excuses and what not (in my mind i was just trying to find a scenario to present her with the gift bear). She got pretty mad that i would not sing like i promised. At some point she goes to the break room to chill out, and i let a little time go and i follow her to the break room.

She is sitting down texting and I surprise her with the bear and she couldnt believe i got it for her. It was a cheap 3.99 bear that said happy valentines. She really loved that i did that for her and we hug and then she did something unexpected to me, she got really emotional and she almost starts crying, she had to sort of control herself at that point (in my mind i was thinking i guess no man has ever given a v-day to her in reality). We then hug again and we hug for a good amount of time this time. I kind of froze up at that point cause that was not the reaction i was expecting, and i just smiled at her and said she deserved it.

I return to doing what i was doing before, but that image just kept replaying in my head. Anyways the rest of the day was really awkward between me and her, we both did are best to avoid eye contact and we acted weird amongst each other. I work the night shift and she leaves midday so as she was leaving we talk little and she hugs me again before she leaves and says thanks. The rest of the day Im los cause it felt so good to do something for a girl and have her give emotion like that. You know real genuine stuff.

Anyways we both go to school (different schools) and work weekends only so the next time i see her would be this saturday coming up. At this point im invested in her and i want her. I feel like telling her how she made me feel when she reacted that way, keep in my mind i dont have this girls number or anything. Im really confused as to whether this chick is even into me, has a bf?, and if her getting so emotional in a good way is my in to step my game at her 100% this week. I need some advise as to what should be my plan of attack.

Im sorry it was so long but i wanted to include as much detail as i could. Please respond if you got any wisdom.
 

Isko

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I'm serious. Although if you're too afraid to do that, then hedge your bets by just asking her out in a nonchalant way.

She sounds very emotional, which is kinda sweet, but I'd be careful. Especially if she really got so mad that you wouldn't sing to her that she had to leave the room. That and a couple other things make me wonder if she has some father issues, like abandonment or something. This is just speculation, but it's definitely strange to me that she would be so emotionally unstable like that. Not a deal-breaker, though; just something you should find out more about.

Still, I'm NOT kidding about telling her how you feel. You said yourself that she didn't respond to guys at work spitting game at her. She seems to feel like you respect her and are honest with her. That's your way in. Invite her over, or invite her out... That's the most basic thing to do.

It really sounds to me like she's into you. I would tell her how you feel. Think about how YOU'D feel if she told you she was attracted to you. As long as she didn't come off as crazy or insanely desperate or something, then you'd be glad, right? She's the same way. Tell her "it felt good to do something for a girl and have her give emotion like that. You know real genuine stuff." Don't underestimate how shy girls can be. They won't always make it obvious they like you; they're afraid of rejection themselves, especially if they aren't sexually confident party girls.

And ask her if she wants to hang out this weekend. Keep it real, man. You're a confident guy who knows there are other women in the world; it's easier and more fun to be honest and get with a girl who wants to get with you, than play a bunch of complicated games.
 

show22x

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Isko i appreciate the words of advice, I will tell her how she made me feel, I have to it keeps bothering and puts a smile to my face that i could make her feel that way.

She may well have some baggage from past relations or family issues, idk but i need to at least give my best run. Cause i know if i catch her alone and i sing to her im gonna go for the kiss thats one of my go to moves.

And she dont seem like a party girl, like u said, I dont like awkward so im gonna small talk and humor her, and when shes about to leave work i'll tell her what she made me feel like that day.
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Isko said:
Still, I'm NOT kidding about telling her how you feel. You said yourself that she didn't respond to guys at work spitting game at her. She seems to feel like you respect her and are honest with her. That's your way in. Invite her over, or invite her out... That's the most basic thing to do.

It really sounds to me like she's into you. I would tell her how you feel. Think about how YOU'D feel if she told you she was attracted to you. As long as she didn't come off as crazy or insanely desperate or something, then you'd be glad, right? She's the same way. Tell her "it felt good to do something for a girl and have her give emotion like that. You know real genuine stuff." Don't underestimate how shy girls can be. They won't always make it obvious they like you; they're afraid of rejection themselves, especially if they aren't sexually confident party girls.

And ask her if she wants to hang out this weekend. Keep it real, man. You're a confident guy who knows there are other women in the world; it's easier and more fun to be honest and get with a girl who wants to get with you, than play a bunch of complicated games.
Yeah, but what does "Telling her how he feels" equate to?

In my mind, unless you're REALLY invested in a girl (sex, dates, spending time together), dating should be light, and carefree. Coming up to some girl you haven't even kissed and spilling your guts about how good it felt to give her a gift and to hug her kinda gets the relationship off to a weird start.

If anything, he should just tell her that he's in the mood to try some new restaurant or bar, or something fun like bowling, and then tell her that she should come along.

Even if the girl likes him, we're talking about getting a first date here...spilling your guts to her just sounds like "I really like you and want you to be my girlfriend even though you've done nothing to qualify yourself to me and earn this place in my heart."

When they're first dating you, girls want to feel like you're a source of fun. Not some guy in desperate need of a relationship. What sounds more fun to you:
1) "It felt so great to hug you and give you a gift on Valentine's day. We should date and be exclusive!"
2) "Hey, you're going bowling with me this weekend. Whoever wins buys the other a bear."

Save all that "feelings" talk for the woman. If she likes him already, then the act of asking her out says everything he needs to say. He doesn't need to overdo it by trying to do a Romeo impersonation. She hasn't earned that from him yet.

It's one thing to date a person and see where it goes. That could be fun. It's a different story to make a proclamation of love based around a hug and a teddy bear.
 

Isko

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Yeah I agree with all that; the sappy, romantic vibe would be wrong here. I just got the feeling that he could pull it off without coming off too needy. I pictured him being sweet in an attractive way, like that kid Justin Bieber.

He definitely shouldn't be sending "I'm falling for you" signals to a girl he barely knows... But if he actually IS keeping realistic levels of interest (not too much, not too little), then it seems fine to show her that.

Mantis' advice seems good to me, OP. I didn't mean to get unreasonably mushy with her. I just meant be honest with her instead of trying to impress her.

Verbalizing my feelings has rarely worked for me actually; it's worked better to SHOW them by acting upon them first, by asking her out, touching her, etc. Only later do I say how I was feeling, and then, only if she asks.
 

show22x

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Mantis that really made sense when you think about it, I guess me over analyzing too much is making things worse and im not thinking straight im just thinking with emotion. Im gonna get her number this weekend when we see each other and take it from there then seems like the logical thing.

And you right about not wanting to come off as some desperate dude when if she had not reacted the way she did i would not even be thinking this way about her and me, it would have been status quo between us like it was. I got Sat and Sun where i have 3 hours before she leaves from the point that i clock in to work, to lay the foundation for my game. But im gonna spit the best game i can and see where it goes from there. Whatever happens, happens is the mindset im preparing for this weekend.
 

show22x

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An update on my situation, tried some kino on her as she was buying something got close to touch her, my arm next to her arm while i was talking some bs while she was at the register, and she did bs talk right back with me. Then later on she again acted mad weird didn't talk to me or make any eye contact. This chick has always been upbeat and upfront with me before the v-day **** and now she just isnt into it making convo anymore. idk one minute she acting all into it wit with me when i kino her and then the rest of the day she is trying to avoid me.

anyways as she was about to leave i asked her for her number, she gave me it said to text her. I waited 2hrs texted

me:Yo (her name) just making sure u got home safe
her: ohh okayy yeah i did imma save ur number
me: nah but for real next time we work u need to stop staring at my butt ;)
her: what who??
me: lol yeah (her name) u
her: goooodnight! lol
me: iight later

Now the reason i used that line was i was trying to lighten the mood and play with her, but she took it another way as me being literal idk.

Anyways how should i approach this chick, should i even waste any more time one her, use more c&f to get her going, need some help i like this chick, but this is really confusing me. My plan of attack was to convo her tomorrow, if she eats it up then i would ask her out to bowling or something tuesday and set up the date for thursday or friday.

Let me know ur opinions and wise wisdoms DJ, i need ur
 

Tesl

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I don't even understand that conversation, it doesn't seem to grammatically make any sort of sense.

Anyway, it doesn't sound like that bizarre fluff will make much difference. I think you should have asked her out in person to do something in addition to getting her number, as its a little more difficult now to do this properly via text.

If it was me, I'd leave this a few days and not text her (don't expect one from her, either). Find something fun to do (my favourite is to try and find a comedy club or comedy show that's happening nearby) and invite her to it with you ("I just heard about this show that sounds really funny, want to try it out with me?" kinda thing)

Keep us updated :)
 

Ease

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show22x said:
Isko i appreciate the words of advice, I will tell her how she made me feel, I have to it keeps bothering and puts a smile to my face that i could make her feel that way.
I really hope isko was joking.

Please dont tell her how you feel. Thats the worst advice.

She's not interested in you buddy. She has a bf. Plenty of fish in the sea, you have a disease called 'oneitis' right now, you need treatment.
 

show22x

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Alright final update on this chick, EASE you were right she was ultimately not interested in me. I indeed did have a bad case of oneitis for this chick. Im glad its over with her and that feeling i had can finally get moving on to better girls.

I layed my best game on her asked her to chill out one wk, she came with a lame bs school excuse about being busy. Ok strike one in my book.

This past sunday i tried again got her alone and asked her to hangout with me on wednesday and she totally flaked again on me with another bs excuse. Two strikes and she is out of the picture as far as im concerned.

She is done. Next. Since we still gotta work together on the weekends we will be friends i no that for sure, but she sure is the one who missed out on a great guy. Thanks for the help and advice. You guys saw the signs that i was missing but at last i am a young dj in training.
 

Guoy Darko

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When you see her in person that much, you don't need her number to go text her. :confused: That makes things more distant and at the same time too heavy.

In the future don't buy a teddybear or anything. Even if it was only $0,01. You make a big deal out of it way too soon. When you see her, ask her out for coffee. That's my $0,02.
 
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