Need some advice

[Cougar10033]

Ok here it is i have been on this board for awhile now. I understand how the game works, how to get chicks, pick up and have my fun with them. My problem now is this. I gamed a girl very hard around November of last year.. i go all the way with her on the third date. I still keep my game intact and keep my friends 1st, hobbies and interest 2nd and her 3rd.. Suddenly im with this girl at christmas, she buys me around 500 worth of presents. I start thinking this is a sweet girl. In January she takes me to a bowl game to see my favorite team and while out there she tells me she loves me... i say the same thing back. She loves to be around me... whenever i have work she texts me no stop at work. However i think i have been dupped.. i have not been out with my friends now in over 2 months, I find myself spending every second with this girl and I KNOW BETTER !!!! How do you reverse this trend and get your dignity back. Now this girl is a great girl, the best ive ever dated... so my worry is that by me suddenly saying whoa hold up and going out with my friends again she will start to flake.... does anyone have a strategy to gently work my way back to the dominant position ?

 

[A-Unit]

Re:

Well, first things first.

When you've gone through what you have with this girl, she's going to assume you want to be around her the MOST of anything or anyone. The girl I'm currently seeing watches all the girls around her with the b/f's who want to spend time with them first. That's a big thing. It's ok to want to be around your girl as the first option. Some guys, it's reverse or opposite.

Next, you formed a habit, so unform the habit. Make plans with your friends. It does not have to be every single day. Just make plans to do what it is with your friends or interests, and ALSO make plans with her. If you want to keep the relationship, while adding back in YOUR WORLD, do it subtely. If you don't, just be a d!ck, make plans, and totally ignore her. She'll either adapt, or dump you. That's not the cool route to go, because she sounds like a great girl undeserving of such treatment.

Girls want you to be with them. It's their nature. It isn't entirely a conscious strategy. Even my girl does it. She says things to suggest I dress a certain way, look a certain way, or not to make noises, whatever. Some stuff is totally fine, as it's a way of keeping up appearances and taking care of myself. Other times, a woman does it SLOWLY to evolve the man into who she wants.

Think of it like this...women are very emotional, detailed oriented, picky, sometimes *****y creatures. The more she can mold your bad traits/habits into something she likes, the more her world is secure. The more YOU ARE her's, and not someone else's man. Another possession like her kids. Or maybe it's just she wants to care for you, and from her perspective THAT'S what she deems caring for you? You choose.

Point is, if there's things you want to do, there isn't a reason in the world you shouldn't do them. And you have to also understand, if you come with straight logic, a woman won't care. Women are funny like that. They don't. You have to take different tactics as a man. The beauty in being a man, is understanding women AND yourself. You almost act as the impartial observed on a situation, not quite being the participant. And while that might be sad, its helpful when dealing in tense situations.

A-Unit

 

[Last Man Standing]

Men do what they want to do without seeking the acquiesemce and approval of a woman - you are obviously young and have yet to see manhood!

 

[Desdinova]

It's important to keep what you had before you started dating your gf. This girl may leave you tomorrow, but your friends won't. Neither will your hobbies (which I'm guessing you also dropped to spend more time with her)

Spending time with a woman is wonderful, but you need to keep your friends for guy activities and conversation. Also, spoiling a woman with your time will eventually cause her to feel smothered and pull away. The both of you need to spend time apart to keep the relationship going.

so my worry is that by me suddenly saying whoa hold up and going out with my friends again she will start to flake

Tell her you need to spend time with them. They're an important part of your life, and it's not worth the risk of losing them. She should understand. You may also want to point out how she's dropped spending time with her friends as well, and that she needs those friends to talk about "woman things" that you won't understand.

 

[Cougar10033]

The thing is she has not stopped spending time with her friends. When i work i work swing shifts and odd days because im a cop. She lives with her 2 best friends. ALso when im working on a saturday night or friday night she always has the option to go out and spend time with her friends.