need some advice

[djbegin]

i'll try and keep this as short as possible. about three weeks ago i hungout with some chick who i had just met recently. we ended up going to some bar it went great, a little bit of kino, flirted, and picked up on some her body language. i did show some signs of an afc, but not too bad(i'm still on the road to recovery). at the end of the nite only a hug goodnite and she tells me she had a great time.

about a week later we hungout again at a club, good kino and all that stuff, but she totally runs off and starts hanging out with some other guy. the old afc would have stayed around waiting for her, but i just walked out on her. she called the next day but i never returned the call.

recently i hooked-up with one of the other girls in the group(only ok lookin). surprise out of nowhere she calls. i don't know if she wanted to tease me about the other girl, but i never brought it up. she tells me "we should hangout soon" and even recommends somthing to do. should i even give her a chance and if so how should i play it when we do go out or is she too flakey.

confused recovering afc

 

[sAxyguy83]

I'd say give her one more chance. Don't harp on the past episode (you'll come across as too jealous), but don't give too easy an excuse for not returning her call ("too busy" would be the excuse I'd use).

By not returning her last call, you made it clear (unless she's dense) that you won't put up w/ her playing games. If she tries it again (and I mean something that looks like romantic intentions, not chatting w/ a male friend), walk out again, and stop returning her calls altogether unless she gives a damn good explanation.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by sAxyguy83
I'd say give her one more chance. Don't harp on the past episode (you'll come across as too jealous), but don't give too easy an excuse for not returning her call ("too busy" would be the excuse I'd use).

By not returning her last call, you made it clear (unless she's dense) that you won't put up w/ her playing games. If she tries it again (and I mean something that looks like romantic intentions, not chatting w/ a male friend), walk out again, and stop returning her calls altogether unless she gives a damn good explanation.

psh...make her earn her chance? question her..."wait you wanna hangout" what happens if that random dude shows up?

call her out on it

why would she be worthy of your time if she blew you off b4?

there a thought comig across my mind that you dont want any akwardness but i am failing to see why youd even talk to this girl again

as i see it, right now she doesnt deserve that 2nd chance. BTW, she prolly only wants to be friends, even so she hasnt shown great qualities of friendship.

 

[iqqi]

she totally runs off and starts hanging out with some other guy

so, do you have any clue who this guy was? i mean are you SURE it wasn't like her best gay guy pal? did she come back and talk to you at all, before you left? (that was, btw, so cool if she was playing you like a chump). when she called you later, did she ever mention any excuses to who that guy was?

 

[violator]

Your are not too clear on something. When you went out, were you on an official date with her or was it more of a casual hook up? Because if you were on a date and she ran off with some other guy leaving you out to dry, that is a major blow off and sign of disrespect even worse than her not showing up IMO. In that case, she deserves a big NEXT.

Otherwise, she seems a bit flakey. With these types of girls, challenge and social proof are the key. You did good by going out and being seen with other girls and not returning her calls. Notice how that seemed to raise her IL.

Keep doing what you are doing (your instincts are good despite an occasional afc relapse). At some point, however, you are going have to cut the game playing and ask her out on a real date.

It seems that you are quite new to the game, so read the Bible and read it again and again into it starts to sink in.

 

[djbegin]

thanks for all the advice. let me clarify a few things.

i admit that i got some of the ljbf vibe after thinking about the first date, but her body language and choice of conversation topics (sex) told me differently.

i personally think the girl has feelings for me, but i'm walking a very thin line between ljbf and more than that.

is there a way to get away from this thin line without going to the wrong side of it?
i used more kino and flirting the second time we were out. i have other girls around, but she is definately the best looking one.

recovering afc