need some advice please.. mixed signals

[Eternal87]

So I met this girl and we talked for a while online. Eventually she asked for my number n called me. Phone convo was great. She calls me almost everyday, even while shes at work. We flirt back and forth, and she told me she has interest in me. To make a long story short. I asked her to hang out, and on the day I called her but no reply. She finally called me 4 hours after the supposib date and flaked on me saying she fell asleep becuz of painkillers shes taking for her dental work and she apologizes. I respond by saying "it's cool maybe next time". I wait 4 days later and ask her again to hang out. And we made plans again for the following weekend. On that day of the date, I call her n asked her what time she would like to be picked up. She responded by saying She had to go to the dentist again and get her gum's sitched again due to too much pain and cannot make it to dinner. Now I'm pretty frustrated with this girl. But she insists on calling me everyday still and texts me. So I thoguht I'd give it once more chance and set another date for tomorrow. But tonight she told me she has a fever n feels sick. So I asked her if she could still make it tomorrow. She said "maybe, if i feel better"
I have a feeling she may flake again. The questions I have are:

if she flakes again, what shall I do or say to her?

and

why is she calling me everyday n texting me but keeps flaking me?

 

[DannyM]

Tooth pain is no joke....If she is as bad as she says I know i wouldn't want to be around anyone at the time I felt like that, Put the ball in her court....Txt her saying you can't make it tomorrow and to txt you when she feels better to arrange something!

You just seem too available at the moment so you need to get the message to her that you have other things going on in your life right now than organising a date with her, I know its hard dude because its you not me that has to do this and I have no emotional investment in her....but do it and let me know what happens. Worst case scenario you never hear from her again but atleast you can keep your dignity and pursue another woman that won't mess you about.

Im in similar situation at the moment and sometimes women can be a pain in the ass....me you and every other guy here DESERVE BETTER.

 

[Dice52987]

Personally, I would've nexted her the first time she flaked. There are way too many women in the world that you should be pursuing instead of worrying about this one girl who keeps blowing you off. You're letting her get away with it so she's going to keep doing it. She's calling you everyday because you're giving her the attention she wants, without her actually having to do much. In short: Forget this girl, find a new one (or five.)

 

[jophil28]

if she flakes again, what shall I do or say to her?

and

why is she calling me everyday n texting me but keeps flaking me?

OK, sit down because you need a slap.

THis woman is NEVER going to present herself in person ...NEVER !
Do you know how I know that ?

Answer- because she is making excuses instead of making an effort.
A woman who really wants to see you will do whatever it takes to meet you.
IF she cannot make it, she will apologize and then suggest another time . A woman who is toying with you will FLAKE on the first meet and then contact you later with an excuse which she has had time to concoct.

Women love online connections because they get what they want most without leaving the house , and that is male attention and EGO stroking. This chick is showing all the signs of doing just that.

Son, you are being played.

Read up on the Two Strike Rule before you get royally used .

 

[horaholic]

I dont know. She could be telling the truth in this matter. Dental problems are a legitimate excuse. Because of the situation, I would try one more time.

Edit: I missed the part about the third flake, cuz she feels sick. I would cut contact, and if she calls you, cordially tell her you have better things to do with your time, than hear excuses and be flaked on, and get off the phone immediately. BE sure to add the good ole' : "you're not that hot, and you're not the only girl I know." This MIGHT whoop her into shape, and MAYBE she will do something to make it up to you. It happens, but very rarely.

You may not bang her, but you can deal her ego a nice blow before you go.

 

[Eternal87]

thanks for your responses guys, I believe she just flaked me out tonight..
I call her tonight but no response and straight to voicemail...

I have a feeling she gave me the sick excuse, and maybe i'll feel better excuse becuz I'm her backup plan.. Maybe if her actual date was to cancel on her, she'll call me n let me know shes not feeling that sick anymore. At least I see clearly now. I don't like to assume without proof, but I do have a gut feeling.

 

[jophil28]

. I don't like to assume without proof, but I do have a gut feeling.

Dude, you don't need "proof", you just need evidence which is strong enough to form a conclusion.
DO you think that she would have flaked like this is she had a dinner offer from Bradley Pitt ?

Did you ever consider that a woman who flakes always claims to have an 'emergency' about one hour before you and she were scheduled to meet?

I am amazed that some wannabe feminist bytch has not written a book entitled," Creative Date Flake Tactics for the Modern Woman"....

 

[Eternal87]

jophil28 thanks a lot for your insight. I appreciate it. so she never did call me back tonight or even a text. Totally flaked out on me the third time.

Why do women flake? is it becuz of low IL? or is it becuz this girl is an attention wh0re?

she often complains how guys hit on her and stuff like that. and told me last night she had enough of "boys" because they hate her and she would like to become a lesbian.

 

[jophil28]

jophil28 thanks a lot for your insight. I appreciate it. so she never did call me back tonight or even a text. Totally flaked out on me the third time.

Why do women flake? is it becuz of low IL? or is it becuz this girl is an attention wh0re?

she often complains how guys hit on her and stuff like that. and told me last night she had enough of "boys" because they hate her and she would like to become a lesbian.

IT does not matter "why" she acts like she does. What matters is that she does not deserve your time and attention. NExt her. SHe sounds like a self absorbed loonie.

Read my sig line below.

 

[Eternal87]

LOL she msged me today saying I didn't text or call her while she waited the whole day for me to call... Even though I did call. and She never called back. And when i asked her why she didn't call me. she said "i figured you didn't want to" LOL what woulda gave her that idea? I was the one setting up plans with her this whole month and she flaked on me every single time. now shes saying she figured i didnt wan't to. when all she had to do was go on msn cuz i was online the whole day. WOW this girl is full of sh1t.

 

[jophil28]

LOL she msged me today saying I didn't text or call her while she waited the whole day for me to call... Even though I did call. and She never called back. And when i asked her why she didn't call me. she said "i figured you didn't want to" LOL what woulda gave her that idea? I was the one setting up plans with her this whole month and she flaked on me every single time. now shes saying she figured i didnt wan't to. when all she had to do was go on msn cuz i was online the whole day. WOW this girl is full of sh1t.

You are fortunate that you have encountered one of 'them' so early in your young life. AS bizarre as it seems , a lot of guys end up marrying this kind of wackjob and living a life of desperate bewilderment.
You have the power of choice - cut her loose or continue to deal with more of the same.

 

[Eternal87]

jophil28 i did exactly wut u said and nexted her. You have some great wisdom buddy. It's always good to take advice from the wise and experienced.

not only have i encountered this type of girl.. i encountered a BPD 2 months ago... oh man did i encounter drama when dumping her...

 

[Igetit!]

I agree with Jophil28. I think she should be nexted.

Seems to me that she's just after attention.


The thing is though,when you first approach a girl,the slate is clean.

She doesn't know you or know anything about you. You could be a "bad boy",a wimp,a "nce guy",the man of her dreams,a "creep"...the list is endless.


Since she has yet to form an opinion of what type of guy you are,that means it's THE WAY YOU APPROACH HER which will help her to decide which guy you are.



This girl HAS CHOSEN to become a attention WH0RE...with YOU.



She doesn't do that with every guy. If she did,she's be a virgin.



If she decided to go attention wh0re on you,that means that there's a good chance there was a "weakness" in your approach that she detected and decided to exploit.



I think you should just continue to pursue other girls. However,I don't think that this girl is just going to let YOU,that is,her source of attention just walk out of her life without a fight.




I believe she will call you again,or text you to get another "fix" of attention.



If she does,you should have something ready for her.



Check out the information is my signature. Just click on the word "THIS!" and have a look at it. If she continues to contact you and you follow what I've got outlined in my signature,you could possibly flip this girl from AW to attraction.




I still say to move on,but if she starts calling you,you'll have to deal with it anyway. You can use my sign info while at the same time,pursung other girls.

 

[Eternal87]

thanks for the tips Igetit, I currently am ignoring her messages on IM right now. and I'll try what's said in ur sig. I am tired of women who lie to me like this. She must think I'm really stupid for believing all her BS excuses.

 

[Eternal87]

So now shes IMing me giving me a bunch of compliments saying how smart and great I am LOL but I did what u guys said and totally ended the convo in about 1 minutes time.

is it normal for her to be trying to flatter me like this?

Sorry guys i know i ask alot of questions, but I'm new to this DJ thing and I'm trying to learn all I can

 

[tonyrunkzz]

It's obvious that you like this girl and you want to know where this could lead and there could be a bunch of reasons why she's doing what she do , for one she met you online she probably is interested but a little bit nervous of meeting you face to face.

we do have alot of weird people in this world you know i would simply say talk to other women and don't cut contact with her to see where things lead and if things don't work out and turns out to be what everyone says it is then it wouldn't be bad because you would have bin dating other women. Don't put all your apples in one basket.:rockon:

 

[jophil28]

So now shes IMing me giving me a bunch of compliments saying how smart and great I am LOL but I did what u guys said and totally ended the convo in about 1 minutes time.

is it normal for her to be trying to flatter me like this?

Sorry guys i know i ask alot of questions, but I'm new to this DJ thing and I'm trying to learn all I can

She is trying to wheedle her way back into your affections by stroking your ego. Women believe that men have a "fragile ego" which is easily shattered, and therefore also easily manipulated by them for their advantage. THis is another social belief that women have concocted in an attempt to convince themselves that they have power over men which in fact they do not have.
Telling a man that he is, " smart and great.." is analagous to a guy telling a woman that she is "hot and gorgeous .."
Smooth words contrived and delivered in the hope that the listener will warm to the flatterer.

Curiously ,women generally have much more bloated egos than men. Most of you know how gullible and susceptible women are to flattery, sincere or otherwise. That is their ego being fed.

Lets talk a little more about female ego. How many of you have run across a fat HB5 with an entitled attitude who is convinced that she is just the goods?
By comparison, how many guys who are similarly just as 'plain' as that HB5 demonstrate an undeserved belief in their attractiveness or their social value ?