Need some advice on how to man up!

[Aristippus]

Always - ALWAYS - pay attention to who people are, and what they respond to. Most people are all about the status, challenge, prize, looks, and other superficial, shallow ****. These are not quality people, and don't give a **** about how good or genuine you are. Nor do they respond favorably to such behavior - despite feeling ENTITLED to it.

With a sense of entitlement, there's no room for appreciation. The two just don't mix. You said a lot of women say one thing but respond to something else which reminds me of something. Have you ever noticed that many women will want you more if they believe there's the possibility or risk that they could lose you? If she believes she already has you but is worried that some other woman (or women) might try to steal you from her or that you might walk out on her. I'm not saying that a woman wants a man who will never stick around.

It's like she knows she has you but there's a slight fear in the back of her mind that maybe she won't have you for long. Many of them want the security of a relationship and they want a man they are attracted to, with a small dose of the fear of losing you. This might be a clumsy way of putting it but it's the best way I can describe it.

 

[soulforge]

With a sense of entitlement, there's no room for appreciation. The two just don't mix. You said a lot of women say one thing but respond to something else which remind me of something. Have you ever noticed that many women will want you more if they believe there's the possibility or risk that they could lose you? If she believes she already has you but is worried that some other woman (or women) might try to steal you from her or that you might walk out on her. I'm not saying that a woman wants a man who will never stick around.

It's like she knows she has you but there's a slight fear in the back of her mind that maybe she won't have you for long. Many of them want the security of a relationship and they want a man they are attracted to, with a small does of the fear of losing you. This might be a clumsy way of putting it but it's the best way I can describe it.

so how do you create this fear in a long term relationship & how do you make her feel that she does not completely have you?

 

[floydb25]

With a sense of entitlement, there's no room for appreciation. The two just don't mix. You said a lot of women say one thing but respond to something else which remind me of something. Have you ever noticed that many women will want you more if they believe there's the possibility or risk that they could lose you? If she believes she already has you but is worried that some other woman (or women) might try to steal you from her or that you might walk out on her. I'm not saying that a woman wants a man who will never stick around.

It's like she knows she has you but there's a slight fear in the back of her mind that maybe she won't have you for long. Many of them want the security of a relationship and they want a man they are attracted to, with a small does of the fear of losing you. This might be a clumsy way of putting it but it's the best way I can describe it.

Yes, I have. It seems as though most women want what's in high demand, and difficult to attain... even if it's all just perception, AND the person providing such a rush is a complete d1ckcheese. They're all about the ego, jealousy, competition, and prize mentality - just as much as guys. Not a lot of them want what's readily available and easy to acquire... doesn't matter WHEN this happens, either. For a lot of bishes, if there's no chase or challenge - there's no attraction. Experienced this a LOT.

****, even when I was down in the dumps, hated women, had all these issues, and acted like a complete nutjob - bishes were going nuts, because of the challenge and prize mentality. But the same bishes I chased like no other - who were responsible for this behavior - wanted nothing to do with me. The same bishes who also complained that "no one cared" and "all men are jerks".

You pick up on this ****, and find out what REALLY works as you go through these processes.

 

[Jariel]

hey jariel was there any point near the end of this relationship, where you felt she was mis treating you (i.e) disrespectful? no too concerned about your feeling?

did you feel like you had given her too much control over you?

and was there any point where she treated you so badly, that you know you should have dumped her there & then, but still chose to hang around, or to salvage the relationship?

Not really. She was never critical or disrespectful in anyway. In fact, she was very loving, affectionate and appreciative a lot of the time and when I helped her out she would say how she felt like we were becoming like a real family and how much she loved us doing stuff together. Her only obvious fault was that she was just cold and dismissive sometimes, depending on how stressed she was. But there was a time when she was moaning about her ex and I told her I didn't want to hear it and I'm not her shoulder to cry on. She seemed really angry at me, claiming I was not supportive enough and I couldn't cope about hearing about her ex. At that point I have to say I felt like I was being used as an emotional tampon...or at least she tried to.

Otherwise I saw no problems until we went on a long weekend away with the family. Nothing of significance actually happened that weekend and she was very keen for me to be there at first and the first night we had great sex. But the following days she seemed distant with me and I ended up spending more time talking to her parents and with the kids than I did with her.

After the holiday she text me to say how much she loved me being there and thanked me for making it special. This was also the last time she said she loved me. But the next day she cancelled our plans for meeting that week, cancelled a trip we had planned a some weeks later and seemed to make excuses to avoid seeing me. She stopped saying "I love you" (only significant because she used to say it all the time).

I saw her again 2 weeks after our holiday for just a couple of hours and she said how gorgeous I was looking and she wanted to tear my clothes off. But at the same time I felt like she wasn't too keen for me to be there and when I kissed her goodnight, it had no feeling or passion.

And that was the last time I saw her. Obviously this is all very confusing for me. It seemed like such a sudden and inexplicable change. My only way of understanding it is that her doubts had been building up and then looking at me on holiday just confirmed what she was thinking. Or it's down to the antidepressants she'd started taking a couple of weeks before. She'd said she felt numb and unmotivated for anything. She's never taken them before and this break up and loss of feeling towards me does seem to coincide with her taking them. Not that they would excuse her behaviour, but they may have contributed.

 

[MaddXMan]

I don't know, every time I've dated a woman going through the divorce process or fresh from signing the paperwork, I've been fried. I think one could do everything right and it would still fail, because their head isn't in a good place yet. But, most women want to enter into a new relationship quickly. They just can't handle being alone. So sure you could have made mistakes, but it was a tough situation more prone to fail than success.

 

[Jariel]

I don't know, every time I've dated a woman going through the divorce process or fresh from signing the paperwork, I've been fried. I think one could do everything right and it would still fail, because their head isn't in a good place yet. But, most women want to enter into a new relationship quickly. They just can't handle being alone. So sure you could have made mistakes, but it was a tough situation more prone to fail than success.

I think you could be right. The divorce definitely contributed to our break up a lot and I could see her getting physically ill with stress. I read up a bit about it so I could try and understand and I also believe there's a lot of emotional turmoil involved about having failed at marriage and even time to mourn the loss of their relationship.

If it was clear that this had caused us to break up and she needed time to recover, I could handle it a lot better. But it wouldn't explain why she's been looking for other guys. Surely another guy is the last thing she would want at this time in her life.

 

[floydb25]

Meh... even though your emotions are going haywire, and you want to know all the details - you're never going to figure everything out. It's not going to make sense. Never does. It's gonna feel unfair and confusing. Just gonna keep bringing back painful memories & heightened emotions every time you think & analyze - which you are going to do regardless.

Heart break definitely sucks. My over-sensitive ass took 3 years to get over the last lunatic ***** **** ***** player slut ***** hooker. Haven't dated anyone since, but I've grown quite the contempt for people.

Definitely teaches you a lot, and why most people don't want to go down that path again. Dunno why it has to be so ****ty and futile to trust & give fully, and expect the same in return.

 

[soulforge]

Meh... even though your emotions are going haywire, and you want to know all the details - you're never going to figure everything out. It's not going to make sense. Never does. It's gonna feel unfair and confusing. Just gonna keep bringing back painful memories & heightened emotions every time you think & analyze - which you are going to do regardless.

Heart break definitely sucks. My over-sensitive ass took 3 years to get over the last lunatic ***** **** ***** player slut ***** hooker. Haven't dated anyone since, but I've grown quite the contempt for people.

Definitely teaches you a lot, and why most people don't want to go down that path again. Dunno why it has to be so ****ty and futile to trust & give fully, and expect the same in return.

wow 3 years? how long was you with her floyd

 

[floydb25]

wow 3 years? how long was you with her floyd

That's the f'd up part... only 3 months of pure toxic emotional chaos. I fell super fast & super hard to yet another crazy, slutty, fake, hot, bad-boy seeking, immature, severely damaged, nutcase player with daddy issues.

But I think it was everything compounded together... Fake friends, toxic environments full of stress & negativity from losers & *******s, people judging, criticizing & controlling, previous heart breaks and failed relation****s... just lost ALL emotional energy, hated everything & everyone, and went quite bezerk on a lot of those ****suckers. The emotions pretty much bounced around, but most of the focus was on her & other women.

But now I know how they felt, 'cause I experienced the same **** from everyone - including them - and turned out the same way. Oh, the irony. It was never this or that failed relationship, with some stress and drama - it was EVERY failed relationship & friendship they ever had, with mountain loads of baggage, abuse, drama, and chaos. Most of them didn't even WANT relationships, but I still tried saving them, got caught WAY up in the white knight "challenge" & tolerated all of their **** in the process. All while seeking advice & support from the biggest, most fake, dysfunctional *******s out there - only to be torn apart even more. MISTAKE.

It all came to a head & erupted at once. **** was just building and building as these experiences kept occuring. Even the faggot I moved down here with (and since disowned) was a piece of **** *******.

 

[Ronaldo7]

I said QUALITY. Do you think those gym slvts are quality women? Of course it will attract hot chicks. Think about the situation the OP is in, he just got run over by a low quality chick that I can only assume he thinks was pretty hot.

It was his fault. He should have known better and not held any attachment to something that can be replaced so quickly and so easily. He had expectations... Lol. He got disappointed. He should've known its just a physical thing with these type of girls.

 

[MaddXMan]

Meh... even though your emotions are going haywire, and you want to know all the details - you're never going to figure everything out. It's not going to make sense. Never does. It's gonna feel unfair and confusing. Just gonna keep bringing back painful memories & heightened emotions every time you think & analyze - which you are going to do regardless.

Truth. You could drug her up with truth serum and the best answer you would likely get is "I don't know"

Her reasoning is not going to be logical and make sense, it's entirely emotional.

 

[Jariel]

I keep feeling like I'm getting over her and I start to feel better, then all of a sudden I just sink to rock bottom, like when I wake in the morning and realise what's happened and I feel like my heart is being pulled out again.

I keep thinking this has to be a mistake, a misunderstanding or it's all been done in retaliation to try and hurt each other. I keep thinking back to our good times and how sure I was that she'd be in my life forever...and how she once thought I'd be in her life forever.

Today I feel like the anger has faded and left me vulnerable. I feel in such a dark place again this morning.

I see all the reasons I'm best moving on, I see all the mistakes I made being with her, and I see all the new women I can be dating and the great experiences I have ahead of me...and yet, right now, I feel like I'd take her back if she could just give me an explanation.

Foolish I know, but I guess this is typical of a break up and why so many guys turn unstable, start stalking, calling and texting all the time.But I'm still not tempted to get in touch and if I did, I know it would be pointless because no words or masterful speech is going to change the situation or how she feels. I'm thankful I deleted her number though, just in case.

My goal right now is not to fix things, but to get out of this emotional slump and get on with my life and start going on some casual dates.

 

[Aristippus]

soulforge: "so how do you create this fear in a long term relationship & how do you make her feel that she does not completely have you?"

***Without realizing it, Espi partially answered your question.

Espi: "Absolutely...I'm convinced that in order to truly attract the most beautiful women, you have to be totally willing to lose them."

*** Let me explain. This isn't really something you can fake. You just have to do it. It can be LEARNED through repetition and understanding..... Of course, the prerequisite is that you have to be dealing with a woman who is already attracted to you. No one is afraid to lose something they never wanted in the first place. The attitude you have when you don't have to deal with someone or something you never wanted to begin with is "Good riddance!".

Also, strangely enough, the attitude you have when you don't have to deal with someone or something that you USED TO want, but no longer want, also happens to be "Good riddance!". This is why people break up. One or both parties are no longer happy with the situation. But I'm straying from my original point.

The first ingredient is the desire. This is where we start. Another strange thing is that the same behaviors and attitudes that women find attractive are the same things that make them fear losing you. Being willing to walk away usually comes from a place where you have certain things you will and will not tolerate. It also comes from a place of self-respect and also from a place where, even though you might enjoy this particular woman, you don't worship the ground she walks on, she's not the center of the universe and you do realize that if things went bad in the relationship, you could enjoy your time doing other things.

You could simply enjoy being single without a woman, having free time to pursue other interests or you could choose to meet other women. I never,ever,ever endorse cheating. What I do reccommend is, even when you're dating, to take mental note of attractive women that you see, but to do so without being a flirt and without being disrespectful to the relationship. Just take a mental note of the women that are attractive and realize that there are plenty of women out there.

I also reccommend thinking about all of the things you could do with your free time and all of the things you could avoid doing or wouldn't have to do if you no longer had a woman in your life. Maybe you'd have more freedom or more free time. Maybe you wouldn't have to visit her grandmother or maybe you wouldn't have to put up with a certain measure of b.s. that you deal with now. Even with quality women, there is a certain amount of b.s. to deal with. Even if it is a tiny amount and the good far outweighs the negative, there may be certain things you put up with.

Maybe being in a relationship with the woman you're with now brings with it extra expenses you didn't have before. Maybe there are certain compromises you have to make in order to be fair to everyone involved. The idea is that the loss of a woman might be a gain in other areas. Finally, you should have a set of behavioral standards for women. These standards are sacred and too many serious violations of these standards too consistently mean it's time for you to get rid of her. Why? Because she will be more trouble than she's worth. This is why, if you tell me "Man. The sex was great!" I would say "Maybe so, but at what cost? Let her make some OTHER man miserable!".

There's a saying I've heard and you probably have too. “No matter how good she looks, somebody, somewhere is sick and tired of putting up with her $hit.”.

Ok. This is Part 1 of my response. I'll put up Part 2 later.

 

[European-DJ]

I keep feeling like I'm getting over her and I start to feel better, then all of a sudden I just sink to rock bottom, like when I wake in the morning and realise what's happened and I feel like my heart is being pulled out again.

I keep thinking this has to be a mistake, a misunderstanding or it's all been done in retaliation to try and hurt each other. I keep thinking back to our good times and how sure I was that she'd be in my life forever...and how she once thought I'd be in her life forever.

Today I feel like the anger has faded and left me vulnerable. I feel in such a dark place again this morning.

I see all the reasons I'm best moving on, I see all the mistakes I made being with her, and I see all the new women I can be dating and the great experiences I have ahead of me...and yet, right now, I feel like I'd take her back if she could just give me an explanation.

Foolish I know, but I guess this is typical of a break up and why so many guys turn unstable, start stalking, calling and texting all the time.But I'm still not tempted to get in touch and if I did, I know it would be pointless because no words or masterful speech is going to change the situation or how she feels. I'm thankful I deleted her number though, just in case.

My goal right now is not to fix things, but to get out of this emotional slump and get on with my life and start going on some casual dates.

You have been such an inspiration for me earlier on, and often I wondered what happened, and where you went.

The things you are writing, the feelings your are experiencing and the 'morning' depression, is the exact same thing I fell. My situation is a bit different, since I dumped my girl because It came to my attention that she was dating someone else in the same time, and when I confronted her and told her to pick one of us, she picked him.

The thing is, and I guess it is the same for you, that it is the feeling of betrayal, the felling of giving them everything they wanted, giving yourself 100%, and the next day they are cold, gone, out of your life and moving on like 'You and her' never was.

Sometimes it is a cold world we live in, but trust me (and you know this is true), the tunnel looks bright up from behind but you gotta keep moving!

In 1-2 months when she realizes what she has let go of, she will get desperate to get it back. But remember, if you ever go back, you will just find yourself back on this site whining and bitshing even worse than this time.


Good luck Jariel, I really hope that you move on; it is hard, but your situation is not unique, there are at least a dozen other guys, alone on this forum, who is experiencing the same thing as you right now!

 

[soulforge]

soulforge: "so how do you create this fear in a long term relationship & how do you make her feel that she does not completely have you?"

***Without realizing it, Espi partially answered your question.

Espi: "Absolutely...I'm convinced that in order to truly attract the most beautiful women, you have to be totally willing to lose them."




hello aristippus thanx for the detailed answer

i have to agree with you.. tolerating bullsh@t is the worst thing to do... she must know, that you are willing & will walk away at anytime.. but in my case, i don't think she really cared much if i walked away...

because she is a stubborn, controlling b@tch, who is pretty confident she can get another man & replace me... also all her close friends are b'tches too, so she has this bad influence around her & they tell hjer, she can do better than me.. it's a lose lose situation

i wish i had stuck to my guns & dumped her earlier when she started to become disrespectful


i want to give you 3 examples of bad behaviour that took place within one week, which pushed me to the edge... to the point where i felt i had no choice but to dump her!



EXAMPLE ONE - ok about a year ago i met her best friend, she seemed like a nice woman, had a good chat with her... when she left my ex asked me what i thought of her... i said she seems like a nice lady
couple of days later, my ex rings me & tells me, that her best friend does not like me or trust me, because of my ethnicity... her best friend basically told her, that she should get rid of me.

that people of my ethnicity are no good & she should dump me! as you can imagine i was sooooo pissd off about this. i was nice to this woman & this is how she treats me & generalizes me like that

now this friend of hers has never apologized to me... my ex likes me to stop over at her house 4 times a week... but she kept inviting this friend over whilst i was there... i could not stand being in the same room as this woman, as there was tension & i just could not stand being around her

so had no choice but to go sit upstairs & sit in the bedroom like a banished little boy for an hour or two, while my girlfriend & this racist bigot are drinking tea down stairs & having a laugh

or sometimes i would have to go for a long walk outside, till her friend has left.

i found this really degrading... why should i have to leave the house, or hide upstairs in the bedroom? i had to do this on at least 4-5 different occasions

my girlfriend should not be inviting her over, when i am there? she knows how uncomfortable i feel & why should i have to hide for the sake of her bigot friend

so i asked my girlfriend not to invite this woman over, when i am there, as i hate having to leave the house or go sit upstairs...

her response was this - YOU HAVE GOT NO CHANCE! I WILL NOT STOP MY FRIENDS COMING OVER, WHEN YOU ARE HERE.. NO CHANCE
NOBODY IS TELLING YOU TO LEAVE THE HOUSE OR GO TO THE BEDROOM

then she started getting argumentative & swearing so i dropped the subject.

i was gutted to hear this... she rather not put her friend out of her way, but is not too bothered about me having to hide...



EXAMPLE TWO - she recently came off facebook, because we was always arguing about it... why? because i do not use facebook, never have wanted to... she on the other hand loves facebook

the problem is, she has loads of bodybuilders on there she talks to... hunky looking fit guys... when i ask her, why she talks to these men, she tells me they give her advice on health & nutrition & training... funny thing is.. i am into bodybuilding myself.. i workout 4-5 times a week.. i am not huge, but have got a good body...

so i ask her, you could always ask me about training or nutrition... but according to her, she does not regard me to be a body builder, coz i am not huge lol

anyhow this became a problem, her chatting to all these guys... i confronted her about this

HER RESPONSE - I WILL TALK TO WHAT EVER MAN I WANT, NO MAN TELLS ME WHAT I CAN & CANNOT DO!!!

MY RESPONSE - I DUMPED HER

but 2 weeks later, i get the whole "i love you" and "i miss you" crap... so stupidly i took her back


she then came off facebook & told me, in order to save our relationship, she would never go back on facebook again... she told me she does not even like facebook & is glad she came off it....

anyhow her son is having some emotional problems & has been saying some strange things on facebook...

so guess what, she is back on facebook, she claims she needs to keep an eye on her son.

i can't really argue with that... so she agrees she will only be talking to her family & kids on facebook, but NO MEN

something told me, it will only be a matter of time, till she is talking to bodybuilders etc again... anyhow turns out she has now added her EX BOYFRIEND on facebook... she was seeing this guy about 15 years ago

so she claims she will not be adding any me to her facebook, then her f#cking ex boyfriends ends up on there... i tell her this could become a problem... she gives me all this crap about we are just friends

on the other hand, she hates the idea of me talking to exes and is not happy about it... turns out her ex boyfriend has split up with his wife.... so why contact my girlfriend?? maybe he is heartbroken or lonely & thinks he could get her back

i just don't think she should be chatting to her ex!


EXAMPLE THREE - my ex does not really go out drinking much... simply because she claims she is too old for it now (she used to work in a club) and used to go out all the time, before she met me

but when she got together with me, she told me, she does not want me to be this guy going out to bars/clubs etc and she does not want to do the same either... she rather neither one of us went out drinking

anyhow her friends invited her out for a drink & she wanted to go with out me... i found it funny, how she does not like me going out, but now all of a sudden it's ok for her to go out... but i was cool with it & said hey have a good night

anyhow she got changed that night & she wore the "SLUTTIEST" of tops...

now my ex is blond with big boobs... i mean this top she wore was wall to wall titties... i told her, that top is not ideal for you tobe wearing in bars & pubs

so she just ignored me, tried to make out i was just being silly.. and went out like that anyway... not giving a fuk about how i felt

i know she wore that top, so she would be getting attention from men.. why else would she wear it

whilst she was gone, i sat there & though long & hard about the relationship & came to the conclusion, that i cannot put up with this type of disrespect anymore.. i could tell she is testing me, to see how much she can get away with

she thinks she has me & i,m not going anywhere... the way things was going, i was certain at some point she will lose interest & dump me or start banging other guys


so i decided not to hang around for her to screw me over... so later that night i dumped the b@tch like used kitty litter!

i miss her like crazy some days, i miss the amazing sex... but she was killing myself esteem... and was in constant stress & turmoil


so guys do you believe i did the right thing? or have i over reacted???

 

[Jariel]

You have been such an inspiration for me earlier on, and often I wondered what happened, and where you went...

....Good luck Jariel, I really hope that you move on; it is hard, but your situation is not unique, there are at least a dozen other guys, alone on this forum, who is experiencing the same thing as you right now!

Thank you for your post buddy! It really does help to know other guys have been through the same and that my situation isn't unique or the end of the world. I think that's why I take comfort from being back here, seeing so many guys who have gone through this and re-emerged happier and stronger for the experience.

That is my aim, to make this emotional pain stop and then start to move forward.

A lot of people are saying I should just go and keep busy for the sake of it, but what I find is that while I'm doing other things, I have less control and clarity over my thoughts. Images of her just pop into my mind, they start a train of thought and the pain is back. At least by venting, trying to gain clarity, reading and writing these posts, I have conscious control over my thoughts and I'm able to put it in perspective. It does make me feel better to be honest and reacquainting myself with this forum inspires me to get back to my former self as soon as I can, start seducing girls, flirting and dating just like I used to.

I see some great times ahead to be honest and I know there will come a point where I feel a sense of freedom. As you say, I just need to keep moving.

 

[Aristippus]

hello aristippus thanx for the detailed answer

i have to agree with you.. tolerating bullsh@t is the worst thing to do... she must know, that you are willing & will walk away at anytime.. but in my case, i don't think she really cared much if i walked away...

because she is a stubborn, controlling b@tch, who is pretty confident she can get another man & replace me... also all her close friends are b'tches too, so she has this bad influence around her & they tell hjer, she can do better than me.. it's a lose lose situation

i wish i had stuck to my guns & dumped her earlier when she started to become disrespectful

You're welcome soulforge...... Never sell your soul for sex. It's never worth it. Tolerating b.s. and uncivilized behavior is a double-edged sword. On the one hand, the behavior itself is a pain to deal with, so by not tolerating it, your overall mood and mental health will benefit. Also, not tolerating bad behavior is good for your self-esteem and self-respect. An unexpected side-effect is that it actually makes her respect you more and will increase the probability that she will be more attracted to you.

Women will lose feelings for you if they lose respect for you. A woman can not feel attracted to a man she doesn't respect or at least that she doesn't respect on some level or to the best of her ability. Some people just lack respect in general for anyone so the best you'll ever get from them is the best they are capable of.

Basically what I'm saying is that by not tolerating her crap, it's more likely she will respect you, and more likely she will continue being attracted to you, and this also means, more likely that she will fear losing you since you can only fear losing something that you want. The desire for something comes before any possibility of fearing loss. Although in a case like this, the woman sounds like a nutjob so dumping her is in your best interest no matter how much she wants you.

because she is a stubborn, controlling b@tch, who is pretty confident she can get another man & replace me... also all her close friends are b'tches too, so she has this bad influence around

Stubborn, controlling women don't make good relationship material. Notice, you said her friends were b*tches. Birds of a feather flock together. Or even if she wasn't like that to begin with, choosing the wrong friends and continued exposure to bad attitudes, behaviors, etc. can rub off. With anyone and especially with women. People and especially women, seem to have a herd mentality.

The funny thing is, if a woman has strong feelings for you, she can know that she can find another man but won't be able to bear the thought of losing you. A stubborn, controlling woman wouldn't be worth holding on to anyway so her feelings would be irrelevant in your decision to leave. Anyway, I say, good riddance to bad rubbish.

 

[soulforge]

i hear what you are saying aristippus... but seriously i have stood up for myself on many occasions & called her on her bad behaviour lots of times... i have dumped her twice before & made it clear i will not tolerate bull****.

she then has bombarded me with, i love you, miss you all that crap & i have taken her back.


the problem is, if i call her on something... she believes i am controlling her, or telling her what to do... she then becomes angry & accuses me of bullying or controlling...

her friends are all pretty much low quality woman... one of them sleeps around takes cocaine & cheats on her boyfreind.. all her friends are mostly low quality foul mouthed people.

she spends every single day with these friends!


also i believe this is all about control to her... i will give you an example...

if i ever **** up & we fall out & then i go to her and apologize... she then believes she has the power in the relationship, because it was me who went to her to say sorry...


she then starts exerting that power (i.e) i will do what i want etc etc

it's all f@cking games with her!

anyhow i have dumped her... i just need to stay focused, stay away from her & try to leave her in my past


as for the sex... yeh it was great... put not worth the price of losing your dignity, respect, making yourself ill with stress & worry