Need some advice (edited properly)
Edited for easier reading :-
First of all I would like to mention that I am an rAFC only after discovering mASF around 3 weeks ago. The following probably contains alot of "sad" moves on my part. (I live in Moscow, Russia, but I am not Russian)
I am currently interested in this friend (lets call her O) I have had over the past 8 months. I met her through her friend (lets call her A) that I was screwing at the time (not really dating since I saw her once a week and I found out that she already was in a relationship through O, after which I stopped talking to A causing them to fall out)
When I met O she had just ended a 4 year relationship with a guy that she was planning to get married to in November, and at that time was looking for some fun. I had a friend (lets call him N) that she wanted to get with, but he was not interested.
We all used to hang out together during the week, and almost always used to club together over weekends. Since at the time I had no real interest in her (I found her attractive etc, but that is it) we got to know each other very well as friends. O and N just remained friends.
About 3 months later I realized that I actually liked O. Since we were friends she used to tell me about all her dating "experiences". Up until this point she had not screwed anyone.
One day I decided to tell her how I felt, and she frankly said at the time that she was not ready for an LTR. So I took that as an indirect LJBF.
On one of the following weekends we went clubbing together in a big group. She got abit drunk and was grinding with one of the guys from the group. I was doing my own thing, but when I went to the dancefloor I saw them kissing, so I staged a walkout. On the way out I saw her sitting at a table with N, but I just walked passed them without barely glancing at them - she burst into tears. N caught my arm - I told him I was leaving because of her, but he could stay back she is your friend.
She called me the entire week after that trying to appologize for her behavior - I ignored her calls. I only "relented" at the end of the week after she called me 3 times the same evening, and made it clear that I was hanging out with other chicks.
After this point I decided to treat her as one of the guy friends. I started to get as many telephone numbers as possible, and I was "dating" around 5-6 chicks at the time, and I gave her all the details (this was before I discovered mASF so I did not do too well with those girls).
About 6 months passed as us just hanging out as friends (at that time I had invited her to go on a trip with 25 of my other friends to Goa, and she had agreed), then about 2 weekends ago she invited me over to her place (I used to go there regularly), for a small party where there were 2 other guys 1 other girl all from work. She had called me right after I had a date (she was aware of it) with another girl. Both guys got completely smashed - one left for home, and the other collapsed at her place. The other girl went puking home. We put the semi-conscious guy in the guest room, and we decided to go clubbing. I was supposed to go back to her place to drag this drunk guy out.
At the club things got slightly hot between us. Major grinding. I did major kino on her, and we did quite a few slow dances. There was another guy who really liked her (a regular at the club), and when he tried to dance with her, I neutralized him by dancing with him, and pulling her away.
We left the club at closing time, and when we found a taxi she had this troubled expression on her face. I asked her whats up? She said that I could not go home with her, and she started blushing. I played the fool, and innocently tried to insist, and asked her whats up?
She said no no, I will tell you tomorrow
The next day we went for a movie together with a girlfriend of hers. After I got home I decided that the best way to handle it was to be direct about it. So I called her and talked about that night. She then said yes there was a nice connection, and then she asked me about all those girls that I was "dating". I simply told her that to find the right person you need to meet/date many people, and I realize even more now that person is you. And I reminded her that she had a FB that she had told me about. She said I wish I never had told you about that Then the conversation went on about feelings. She then said, I am not sure that I am your type, since the kind of girls that I have seen you date are totally different (they are more on the *****y side). Then I said, well how do you know "my" type? I am the best judge for that. Then I went on about how great a girl she is. Then she said look if we start dating, what about or friendship? I don't want that to screw up! I said well nothing in life is guaranteed. Frienships can end, anything can, and sometimes things don't end. You just cherish the best moments - and I think this will be great! Then she said look, you know Im going to Singapore next weekend for 1 or 2 weeks, so may I use that time to think about it? To which I said sure.
We made plans to meet up during the week, but that never happened -either she was busy or I was. She then told me later during the week that her trip was actually delayed to the following weekend, and that she would only go for a week. We met up on Saturday night and went clubbing together (just the 2 of us). Again same great kino/grinding. She mentioned that she had recently found out that her Fiance is about to get married - I did not encourage the conversation further. This club as 2 adjacent bars. Unfortunately this time she gets abit more drunk than usual, but I know that about her so I don't bother with it. She then goes to the adjacent bar to get some space presumably. I don't bother and dance by myself abit. Then I look over and I see this dude grinding with her, and she did not seem to mind it. So I went up to him and shoved him aside. He then asked her in Russian if I was her boyfriend. She said no, but he is a very close friend of mine etc. He then grabs her by the arm and takes her to the dance floor - I give her the eye, and she said don't worry Im just dancing with him - I will make things clear to him. *Ahem*. I wait like a chump at the bar for 5 minutes, then decide that this is totally disrespectful. I go over to the dancefloor and start dancing right next to her, almost in his face. He gets pissed off and says something rude to her, so she gets pissed off and we both walk off. Realizing that she is half drunk I don't talk about it and decide to keep my cool. We go back to the bar, and funnyboy comes back after about 30 minutes and pulls her away rather forcefully - at this point she is quite damn drunk (she goes with arms flailing everywhere). I march off after them and this time I get abit tougher with the guy. She then tells me look don' worry I will take care of this. I go back to the bar and wait 5 minutes again. Now I decide that it is too much. I grab her handbag from the counter, walk right up to her and I said: who the hell is this? I am leaving, and shoved the bag into her hands. She very hesitantly said, if you must go then I guess you should. I said fine, and I turn around and start to walk off. She leaves the guy and walks ahead of me, so I grab her by the arm and I asked her what the hell is wrong with you? She then said look, I told you I am not ready for a relationship right now. I said well it is not about that? She then said again hesitantly look if you want to leave then I cannot stop you. I then replied, fine I will leave if that is what you want. Then she said no, no I don't want you to leave. I am really sorry about my behaviour, it is really wrong on my part. Then I said yea, would you like me to dance with every babe here? You know I can do that. Would you like it if I did that in front of you?? She gave a quiet no. Then I said look, if the dude is a friend of yours then go dance with him. I will not stop you. Then she said no, he i'nt a friend, and I won't dance with him. She then gave me a hug, and we went back to the bar. The guy came back again one more time, but this time she politely told him no. We then went back to dancing and grinding. We left the club at 6:30 am-closing time. She was pissed drunk by this time, and I had to carry her to a cab to send her home.
After such disrespectful behavior I decided that I should not call her at all, and if she called just to be friendly, cool, and abit distant. On Sunday another common friend (lets call him J) called me. I told him about what happened, and he told me he would talk to her about it (he owes me big time). J called her Monday afternoon on the pretext to meet up with her as he had not seen her over the past week or so. O immediately asked him if I had mentioned to him what happened Saturday night. He said that she sounded very anxious on the phone, and said that she had done something very wrong on Saturday night, and felt that I was pissed off at her. J then said that he should discuss that with her once they met up. They finally never met up. Anyway I was betting that she would definately call me before leaving.
Edited for easier reading :-
First of all I would like to mention that I am an rAFC only after discovering mASF around 3 weeks ago. The following probably contains alot of "sad" moves on my part. (I live in Moscow, Russia, but I am not Russian)
I am currently interested in this friend (lets call her O) I have had over the past 8 months. I met her through her friend (lets call her A) that I was screwing at the time (not really dating since I saw her once a week and I found out that she already was in a relationship through O, after which I stopped talking to A causing them to fall out)
When I met O she had just ended a 4 year relationship with a guy that she was planning to get married to in November, and at that time was looking for some fun. I had a friend (lets call him N) that she wanted to get with, but he was not interested.
We all used to hang out together during the week, and almost always used to club together over weekends. Since at the time I had no real interest in her (I found her attractive etc, but that is it) we got to know each other very well as friends. O and N just remained friends.
About 3 months later I realized that I actually liked O. Since we were friends she used to tell me about all her dating "experiences". Up until this point she had not screwed anyone.
One day I decided to tell her how I felt, and she frankly said at the time that she was not ready for an LTR. So I took that as an indirect LJBF.
On one of the following weekends we went clubbing together in a big group. She got abit drunk and was grinding with one of the guys from the group. I was doing my own thing, but when I went to the dancefloor I saw them kissing, so I staged a walkout. On the way out I saw her sitting at a table with N, but I just walked passed them without barely glancing at them - she burst into tears. N caught my arm - I told him I was leaving because of her, but he could stay back she is your friend.
She called me the entire week after that trying to appologize for her behavior - I ignored her calls. I only "relented" at the end of the week after she called me 3 times the same evening, and made it clear that I was hanging out with other chicks.
After this point I decided to treat her as one of the guy friends. I started to get as many telephone numbers as possible, and I was "dating" around 5-6 chicks at the time, and I gave her all the details (this was before I discovered mASF so I did not do too well with those girls).
About 6 months passed as us just hanging out as friends (at that time I had invited her to go on a trip with 25 of my other friends to Goa, and she had agreed), then about 2 weekends ago she invited me over to her place (I used to go there regularly), for a small party where there were 2 other guys 1 other girl all from work. She had called me right after I had a date (she was aware of it) with another girl. Both guys got completely smashed - one left for home, and the other collapsed at her place. The other girl went puking home. We put the semi-conscious guy in the guest room, and we decided to go clubbing. I was supposed to go back to her place to drag this drunk guy out.
At the club things got slightly hot between us. Major grinding. I did major kino on her, and we did quite a few slow dances. There was another guy who really liked her (a regular at the club), and when he tried to dance with her, I neutralized him by dancing with him, and pulling her away.
We left the club at closing time, and when we found a taxi she had this troubled expression on her face. I asked her whats up? She said that I could not go home with her, and she started blushing. I played the fool, and innocently tried to insist, and asked her whats up?
She said no no, I will tell you tomorrow The next day we went for a movie together with a girlfriend of hers. After I got home I decided that the best way to handle it was to be direct about it. So I called her and talked about that night. She then said yes there was a nice connection, and then she asked me about all those girls that I was "dating". I simply told her that to find the right person you need to meet/date many people, and I realize even more now that person is you. And I reminded her that she had a FB that she had told me about. She said I wish I never had told you about that
Then the conversation went on about feelings. She then said, I am not sure that I am your type, since the kind of girls that I have seen you date are totally different (they are more on the *****y side). Then I said, well how do you know "my" type? I am the best judge for that. Then I went on about how great a girl she is. Then she said look if we start dating, what about or friendship? I don't want that to screw up! I said well nothing in life is guaranteed. Frienships can end, anything can, and sometimes things don't end. You just cherish the best moments - and I think this will be great! Then she said look, you know Im going to Singapore next weekend for 1 or 2 weeks, so may I use that time to think about it? To which I said sure. We made plans to meet up during the week, but that never happened -either she was busy or I was. She then told me later during the week that her trip was actually delayed to the following weekend, and that she would only go for a week. We met up on Saturday night and went clubbing together (just the 2 of us). Again same great kino/grinding. She mentioned that she had recently found out that her Fiance is about to get married - I did not encourage the conversation further. This club as 2 adjacent bars. Unfortunately this time she gets abit more drunk than usual, but I know that about her so I don't bother with it. She then goes to the adjacent bar to get some space presumably. I don't bother and dance by myself abit. Then I look over and I see this dude grinding with her, and she did not seem to mind it. So I went up to him and shoved him aside. He then asked her in Russian if I was her boyfriend. She said no, but he is a very close friend of mine etc. He then grabs her by the arm and takes her to the dance floor - I give her the eye, and she said don't worry Im just dancing with him - I will make things clear to him. *Ahem*. I wait like a chump at the bar for 5 minutes, then decide that this is totally disrespectful. I go over to the dancefloor and start dancing right next to her, almost in his face. He gets pissed off and says something rude to her, so she gets pissed off and we both walk off. Realizing that she is half drunk I don't talk about it and decide to keep my cool. We go back to the bar, and funnyboy comes back after about 30 minutes and pulls her away rather forcefully - at this point she is quite damn drunk (she goes with arms flailing everywhere). I march off after them and this time I get abit tougher with the guy. She then tells me look don' worry I will take care of this. I go back to the bar and wait 5 minutes again. Now I decide that it is too much. I grab her handbag from the counter, walk right up to her and I said: who the hell is this? I am leaving, and shoved the bag into her hands. She very hesitantly said, if you must go then I guess you should. I said fine, and I turn around and start to walk off. She leaves the guy and walks ahead of me, so I grab her by the arm and I asked her what the hell is wrong with you? She then said look, I told you I am not ready for a relationship right now. I said well it is not about that? She then said again hesitantly look if you want to leave then I cannot stop you. I then replied, fine I will leave if that is what you want. Then she said no, no I don't want you to leave. I am really sorry about my behaviour, it is really wrong on my part. Then I said yea, would you like me to dance with every babe here? You know I can do that. Would you like it if I did that in front of you?? She gave a quiet no. Then I said look, if the dude is a friend of yours then go dance with him. I will not stop you. Then she said no, he i'nt a friend, and I won't dance with him. She then gave me a hug, and we went back to the bar. The guy came back again one more time, but this time she politely told him no. We then went back to dancing and grinding. We left the club at 6:30 am-closing time. She was pissed drunk by this time, and I had to carry her to a cab to send her home.
After such disrespectful behavior I decided that I should not call her at all, and if she called just to be friendly, cool, and abit distant. On Sunday another common friend (lets call him J) called me. I told him about what happened, and he told me he would talk to her about it (he owes me big time). J called her Monday afternoon on the pretext to meet up with her as he had not seen her over the past week or so. O immediately asked him if I had mentioned to him what happened Saturday night. He said that she sounded very anxious on the phone, and said that she had done something very wrong on Saturday night, and felt that I was pissed off at her. J then said that he should discuss that with her once they met up. They finally never met up. Anyway I was betting that she would definately call me before leaving.
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