need some advice from experienced DJ's

[derby1]

Ive got a woman who has been showing super high interest. infact shes been trying to qualify herself as a G/f I would say..

however since our 2nd date by the beach and back to mine(which she appeared to love with her body positions/facial expressions and aura)....she has totally Pulled back.

2 things........

1) I told her I liked her(she told me a billion times) and I said lets meet a 3rd time (during our 2nd date.) this is unusual of me to say these things but whatever, I blurted them out when we were having a good laugh. (however I know she has the worst attention span Ive met so i probably put my cards out too much)

2) she seemed to be took back by escalation and implied LMR, I had her top off and boobs out, by the end of the night, but she said she wasnt expecting this from me & doesnt want to be pumped and dumped.(even though shes no virgin).(I remained indifferent but her aura has now changed)

Shes now gone from sending me absolute paragraph messages, to absurd messages. this happened right the morning after so I know she wasnt in another castle!

she still initiates and I did up until yesterday, but her DMs have gone stupid

ie ) "Just took my sister some flowers x" OR "works hectic x"

how do i handle my pullback to get the lay on the future date?,
what should my reply DM's be like?
and when should i mention the future date, or shall i Ice it for a while?

"

 

[dude99]

Ive got a woman who has been showing super high interest. infact shes been trying to qualify herself as a G/f I would say..

however since our 2nd date by the beach and back to mine(which she appeared to love with her body positions/facial expressions and aura)....she has totally Pulled back.

2 things........

1) I told her I liked her(she told me a billion times) and I said lets meet a 3rd time (during our 2nd date.) this is unusual of me to say these things but whatever, I blurted them out when we were having a good laugh. (however I know she has the worst attention span Ive met so i probably put my cards out too much)

2) she seemed to be took back by escalation and implied LMR, I had her top off and boobs out, by the end of the night, but she said she wasnt expecting this from me & doesnt want to be pumped and dumped.(even though shes no virgin).(I remained indifferent but her aura has now changed)

Shes now gone from sending me absolute paragraph messages, to absurd messages. this happened right the morning after so I know she wasnt in another castle!

she still initiates and I did up until yesterday, but her DMs have gone stupid

ie ) "Just took my sister some flowers x" OR "works hectic x"

how do i handle my pullback to get the lay on the future date?,
what should my reply DM's be like?
and when should i mention the future date, or shall i Ice it for a while?

"

Pull back your texts and your communication. Reel in your attention you were giving her. Be busy.

You are killing challenge by telling her you like her. She has to wonder how you feel in order to care. When you destroy challenge her interest will drop.

Pull back for a week. Just be busy and give her 10 percent of the attention you have been. Then in a week ask her out. Do not bring any of this up. No more telling her your feelings. In a week when you ask her out her behaviour will tell you everything you need to know.

Oh yeah. Spin plates. Is she your only option The moment?

 

[Toddz]

Ignore what she says, especially her telling you she likes you. It means nothing. Women will love bomb you one second then feel differently the next.. It's just how they are.

I would proceed by not mentioning the other date or telling her you like her at all. I never tell a woman I like them, even if I've been dating them for months. Cut back your responsiveness by 2/3's and let her setup the 3rd date.

When the 3rd date does come up, have her directly come to your place for the lay.

 

[manfrombelow]

In cases like these, when the woman is pulling back, there's nothing you can do but accept it, ignore her, stop contacting her, and start dating other women.

And don't buy when she says she likes you or even loves you. Women's words are meaningless. Only their actions count.

And when, for whatever reason, she reaches out to you again, you invite her to your place. Anything other than a YES means soft next until next time.

 

[manfrombelow]

You are killing challenge by telling her you like her. She has to wonder how you feel in order to care. When you destroy challenge her interest will drop.

I do 100% agree. The moment you "propose" your true feelings to a woman, you are giving her all the power by killing off the challenge and mystery that she is hungry for, especially at the very beginning of the courtship.

 

[derby1]

You are killing challenge by telling her you like her. She has to wonder how you feel in order to care. When you destroy challenge her interest will drop.

Pull back for a week. Just be busy and give her 10 percent of the attention you have been. Then in a week ask her out. Do not bring any of this up. No more telling her your feelings. In a week when you ask her out her behaviour will tell you everything you need to know.

Oh yeah. Spin plates. Is she your only option The moment?

I know, I cant believe i even did it, I even know not to do it, but i blurted it out when we were having a laugh.

 

[derby1]

Ignore what she says, especially her telling you she likes you. It means nothing. Women will love bomb you one second then feel differently the next.. It's just how they are.

I know this, but you can usually tell when theres mutual attraction.

 

[Lookatu]

I told her I liked her

she seemed to be took back by escalation and implied LMR, I had her top off and boobs out, by the end of the night, but she said she wasnt expecting this from me & doesnt want to be pumped and dumped.

Shes now gone from sending me absolute paragraph messages, to absurd messages. this happened right the morning after so I know she wasnt in another castle!

Hate to say it it but this one seems done.

With the combo of you telling her you liked her and the fact that she didn't have enough desire or interest in putting out when she was in a position to, says everything right there.

Girls zig zag with their actions based on their emotions. She wasn't feeling it that night and that feeling will most likely still stay with her. I've had this happen before and you just have to accept that girls act like that and move on. This is nothing you can control.

 

[derby1]

With the combo of you telling her you liked her

cant believe All the BS women talk about on the dates, and one slip of my tongue has caused her interest to plummet lol

 

[Lookatu]

cant believe All the BS women talk about on the dates, and one slip of my tongue has caused her interest to plummet lol

That's how they are now a days since they got abundance, entitlement, spoiled, so many options, they are delusional in seeking perfection that isn't there and will disqualify anyone on a drop of a dime that doesn't sit right with them.

Unfortunately with girls these days with this type of attitude, it's always a losing battle for guys as they will be constantly interviewing you without any end.

Beta guys will always feel the need to walk on egg shells because of this. Alpha type dudes will have a IDGAF attitude but won't get as far with gals or won't be able to hang on/get to as many gals like before.

Yeah it sucks...

 

[MoMoses]

how do i handle my pullback to get the lay on the future date?,
what should my reply DM's be like?
and when should i mention the future date, or shall i Ice it for a while?

Very interesting case! Reminds me a lot of one of my last ex-gf's

First of all: you already know what to do.. pull back and mirror her actions. Let her think about you and what you are doing and with whom. She can't do that if you reply all the time, especially when she's texting you bullcrap things like 'works hectic x" and you still respond. Don't do that! Let her work for your attention and make her invest in her texts so she can get a reaction from you. If you reply to everything she sends you she might aswell just send you fart noises and you'd still reply.

I do know you know this yourself btw, just wanted to state the obvious.

Pull back for a few days, then show her attention again, some light banter, some jokes.. she has to feel very good she heard from you. And then, bam.. you're out of there again. Mess with her head.

See, an ex of me did the same. She was very, very into me. Texting me things like "I want to please you" and "I'll make you come so fast baby".. instant boner material. You know what i'm talking about, right?

I fell for her, way too fast and told her I liked her, just like you did.. and lo and behold: she went cold on me and pulled back. I pulled back aswell and didn't initiate any contact anymore. Just replied to what she was texting me. She ended up asking me when she could see me again, so we pinned down a date.

Would you believe it? That biitch then flaked on me one hour before we were to meet. I wished her all the best on the phone and hung up. Never texted her again (or that was the plan/mindset)

3 months went by and guess who's texting me again? Guess who wants to meet up to "catch up"?

They have to feel that they can lose you man. Otherwise they have all the power and they don't want that. They have to think/feel that they have to work to keep you into their lives and both you and I had messed up by telling her we liked her way too soon.

There's only one remedy for this: subtle letting her know she still has to work for your attention. subtle Letting her know that you can walk if she's not putting in enough effort anymore. By all the while remaining a chill, happy, fun to be around kinda dude.

This isn't over yet, but you need to act. You can still turn this around man.

 

[derby1]

Very interesting case! Reminds me a lot of one of my last ex-gf's

First of all: you already know what to do.. pull back and mirror her actions. Let her think about you and what you are doing and with whom. She can't do that if you reply all the time, especially when she's texting you bullcrap things like 'works hectic x" and you still respond. Don't do that! Let her work for your attention and make her invest in her texts so she can get a reaction from you. If you reply to everything she sends you she might aswell just send you fart noises and you'd still reply.

I do know you know this yourself btw, just wanted to state the obvious.

Pull back for a few days, then show her attention again, some light banter, some jokes.. she has to feel very good she heard from you. And then, bam.. you're out of there again. Mess with her head.

See, an ex of me did the same. She was very, very into me. Texting me things like "I want to please you" and "I'll make you come so fast baby".. instant boner material. You know what i'm talking about, right?

I fell for her, way too fast and told her I liked her, just like you did.. and lo and behold: she went cold on me and pulled back. I pulled back aswell and didn't initiate any contact anymore. Just replied to what she was texting me. She ended up asking me when she could see me again, so we pinned down a date.

Would you believe it? That biitch then flaked on me one hour before we were to meet. I wished her all the best on the phone and hung up. Never texted her again (or that was the plan/mindset)

3 months went by and guess who's texting me again? Guess who wants to meet up to "catch up"?

They have to feel that they can lose you man. Otherwise they have all the power and they don't want that. They have to think/feel that they have to work to keep you into their lives and both you and I had messed up by telling her we liked her way too soon.

There's only one remedy for this: subtle letting her know she still has to work for your attention. subtle Letting her know that you can walk if she's not putting in enough effort anymore. By all the while remaining a chill, happy, fun to be around kinda dude.

This isn't over yet, but you need to act. You can still turn this around man.

Well put, I agree it was just an in the moment mistake.

Ive noticed aswell, I use the word "like" to much, in all walks of life, and its probably interpreted wrong,.

we have an old TV programme quote in the UK "you knowzzzzzz I like ya"

and i think its a bit of a stuck quote, I need to remove it

 

[MoMoses]

how do i handle my pullback to get the lay on the future date?,
what should my reply DM's be like?
and when should i mention the future date, or shall i Ice it for a while?

Forgot to answer these questions!

1) Pull back by mirroring her. If this means no contact for a few weeks, so be it. It's key not to become the chaser right now because she already feels like you want her more than she wants you. (eventhough she tricked you by showering you with her emotions and love.. they do that)
2) Keep your DM's light and fun. You want her to think about your DM's. They have to trigger her emotions in a way. Happy emotions in this case because bad emotions can do the trick aswell, but not in this case I think.
3) I would ice it for a while. If she starts to invest in her texts again and when you feel she is working for your validation I'd suggest meeting up with her, but only then because again.. you don't want to be chasing and giving her the feeling you're hoping to see her. If she steps it up in her messaging you can assume that she wants to see you. This is textbook Corey Wayne btw

 

[derby1]

Forgot to answer these questions!

1) Pull back by mirroring her. If this means no contact for a few weeks, so be it. It's key not to become the chaser right now because she already feels like you want her more than she wants you. (eventhough she tricked you by showering you with her emotions and love.. they do that)
2) Keep your DM's light and fun. You want her to think about your DM's. They have to trigger her emotions in a way. Happy emotions in this case because bad emotions can do the trick aswell, but not in this case I think.
3) I would ice it for a while. If she starts to invest in her texts again and when you feel she is working for your validation I'd suggest meeting up with her, but only then because again.. you don't want to be chasing and giving her the feeling you're hoping to see her. If she steps it up in her messaging you can assume that she wants to see you. This is textbook Corey Wayne btw

will do , but i was going to be a little less fun in DM, I feel i've been over fun at times

 

[MoMoses]

will do , but i was going to be a little less fun in DM, I feel i've been over fun at times

I would strongly advice against this!

If you're less fun all of a sudden she'll know it's because of her. She'll know she got an emotional reaction out of you and subconsciously she'll think this is weak and you're just like other dudes she's met in her life. You don't want her to see you as the other guys. This will only confirm to her she has you figured out and with no mystery there's no game or thrilling movie.

Never let her know she got to you

I planted this phrase into my head a long time ago. Don't even remember in what book I read this, but it stuck to me because this is the truth. I've noticed this time and time again.. be unfazed by her shiitty behavior, hold your frame and remain a chill, happy dude. That's highly attractive my friend.

edit: by not reaching out to her and chasing her she'll get the picture aswell and this is way more powerfull than turning "less fun" and basicly admitting to being butthurt

 

[derby1]

This will only confirm to her she has you figured out and with no mystery there's no game or thrilling movie.

I noticed something very interesting, she put amazon prime on , and she looks at the thumbnails for the future programmes, and tells her its removed the suspense so she doesnt watch it.

confirming what we already know