NEED personal help!

[ink_wizard]

Just for those of you who know me and have been reading my past posts, things didn't work out with that girl, we are not even friends anymore and pretty much hating on each other

What ive come here to ask is, how do you get girls to respect you? it seems all the girls i get with all seem to treat me like sh1t in the end after i do so much for them and then when its over they have the decency to turn around and say that im a "Creep" because i want to eventually settle down and get married and because i have been inlove with them. I dont understand? by the way theyre all 19-20 and im 23

Its like i always seem to attract girls who are so into me at the start and everything is going so well then they turn cold and leave me for other people or totally disrespect me, making me hate on them

And yes i do work out, i have hobbies and dreams but i still attract the same loser girls who fu*k me over and spit me out, ive had enough and dont know what to do anymore or whats wrong with me

 

[floydb25]

Sounds like you're going after women who are of the wrong age and type. Don't be nice to and fall in love with snobby, shallow, immature *****es. 19 year olds fit this bill down to a tee. They're all about the excitement and status; the qualities you are looking for and present to them doesn't exist in their world. All the younger girls I dated are exactly like you describe. They still have the high school mentality and maturity. They'll make fun of, and look down upon you for not being hot, popular, exciting, challenging, etc. They're still in their prime (looks wise), and just wanna get laid and have fun. They don't care about decent guys. They don't think intelligently or know much of anything at all. They're young and horny, and love drama. They can also be extremely cruel, rude, and judgemental. Anyone who isn't exactly like them (ie, shallow, fake, and retarded) is considered below them, and not good enough. Ah, how delusional and self-absorbed young people are...

Either change the type of women you're going after, OR become what they are attracted to. Those are your only 2 options. If you're looking to marry these hot, young chicks - its not going to happen. That's not what they're about. They're still in the party lifestyle. Being this nice guy won't get you anywhere with them - other than how you describe. Now, an older, more mature nice girl, on the other hand...

It's all about what you want the most. Can't have it all. Something has to be sacrificed; there has to be a balance. Usually looks must be lowered and age must be highered to find a quality chick. Nothing too extreme, of course.

 

[Mike32ct]

Floyd nailed it perfectly as usual.

Read through his post a few times for it to fully sink in.

You don't have to date someone "old," but maybe find a chick at least your age (if not a few years older) who is more serious about relationships, schooling and/or her career and not so much a party chick.

 

[floydb25]

Mike: Oh, not all... You don't have to go to any extremes. They don't have to be fat, old, unattractive, or any of that. There are lots of cute, intelligent, mature nice girls around the age of 25+. Not ones who *****, treat people like ****, act like ****s, and only claim to be nice - as they prance around playing the victim and claiming everyone ELSE is a selfish jerk. The pot calling the kettle black; birds of a feather; *****es attract *******s; etc.

The problem is, seeking after something you're not familiar with, or feel like you don't deserve. Just because something is familiar - doesn't mean its good. When you're used to dating hot *****es - that's what you view relationships as being like. Then, when a nice girl comes along - its uncharted territory, and you bail. But, those roller-coaster of emotions, snobby attitudes, insulting, neglecting, etc - none of that is healthy or normal. It only seems that way to you. That's why you keep choosing the same kind of person over and over. It's automatic. This is what you're used to, and all you chase after.

Gotta break the pattern. It all starts and ends with you. You are the one chasing after these *****es, getting burned, and *****ing about them - only to chase after them, and repeat the same process over and over. They are likely doing the same things with *******s. But you are the one chasing after this kind of person. They can be as hypocritical and ***** about the same things they are until the cows come home - you are still the one seeking after this kind of person. Ergo, you are no less innocent than they are. Everyone caught up in this vicious cycle is *****ing about someone *****ing about someone else.

You might also want to take a good, long hard look at yourself, and see if you are really any better than these girls you're chasing after. If not, make the necessary changes to become a quality person. Never forget that like attracts like. Everyone views themselves as the innocent victim getting caught up in the wrong people. But, just how innocent and nice are they, really? They wouldn't be attracting this kind of person over and over if they were. Being nice to a ***** does not make you a nice person. How do you treat those who are nice, or people in general? Most people don't realize that they belong to the same type they keep *****ing about. They just blame them for everything, and claim they are the *****es - when they are no better than they are, and use / abuse / avoid genuinely nice people all the same - while *****ing about *****es doing the same things to them.

Gah. Now I have a headache.

 

[ink_wizard]

Floyd you make some very good points and im agreeing with you all the way there. but how does one go in my case where both of my exs have teamed up to rubbish me and bad mouth all over the internet and are making personal attacks on me? one of them has bi-polar and the other is just a b1tch...i keep getting disprespected no matter how nice and civil i try to be, i often wonder if maybe i should be an a$$hole to them and they might come around?

 

[floydb25]

The real question is, why do you even want these *****es? They're never going to stop being *****es - even if they are attracted to you. Unless you're planning on being an ******* forever - while they remain *****es forever. Sounds healthy.

Being an ******* and attracting low quality chicks isn't going to change them into nice girls. That's why they are attracted to *******s in the first place - they're *****es! It's also why they're not attracted to YOU.

You got it all wrong, my friend. You want to attract nice girls, or you will keep running into the same problems over and over. Every relationship you have will be unstable, chaotic, and full of drama - because these girls are. The problem is them, and they are not going to change. It doesn't matter who you are, or what you become. A ***** is always going to be a *****. They only put on their best front for you in the beginning, or sweet talk whenever they want something. So, if you start acting like an ******* - these girls might sweet talk to get you to become nice - only to turn right back into *****es once you do.

As soon as you reveal your true colors of being a nice guy - they will reveal theirs of being a *****. All you are both doing is pretending (her being nice, you being an *******). Can't pretend forever. Hence, why these girls become such *****es after a while - its who they really are.

Don't sacrifice your dignity and self-respect for a *****. They're no prize, not worth attaining, and have nothing to offer you. You don't need to live up to their shallow standards, or win them over. You aren't "not good enough" because a ***** doesn't want you. *****es aren't special; they're at the bottom of the barrel. Raise your standards and self-esteem.