Need opionions on ultamatum : follow up of the is she a tease post

[rubberband]

Also I want to be with her exclusively but I don't know what her reaction will be so I talked about keeping things open in the beginning. I want to be with her but I don't want her holding out on sex as the relationship progresses right now we're exclusive but not in a relationship, There's a reason she's been holding out for so long and I want to find out

Here's the Ultamatum:

What’s up

I came to a realization about things between us I’d rather have us be open and less restricted by exclusivity where we can still see other people and still have the option to chill together because I’d rather let things progress then rushing into it, Don’t get me wrong I am feeling you but I need to know where your head is at, I have other options as far as females in my life and I gave you the benefit cause I saw something in you and we have been chilling for a minute, Honestly each time we are together and things get heated and I want to go all the way but you stop me, If you’re not feeling me that way let me know and don’t lead me on that way cause I can be making moves elsewhere, If anything we can be friends instead because I’m not feeling this teasing stuff, If there is a reason like you don’t want to get hurt then I’ve more than proven that I wouldn’t leave after one night if its another reason let me know if not let us go our separate ways it was fun while it lasted

 

[flexion_]

Please don't do this..

Don't give a girl ( who you have never even slept with ) and ultimatum about sex. You shouldn't even be the one bringing up all this relationship crap with her.

Listen, make your attempts. If you rejects you then fine, go find other women and bump her down the list. That will get her attention - not talking to her in some emotional diatribe.

There is no need for this approach. You have zero chance of it doing anything. And it will most likely draw you into a big drama match with a pissed off female - good luck.

 

[Life-Trainee]

Do NOT use such logical interchanges with chicks... Sub-communicate!

Show with your actions that your exclusivity requires effort on HER part.

Sarge other chicks...

 

[rubberband]

how?

How do I show her she needs to put more effort

 

[rubberband]

more advice

how do I show her I want to be with her without being an AFC cause I approached her as a jerk, cause I like her and want to pursue something but I don't know how to show her that and I dont want to buy her gifts and stuff, the best idea I have is spending time with her having fun , Istill keep busy and dont give her all my time but now that she's closer do I still need to play the games

 

[GloriouslyInsane]

Try getting just a bit "softer" so she can feel more comfortable around you (only shortly) then bring on the game again.Try little things like a minor compliment.

 

[JC9]

I read your other thread and have a couple of questions.

First though, do not send the ultimatum letter. It's a classic AFC move, and will make things much much worse.

Now, it seems like the girl is into you, or at least was. You had multiple opportunities to have sex with her, how did you handle the LMR each time?

I'm guessing most of this stems from how you've been handling yourself in the physical stage.

Next question, what do you want from her? Is it just sex, or is she someone you'd like to pursue dating?

If you just want sex, continue to chill with her and correct your physical seduction techniques. Slow the interaction down, get her aroused then back off a bit, then get aroused more, back off abit, etc. Done properly there is no LMR.

If you want to date her, take her out on a real date. You don't have to pay for her if you don't want, but make it a nice fun date.

Again, this really comes down to what you want. Figure it out and lead the interaction that way, don't wait for her to tell you what she wants and don't get frustrated if she doesn't want what you do. Always ACT in accordance with what you want, she will then REACT based on whatever she feels emotionally from your actions.

Don't supplicate and take her out for a fancy dinner just in the hopes that she'll finally drop her pants, but there is nothing wrong with a nice fancy dinner if she's a cool girl who you like and have fun with; sex is the afterthought.

 

[d9930380]

Don't do anything with her

Next time when you're "chilling" - Don't try anything, try to kiss her etc.

If she tries, just say that it goes nowhere and it just frustrates you and then say that you just see her as a friend at this point.

That's not an ultimatum exactly but it will have the same effect. Remember you need to **** with her head - play them the way they play us. If she really likes you, she will put out to keep you, if she doesn't, she won't do **** and probably you will find that she doesn't even want to "chill" with her.

 

[JC9]

If she tries, just say that it goes nowhere and it just frustrates you and then say that you just see her as a friend at this point.

While that may work if she really likes you and wants to keep you, it's a lame move.

You're basically saying that she needs to put out easy for you because you lack the skills to get her so turned on that she rips off your clothes and practically rapes you.

 

[d9930380]

It's a tease test.

The dude has tried everthing else, from his previous message it sounds like this girl is probably just a nice girl who doesn't want to be ****ed and left. But he wants to **** her, only he knows if he wants something more. If he doesn't, he shouldn't hurt her and move on. That's what I said before.

However he isn't going to put much more effort in, he's ready to give up. Hence the ultimatum, I was just trying to give him a way of saying that without him sounding like a bastard.

If she calls him that, all he has to do is say: "That's not what I meant, I wouldn't ask you to do that, therefore I thought we could stay friends", then ask her then what she wants.

When you want to say something to someone and you don't want them to be sure you said it for fear of their response. Say something that can be denied, taken another way, therefore they won't know if you really said that and you can deny it if you need to.

Besides It's sometimes good to make the girl angry in this situation, if you can recover from it, people reveal there true feelings when they're angry.

Remember he thinks she might just be teasing him. At this point he needs to do something to see if he's wasting his time or not.

 

[rubberband]

help

well I want to date her but we have to be hush hush cause of drama invloving her sorority sister, so now we are underground with our interactions, socially she has a rep to uphold as a sister and it seems like she wants to see if I'm genuine before proceeding , I made a bad move of dating her sorority sister to see her true colors, It also seems like she's balancing that conflict with the potential of us being together.

As for LMR usually I feel up her vagina from the outside of her pants until she stops me with a firm hold, then i continue kissing then i escalate again.

I do not mind sex being an afterthought but I dont want it to not happen in the relationship. Is she using not sleeping with me to keep me around and if so does that mean she has a high interest level because she doesnt need the drama

Also shes planning on working in the town of our school during the summer and she said she wanted to live with me for a month if she gets the job and that the summer will be the test, before she said this she also said I dont want to bring up the wrong word to turn you off like commitment or love but it seems like you are afraid to show something because you arenot expressing certain things (im paraphrasing) I would be ****y funny at times and I told her no PDA this makes me think she thinks Im afraid of commitment and after that converstation she said kiss me and I said no PDA baby ( after that I thought that , that was a bad move cause she was opening up a bit and I shut her down)