Need help understanding the sex dynamic...

[Genos]

Lately, I've been undergoing huge changes in my personality and sense of self. I've also been tossing aside many of my presumptions about life, careers and work, and about women. I've truly been trying to swallow the red pill, but I've become a bit disillusioned.

Read this reddit thread's comments...the whole thing:
http://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/23kvi2/women_of_rsex_that_like_it_rough_what_do_you_like/

Honestly, my mind is totally blown. People (and y'all) had told me women like rougher lovemaking, but just...wow. I honestly can't comprehend it. Since I was in my teens, I had thought women didn't enjoy hard fvcking, wanted 'gentle lovemaking', etc., all the usual sayings. This stuff has been drilled into my head for so long, it's incredible the stuff these women are saying in that thread.

You're probably wondering what my sexual experience level is; I'm a 21 year old virgin - had the opportunity to have sex once, literally had the girl on my bed, but was too damn chicken to go the distance. It's honestly become a traumatic memory for me, I'm somewhat scarred by it, the dumb mistakes I made following it, and the bucketload of missed opportunities I've had over the past few years and am finding it difficult to think about sex with women.

That reddit thread is even more disillusioning for me, because I can't see women's sexuality and desire in day-to-day life. The women I interact with are pretty much what you'd call 'good girls'; I go to a highly academic uni, so that may be a contributing factor, i don't know. But women keep their sexuality so well hidden that I honestly could not have predicted that they'd like this stuff.

Some of my own personality characteristics - I try to be kind to everyone I meet, and I sometimes go out of my way to help people where most others would just mind their own business (I've been criticized for this). It's also been ingrained into me to respect women very highly, and not hurt them or anyone, really. Domination in the bedroom and highly physical sex, taking charge and operating to fulfill my own desires foremost, seems kind of foreign to me. I suppose I could see myself doing it...maybe? I'm not sure...

I'm not sure what kind of answer or advice I'm looking for, just needed to spill some of what's been going on in my head. Any thoughts?

 

[logicallefty]

Most women like sex any and all ways: hard and fast, soft and slow, her in control, you in control, you name it. But what they like most of all is when you can give them the big-fat-O any way, and better yet, give it to them better than the last guy(s) gave it to them.

Don't be fooled by the "good girls". They aren't any different. They like getting railed hard by a c0ck just as much as the obvious wh0res. They are just reserved about it. My favorite type!! The little geeky reserved ones..

Regarding the big-fat-O, check out my post #36 in this thread for a good technique that may help you get an O out of the next women you have a sexual encounter with:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?p=2193951

 

[LMFAO]

I have two plates that are highly into anal sex, an ex-girlfriend who loves to play bondage and use handcuffs in the bedroom and loves the taste of cvm, another one who gets really wet when watching porn together. That seems to be in the majority these days.

That said, I've had one or two girls who were crap at it as well and who think they were doing a favour giving a handjob, so I ditched them.

Fvck them well and they'll love you for it.

 

[RangerMIke]

Women love sex more than men do, and they can be VERY kinky. But not all women are the same they like different things, and the key to good sex is to read what they are responding to, if they trust you and love you they will do just about anything you ask, but YOU ARE THE one that has to make this happen. Don't expect a woman to come out and tell you that she likes this and that. Eventually when you've been with her a few times she'll start giving you clues... you you have to know how to read them.

You can find books on how to read a woman's body language in bed but the best teacher is experience. Truth is you know you're not doing things right when her interest level starts dropping off or she dumps you. Learn for this experience and move on to the next, get better with each women.

 

[Tictac]

http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/561877622.html

Read.

Learn.

 

[SgtSplacker]

All women and I do mean all women want a real man. A typical, insensitive, fark you rough and wipe my junk on the bed sheets before leaving her there and going for a beer... man.

They might complain because they always complain.

But make no mistake they all want a burly bearded type man to bang them hard and slap their arse.

She'll cry and leave but will always come back.

Woman ask for things they do not want, if you do what you want they complain. Then you try to make them happy and they lose respect for you and screw someone else. Stop trying to make them happy. It is their role to make you happy and to try to live up to your standards. They try to fight it but in the end it is the only way they are truly happy.

How can someone be happy if there is no structure and discipline in their life? You must create this for any woman.

This is the nature of our world, there is no changing it. You must bear the burden of leading on your shoulders. A leader does what he wants. A leader makes good decisions. A leader does not compromise. All woman want a leader in their lives that makes them feel like they are doing the right thing.

Supplication, kindness, compromise, and sensitivity are all the tools of a weakling. A weakling should not lead anything because he is unfit.

 

[Mike32ct]

OP: Great thread. I'm also really glad that you are seeing this now at 21.

Let me put it this way, I've NEVER heard of a women describe the gentle, lovemaking on rose petals guy as "good in bed."

Pretty much without exception, it's the rough guy that make women scream, orgasm, and brag to their girlfriends.

I would almost say that women are "less domesticated" and more primal and into their "inner caveman/cavewoman" than most men are. They just do a pretty good job at hiding it. It takes a fair amount of experience for men to see this.

That's not to say that she wouldn't enjoy some slow gentle sex once in a while in a relationship, but on the whole, it's really NOT what gets her motor running.

I think that, underneath it all, that is probably the reason why women aren't into "nice guys." Even if he has ok looks, on some level, she is turned off by the idea that he's too gentle and he won't F her that way she wants to be F-ed.

Looks stuff aside, if women REALLY loved gentle sex the way that we are brainwashed to believe, she would go to the bar and pick out the nicest, most gentle nerdy guy and take him home for a ONS. I don't see that happening though lol.