I've read about everything I could fine on the topic, but still am as clueless as can be.
Just a little backround...sorry if it's too long.
I am a "nice guy", 31 years old. She is 30 and dated a friend for about a year and a half. The friend is a real jerk and it wasn't easy for her to get out of it. I'm not really friends with him any longer. He calls me once in awhile, but I don't return the calls. It's been 9 or 10 months since they split. She also lost her mom to cancer last year.
We had always been friends, but not the closest, we talked once in awhile, but I kept a good distance for awhile. About 3 or 4 weeks ago we went to the shore for the day, her, me, and my roomate who she is friends with, but nothing else. It was getting late, but we didn't want to sit in traffic. My roomate fell asleep on the couch and at some point her and I were upstairs and in a bedroom. I layed down on the bed saying I wanted to see if it was comfortable. She layed down next to me and put her arm around me. We touched each other for awhile, and sooner or later my hands were on her breasts. She didn't stop me and said it felt good. After a little while either were going to stop or something was going to happen. She said "this isn't good, I can't do this right now." We stopped and everything was cool.
We started walking together the next week. Sometimes her sister and/or my roomate would walk too, but her and I walked every night.
Her and I went to the shore again, but just for the day.
Later that week when it was time to go walk it started to thunderstorm. She invited me over to watch a movie, then said the only DVD player is in her room, but that it was OK. We layed together in bed and watched the movie. We started to hold each other tightly, and I was rubbing her back and shoulders to which she said it feels really good. We ended up kissing, just once and it was a short light soft kiss.
At one point she said she said she was sexually frustrated and I was "driving her crazy." She wanted to act, but didn't feel right yet. She asked me if she was driving me crazy as well. I told her there was no reason to rush anything. I ended up being there from 11 pm to 6 am, and we only slept about an hour.
Then her work schedule got real hectic and I didn't talk to her the next day. The following day, Friday was busy for her too and she said she was going to stay in and had stuff she had to do around the house. I told her she probably needed some time to herself with thr week she had. We talked baout making lans for the holiday weekend and had a few different ideas.
I call her Saturday night and she doesn't answer or return message. Dummy me calls her again on Sunday but no answer, so I left a message saying I was going to go out and if she wanted to do anything to give me a call.
I talk to my roomate later that day and surprise, he's at the shore with her, and her family. It was last minute. I was hurt not that they went, but that she didn't at least call me to tell me she was going away or return my calls.
Monday she called and said they just got back and did I want to go see some fireworks with them, and I said sure I just have to drive home and get a shower I had been out all day. She got home and no one else wanted to go and she got tired and decided to not go. We talked for about 20 minutes on the phone and said goodnight at least 3 or 4 times, but kept talking.
Tuesday we went for our walk and started to talk about the situation. She said the following
She doesn't know what she wants.
She doesn't want to be pressured
She doesn't want anyone else in her life that she has to answer to
She feels weired out a little because her ex was a friend of mine.
She doesn't want to get hurt and doesn't want to hurt me.
She loves me, but doesn't know if she is in love with me.
She doesn't want any other guy, it's not that.
She said she wants to be friends and if something happens, it happens.
She said her shield was up and had no holes in it. I talked about my shield and she said she doesn't want me to put mine back up.
I asked her what should I do if she is sending me signals that she wants me to kiss her, and she said "I don't know what to say, I have no answer for that".
So now what am I to do. Did she really leave the door open, or was she letting me down easy. Is the friend the issue?
Thanks for any help. This one is special to me, and wife material in my eyes.
Just a little backround...sorry if it's too long.
I am a "nice guy", 31 years old. She is 30 and dated a friend for about a year and a half. The friend is a real jerk and it wasn't easy for her to get out of it. I'm not really friends with him any longer. He calls me once in awhile, but I don't return the calls. It's been 9 or 10 months since they split. She also lost her mom to cancer last year.
We had always been friends, but not the closest, we talked once in awhile, but I kept a good distance for awhile. About 3 or 4 weeks ago we went to the shore for the day, her, me, and my roomate who she is friends with, but nothing else. It was getting late, but we didn't want to sit in traffic. My roomate fell asleep on the couch and at some point her and I were upstairs and in a bedroom. I layed down on the bed saying I wanted to see if it was comfortable. She layed down next to me and put her arm around me. We touched each other for awhile, and sooner or later my hands were on her breasts. She didn't stop me and said it felt good. After a little while either were going to stop or something was going to happen. She said "this isn't good, I can't do this right now." We stopped and everything was cool.
We started walking together the next week. Sometimes her sister and/or my roomate would walk too, but her and I walked every night.
Her and I went to the shore again, but just for the day.
Later that week when it was time to go walk it started to thunderstorm. She invited me over to watch a movie, then said the only DVD player is in her room, but that it was OK. We layed together in bed and watched the movie. We started to hold each other tightly, and I was rubbing her back and shoulders to which she said it feels really good. We ended up kissing, just once and it was a short light soft kiss.
At one point she said she said she was sexually frustrated and I was "driving her crazy." She wanted to act, but didn't feel right yet. She asked me if she was driving me crazy as well. I told her there was no reason to rush anything. I ended up being there from 11 pm to 6 am, and we only slept about an hour.
Then her work schedule got real hectic and I didn't talk to her the next day. The following day, Friday was busy for her too and she said she was going to stay in and had stuff she had to do around the house. I told her she probably needed some time to herself with thr week she had. We talked baout making lans for the holiday weekend and had a few different ideas.
I call her Saturday night and she doesn't answer or return message. Dummy me calls her again on Sunday but no answer, so I left a message saying I was going to go out and if she wanted to do anything to give me a call.
I talk to my roomate later that day and surprise, he's at the shore with her, and her family. It was last minute. I was hurt not that they went, but that she didn't at least call me to tell me she was going away or return my calls.
Monday she called and said they just got back and did I want to go see some fireworks with them, and I said sure I just have to drive home and get a shower I had been out all day. She got home and no one else wanted to go and she got tired and decided to not go. We talked for about 20 minutes on the phone and said goodnight at least 3 or 4 times, but kept talking.
Tuesday we went for our walk and started to talk about the situation. She said the following
She doesn't know what she wants.
She doesn't want to be pressured
She doesn't want anyone else in her life that she has to answer to
She feels weired out a little because her ex was a friend of mine.
She doesn't want to get hurt and doesn't want to hurt me.
She loves me, but doesn't know if she is in love with me.
She doesn't want any other guy, it's not that.
She said she wants to be friends and if something happens, it happens.
She said her shield was up and had no holes in it. I talked about my shield and she said she doesn't want me to put mine back up.
I asked her what should I do if she is sending me signals that she wants me to kiss her, and she said "I don't know what to say, I have no answer for that".
So now what am I to do. Did she really leave the door open, or was she letting me down easy. Is the friend the issue?
Thanks for any help. This one is special to me, and wife material in my eyes.
