Need help breaking up with a nutjob

[Apollo]

Hey, I haven't posted here in a long time but I really need some help.

I met and started dating this girl a few months ago and everything was going good for the first month or two and then she started dropping little hints that things weren't quite what they seemed in the beginning. I'll give a little recap.

- I noticed a few cuts on her wrist and she told me that she used a razor because she didn't feel anything except that.

- Her job is getting outsourced but she doesn't realize it (anyone with half a brain can see that).

- Her parents told her she was an accident. She constantly tells me that she has physical fights with her mom/dad.

- We only talk once a week and usually see each other on the weekend. She still thinks we're in a relationship though.

- She has told me she's not really happy and she's only happy when she's with me.

- She doesn't eat (maybe 2-3 meals a week) because she doesn't like to eat and recently told me she passes out a few times a week. When I told her maybe she should start eating she told me that wasn't the reason. I'm pretty convinced she doesn't want to do anything mon-fri because we'll have to do something after work and she's either a) too depressed or b) we'll have to grab dinner. She is starting to get really skinny.

- She hasn't had a boyfriend for a year or two now and her past ones have abused her. Since I'm the first to actually be nice she's really latched on.

Now here's the problem, I am going to break up with her but if I break up with her outright I honestly believe she will send me a text message one day saying 'goodbye, I just slit my wrists' (I'm 100% serious). I've been trying to move it to the friends zone over the past few weeks but she's getting really depressed because of it. I have stopped having sex with her for the past month. This girl is seriously fu(ked in the head and I need out without her killing herself.

I honestly don't know what to do, any advice is appreciated.

 

[Interceptor]

There seems to be two things that may do the trick for you.

One may be:

Present her with a situation that makes her realize that you MUST take care of a high priority situation ASAP, and cannot spend time with her.
Meaning, something of a higher priority than her. She must realize that she has become Second in your life.
Here's a situation:
"My grandfather was in an accident and has amnesia. There's no one to take care of him, and my Dad can't make it. I have to go, I have to be there for him. He needs me."
Don't laugh. You have a potential suicide on your hands. You need to be a man, and be mentally and emotionally strong and deal with this.
You CAN lie. In fact, I doubt anyone will hold that against you.
However, try to make a lie that is based on true facts. Like if you do indeed have a grandfather. Things like that.


Second situation:

"I'm moving away. And I don't think I can handle a long distance relationship. I'm just not mature enough. And I don't know what I'll do if I get lonely."

Oldest trick in the book. But it can work. You must cease all contact with her, and disappear. Become the invisible man. You have to be strong, stoic, and resolve to really disappear from all your friends, and hangouts.
Any slip ups and you could have a nuclear bomb explode in your hands.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Now here's the problem, I am going to break up with her but if I break up with her outright I honestly believe she will send me a text message one day saying 'goodbye, I just slit my wrists' (I'm 100% serious). I've been trying to move it to the friends zone over the past few weeks but she's getting really depressed because of it. I have stopped having sex with her for the past month. This girl is seriously fu(ked in the head and I need out without her killing herself.

I honestly don't know what to do, any advice is appreciated.

Good gosh, man up and stop letting this woman control your life. If she's animate about killing herself there's nothing you can do about it. She didn't get into that mindset because of you so why do you think that you can do anything about it? Break it of and take back control of your life.

Oh yeah, next time be sure you qualify the woman thoroughly before getting involved with them. Sex with any woman isn't worth the heartache of believing that your actions are tethered to her livelihood. Remember Lorina Bobbit?

 

[seagull]

Become a "nice guy" get all clingy and desperate, call her every day, and no longer be a "challenge" and then she may get sick of you.

 

[DJDamage]

Now here's the problem, I am going to break up with her but if I break up with her outright I honestly believe she will send me a text message one day saying 'goodbye, I just slit my wrists' (I'm 100% serious)

You assume too much. You should still break up with her and you shouldn't have guilt about it. If she decides to take her own life then its her doing not yours.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Good gosh, man up and stop letting this woman control your life. If she's animate about killing herself there's nothing you can do about it. She didn't get into that mindset because of you so why do you think that you can do anything about it? Break it of and take back control of your life.

Oh yeah, next time be sure you qualify the woman thoroughly before getting involved with them. Sex with any woman isn't worth the heartache of believing that your actions are tethered to her livelihood. Remember Lorina Bobbit?

Damn, Francisco beat me to it. What I would have told you verbatim.

If she's going to off herself it's best to view from afar rather than her do the old murder/suicide trick. This b!tch sounds nuttier than a ten pound Christmas fruitcake.

 

[KarmaSutra]

Become a "nice guy" get all clingy and desperate, call her every day, and no longer be a "challenge" and then she may get sick of you.

Not in this case. Becoming AFC to lose a chick only works if she's turned on by the challenge of a DJ. This whacky broad would find it endearing and get more attached to him.

 

[mintxx]

How old is she?
"she doesn't like to eat and recently told me she passes out a few times a week. When I told her maybe she should start eating she told me that wasn't the reason."
Tell her if she doesn't eat or seek professional help you'll dump her.

 

[mintxx]

And call your lawyer!

 

[MacDiddy]

- She hasn't had a boyfriend for a year or two now and her past ones have abused her. Since I'm the first to actually be nice she's really latched on.

what you're doing might be classified as abuse by her. Chicks that cry abuse are fcuked up and will cry abuse at the drop of the hat in order to get sympathy...

What I would do, is get everything documented and witnessed, her condition see a doctor, pysch, whatever, people that can vouch for you and tell friends, keep a diary, **** that you can use in court.

 

[Last Man Standing]

Tell her that you'll be a supporting friend but that you want to see other women. You are not going to marry her so you have to depart eventually - sooner is better than later!

 

[Fenderules]

so you got yourself and emo girl.......... this is the perfect example of why the emo scene is so god dam ****ed up, lame, stupid and imature. I really hope this scene dies out

 

[Sachiel]

so you got yourself and emo girl.......... this is the perfect example of why the emo scene is so god dam ****ed up, lame, stupid and imature. I really hope this scene dies out

Whoa, man. Don't jump to conclusions. I have a friend who had and has a f'ed up home life, but she's not emo. Granted, she IS unstable, though. I don't like the emo culture either, but I don't think all emos are suicidal or vice versa. I think its a waste of youth and it reinforces wuss/AFC behavior as well as being passive and not assertive. I think as youth we confuse "assertive" and "asswipe." But I digress...

Assumptions are dangerous, is my point. It created the stalemate that was WWI.

More to the main topic, she needs help. Professional help. Sadly, I would not know how to deal with this situation. I wish you luck.

-Sachiel, DJ in Training

 

[Fenderules]

Whoa, man. Don't jump to conclusions. I have a friend who had and has a f'ed up home life, but she's not emo. Granted, she IS unstable, though. I don't like the emo culture either, but I don't think all emos are suicidal or vice versa. I think its a waste of youth and it reinforces wuss/AFC behavior as well as being passive and not assertive. I think as youth we confuse "assertive" and "asswipe." But I digress...

Assumptions are dangerous, is my point. It created the stalemate that was WWI.

More to the main topic, she needs help. Professional help. Sadly, I would not know how to deal with this situation. I wish you luck.

-Sachiel, DJ in Training

obvioulsy the vast majority are not suicidal, but like you said, AFC is ridden in both male and females.

Your also seeing the breakdown of gender. I cant tell the differnce between the guys and the girls. NTM a large number on both sides are bi and will stick anything in them. (or suck on anything) Now guys are starving themselves 2? like wtf that is not healthy.


but yes i was making a large assumption, but the point being is she is messed up, needs help, and needs to deal with her demons, not fun away from them with suicidal ideas.

 

[Mr.Positive]

This is a very tricky situation you are in, and you need to be very careful. In most suicide cases, the person made a cry for help. If she has slits on her wrists, she is close to the edge, and you are dealing with a ticking timebomb. You also may be the only one that knows about this. You are in a very sh!tty position, but you are dealing with a living person that needs help. Here's what I would do..

Call her and tell her you would like to go on a surprise date. Don't tell her where you are going, or what you are doing. Then go see a specialist, psychologist, psychiatrists, whatever that handles suicide cases. Get all her issues out in the open and documented..again..documented by the specialist. Tell her that you care for her and will help her as a friend. Do not have sex with her and do not get emotionally involved. Be there for her in the beginning, then slowly break contact with her. If you talk to her once a week..slow back down to once every two weeks. Do this until you are completely out of her life.

To put it bluntly, suicides are very messy and there would be a huge investigation. You do not want your name anywhere near her, via love letter/suicide note, etc. Also, you may help her, you actually have the opportunity to save a life, and you will sleep easier knowing you did everything you could to help someone.

This is a serious situation. Good luck.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...Call her and tell her you would like to go on a surprise date. Don't tell her where you are going, or what you are doing. Then go see a specialist, psychologist, psychiatrists, whatever that handles suicide cases. Get all her issues out in the open and documented..again..documented by the specialist. Tell her that you care for her and will help her as a friend. Do not have sex with her and do not get emotionally involved. Be there for her in the beginning, then slowly break contact with her. If you talk to her once a week..slow back down to once every two weeks. Do this until you are completely out of her life. ....

Dude, this is straight out of Jerry Springer or Jenny Jones. A woman tells a guy that she's taking him someplace special and the next he knows he's getting miked up on Springer. One guy brought his crush onto the Jenny Jones show to let him know his feelings and ended up murdered. Subterfuge along with interventions aren't what they are cracked up to be.

 

[Wyldfire]

Ahhhh...you managed to get involved with a Borderline Personality Disorder girl. Big fun. My ex-husband has that and it's not fun to deal with. Don't play nice guy and don't play asswipe. Just disappear. Change your number. Change your email. Move. Change jobs. Change everything you do. That's the only way you will be guaranteed to be rid of her. Otherwise...just hope that after you break up with her she meets someone else to focus on.

Oh...and you can't concern yourself with her threats of suicide. If she makes that threat when you break up with her you call the police and tell them she threatened suicide and they will intervene and get an emergency eval and 3 day mental hospital stay.

Virtually all girls that cut themselves are suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder.

 

[Fenderules]

yeah thats pretty scary.