Need Help Bad.

[Muscobra449]

Hey guys long story here. Girl been dating for 6 months. Sex is amazing I blow her mind everytime. Awesome girl and got some pretty bad oneitis for awhile/acted beta. Examples of this have been I told her I love her before she told me, say I miss her a lot etc. Now she said she needs time and I'm sitting here like an idiot. I still want to be with her and I'm good looking/ going to be successful but I need help.

She still says she loves me and misses me but we both started to resent each other at a certain point and now she says she needs time. What do you guys suggest? Go cold and try to get the frame back?

 

[BraddH]

"She still says she loves me and misses me but we both started to resent each other at a certain point and now she says she needs time."

Resent about what?. I need to know more what have you been doing wrong.

 

[Muscobra449]

Basically I missed showing up to a party with her early on and then missed showing up to a christmas party on time recently with her so she could show me off. She never let me know how pissed she was so she held it in and acted differently which in turn pissed me off. Still hasn't gotten over it, it seems. I feel like I lost frame here pretty bad at this point by making myself too available and just acting beta.

 

[stevo]

How often did you see this girl?

There seems to be little to nothing you can do to speed her process. She's in between moving on (reduced IL) and staying with you (separation anxiety, memories created, fear of loneliness).

There seems to be a lot you can do to get yourself where you need to be. Any relation with a female could go two ways. You're reliant on where she goes (emotion wise, decision wise) or she's reliant on where you go (you call the shots).


What you do now is just chill, dont initiate, dont push.

Be nice more like respectful not like a toilet bowl but more like dont be a dcik, dont be unnecessarily mean or rude. Hush on the lovey dovey words

Be accepting and inviting. Let her come to you and welcome her when she does but do not chase, be calm!


Make sure you're leading this girl or she wont be with you.

And for the lorv of your peace of mind, go out and do stuff with your friends. Meet girls/people.

 

[Muscobra449]

I saw her basically as much as possible. Were both in school and I havent been going out much due to lack of money and by doing that stopped seeing my friends as much as I should have. I slept at her house while banging her for multiple nights a week. She recently said she used to be obsessed with me but clearly IL has gone down. I called her earlier today and was basically like i'm not going to wait around much longer which she said she knows but still needs more time. I haven't been this messed up over a girl since highschool.

 

[BraddH]

Basically I missed showing up to a party with her early on and then missed showing up to a christmas party on time recently with her so she could show me off. She never let me know how pissed she was so she held it in and acted differently which in turn pissed me off. Still hasn't gotten over it, it seems. I feel like I lost frame here pretty bad at this point by making myself too available and just acting beta.

Look. If you look closely to what you just said, you realise there were never any good reasons to get pissed. What I am saying is basically that you two were just ridiculous. You two are so insecure that you get pissed for no reason to protect yourself.

To become confident, get rid of your ego.

 

[stevo]

I saw her basically as much as possible. Were both in school and I havent been going out much due to lack of money and by doing that stopped seeing my friends as much as I should have. I slept at her house while banging her for multiple nights a week. She recently said she used to be obsessed with me but clearly IL has gone down. I called her earlier today and was basically like i'm not going to wait around much longer which she said she knows but still needs more time. I haven't been this messed up over a girl since highschool.

What the hell dude.

If you've been on here since Nov 2012, did you not learn anything?

If you're asking for what to do, you better be ready to do what you're advised to do unless it'll just be a waste of time. Just maybe you need to get burned to shred off your AFC and if thats the case no amount of advise would make you heed.

You quit going out with your friends but you sleep at her place multiple nights a week? You saw her as much as possible and you're blowing up her phone spilling your 2cents about your feelings and you're asking us why she's withdrawing and why you're messed up about her?

Oh Lawd, where do I begin? :crazy:

 

[Muscobra449]

I have learned a lot. I'm not blowing up her phone with my feelings etc. I've messed up but not that bad. Now that you put it that way though I see where my mistakes were but now I'm trying to correct them.

 

[stevo]

I called her earlier today and was basically like i'm not going to wait around much longer

:nono:

I have learned a lot. I'm not blowing up her phone with my feelings etc. I've messed up but not that bad. Now that you put it that way though I see where my mistakes were but now I'm trying to correct them.

Yes you messed up that bad. Do not sugarcoat it. You fcuked up. You literally choked the interest level out of her over time.


Do not correct them, rather leave them alone.


Correcting them implies taking on further action towards the lady.


Leaving them alone implies leaving past in the past and moving on.


Have you heard the dance floor analogy?


Dealing with a girl in real life is like dancing with her on a dancefloor. You dance too close and she wont be able to breath, you suffocate her. You dance too far away and someone might come in between, you lose her.


For right now, LEAVE HER ALONE completely and refer to whatever I posted above.

 

[Muscobra449]

Great advice. I guess it took this long to realize that and I thought I was on the right track.

Thanks I'll update later on

 

[1-800-HellNo]

I'm too intoxicated to answer this question properly, but I will give you the short and sweet answer you need to hear:

You aren't going to be able to fully embrace your DJ teachings on a girl you've had oneitis with, and/or a girl you were dating before discovering this site. Breaking up an LTR is something many guys will never find the balls to do, for many reasons, but until you go through a bad breakup you can't truly embrace your inner don juan.

It's hard for you to admit, but looking back at your life you'll say "damn HellNo was right. I should have dumped that bltch right then and there"
you're only prolonging the inevitable hardships, which is a mistake. this breakup will be one of the hardest things youve had to do, but you will be so much stronger as a result. you will see that i'm right.

 

[Firestar786]

Basically I missed showing up to a party with her early on and then missed showing up to a christmas party on time recently with her so she could show me off. She never let me know how pissed she was so she held it in and acted differently which in turn pissed me off. Still hasn't gotten over it, it seems. I feel like I lost frame here pretty bad at this point by making myself too available and just acting beta.

You didn't turn up to a party on time so she's pissed off ?

So what ?

She wants Space for that ? Give her Space she's dramatising this **** and it's all a **** test lol.

 

[Muscobra449]

:nono:





Yes you messed up that bad. Do not sugarcoat it. You fcuked up. You literally choked the interest level out of her over time.


Do not correct them, rather leave them alone.


Correcting them implies taking on further action towards the lady.


Leaving them alone implies leaving past in the past and moving on.


Have you heard the dance floor analogy?


Dealing with a girl in real life is like dancing with her on a dancefloor. You dance too close and she wont be able to breath, you suffocate her. You dance too far away and someone might come in between, you lose her.


For right now, LEAVE HER ALONE completely and refer to whatever I posted above.

Stevo you saved me man. I appreciate it this is why i come to this site.