Need guidence!!!

[Evolve]

Im in serious need of help guys...

I used to be very outgoing and fun. But my life has taking a drastic turn for the worse. I have lost my self esteem, confidence, my large group of freinds, my girl, everything. Right now it sucks to be me. I used to be a talented muay thai boxer but quit about a year ago for no reason and now scared to go back. Basicaly im a shell of my former self. I find it hard to sleep at night, and spend most of my days drained.

Right now my life consists of work, doing weights at the gym and going home to an empty house and hanging around on sites like these. I have completly lost direction. Some days im ok but others like today im totally depressed.

I have a very small circal of close friends right now thats about all I have going for me socialy. I have very few people to go out to clubs with my buddy who I used to go out and pick up girls with has moved halfway across the world last week.


Im not asking anyone to take pity on my. I just want other people opinions on what I need to do to get my life back. Right now im no fun to be around so people tend to avoid me. Its like I have no focus ever and my mind is always somewhere else. I have nothing else to do with my life so I am determind to set things right and start living again whatever it takes.

Things I have going for me right now

1. Good looking
2. Good Job
3. Nice house / Car
4. Fit and powerfully built

Thinking about going back to my muay thai gym again after I do 3 weeks of night shifts. This would be a big step for me as I feel slightly ashamed of turning my back on somthing I felt so pasinate about.

Help me guys I am the true fallen "prince!" . I need to build myself up from scratch again. I know I have the potential to be great and have the determination to do it. But without guidence I keep on going around in circles.

This post sounds very dramatic I know. And I apologise for that. I don't want anyone to feel sorry for me. I want people honest opinions bad or good, I don't have anyone who I can share this with in my life so, I have chosen to seek advise from you guys and many of you seem to really have your **** together!

Is the name suggests im here to evolve and am serious about doing so!

Oh year iv started that bootcamp thing not sure if that is a good idea tho. Should I get my mindset right before doing so or just do it and it might help to clear my head?

 

[Ambition Now]

I´ve been where you are, sometimes we get hopeless and feel that theres no way out, but always will be a way out, nothing stays the same, things are always changing constantly and its pretty much what life´s about, ups and downs, and our task is to keep cool in both cases.
Secondly, i think you really should go back to muay thai, ive been practicing hung gar kung fu for 3 years and to me its one of the most important things that helps me to keep my mind as healthy as i can.
The main thing is to take responsability for yourself and start taking action, try not think to much so you cant lose your motivation, act now! change today! One day at a time!

 

[CFERD]

Well you have the right idea. I think we all want instant gratification/results so it can make change seem almost impossible. Realise it may take awhile to make some major changes, you'll get there though. I have the same problem, not too many single friends, those that are avoid clubs/social gatherings where the women are. Going it alone seems overwhelming. Something I am going to start to work on......

 

[r0cky]

Things I have going for me right now

1. Good looking
2. Good Job
3. Nice house / Car
4. Fit and powerfully built

Notice these are all physical things.

You must focus on the aspects of your life that really matter. Like a social life, self-image, personality, and your mission in life.

You must learn to love yourself. And this love must NOT be based on how you look or what you posses, but on what makes you unique and the values that you have as a person.

 

[Evolve]

Ok. Iv started stretching about half hour before my gym workout. Downloading a yoga DVD going to do that every day aswell. I have bad posture so hopfully the YOGA will fix this. Also iv heard its good for the mind.

Im on nights for the next 3 weeks and will be working very unsociable hours. So im going to consentrate on flexablity and sorting my phisical stuff out first. Hopefully this will help clear my mind. This is my goal for the next three weeks. After the nights are up im thinking about joining back to my muay thai gym, so every weeknight will be full. Going to use the weekends to be around what friends I have hopefully start building a foundation for the future. Also im getting braces soon I have a crossed teeth, people say they are not bad but they bother me.

 

[Evolve]

Quick update.

Been training hard/Stretching. Getting ready for when i come off nights and can go back to muay thai, just really focused on getting back into shape. Been trying to go out as much as possible, finding it kind of hard do to neglecting my friends in the past and not having many now. Really trying hard to expand my social circle. Next weekend Im going out with some guys who I used to hang around with but not seen in years. These guys really have there **** together and are where I would like to be when im done.

Been out alot with with a girl I used to date a few years ago but are good friends now. I finished with this girl and now we are good friends now through my choice, she has made advances on me but I have chosen to keep her as a buddy. I like her better as a freind.

iv decided to get braces and fix my crooked teeth. Big desision for me as I have a phobia about dentists and will really hate looking like a prat for the next 18 months. But got really nothing to lose at the moment so I may as well use this crappy time in my life to fix the things like this. On the upside they are white braces and my not be that noticable, On the down side being punched and kicked in the face its gonna be a problem when I start muay thai. Will have to invest in a new dentist made gum sheild.

 

[rushing dude 123]

Great job dude, is there any other things u want to do swim, learn guitar, dance?. Anything to help muay thai, whatever u want man lifes offering it to u, just go out and get it. Once u start doing all these things u will meet new people/friends and actually have another useful skill. Whilst doing all these things b curious, ask people about things, "how long it take u to become such a good swimmer", "u r so good at dance and i am so bad i think i am going hire u has my dance teacher". Do what u want and gain information from those around u, this is the advice i give u. Hope it works out for u man.

 

[Evolve]

Quick update. IM going to be using this like a progress diary for myself mainly.

Been to the gym lots. Not had much of a social life been on nights. IV started to learn the guitar again, spent today learning the solo for "teen spirit" almost got it nailed!!!!!

I have a new buddy, going to be started muay thai in 2 weeks. We both had quit and are serious about going back, so we are starting together as soon as im off nights.

Got two options for tonight to go out, think im going to go out with 2 female friends drinking. They are not that hot and just friends but its a start, least they will be giving me a lift to the bar .

Oh yeah gettin my teeth pulled next week ready for my brace. Not looking forward to having to large teeth ripped from my upper jaw! But at least they r not wisdom teeth. Quick quuestion how much does it hurt havin teeth pulled?

 

[DonGorgon]

They say that it is very common for single men to fall into these depressive ruts as they age.. They claim that a good female companion completes us and motivates us to strive to support family and self...

BUT in todays capitalist world where people are competing to hard to come together they tell us not to depend on a mate for happiness...

 

[playainthemaking]

Hi Evolve If Your Serious About Trying To Help Yourself Then Email Me. I Think We Can Help Each Other Out.

 

[Evolve]

yeah I am serious

Tried to mail you got this message

"Sorry! That user has specified that they do not wish to receive emails. If you still wish to send an email to this user, please contact the administrator and they may be able to help."

 

[Evolve]

Slowly getting better. I had a taste of how things used to be last night before I fell into my pit. Was suppost to being going out with those 2 girls at half 8, I started playing guitar and had a few drinks and was horribaly late. Ended up meeting them in a club about 11:30 pm.

There were 3 girls out. The third girl which I never met untill now was instantly into me. Tired busting my balls about being late, making them wait for over an hour and not even turning up to my original meeting place. I just made A big joke about it shot them all down. Tonight was all about learning to relax, have fun, and tune social skills, not to hook up .

Up untill a few months a go I was a very confident dancer, always loved to dance. But when out with work a random ugly girl which I shot down, leterally dragged me onto the dance floor when I refused to dance with her. I had about 30 of my work buddys all watching me dance with this UG on an empty dance floor. As they were all stareing and pointing I felt REALLY nervous and it was showing bad. To make things worse the girl goes back to all my 30 work colleges and anounces loadly "your friend is the most nervous and worst dancer iv ever been with!", I had dancing jokes all the next week in work! Confidence on the dance floor was destroyed!


Last night in my mind was about gettin this confidence back. Lead my girls to the dance floor, soon as i got in another girl from the past runs over to me and starts hugging me, "so nice to see you, where have u been?" etc. I was the only guy on the dance floor and it was packed with girls. MY social proof was through the roof. Finally started to feel comfortable again on the dance floor. At one point I was leading the group of girls and with eye contact and body language I was picking which one got to grind and slow dance with me, then id give the next girl a turn. Once or twice I had a girl grinding on the frount and back of me. I was having fun they could see this, it was playfull and I was treating every girl the same way none got special treatment. Also tried out this thing I read about, where you back upto a wall and lean against it when you are with a group of girls. The reason for this is it makes it look like the girls are all trying to hit on you and win your aproval.

They started to take pictures all posing with me, then random girls started wanting to have pictures taken with me. A girl wispers into my ear "all the guys here want to be you right now!". It was crazy guys, I was being treated like a rock star. I reminded me of a video I saw on you tube about cocial proof where "Mystery" talks about having a group of girls looking like they are into you is eqivilant to an average girl instantly growing a huge pair of tits!



Could of F'closed the third girl the one i never met before, but I never. I felt a bit nervous and thought if I did and if I went out with them again there might be some tention. So id rather be the cool guy she flirted like crazy all night with. I really need all the freinds I can get and want them as freinds/social proof and hooking up could destroy this (lookin at the big picture). Like I said you could easy count my group of freinds on one hand so I need all the freinds I can get!


Got my confidence back on the dance floor guys, the dance floor has always been naturally the strongest point where I attract girls. Its my self-esteem and confidence I really need to work on!!!!!!!

 

[Evolve]

Got two teeth pulled today having a white brace fitting within a week.

Any older guys had any experiance with a brace, and how to deal with the comments?

 

[The Bat]

Never had braces but don't sweat other people's comments about them. If they make a comment or ask you just say something like:

"Well you see, my teeth are actually made out of diamonds. The braces keep them in my mouth so people like you won't try to break my teeth and steal them."

Say it in a confident, funny way. And SMILE while you say something like this. So this way people know that their comments hasn't affected you and you're still the same fun, relaxed guy that you were before they found out you have braces.

Non-chalant + quick witted humor = Confidence (****y & Funny type of confidence actually)