need guidance...

[ChickenHero]

Its this girl at school that im starting to like....sometime last year she was really into me (i could tell because everytime i saw her in the hall she would smile and speak and tease me) but i never really made a move. Now im actually feeling her more and want to get to know her.. The other day at school i kinda did a test to see how she would react..

She was around my female friend, so i just walked up to her and put my arm around her and was like "whats sup baby" *in a playful voice* and she was receptive of it actually and put her arm around me and said heyy..

After talking for a minute or two, i number closed and waited about 2 days to text her..So today i texted her and she was at the movies with friends, so i told her to hit me back up when she left, but no reply...maybe she's playin a little hard now lol...(and btw i dont think she was every this EASY girl in the first place, she was just attracted earlier in the year, i never made a move, and now i have to work that attraction back up i guess??)

But fellas i just want some guidance and some advice because i dont want to mess this one up, im kinda lookin for a LTR and not just another chick to talk to, because truthfully ive never been in a REAL LTR...

The last female i was talking to lasted about 2 1/2 months, and was no where near serious....so i want to take this one further if possible..

So fellas feed me with all the advice and guidance...and i would appreciate someone to be something like my 'mentor' if you will...just someone to take me in under their wings and show and really guide me through my journey, just PM me, or i will PM you if i dont get any!! lol,

But thanks alot fellas in advance!

 

[eaglez1177]

Its this girl at school that im starting to like....sometime last year she was really into me (i could tell because everytime i saw her in the hall she would smile and speak and tease me) but i never really made a move. Now im actually feeling her more and want to get to know her.. The other day at school i kinda did a test to see how she would react..

She was around my female friend, so i just walked up to her and put my arm around her and was like "whats sup baby" *in a playful voice* and she was receptive of it actually and put her arm around me and said heyy..

After talking for a minute or two, i number closed and waited about 2 days to text her..So today i texted her and she was at the movies with friends, so i told her to hit me back up when she leftI said this in another thread, never leave the "power" with the girl. You're leaving the "power" with her here because now YOU have to wait for HER to "hit you back up". You're the one waiting, and now she becomes the initiator, except in many cases, the girls dont initiate back (which is what happened here). You shouldve instead said something like "ok i'll talk to you later" or "ok i'll call you later". See how now SHE has to wait for YOU to contact her? Its the other way around from what you initially said with the whole "hit me up" thing., but no reply...maybe she's playin a little hard now lol...(and btw i dont think she was every this EASY girl in the first place, she was just attracted earlier in the year, i never made a move, and now i have to work that attraction back up i guess??)

But fellas i just want some guidance and some advice because i dont want to mess this one upLol the classic line. "I dont wanna mess it up". This telegraphs the attachment you have to this girl because it shows that you have a fear of loss. A fear of losing her and not being able to get with her. You have to get over that fear not just with this girl, but with all girls.

Think of it as this. Heres a quote from Robert De Niro from the movie Heat, and I think it applies perfectly to what im saying above. "You want to be makin moves on the street, have no attachments, allow nothing to be in your life that you cannot walk out on in 30 seconds flat if you spot the heat around the corner"

So what if you mess sh*t up. What you should be more concerned about is learning from your mistakes. You've already screwed this one up because you never made a move when you shouldve., im kinda lookin for a LTR and not just another chick to talk to, because truthfully ive never been in a REAL LTR...

The last female i was talking to lasted about 2 1/2 months, and was no where near serious....so i want to take this one further if possible..Listen to yourself here. The last girl you talked to lasted 2 1/2 months? You need to be talking to girls EVERY DAY ALL THE TIME. Talking to girls isnt like some kind of privilege for a guy, and its not something where you only talk to one girl at a time and see how long it lasts.

So fellas feed me with all the advice and guidance...and i would appreciate someone to be something like my 'mentor' if you will...just someone to take me in under their wings and show and really guide me through my journey, just PM me, or i will PM you if i dont get any!! lol,

But thanks alot fellas in advance!

The problem with this situation is that this girl USED to like you, but you never had the balls to make a move. She realized that things werent going anywhere, so she probably just totally forgot about you and moved to some other guys. Guys that she could see a possible future with because they actually reciprocated with the attraction that she was giving them.

I wouldnt be the least surprised if this chick has already lost most, if not all, interest. And honestly, you're way better off just forgetting about her, learning you're lesson, and starting off on a clean slate with some other girls. That will be much, much easier than trying to re-ignite the attraction between you and this girl.

 

[ChickenHero]

Thanks eagle...

Yea, i agree that i shouldnt have left the ball in her court like that, im learning from all my mistakes, believe me you....And i also agree that the fear of loss is a bad thing, im taking females off of that pedestal and not giving a **** anymore..well trying anyway...

BTW eagles pm me bro...no homo lol

 

[eaglez1177]

I would but for some reason theres like no pm button on your profile anywhere. Like usually under "contact info" theres a link that says "send a personal message to [username]" but for some reason yours isnt there.

 

[AlexLefty]

haha yeah me to eagzz,
im feeling a little pow wow/group help thing going on here between me, you and chicken (no circle jerk please) since you kind of forgot about me eaglz

also chicken, i'm thinking, if you've got no strings attached/don't really care about this chick (you did say you're going to give her up right?) instead of stopping with her, why not just continue for the sake of good old practice. The worst that can happen is you become friends, so you get some social proof, or you guys break off completely, which you don't give a fvck about since you dont care about her

 

[888]

I agree with alexlefty, but I also think it is kind of a risky move, since you could easily develop an attachment towards her, even if you tell yourself that you are just doing it for "practice."

I would say before you re-initiate with this particular girl, make sure you have some other ones **PLURAL** that you are more focused on. That way, she will not be able to monopolize all of your valuable time. She should be VERY low on your priorities, and should only be used as "filler" when for whatever reason you are unable to interact more interesting (and more interested) girls.

 

[lehua768]

The problem with this situation is that this girl USED to like you, but you never had the balls to make a move. She realized that things werent going anywhere, so she probably just totally forgot about you and moved to some other guys. Guys that she could see a possible future with because they actually reciprocated with the attraction that she was giving them.

 

[eaglez1177]

haha yeah me to eagzz,
im feeling a little pow wow/group help thing going on here between me, you and chicken (no circle jerk please) since you kind of forgot about me eaglz

also chicken, i'm thinking, if you've got no strings attached/don't really care about this chick (you did say you're going to give her up right?) instead of stopping with her, why not just continue for the sake of good old practice. The worst that can happen is you become friends, so you get some social proof, or you guys break off completely, which you don't give a fvck about since you dont care about her

Lol nah I havent forgot about you, I just stopped posting in your thread cuz I figured I had made my point about everything and said everything I wanted to say.

If you still have problems tho im always open for pm's