Need closure from you guys.

[RicBoy]

I was seeing a girl for 3 months. It was more like fwb. She didn’t want me to sleep over and we didn’t hang out outside. She didn’t want it.
I probably rushed things because I kept seeing her twice a week, food sex and tv at her place. She is 35 and never had a serious relationship just flings and fwb type of relationship and has been with over 100 guys.

Yesterday she called me to break things off. She said she doesn’t have feelings and feels I want this to work more than her and she is starting to feel bad knowing I’m going over her place waiting for things to evolve. She said that she knows this is not going anywhere and she doesn’t want to waste my time and hers. I asked her on the phone when she called if we could take it slow but she said no because this has gone to fast already and not possible to scale it down now.

I wished her well and left the door open. Told her if she want to meet for s3x sometimes she could call and that was it. She said she probably wouldn’t call and then removed me from Facebook.

I know I rushed things with her and never gave her a chance to miss me or ask to see me. I kept planning meet ups once or twice a week and apart from the first month she rarely reached out to me.


Anything I can do here ? Will she reach out ? Should I break no contact after a month or so ?

 

[SW15]

The best thing you can do now is focus on finding new women. I don't think the arrangement you describe can be salvaged in any way.

 

[RicBoy]

The best thing you can do now is focus on finding new women. I don't think the arrangement you describe can be salvaged in any way.

What you think happened here? She never really had any interest from beginning ? We never hang out outside. I know I should have hidden my feelings more and call less and see her less often.

Any point to call her at some point ?

 

[SW15]

You said it yourself. You rushed things. You also had too much of the boyfriend provider vibe, which isn't her thing. She has some issues being 35 and never having had a relationship while putting up a notch count of 100+.

The types of relationships she would tend to have would be shorter term. If you had better frame, that's probably the difference between a 6-8 month situationship with her vs. a 3 month one. Also, better frame might have enabled a random sexual encounter with her in the future every so often. Either way, there are better options out there.

 

[Bingo-Player]

What you think happened here? She never really had any interest from beginning ?

1) she is 35 & never had a serious relationship meaning she's without shadow of a doubt mentally damaged

2) the fact she's told you she's slept with 100+ men means she doesn't at all value her femininity or even herself

3) She doesn't have feelings because she has become numb to them , she's probably done this to 100's of men throughout her 20's and feels absolutely nothing

4) You mention " she doesn't want this or that" meaning she was always in control of your frame a woman in control of your frame is never going to end well for you

5) You've been too needy this is something you need to work on yourself

But overall I think you have dodged a bullet

I was talking to a 35 year old bird in a club in a couple of weeks ago , she was single complaining how sh1t men are yada yada

She wasn't my type at all but I looked at her and I thought you have 100% unrealistic expectations your value is low and you are bitter

You will wreck most mens lives because they will never meet your standards

 

[RicBoy]

1) she is 35 & never had a serious relationship meaning she's without shadow of a doubt mentally damaged

2) the fact she's told you she's slept with 100+ men means she doesn't at all value her femininity or even herself

3) She doesn't have feelings because she has become numb to them , she's probably done this to 100's of men throughout her 20's and feels absolutely nothing

4) You mention " she doesn't want this or that" meaning she was always in control of your frame a woman in control of your frame is never going to end well for you

5) You've been too needy this is something you need to work on yourself

But overall I think you have dodged a bullet

I was talking to a 35 year old bird in a club in a couple of weeks ago , she was single complaining how sh1t men are yada yada

She wasn't my type at all but I looked at her and I thought you have 100% unrealistic expectations your value is low and you are bitter

You will wreck most mens lives because they will never meet your standards

If she doesn’t reach out, is there any point to reach out to her after a few weeks?

 

[RangerMIke]

IMO the woman has integrity. She is likely incapable of making a 'relationship' work, and she knows that is what the OP wants so she cut the him loose.

Is she damaged? I don't know... aren't we all damaged in some way or another. She is what she is, she is not interested in deep connections and relationships... she knows you want more than what she is capable of giving. She gifted you the freedom to go find what you want.

It could also be that she just isn't 'feeling it' with the OP... and the OP is getting in the way of her finding a dude that gives her the tingles. There isn't a fvcking thing a man can do about that. She either has it or she doesn't. No man should ever want to lock down a chick that isn't willing to walk over broken glass to get to them.

 

[RicBoy]

IMO the woman has integrity. She is likely incapable of making a 'relationship' work, and she knows that is what the OP wants so she cut the him loose.

Is she damaged? I don't know... aren't we all damaged in some way or another. She is what she is, she is not interested in deep connections and relationships... she knows you want more than what she is capable of giving. She gifted you the freedom to go find what you want.

It could also be that she just isn't 'feeling it' with the OP... and the OP is getting in the way of her finding a dude that gives her the tingles. There isn't a fvcking thing a man can do about that. She either has it or she doesn't. No man should ever want to lock down a chick that isn't willing to walk over broken glass to get to them.

She was always saying sex was so good and she was always dropping wet man she even had to apologize few times. Every thing was good.
I noticed last 2 weeks she pulled back tho and I kept chasing more.

According to her she feels like this isn’t going never to be a real relationship and she doesn’t want to keep this sex and couch forever that we are just wasting time. She is a busy woman with family friends work etc and feels stressed out to have to plan these e meetings with me all the time.

Those were her words. Should I reach out in a month or so? Is there a change she comes around if I stay in no contact.?

 

[RicBoy]

No dont. No more contact. Only way to do it. I personally would not.

You mean she has to reach out ?

 

[RangerMIke]

She was always saying sex was so good and she was always dropping wet man she even had to apologize few times. Every thing was good.
I noticed last 2 weeks she pulled back tho and I kept chasing more.

According to her she feels like this isn’t going never to be a real relationship and she doesn’t want to keep this sex and couch forever that we are just wasting time. She is a busy woman with family friends work etc and feels stressed out to have to plan these e meetings with me all the time.

Those were her words. Should I reach out in a month or so? Is there a change she comes around if I stay in no contact.?

Okay... that is more info that clears things up. She has likely found another dude she likes more and knows you won't deal with that well.

I wouldn't reach out to her anymore... go date other women and try to forget about her. If she comes back, no problem... if you never hear from her again... no problem.

 

[RicBoy]

Okay... that is more info that clears things up. She has likely found another dude she likes more and knows you won't deal with that well.

I wouldn't reach out to her anymore... go date other women and try to forget about her. If she comes back, no problem... if you never hear from her again... no problem.

Maybe she met someone but honestly I doubt it.

She told me a few weeks ago she told her mother she didn’t know what she wanted from us and then she said if she would ever come to the conclusion she didn’t want a relationship with me eventually this sex thing would have to end. So she was having doubts.

Also o made a bad mistake last Thursday, I felt her pulling back so I called her 2 times she didn’t pick up and then I left couple of msgs and she got really annoyed saying I’m sending msgs repeating myself etc. and she can sense im always gonna be like this if she doesn’t answer the phone. Then Sunday she broke up. I acted needy

 

[Aaronthadon]

I was seeing a girl for 3 months. It was more like fwb. She didn’t want me to sleep over and we didn’t hang out outside. She didn’t want it.
I probably rushed things because I kept seeing her twice a week, food sex and tv at her place. She is 35 and never had a serious relationship just flings and fwb type of relationship and has been with over 100 guys.

Yesterday she called me to break things off. She said she doesn’t have feelings and feels I want this to work more than her and she is starting to feel bad knowing I’m going over her place waiting for things to evolve. She said that she knows this is not going anywhere and she doesn’t want to waste my time and hers. I asked her on the phone when she called if we could take it slow but she said no because this has gone to fast already and not possible to scale it down now.

I wished her well and left the door open. Told her if she want to meet for s3x sometimes she could call and that was it. She said she probably wouldn’t call and then removed me from Facebook.

I know I rushed things with her and never gave her a chance to miss me or ask to see me. I kept planning meet ups once or twice a week and apart from the first month she rarely reached out to me.


Anything I can do here ? Will she reach out ? Should I break no contact after a month or so ?

What you did was threaten her ATFMM“ Ability To **** Multiple Men. She likes the FWB ordeal, plus this is nothing new to her because she’s had numerous FWB relationships and you’re not the only guy that has threatened her ATFMM. Let it go she’s for everyone.

 

[RicBoy]

What you did was threaten her ATFMM“ Ability To **** Multiple Men. She likes the FWB ordeal, plus this is nothing new to her because she’s had numerous FWB relationships and you’re not the only guy that has threatened her ATFMM. Let it go she’s for everyone.

She warned me when we started seeing each other that all guys that slept with her and wanted more from her she ghosted them.

 

[CornbreadFed]

You had plenty of closure from us and this site. You chose to be a complete **** and apply the hopium strategy. Your topic and this one literally needs to become trophied on this site for men to read why the hopium strategy is a failing strategy.

 

[ThisIsSparta]

Should I reach out in a month or so? Is there a change she comes around if I stay in no contact.?

NO!

Thats why she dumped you in the first place, because you were around all the time.

You cant have a relationship with that kind of woman. Thats what she even told you to your face, but you didnt listen.

I hope you listen to the guys here.

You will only waste your time if you keep investing your energy and emotions in that woman.

That chick is a cvm-dumpster. If you want a relationship, find a proper woman.

Move on!

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

She is a Don Juana. She's a dopamine junkie; the dopamine ran out too fast before you could switch a portion of its narcotic-like hit to vasopressin. She is the type that lives off the high of meeting and courting and farking new guys.

You dodged a bullet; move on.

For future reference: she signaled CLEARLY who she was and her brokenness to you early on; you should've known. That's OK because now you know what to look for going forward. All women in a dopamine high will tell you, "Oh, it's never been like this," "You're the best I've ever had," and other sweet lies. You probably ate that chit-up, as most of us have at one point or another.

Chalk it up to your experience.

 

[corsica]

She don't want you as a LTR. She just needed some d!cking.

Same happens when you're banging a girl you don't want to commit. You drag and when she pushes too much, you let her go.

 

[RicBoy]

She don't want you as a LTR. She just needed some d!cking.

Same happens when you're banging a girl you don't want to commit. You drag and when she pushes too much, you let her go.

Yes you are right. But I also feel the didn’t want fwb the way we had it. I was asking her out once a week sometimes twice. So we meet twice a week at her place. She told me later she was getting stressed out of this routine and have to cancel with family friends and work even.

I asked her what kind of fwb she had before. She said I call a guy we have sex then I see him again on few months.

 

[eli77]

How old are you this happened to me in high school twice it was the best thing that could have happened if you're of the age of 40 trust me you'll be okay.

 

[RicBoy]

Bro you're a 41 years old guy with a kid and a horrible history of toxic women. Why do you want this one back? You are literally wasting your life getting into relationships or the hopes of relationships with women like that

I’m an idiot I know. I probably was too needy and this woman played things in a way that made all my anxiety and neediness come out