Need Advice

[crowolf]

Hello,

I feel like I'm in a doomed circle, from which I find it hard to escape. I haven't been with a woman for a while, and this is pulling me back from doing so. Because of that, I have deep within me a lack of confidence and self-belief. And it shows on the surface in one way or another. We all know that preselection is a big part of the Game. Even if women don't see it happen, you (sub)communicate it or at least know about it in your mind. But if I know for myself that I haven't had success in this field for some time, I cannot go around it and act as if I am The Man.

So the first question is: How to get women if you currently have no women?

Don't get me wrong. I try to make things happen. This year I started cold approaching on my own. For a long time, it was a huge challenge for me. But I conquered the fear. Now I am around 35+ sets in. Learned a lot, had some cool interactions, got numbers, an instant-date even.. But that's all for now. I know I have the balls to do it, show intent, be a man. But still, sometimes the "nice guy" in me appears on the surface and ruins the attraction. This I want to change too. I don't know why it happens - in particular, the need to validate a girl on everything and avoid building tension. It is probably connected to the first issue - lack of experience and recent success with women.

Second question: How to permanently remove "the nice guy traits" in me that sometimes appear, even If I am not like this all the time?

The last thing is that I started a new job today. It's probably not a long-term thing, so I would like to get the best of it. I notice that there are around 5-6 beautiful women there as my colleagues. I still have the time to make a solid impression, as they've seen me only once, and had a few short interactions. But I am not exactly sure how to play my cards right in this situation. I don't think I can portray myself as a "player", as I am not currently. I probably won't flirt openly with any of the girls, as I don't want to cause trouble for myself. Curious to know what is the winning play here. For now I think about just doing my work properly, and letting my presence speak. I am not the most talkative person in group settings anyway.

Third question: New workplace, hot colleagues around me - how to get them?

Any advice, new points of view, or even critique, would be appreciated. Don't feel obligated to cover everything, you can share your thoughts on whatever part you'd like.

 

[Dr.Suave]

I feel like I'm in a doomed circle

Hit the gym

So the first question is: How to get women if you currently have no women?

Try different stuff. Try OLD, try cold approach, try social circle. Expermiment, but enjoy the process. Figure out what works best for you. Be outcome independant. Slowly but surely build a cool life for yourself were women are nothing more than the cherry on top. Become the prize.

Second question: How to permanently remove "the nice guy traits" in me that sometimes appear, even If I am not like this all the time?

Fake it till you make it.

Third question: New workplace, hot colleagues around me - how to get them?

You dont. This particular juice is usually not worth the squeeze.

 

[CornbreadFed]

How to get women if you currently have no women?

Op we need to know your age because the answer to this question can differ for someone under 25, 25-32, 32-45, and older than 45. The answer I can give you is to know your target market of women. I am sure there's a particular type of woman you have had come at you at the past. In addition, make yourself attractive as in get to a decent Bodyfat with some muscle, find a haircut that suits you, get your wardrobe in check, practice self care.

How to permanently remove "the nice guy traits" in me that sometimes appear, even If I am not like this all the time?

First, get rid of these PUA brainwashing terms out of your head. "Nice guy traits" is code for she's not attracted to you and she doesn't want to be upfront about it, not because you look like a nice guy and she wants to be railed in the back of a trunk by some excon.

New workplace, hot colleagues around me - how to get them?

Drop this mentality. You wreak of foolishness and scarcity because only desperate men would risk their livelihoods and finances for a chance at some pvssy.

 

[crowolf]

Thank you.

@Dr.Suave - I do hit the gym. The second part is a good advice. I am working on building that life. Done a lot of traveling and following my purpose, etc. / Social circle is not my thing, at least not at this point in life, as I've changed a lot of places and cities recently, and I don't really build circles anywhere.

The work part - I know It's not worth it, but in this case it's a temporary job, 2-3 months maybe. Not going to risk it straight away, but still.. It might be an opportunity.

@CornbreadFed - I am 24. Agree that first step should be making sure I look my best. I'd say I am decent in that regard. But still, I can (and will) do better. My "target market" is simply beautiful women. I tend to have high standards.. I think about joining more groups, events and places where girls with common interests/values go.

Me from the past has barely anything in common with me now, so I wouldn't count on what has worked before. My life is too different also. You might be right about the "nice guy" thing, but I do believe some behaviors are more attractive than others and reveal things about you and your life. And women seem very good at picking up these things.

@stringpuller - I have read that book before, but I might have to check it out again.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

There is nothing wrong with being nice. There is an issue with being a nice guy. Those are two different things.

Nice guys are more concerned with how others perceive them and making sure they are liked and validated than in respecting themselves and maintaining their dignity.

This is where things are going wrong for you in that regard. When you are more concerned with making sure she likes you and not challenging her opinions, being overly agreeable with things you don't agree with, having no backbone to stand up for yourself if she says something you don't like, etc...

The problem with nice guys is that they actually aren't doing it to be nice. They are doing as a form of manipulation even if they don't realize it...how many times do you hear guys get mad at women after they take them out for dinner, buy them stuff and get nothing in return sexually and they tell at them and tell them "she owes them" because they did all that stuff.

Effectively nice guys try to bargain for sex by being a doormat and being fake, allowing women to do whatever they want if they think if will help them get laid.

That's no way to act as a man...a woman cannot respect a man who doesn't respect himself.

Being nice, doesn't make you a nice guy. Allowing yourself to be an ATM and a doormat does.

 

[BoomToTheMoonAlice]

Hello,

I feel like I'm in a doomed circle, from which I find it hard to escape. I haven't been with a woman for a while, and this is pulling me back from doing so. Because of that, I have deep within me a lack of confidence and self-belief. And it shows on the surface in one way or another. We all know that preselection is a big part of the Game. Even if women don't see it happen, you (sub)communicate it or at least know about it in your mind. But if I know for myself that I haven't had success in this field for some time, I cannot go around it and act as if I am The Man.

So the first question is: How to get women if you currently have no women?

Don't get me wrong. I try to make things happen. This year I started cold approaching on my own. For a long time, it was a huge challenge for me. But I conquered the fear. Now I am around 35+ sets in. Learned a lot, had some cool interactions, got numbers, an instant-date even.. But that's all for now. I know I have the balls to do it, show intent, be a man. But still, sometimes the "nice guy" in me appears on the surface and ruins the attraction. This I want to change too. I don't know why it happens - in particular, the need to validate a girl on everything and avoid building tension. It is probably connected to the first issue - lack of experience and recent success with women.

Second question: How to permanently remove "the nice guy traits" in me that sometimes appear, even If I am not like this all the time?

The last thing is that I started a new job today. It's probably not a long-term thing, so I would like to get the best of it. I notice that there are around 5-6 beautiful women there as my colleagues. I still have the time to make a solid impression, as they've seen me only once, and had a few short interactions. But I am not exactly sure how to play my cards right in this situation. I don't think I can portray myself as a "player", as I am not currently. I probably won't flirt openly with any of the girls, as I don't want to cause trouble for myself. Curious to know what is the winning play here. For now I think about just doing my work properly, and letting my presence speak. I am not the most talkative person in group settings anyway.

Third question: New workplace, hot colleagues around me - how to get them?

Any advice, new points of view, or even critique, would be appreciated. Don't feel obligated to cover everything, you can share your thoughts on whatever part you'd like.

#1. Find some extrovert hobbies or a reason to be around hot women.
#2. Don't try and be someone you're not.
#3. Don't sh1t where you eat.

 

[Plinco]

Hello,

I feel like I'm in a doomed circle, from which I find it hard to escape. I haven't been with a woman for a while, and this is pulling me back from doing so. Because of that, I have deep within me a lack of confidence and self-belief. And it shows on the surface in one way or another. We all know that preselection is a big part of the Game. Even if women don't see it happen, you (sub)communicate it or at least know about it in your mind. But if I know for myself that I haven't had success in this field for some time, I cannot go around it and act as if I am The Man.

So the first question is: How to get women if you currently have no women?

Why do you feel the need to be in a relationship with a woman? Confidence is a feeling you get when you have competency in your agency, and feelings are only indicators. In other words you should strive to be good at doing the things you need to do and not seek the support of others. For you this is a shift in mindset. You have to earn a self-esteem, and see strangers as not a primary in your life.

Second question: How to permanently remove "the nice guy traits" in me that sometimes appear, even If I am not like this all the time?

First of all, be aware of these traits and examine why you do them; you'll learn something about yourself.

Often times the so called nice guy syndrome is a result of lack of self-esteem or lack of self respect.

Third question: New workplace, hot colleagues around me - how to get them?

Any advice, new points of view, or even critique, would be appreciated. Don't feel obligated to cover everything, you can share your thoughts on whatever part you'd like.

If you are serious about your work, keep it professional. Chances are none of those women are worth getting in the way to your professional goals. Even if this job is temporary, you still have a reputation that you need to protect and build on.

 

[NealIRC]

Second question: How to permanently remove "the nice guy traits" in me that sometimes appear, even If I am not like this all the time?

By negging them.

 

[CornbreadFed]

I am 24. Agree that first step should be making sure I look my best. I'd say I am decent in that regard. But still, I can (and will) do better. My "target market" is simply beautiful women. I tend to have high standards.. I think about joining more groups, events and places where girls with common interests/values go.

I would pick a persona and develop your wardrobe around it.

 

[Murk]

Pay for a Brazilian to ride you for 30 mins