need advice with a girl

[Stark]

This is kind of long btw so im sorry.

Ok so there is a new group of friends i talk to everyday at lunch and this has been going on since like September. I am a junior in highschool. I have had my eyes on this girl who is friends with everyone in this group when she came in after her schedule changed at like November. So we talk every day within our group. id say she is a 7 on the looks scale but i like her personality, she is somone that i think is special and if i went out with her id be looking for a long term relationship so this person is special to me and i don't want to screw it up. I was desperate enough to look for advice online and i found this site which had some interesting and clever articles but i feel i still need some straight up advice.

here are some facts about the situation that might help you all give advice.

she laughs at what i say when i make jokes or give input in a funny discussion.

she always greets me when i come near the group of friends even before i get close enough to give a casual hi.

this is what confuses me a little. she says i look like a certain male super model. and talks about how beutiful I am. I would have no problem with this but she says it in a jokingly way so i duno if shes being sarcastic and isnt being serious or if she is masking her true thoughts in a jokingly and casual way.

We havnt had alone time hardly at all maybe a few split seconds here and there. this is could be bad but i think it also means im not in the friend trap yet.

she was dumped by her boyfriend a few months ago.

ive always been a little shy around her i can talk and joke but i havnt dont much other than that. such as touching, teasing, insulting, etc. I am afraid i have labeled myself as one of those guys that doesnt disagree and is a servant of the woman. Every once in awhile i buy her lunch from the school. And again I don't think i have ever disagreed or casually insulted her.

i recently got a cellphone. the first day she found out i had one she wanted my cell number and then i asked for hers. i duno if this means we are friends or not still but she texts people alot. she texted me alot the first week I had my phone. and then she didnt text me for awhile and then texted me again like 6 days later. I however never initially texted her except for once when i was trying to get ahold of my friend when his didnt work. so i don't think i displayed myself as needy or anything in the cellphone stage.

facts about myself

I wouldnt say im the best looking guy. I'm not ugly either though. I weigh about 190 so i am a little chunky but i also look muscular. basicly i have my good angles and my bad angles and i can suck it in to look good without looking akward.

a dark truth about me is a for the past 3 years have been a hardcore world of warcraft player... like thats all i did and it locked me out very much socially from the world. And it certainly is not helping me now.

I do excercise though and since i was motivated to impress this girl i started lifting weights everyday and jogging for atleast 30 mins everyday also.

I can drive as soon as my parents trust me to drive alone i have my license though.

I am very confused as sometimes i think she likes me and sometimes it seems like she doesnt care. and you probably see posts like this all the time and its true i do lack some self confidence but any advice is appreciated thanks.

 

[Touchout]

To start, go read some of the good articles in the DJ Bible, it's pretty much a mandatory read around here, plus you will learn some things that will really open your eyes about your life.

You seem to have something called one-itis, but it doesn't seem to be bad so I will try to help you out with this girl.

she laughs at what i say when i make jokes or give input in a funny discussion.

she always greets me when i come near the group of friends even before i get close enough to give a casual hi.

this is what confuses me a little. she says i look like a certain male super model. and talks about how beutiful I am. I would have no problem with this but she says it in a jokingly way so i duno if shes being sarcastic and isnt being serious or if she is masking her true thoughts in a jokingly and casual way.


she was dumped by her boyfriend a few months ago.

She's giving you IOI's, go for it. The fact that you waited months hurts you though, you should have made a move right away.

ive always been a little shy around her i can talk and joke but i havnt dont much other than that. such as touching, teasing, insulting, etc. I am afraid i have labeled myself as one of those guys that doesnt disagree and is a servant of the woman. Every once in awhile i buy her lunch from the school. And again I don't think i have ever disagreed or casually insulted her

.

BAD! :nono: Do NOT be afraid to disagree with someone, it shows you have confidence and aren't afraid of her. Also, start teasing/touching, go search for something called ****y & funny, it will help you a lot.

a dark truth about me is a for the past 3 years have been a hardcore world of warcraft player... like thats all i did and it locked me out very much socially from the world. And it certainly is not helping me now.

Give up this game now and start living your life!

I am very confused as sometimes i think she likes me and sometimes it seems like she doesnt care. and you probably see posts like this all the time and its true i do lack some self confidence but any advice is appreciated thanks.

[/QUOTE]

Bro, just go for it, what do you have to lose? I've learned something, I used to be like you, I had one-itis for a girl and I came to forums like this looking for advice just like you. But, I never asked the girl out, and eventually I stopped talking to her. So, instead of a possible relationship, or even just peace of mind with a rejection, I got nothing.

Live you life like everyday is the last, and keep working on that confidence.

 

[Stark]

So i was reading about kino in the DJ bible so i decided to try it out casually. it mentioned you could try to stand near the person and see if the person backs off or if they stay there so you could see their reaction without actually touching them. so i stood relatively close to her a couple times throughout the day and noticed that. She did not back away and at certain times it almost looked like she was going to lean/fall on me. not to mention our arms rubbed a couple of times from how close we were. So i suppose this is a good sign if any.

Btw thanks touchout you are right i might as well give it a shot because i always let opportunities pass and i regret it. I'm going to muster up the courage to ask her out just need to find the best possible way to do it.

 

[Touchout]

So i was reading about kino in the DJ bible so i decided to try it out casually. it mentioned you could try to stand near the person and see if the person backs off or if they stay there so you could see their reaction without actually touching them. so i stood relatively close to her a couple times throughout the day and noticed that. She did not back away and at certain times it almost looked like she was going to lean/fall on me. not to mention our arms rubbed a couple of times from how close we were. So i suppose this is a good sign if any.

Btw thanks touchout you are right i might as well give it a shot because i always let opportunities pass and i regret it. I'm going to muster up the courage to ask her out just need to find the best possible way to do it.

Sure, that's a very good sign, she wouldn't want to be close to you unless she was comfortable with you right? Next time try getting close up face to face and see if she backs away then (not too close like your going to kiss her, just closer than comfortable friends distance)

Oh, and don't go around saying you have to "muster up the courage to ask her out"...trust me, it will never get done that way, that's what I said for years. Make it spontaneous, follow the 3-second rule and just go for it.

 

[Stark]

alright so the next day i test some more kino by putting my arm around her and seeing what she does. she didnt resist at all. good sign.

at the end of school i just straight up texted her to meet me for like one minute after school. Then i straight up ask her to go to prom and she accepts.

so now saturday im supposed to meet her at prom because she was originally going to go with some girl friends. so now im faced with new problems i need advice with.

#1 I have no dance experience

#2 should i take her to a movie or resteraunt after prom

#3 is kissing aloud on a first date for prom if so when and how?

#4 im not entirely confident in my ability to talk for the whole time im going to be out with her. we know each other semi well so weve already talked a good bit but duno if i have 4 hours worth of material.

thanks

 

[Plec07]

#1 I have no dance experience

#2 should i take her to a movie or resteraunt after prom

#3 is kissing aloud on a first date for prom if so when and how?

#4 im not entirely confident in my ability to talk for the whole time im going to be out with her. we know each other semi well so weve already talked a good bit but duno if i have 4 hours worth of material.

1. See if anyone you know can show you something, maybe an older sibling, cousin or parents if your close with them.

2. Depends on what time the prom finishes and how long you'll be together before it ends. In my opinion I would leave that for another day as you don't want to spend too much time with them and then have nothing to talk about on a later date.

3. Most girls believe in kissing on a first date. Do it when you feel ready and you have er isolated.

4. Most of your guy mates will be there right? And most of her girlies will be there if I'm not mistaken. If you feel things are approaching an awkward silence just say something like "I'll be back in a bit, I gotta say hi to some mates." while your walking past a mate of hers. Go chat to your mates for a bit, when you got a new conversation starter go find her again.

 

[Touchout]

alright so the next day i test some more kino by putting my arm around her and seeing what she does. she didnt resist at all. good sign.

at the end of school i just straight up texted her to meet me for like one minute after school. Then i straight up ask her to go to prom and she accepts.

so now saturday im supposed to meet her at prom because she was originally going to go with some girl friends. so now im faced with new problems i need advice with.

#1 I have no dance experience

#2 should i take her to a movie or resteraunt after prom

#3 is kissing aloud on a first date for prom if so when and how?

#4 im not entirely confident in my ability to talk for the whole time im going to be out with her. we know each other semi well so weve already talked a good bit but duno if i have 4 hours worth of material.

thanks

Hey, good job bud, people should learn from you, even though you were shy you grabbed your balls and went for what you wanted.

I'll help you with your questions

1- Don't worry, follow Plec's advice if you want, or just go out there and have fun. Even if you look like an idiot on the dance floor, that's still better than sitting or standing on the side. Just have fun!

2- Find out what the plan is for everyone after prom. If your a junior there will probably be some after-prom parties and if your a senior find out what everyone is doing (usually people don't party after prom around here because they wake up early to go to the shore the next day). After my prom were going into NYC to see stand-up.

3- Definitely, go into the night expecting to hook-up (or more ). Girls love big things like proms, they get romantic ideas. Anytime is acceptable to kiss, she would probably be more comfortable if your isolated though.

4- You don't have to stick by her side for the whole 4 hours, in fact I doubt she wants that. Go talk to your friends, she will talk to her friends, but always find her, don't wait too long.

 

[Stark]

well she did mention that we should go to like a resteraunt or something after prom. so thats why i was asking on what to do after prom because i dont think there will be an after party. im worried tho if i take her to some place to eat we will run out of things to talk about but at a movie you don't talk. also im thinking of going for the kiss when i drop her off at her place does that seem alright?

 

[lifesfun]

I wrote this a few days ago I think it will help!


If you can't dance with girls or are just bad at dancing this is for you:
-first either just start grinding with her or make good eye contact and go up and start grinding( don't let rejection get you down) it happens sometimes to the best of us.
-second(if your not good) start with following the girl, put your hands on her hips and let her be your guide, you need to get rhythm and get a sense of a few ways of moving your hips with her hips to the beat.A.K.A Just don't hump her.
-practice on a more experienced girl one that dances wild, try to keep up and memorize those more advance ways of grinding
-after now having a general sense of dancing with a girl start leading the girl with your new acquired skills, nothing more sexy then a man how can move her and dance with her to her level or better
-After getting a little used to leading her listen to the song and add some variety at choruses of the song and don't let her predict you completely, you want her to catch your rhythm and don't make her lost but at the same time show her a good time and don't get her bored
-make up your own style to the music have a certain thing that makes your dancing different
(my personal favorite is slowing down for a few seconds emphasize the movement, then speed up again, this builds up the tension)

Some extra things to do from behind
-rub your hands up and down her hips
-slow down during a chorus(my favorite)
-speed up during a chorus
-grab her thighs(usually grab back if shes into it)
-grab her hand make her do a spin and grind with her from up front
-make out with her
Don't
just hump her
be boring
you can have a Bonner but a lot of girls find it awkward- if you want tuck it in with a belt
usually after dancing a while you don't get bonners while grinding
...anything else you guys think of tell me

have fun dancing!

Here some stuff for you personally stark
-its like sex you have to connect with her body( its not a solo dance, dance with her)
-since you don't have time to practice dancing on other girls just make sure you find rhythm with her
-have fun and relax, don't be tensed up

hope this helps..

 

[Stark]

ok so things didnt really go exactly too well at prom.

1. it wasnt just us 2 there were 6 other girls and another guy (my friend) i ended up driving my guy friend and the girl he was going with to prom and all the other girls were going to meet us there. i asked before hand if she wanted to do anything after with just us and she said shes going to her friends house after.

2. i basicly followed the herd.

3. i asked i think once or twice if she cared to dance and she said she wasnt rdy, she was still talking with the group. then everyone decides to go on the dance floor and the girls dance together. im standing there like wtf do i exist? after she detected i was a little pissed we danced for like 5 mins. she went back to dancing with her girl friends.

4. after awhile we all sat back down. we all took pictures on cellphones cameras. we got a couple pictures together. nothing rly went wrong after or during that part.

5. Then i drove my guy friend and his girl back to their homes. i then hung out with my friend for a bit then went back home.

so basicly to sum this all up. i went into this thinking it was more of a date than a giant friend get together which it more of was. she leaned more to the friend get together thing than the date from all she did. i tried not to appear pissed but sometimes couldnt help it cas i was. she knows i was a little pissed about not dancing with me but when i say a little i mean a little i wasnt going red or anything it was just a little akward.

so at this point i don't know what to rly do. prom was akward but everything before it went well. she gave me a few signs that she liked me. she even said she wanted to meet up the day before prom. but that didn't rly happen because she wasnt feeling well and i had more to do to get rdy. i have one itis for this one so i rly need advice.

Do i call? when? do i talk to her at school? what do i do at school? btw i can choose to completely dissapear at school if i want cas shes not in any of my classes.

advice plz.

 

[Stark]

ok well i grabbed myself by the balls once again and texted her to meet me after school to talk. this time tho she texts me back saying what about? this is not a good sign. then my friend tells me that she told him to tell me not to ask her out politely. so then its too late so i text her saying nm. she thinks i say not much. so she thinks i still wants to meet and gets me to meet her. we talk random crap for 3 mins then head on to home. she texts me after saying what did you really want to talk about. and then she says i heard you were going to ask me out and i didnt know if you knew but i have a bf.

and now that i think about it she did give some signs at prom telling me that is was not a good idea to ask her out. they were pretty blatant hints at that and i rly did not think of it till i texted her.

so anyways the next 3 days are pretty akward we go to talk to the same group of friends. then i get invited by my friend to go to his house and hang out with a bunch of friends. she texts me friday after school with just normal talk. i respond with one word awnsers like ya and no cas i was in a conversation. then she says why are you responding in one word responses do you not want to talk to me? so i guess this means shes the one that still wants to be friends or what?

so i meet my friends friday night she is there with her bf. and it suprised me cas her boy friend was not that impressive. i expected somone muscular or extremely handsome if i was the one let off. he was skinny, not muscular, had hippy hair and mustache goatee. basicly if i ever got in a fight with him id be pretty sure i could snap his neck in a matter of seconds. i am pretty muscular looking a little chunky but if i lost like 10 pounds i could be one of those guys advertising bowflex commercials. he also talks less than me and i am a really quiet person! he was pretty much being a vegatable the whole time. i almost laughed at the situation. and laughed even more at how she could like somone like him. but anyway i had a good time. we text each other now but i don't know if i should keep pursuing or wait it out. or what.

 

[Sachiel]

Ouch, man. Seems like the signs in the beginning were positive, but from what I can see, it seems like she was interested at first, but it waned over time.

It seemed like "following the herd" may have made the experience more awkward. By following the herd, you seem submissive and a sheep instead of the shepard. It may have been a minor occurence, but do watch out for that. Do let her talk to her friends though, as Touch said. Did you at least dance by yourself and have a good time? Next time, don't get so worked up. Focus on having fun at prom. Even if you look like a COMPLETE moron, like I do, HAVE FUN! Girls are attracted to men who are enjoying life, although it's not going to send them flocking to you in droves.

To me, if she talked to her boyfriend, I would let her go. The first "letting go" process is the hardest, but after that, you realize it is almost ALWAYS for the better. There are other fish in the sea. Make sure you're bait is the best in the lake. Good luck!

-Sachiel, DJ in Training