Hello I am new here but I wanted to ask advice on what I think is the possible last chance to get my ex back. I am the LTR type of guy and was hoping that maybe one day I could get there with this girl because I really like/liked her. First I'm going to try to give a brief history.
We met online (Zoosk.com) in the spring. Even though she was away at school at the time it turns out she lives about 5 minutes from me. We used to talk about everything and had a great time talking. Then she came home from school and we met in person and had 2 short but good dates.
This is where my insecurities crept in. I have not been in a LTR for awhile and back then I always moved too slow so this time I tried forcing things. I asked her to be my girlfriend after the third date. Bad move especially because I was the first guy she opened up to since her boyfriend broke up with her last summer (2 year relationship)
She always told me things like I made her feel so special and that I opened her heart more than thought possible by anyone. She told me when she was ready to be my girlfriend it would be the best feeling.
I stupidly asked her once later where we stood and she ignored it. Then finally one day she admitted that she had a crush on me and the next day she said we were exclusive. I was so excited.
Then after about 2 and 1/2 weeks she said we need to talk. I knew what was coming and so I told her before she even told me that we were moving too fast. I agreed that we were because we where. But then I let my emotions control me and I thought back to how she had just wanted to be exclusive and how I made here feel and I said: YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
Needless to say she stormed off and we tried to be friends after but we cut it off after a little longer than a week because it was too hard to do.
So a month goes by and I am almost over her although it was so hard because I really liked her. I was not even trying to do no contact I was just too busy. Then suddenly I saw that she viewed my profile online which made me think she was still interested and thinking about me.
So I made my first big mistake-I sent her a message telling her how I felt and how could how I made her feel not mean anything? After a week nothing. Then a made another mistake-Sending a message pretending that it was the first time I met her. Another week and nothing. I knew she was reading these messages though because I could see she viewed my profile.
Then I finally set my emotions aside and recounted our relationship. And I found that she cared so much about me that for a long time she put her happiness aside to try to make me happy and that I messed up really bad.
So I sent her one last message to tell her how much I had learned about relationships and to apologize for certain things and then I planned to do no contact and see if that worked.
Except for whatever reason I sent one last message where I brought up things from the past and even told her I know that she did things for me.
I felt really bad for saying this so I sent one final apology for saying these things and then planned to go no contact. This was yesterday. I told her I know how much those things must have upset her.
Well to my surprise last night there are 2 messages from her. This is what she said (I will capatilize where she did):
Message 1: You did NOT hurt me with what you said. Leave me alone.
Message 2: By the way, do not tell me you KNOW how I feel. You do not KNOW how I feel. So don't assume things.
I did not expect to hear back from her so I was intially caught off guard. Plus she just kept staying online and checking my profile waiting for my response.
So I waited for about an hour and said this:
I am sorry for assuming how you felt. I tend to overanalyze things and I thought you would be upset by the past because I was. And you are right I do not know how you feel because you will not talk to me. At least I know now I did not hurt you.
This caught her off guard because she was right there but did not respond for awhile. Then right before I went to bed I checked one more time and saw this message:
The reason I am not talking to you is because there is nothing between us and there never will be. I am over it. You were not right for me and I let you go. That's it. Sorry.
For the first time in a long time I am in the position to actually respond to what she said. I need advice on what I should say and if you even think she still cares about me.
This is my analysis of what she said since we know women don't say what they really mean:
I did hurt her with what I said. That is why she was so quick to tell her I did not as to defend herself. Then I caught her off guard with my saying I don't know how she feels because she won't talk to me so she put up her defense about there is nothing between us. That whole message was her trying to convince herself that she does not care about me anymore. I mean why would she say she is sorry for me not getting another chance if she feels nothing?
Of course maybe I am totally wrong about all of this and that is really how she feels. Anyway I feel like this is my last chance and don't say just move on because I REALLY like this girl and we had a really strong connection despite my insecurities which I have learned from.
I was thinking of sending something like this: I am glad to know how you feel so I can stop guessing. You were not right for me either so I am moving on as well. Goodbye *girl name*. Good luck with everything.
Tell me what you think. I need your guy's help.
We met online (Zoosk.com) in the spring. Even though she was away at school at the time it turns out she lives about 5 minutes from me. We used to talk about everything and had a great time talking. Then she came home from school and we met in person and had 2 short but good dates.
This is where my insecurities crept in. I have not been in a LTR for awhile and back then I always moved too slow so this time I tried forcing things. I asked her to be my girlfriend after the third date. Bad move especially because I was the first guy she opened up to since her boyfriend broke up with her last summer (2 year relationship)
She always told me things like I made her feel so special and that I opened her heart more than thought possible by anyone. She told me when she was ready to be my girlfriend it would be the best feeling.
I stupidly asked her once later where we stood and she ignored it. Then finally one day she admitted that she had a crush on me and the next day she said we were exclusive. I was so excited.
Then after about 2 and 1/2 weeks she said we need to talk. I knew what was coming and so I told her before she even told me that we were moving too fast. I agreed that we were because we where. But then I let my emotions control me and I thought back to how she had just wanted to be exclusive and how I made here feel and I said: YOU DON"T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
Needless to say she stormed off and we tried to be friends after but we cut it off after a little longer than a week because it was too hard to do.
So a month goes by and I am almost over her although it was so hard because I really liked her. I was not even trying to do no contact I was just too busy. Then suddenly I saw that she viewed my profile online which made me think she was still interested and thinking about me.
So I made my first big mistake-I sent her a message telling her how I felt and how could how I made her feel not mean anything? After a week nothing. Then a made another mistake-Sending a message pretending that it was the first time I met her. Another week and nothing. I knew she was reading these messages though because I could see she viewed my profile.
Then I finally set my emotions aside and recounted our relationship. And I found that she cared so much about me that for a long time she put her happiness aside to try to make me happy and that I messed up really bad.
So I sent her one last message to tell her how much I had learned about relationships and to apologize for certain things and then I planned to do no contact and see if that worked.
Except for whatever reason I sent one last message where I brought up things from the past and even told her I know that she did things for me.
I felt really bad for saying this so I sent one final apology for saying these things and then planned to go no contact. This was yesterday. I told her I know how much those things must have upset her.
Well to my surprise last night there are 2 messages from her. This is what she said (I will capatilize where she did):
Message 1: You did NOT hurt me with what you said. Leave me alone.
Message 2: By the way, do not tell me you KNOW how I feel. You do not KNOW how I feel. So don't assume things.
I did not expect to hear back from her so I was intially caught off guard. Plus she just kept staying online and checking my profile waiting for my response.
So I waited for about an hour and said this:
I am sorry for assuming how you felt. I tend to overanalyze things and I thought you would be upset by the past because I was. And you are right I do not know how you feel because you will not talk to me. At least I know now I did not hurt you.
This caught her off guard because she was right there but did not respond for awhile. Then right before I went to bed I checked one more time and saw this message:
The reason I am not talking to you is because there is nothing between us and there never will be. I am over it. You were not right for me and I let you go. That's it. Sorry.
For the first time in a long time I am in the position to actually respond to what she said. I need advice on what I should say and if you even think she still cares about me.
This is my analysis of what she said since we know women don't say what they really mean:
I did hurt her with what I said. That is why she was so quick to tell her I did not as to defend herself. Then I caught her off guard with my saying I don't know how she feels because she won't talk to me so she put up her defense about there is nothing between us. That whole message was her trying to convince herself that she does not care about me anymore. I mean why would she say she is sorry for me not getting another chance if she feels nothing?
Of course maybe I am totally wrong about all of this and that is really how she feels. Anyway I feel like this is my last chance and don't say just move on because I REALLY like this girl and we had a really strong connection despite my insecurities which I have learned from.
I was thinking of sending something like this: I am glad to know how you feel so I can stop guessing. You were not right for me either so I am moving on as well. Goodbye *girl name*. Good luck with everything.
Tell me what you think. I need your guy's help.
