Need advice, pointers, Criticism........(long)

[pvf94]

Ok, I realise that there are many post's here that are probably very similar to this. Also, this is going to be a long post that will probably sound very needy and confusing, I just need people to pick at bits and pieces of it....tell me what I can do to improve, or recommend some sort of help, based on what I am writing that is. I am going to post everything that is on my mind, some of it may come across as random, but still....if you have any advice for even a little piece of this post anything would be greatly appreciated, because I am seriously not motivated enough, and I feel like I do not know what I am capable of or what I could be doing right or wrong. Again, based on the information I give, just peck through it and if you spot something you can comment on go for it, flame it, critique it, make fun of it, whatever.....I am desperate for information. Dont be afraid to hurt my feelings, or call out anything so obvious it is painful, because I am starting from ground zero here. I am 18 year's old, I have never been kissed, I am a virgin, Never been on a date, and I am shy. My skills with woman are horrible it seem's, and I am going to try my best to explain what is going on with me right now. Sorry in advance for the long post.....if it is so bad that it needs to be deleted moderator's, by all means go for it.

I have been reading post after post here, read a solid amount of E-book's (Becoming an alpha-male, Double your dating, A few body language book's......etc)

I have been doing this for about a month, I have slowly been applying my new found knowledge, and it is starting to show results. For example, I normally did not get any sort of interaction with females, and ever since I have started to change my posture, appear more relaxed/open, ****y and funny, woman have actually been approaching me. (in class that is, not out in public)It is pretty amusing, although I am still working on building up some confidence to approach THEM I have definently been noticing some subtle, yet definent improvement.

I have also started to go wander around my small city just simply making eye contact with everybody possible, holding it, and saying "hi" with a genuine happy smile (not a all teeth say cheese grin). I find it extremely easy to maintain eye contact with members of the same sex, older woman, and un attractive woman, but when I come across the path of somebody that is ATTRACTIVE to me, I either hold eye contact until they look away, or I lose the battle and just lose eye contact and look down. It is getting frustrating when I cannot get past this small stage, the problem is that when I see somebody attractive I am un-able to smile or even say hi, I can only stare back or look away.....I think I am so used to looking away that it has turned into a sub-concious act. Even though these people are all complete stranger's to me, I still seem to lose the battle of being confident and showing any direct interest to them, instead I just say to myself "I will say hi and smile to the next one" And I never do, how on earth can I overcome this problem? This only happens when It is a complete stranger. I am able to smile and talk and so forth with people I know slightly at school *even attractive females I only know slightly* But it seem's like I completly freeze in the overall public scene such as a supermarket.

Here is another problem, there is a girl I am attracted to that I have in one of my classes she sits right next to me and I am either over analysing things or she is showing signs of interest. I do not know this girl, all I know is her name and her grade, she might even know my name just from hearing it from my buddies calling me from across the room or something, but as far as I am concerned me and this girl have never really been introduced to each other, we simply sit next to each other by coincidence.

The signs I am noticing are as follow's, and I can list a hell of a lot of them....I dont know if they are good or bad, but I notice everything because I am so attracted to her that I take mental note of everything she does when class is in session. I am the only guy that sits next to her also. She sits no more than 2-3 feet to the right of me in a desk. Here are a list of signs that I have been taking mental note of. A few of them happen every day.

Rubbing her thighs/legs up and down with her hands. (atleast 5 times each class period)

Flipping her hair

Turning her head and you know how you get that feeling somebody is looking at you, this happens every class. I dont know if I should turn my head to hers and see if she is looking at me, or if that would be weird for me to just look at her randomly and it turns out that she is just staring out the window or something.

I mirror her body language and sometimes if I can lead her to do things, one thing that she does that I do if I start leading her is resting her head on the palm of her hand, for example....I rest my hand on my left palm, she does the same. OTher times, I will scratch the area under my nose, and she will do the same.

We were in the library one day, and she was standing about 10 feet away from me and I was looking at her very briefly every 30 seconds or so to see if I could catch her looking at me, and one time she was looking at me when I looked up to her eyes. I lost the battle, didnt smile, and just looked down and away.

She sits a table to the right of me at lunch and one time, she came in-between the two tables and I was sitting down, she was standing and I looked to my right and up at her, and she made eye contact and Smiled at me, I slightly returned the favor out of shock or something.

One time I wrote a pass to go to the restroom halfway through one of my classes, and I turned a corner and she was leaving her class and I was on the right she was on the left, she glanced at me for a split second, I tried to make eye contact but she looked down and to the right, I also noticed that she started clicking her pen with her thumb kind of fast, was this potentially a sign of nervousness on her part?

She touches her chin/cheek

She crosses her legs, in this manner.....Right leg over left, and her right leg is pointing in my direction. Sometimes she rubs it against the leg of the desk, combined with flipping her hair or touching her face in some way.

She dropped her pen once, I leaned down and got it for her, she did like a really quick laugh when I did.

She was talking to a person behind me, the person she was talking to said "I know something you dont" and she was asking this person what do you know, So I turned around and said, "hey I want in on this too!" and the girl I like laughed..

I made eye contact with her the other day, and actually spoke to her about one of our assignments, I sort of told her my results for a little quiz. She was laughing about that and held eye contact with me, I even squeezed out a genuine smile when I was telling her.

Sometimes her legs are open, other times they are crossed at the feet, not the knees.

I layed my head down once, she copied...it was when a movie was on.

OK, I am extremely sorry about the length of this so far, I know you are probably all thinking im a ****ing fruitcake or something, but I am just desperate for some sort of re-assurance. And I figured, I can give you every little detail possible, to analyze my situation.

Ok, I am extremely insecure about my body too.....I started running 1-2 miles a day for the past 2 miles, and I have lost 15 pounds. Here is a pic of me, http://img296.imageshack.us/my.php?image=143302072lui4.jpg judge it....be brutally honest, am I ugly? Would I look good if i Lost another 15 pounds?



Ok, end note here.....browse through this for me....analyze it, give me some pointers, does the girl seem interested in me? Is she displaying positive signs? How can I become more confident?

Pick at any part of my post, I am expecting the whole oneitis thing, but I just want to know if I should make any sort of move, or how I can go about sparking convo with her in class.


thanks and sorry, if this needs to be deleted or moved, go for it.....it seems like there is a ton of great people here, and the slightest bit of advice or criticism would greatly be appreciated. :rock:

 

[pvf94]

As for the girl ---> She's mirroring you, she's preening, she's exposing skin, yadda yadda. She's attracted. These are IOI's. Indicators of interest. MOVE IN BEFORE SHE GIVES UP!

As for your first problem... what can I say.. just fight the fear and look at people. You're the main character in the movie that is your life. All these girls play supporting roles at the least. Make them realize their role is nothing more than supporting. You are the star.

Thank's for the reply, Got any ideas to spark something up during class?

 

[pvf94]

haha, alright man....really do appreciate you replying, your the only one....must be something to do with how silly the questions are heh...

 

[pvf94]

lmao, maybe somebody else will give me some feedback.....I hope

 

[pvf94]

Alright you actually HAVE a real problem so we will start from the basics.

By looking at your picture you most definatly ARE a handsome guy and your face hasn't even begun to mature yet so with age you will get better and better looking. You are a little chubby, juuust a little bit on the husky side BUT that is something you KNOW you can fix by going to the gym, running (like you are doing right now make sure you keep it up) etc etc. So physical wise once you get your body and mind in unison your confidence levels will rise ridicilously.

As for other aspects of your life the one step that seperates you from the rest is that you have actually realized that you must apply ALL the crap you read which is a task in itself. BUT since you have realized it you KNOW now what you must do in order to be successful. The thing is that alot of this stuff on the site is good and all (from experienced posters) BUT even though you might have the facts and knowledge, applying and experience is a completely different monster to tackle. Their are subconcious barriers that you probably don't even know you have BUT until you go out their you will never know and the more you begin to do it the more you will see your weaknesses ...your flaws.

Self-improvement takes time because you aren't even comfortable in your own skin yet, so you HAVE to take it one step at a time. Slow and steady wins the race BUT you must continue to stay in the race. Learn to get your life together and women will flow to you. As for that girl in your class, if you tacher assigns you a group project make sure you ask that girl if she wants to work with you, you know what better yet don't even ask TELL HER SHE IS GOING TO BE IN YOUR GROUP!!!. Say hi to her and take the conversation somewhere else ABOUT her. Ask her how her weekend was, what you have to realize is that in order to seduce women you HAVE to make them feel good about themselves BY making them talk about themselves because women love to talk especially about themselves.

That's just one of the things I can tell you but you should NOT have any fear about women or be fearful OF women because most girls ARE shy, low-selfsteem, insecure little girls because they are human as well. Continue to self-improve and things WILL fall into place if you believe in it enough.

Good Luck!!!!!. :rockon:

:yes: Did not expect a response that good from anybody, any more like that and I think me and this website are going to make babies. lmao props budd!

 

[Le Parisien]

Just for a little start, because I need to go to bed now... More useful things and details tomorrow...

For god's sake, you are actually a good looking young man!!! I couldn't believe you would be feeling this way, but hey it's alright... At certain point in my life, I also had some doubt like this, especially about my looks. Ok it's not the point here, let's come back to you...

You still have some babyfat on, or maybe you it's because of the junkfood you eat I don't know. But if you start taking care of yourself, like eating right, doing sports, you have very good potential!!!

I can't tell how tall you are from the picture alone, but anyway, since you look young, I don't think you are done grwoing yet.

So far so good!!!:yes:

More tomorrow.

 

[Cod3r]

Being brutally honest --> You got a LONG way to go...

The other people will handle all of your inner-game issues, but I'll just add that you need to forget about fvcking or getting with the old lady of yours. You should try some things out just for experience, but don't expect or look forward to good result plain and simple (flame away if you must)

IMO you're an average dude, nothing sub-par, nothing way above average, so with some game you shouldn't have any problems gaming girls in the realm of 7-8, 9 possible with some extreme game and confidence and working that body into a chisseled masterpiece

You're no further behind than anyone else on here, you'll be fine brother. Good luck on your journey !


-Cod3r

 

[pvf94]

Im 5' 8"...And that pic is a wee bit old, probably nearing 2 years old, ill grab you the most recent one I have........this one is about 1 year old. I look even a bit thinner now....ill get a pic if myself right now, and up load it tommarrow. For now here is what I look like after aging a little bit....

http://myspace-749.vo.llnwd.net/00144/94/79/144089749_l.jpg


And I look forward to your full post le parisien!!

And thanks for your honesty Coder, I will never get anywhere without the truth!

 

[pvf94]

time for school, lets see if this day can be fun.

 

[Le Parisien]

Ok, after looking at your more "mature" picture, I get you are the average height but big boned kind of guy.

Actually you remind me of my Capoeira teacher, 25 years old, about 5'9 (just like me by the way), but pretty "big". Not the bodybuilder juiced up big, but naturally built. He's a really confident but truely good person. Plus he can really kick some azz!:yes:

Sure you won't be a male model anytime soon, but your face is at least average.

Anyway, in the looks department, you are definitely not a 9, but you have nothing to worry about either. Maybe over time you will get cooler haircuts or nicer clothes and develop your style. But it will come with time.

Now I'd done talking about the appearances. Let's focus on the real deal here.


I kind of just started to browse through when you started to talk about the girl in such detailed manner like:

She crosses her legs, in this manner.....Right leg over left, and her right leg is pointing in my direction. Sometimes she rubs it against the leg of the desk, combined with flipping her hair or touching her face in some way.

Just read it again, see how is is a textbook case of overanalyzing things???
Reading body language is important, but many people (ironically people who are not the most socially smart) would take it too far, they would develop theories about how girls would play with their hair this X and Y way or cross their legs Y and Z direction/ways to mean XYZ things.

We are human beings, trust your guts when you are reading body language, stop "thinking".
Just like with any other language, you will become better if you actually practice it more often.This is what I mean:

- When you first start, you don't know what to expect. Like "hey it looks like she's checking me out", "maybe she likes me", "she's looking at me, not anybody else" etc...

- At this point, you don't know if you are right or wrong. So the only way to know is to do something about the situation and approach her. If she's really interested, then great, you won, plus you gained knowledge about body language. If she' not, no big deal, you made progress in the understanding of body language.

- It's like when inexperienced guys always ask question like "I danced with a girl this XYZ way, so do you think she likes me?" "We kissed on the dance floor, can I go as far as taking her home?" "Does she like it when I get hard grinding with her?" etc... No one's born knowing/understanding body language, it comes with experience.

- When you are inexperienced, your "guts" will be very unreliable. The typical case would be girls looking your direction for whatever reason you take it that she likes you. Or girls who actually like you but would avoid you for some reasons and you think you are turning her off.

- With experienced, you will instinctively know what to expect, and your "guts" will be very reliable. For you, but also for other people around you. Once at a club, one ugly dude got a HB7 who came up to dance with him. Since I go to clubs a lot, looking at the whole setting, my guts were telling me she was just a typical attention wh*re while a friend of mine was getting all jealous of the ugly dude. "She will leave him within 2 minutes" I said, and she did within just 30 seconds. My friend was amazed how I could "predict" things while it was simply about reading body language adn social awareness.

My point is this: take action! Take action instead of thinking about it. You learn by practicing, not by thinking about it.

You are still young, you have plenty of time to improve yourself.

 

[pvf94]

^^ this guy is the man. haha, thanks buddy im hyped....Im starting to feel a rush of confidence, and a need to improve.

This makes me smile