need advice on what to say.. not what to do

[giorgio]

Hey guys,
Im not a full blown DJ but I do ok as far as keeping myself happy. Ive come across some situations where I NC'd someone for a while and they persist and when they DO get a hold of me or see me out and ask me what the problem is (its usually due to flaking) I tend to give weird answers like "I dont know what youre talking about, Im cool, just been busy" or something to that effect.. Im being honest but its kinda weird when it comes out. They dont expect that answer.

In other words I dont have a problem dropping someone or NCing them, its just kinda weird when I DO see then again, know what I mean? Plus in some caes after I NCd them for a while, when IS the right to talk to them again? After all, I dont hate them. Im not going to marry anyone soon and I could care less if they just end up being somone on the side. Im not sure if Im making much sense but the only way I could explain it is I DONT get attached, I have NO problem detaching but I dont know if Im too harsh sometimes.I dont know..

Case in point, this girl flaked twice and I stopped calling/texting etc.. Today she sent me a few texts saying whats up, etc.. are you mad? hellooo? How do you guys handle that?

 

[DJ_Tekinkel]

Well no contact means exactly that...
but i guess if you HAD to reply or CHOSE to
you could reply with closed , polite answers.

"Whats up" = Not much just been really busy with life!
Are you mad" = No im not the hulk.
Helloo = Hello

I dunno?

Usually with NC you just stop talking to them, if you see them be polite but distant, show absolutely NO interest in them.

 

[Trendsetter]

Her: "are you mad"

You: "mad about what, that's kind of a random question"

anyway, no contact does mean no contact, you should be talking to other girls to keep you from wondering what kind of silly games this girl is playing, she's obviously playing games. If you do reply, don't get all logical and be like, "yes I am upset, you flaked on me and didn't call me" but it seems like you already know that. Her asking "are you mad" out of the blue just shows she's a gamer seeking validation. If you give her what she wants to hear, she'll be validated knowing you were bothered and thinking about her actions the past few days

It's not gonna be weird unless you make it weird, you set the frame for every interaction, or at least try to. I had a situation with a chick I was trying to hook up with, for one reason or another she'd cancel on me then I'd see her out and she'd be nice to me and we'd do the song n dance again only for her to not reply to my texts again, saw her out again, she ran up to me, gave me a hug, I gave a half a$$ed hug, she said something like "that was the worst hug ever" I kind of looked her off and walked off and started talking to other girls in her face, but I was genuine about it, I really was not trying to interact with her again, it was no game. I deleted her number and am never gonna call or text her again, my time is more valuable than some petty games chicks play, plus there are so many other chicks that are willing participants that I/you don't have to even stress about that one girl

 

[giorgio]

good answers. what if she doesnt play the "are you mad" card and she just strikes up regular convo? thats when i kinda get stumped. and i appreciate the responses. i DO keep myself busy with other people and other things i enjoy doing, im just not "there" quite yet when it comes to some of my responses but Im getting there thanks to u guys