There a girl I've been hangin out with lately, but I havent gotten physical or sexual at all with her. I just went on a 5th date to the movies, but I still couldn't make a move, didnt even hold her or kiss her. I think we're both physically attracted to each other, but I've been shy and reserved with her so far. Some of my friends have said I should call her and just let her know that I'm interested in her and that I like her and that I'm a laid back guy sometimes so that she'd know that I do like her and understand whats happening. I'm debating if I should do this or maybe invite her over for dinner and make a move. I really like this girl more than any other girl I've been dealing with, but she probably doesnt even know due to my inactivity. What do you guys think?
Need advice on what to do after 5th date
- Thread starter Dman101
- Start date
Igetit!
Moderator
I'm surprised you made it to date number 5. You'll need to make some kind of move on her...and soon,or she'll either think you're not interested in her,or you're too afraid to kiss her,BOTH OF WHICH are BAD.Dman101 said:
Also,she'll start to wonder what the point of you two going out.
DO NOT DO THIS.Dman101 said:
Your friends meant well,but please...don't do that.
Women want a man. They don't want a guy who's explaining to them why they can't or haven't been acting manly.
Trust me,she won't be simpathetic to you being shy or reserved,she'll just be turned off,but you'll never know it.
She'll appear to be understanding to what you're saying,then she'll avoid you and flake on you when you try to see her again.
The dinner idea is the way to go. But if you do is and she accepts and comes over to your place,YOU WILL need to make a move on the girl.Dman101 said:
Do something dude. Otherwise,you'll lose her.
Don't listen to what your friends said.
Damn, thing is I think we'd be soo good together if i could just get this going, but everytime i chicken out, and she still initiates texts, but I"m thinking shes probably confused and wondering watsup. I just been isolated for a long time, so I lost my game, and this dream girl of mines comes back into my life. Whats a great scenerio (step by step) for escalating this next time
I'm on the same boat . Just took her to a third day and still no kiss close. Mines is an hb9 and her hotness is what keeping me on my toes. This weekend I will take her to a movie and just go for the kiss.
P.s. Recovering from oneitis.
P.s. Recovering from oneitis.
Serg897
Master Don Juan
This is easier than it seems.
JUST KISS HER. Just man up and do it. Its not difficult. If you are keen enough its easy to tell if a girl is attracted and if she wants to be kissed.
The fact that she is still seeing you after 5 dates is good, but at this point its possible you may have already started to descend into the friends-zone. Regardless, the only way you will know where you are with this girl is to go for the kiss.
No more excuses. Just do it
JUST KISS HER. Just man up and do it. Its not difficult. If you are keen enough its easy to tell if a girl is attracted and if she wants to be kissed.
The fact that she is still seeing you after 5 dates is good, but at this point its possible you may have already started to descend into the friends-zone. Regardless, the only way you will know where you are with this girl is to go for the kiss.
No more excuses. Just do it
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Firstly, read Igetit's post ^ a few times again. It is on the money.Dman101 said:
Now -
She continues to text you because she is holding the door open waiting for you to walk through it. You have built the two most important elements here, Attraction and Comfort... with these in place you are only one move away from a TD. You are running in the end zone.
Invite her to dinner, cook something spicy and exotic which can provide her with the opportunity to comment to bridge any awkwardness, and let your hormones be your guide. Boldness and action, my man.
Have a FR on my desk by 9am the following morning, Private Dman.
I think you shouldn't invite her over to dinner to "make a move" on her. She's not a condo you have to close on. She's a girl who has sexual feelings and emotions like you. You have to let things flow naturally. If you guys have been on 5 dates and are still uncomfortable with each other, that's fine, but it's awkward you are still hanging out together.Dman101 said:
You haven't even kissed her and you just went on your 5th date? most people already have had sex by then! You are 1 lucky dude she is a good girl and keeps giving you chances. But remember that women want a man of action and if you don't give her action some other guy will. On your 6th date the moment you meet up with her you need to start the kino. Give her a hug, touch her arm/shoulders/hand, do this throughout the date to get her in the mood and ready for escalation and the kiss.
If you don't kiss her ASAP don't be surprised if she puts you in the friend zone. She's a good girl or else she would have done it already but she can't be patient forever.
If you don't kiss her ASAP don't be surprised if she puts you in the friend zone. She's a good girl or else she would have done it already but she can't be patient forever.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Jeez that is so wishy washy. You misunderstand human dynamics.DonJuan11 said:
What we have here is a situation with two PASSIVE people waiting for the other to make a move. That is a recipe for endless paralysis.
Unless Dman takes some action to close her she will transfer her "sexual feelings and emotions" on to the next assertive guy who is bold enough to walk though her open door.
DonJuan11, perhaps your advice might be valued more over at LoveShack.org.
alphaace
Don Juan
invite her over to play some guitar hero, make sure dr. johnny walker is there and challange her to a few songs
haha, this is just like what tyler durden was saying in foundations how when you find the girl you really want sometime you play it different and hold back. The woman of my dreams is actually into me in some way, and i'm letting her get away, this is really painful guys
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
"Sometimes". This is not one of those times.Dman101 said:
it has been so far. The thing is i met her 2 yrs ago from facebook, and was too touchy and creepy so she said i was too touchy, then months lata she started texting me again asking how i been, and here we are 2 yrs lata she asks me to hang out, she took the initiative and now we're in a passive weird dating mode. I had a facebook crush on her all this time, and was talking about her all this time, so its just very weird for her to come back and ask me to hang out, so Ive been ultra laid back with her.
Gangster Of Love
Master Don Juan
Dman101 said:
Again, this is not one of those times where you pull back. What Tyler says only will work when you have set everything up the right way from the start. In other words, that is a more advanced move that will nothing but dig you deeper in the whole if you apply it to you and your situation.
If you have it all figured as to what you should do, based on what a long term Facebook crush says she want's or doesn't want, why are you here confused as to what to do?
You have gotten solid advice from pretty skilled ****smiths in this forum, telling you what to do and giving you advice that works, yet you resist it and seem to be content with being addicted to your struggels. You tell us what you do and been doing and it is clear to everyone where this is headed or is at already. Let me be candid, you are most likely already in the friends zone, permanently, regardless of what she says, all due to your lack of action.
If your goal is to be her "asexual" buddy, or her girl-friend, then keep doing what you are doing. If you want her romantically/sexually, as somebody else said, you need to man up, YESTERDAY!!!!
Stop doing what she tells you to do or wants you to do and start doing what works. Plant a kiss on her the very next time you see her, and forget about all these getting together for dinner. Your/her place, a dvd movie and some physical attempt escalation. Subtle, don't get creepy. If she thinks you are being too creepy, it means she doesn't want you romantically/sexually. I've never had a girl that was into me tell me I am creepy and move to fast, no matter how fast or how soon I had met her before we got physical.
Yea i was just saying that tyler said some guys make that wrong move of not going for it, and thats what i've been doing so far. The plan is to invite her ova cook for her rent some movies then go for it. She scares the **** out of me but you guys are right. I just cant imagine us having sex for some reason because she seems so nice and beautiful and its just been painful knowing I have a chance with the woman I've wanted for 2 yrs and that I'm blowing it.
legolas
Master Don Juan
Getting the first kiss out of the way is huge in setting the tone for the remaining dates. You don't even need to invite her over and cook dinner and make a move, in fact I'd advise against this till after the first kiss because it will put too much pressure on you to "make a move" Unless you plan a cooking date and only make out, don't do it. Wait till after the first kiss.
Now on the subject of the first kiss, first plan out the location. I've done it on the street with no problem, but if you want you can do it in the car. Just take her hand, and say "Come, I want to show you something" if she asks what, tell her it's a secret. Then when you get her to this place, whatever that may be, turn her around so you face her, look her deep in the eyes, with a smile and say something like "I've been meaning to tell you...........*kiss her*.....you have very kissable lips"
Now on the subject of the first kiss, first plan out the location. I've done it on the street with no problem, but if you want you can do it in the car. Just take her hand, and say "Come, I want to show you something" if she asks what, tell her it's a secret. Then when you get her to this place, whatever that may be, turn her around so you face her, look her deep in the eyes, with a smile and say something like "I've been meaning to tell you...........*kiss her*.....you have very kissable lips"
You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.
Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.