Need Advice: How would you handle these date situations and make them more sexual?

[anonymous12345]

You have to go out and do it. Fail and learn. Every guy is born with varying degrees of natural ability. That's a fact. You would have noticed back in school that there were boys who were popular with girls from day 1. They were seemingly born knowing what to do, complete with the c0ckyfunny personality and everything.

Me, I was born was looks but a lot of shyness and passiveness. Girls liked how I looked, but soon got turned off because I didn't know how to communicate in attractive ways. My mindset was in reverse. I thought I just had to show up and a girl would be immediately able to make a positive judgement because I knew that I looked good. I had that self awareness. But then all the uglier guys were getting the girls in school that I wanted. I didn't understand.

But I then began to notice that the guys who were getting the girls tended to have dominant personalities, were bullies, but were also popular and loved because they were funny, rude and a bit dangerous. They were also storytellers.

I was pretty introverted so I just sat back and observed everything. I gradually began to develop a framework of things that did and didn't work. Over time I took successful encounters that I had with women and just replicated what worked and continually fine tuned it over time.

I am not going to pretend for a second that I was born knowing what to do. I was not a naturally good communicator with women. It's something I developed over time. I think working in the sales industry at a young age, particularly cold calling and selling insurance products, helped me get over a lot of the approach anxiety and social awkwardness that was holding me back.

Hell, you're pretty much describing me spot on. The pretty boy who fails at later stages. I actually think that your own self image/look can shape the way you interact. For instance, "beauty" can shape you into conformant or timid behaviour that doesn't sacrifice the "beauty". If you're ugly, there is no appreciation from other people to loose so you don't give a **** -- there's a freedom in ugliness. Notice how loud many ugly women are, for instance. Hard to break loose from this, certainly in my case. Tomassi also writes about this in, Perfect is Boring.

At clubs I get girls basically stolen from me by the arrogant "bad boys". I realise this attitude of them is attractive to girls, but I cannot at all resonate with it. A man who has experienced the horrors of life or actually tried to do something difficult, isn't ****y and arrogant. Or? It baffles me that girls doesn't comprehend that. This is one reason to why the rock star is attractive -- he does something comparatively simple and therefore got the surplus to have attitude.

It's funny, I think one can sometimes see the different attitudes in people here on SS. For instance, I don't think @SW15 is arrogant in real life, but I'd say @2Rocky is (assuming internet/IRL-personas match).

How does one become an arrogant baller?

 

[HaleyBaron]

Thanks! This is absolutely a problem for me with regards to making women my friend. So you are spot on. Can you tell, from my original post interaction with this woman, what would you have said and done differently to make her "an accessory" or a sex object? Specifics would be very helpful as I have struggled, thanks!

It's not about what you say, but what you do. Any guy can say what you said, but it's how they do it that would lead to different results. Also, it's an attitude adjustment. If I were to write a book, I'd tell each man to regress to his pre-puberty state and regrab what you lost there, and absorb it into your current adulthood.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Confidence is the single biggest thing with charm being a close second

Lets say you've done a horrible job representing your clients in every court case you've been a part of. How are you confident that your a good lawyer?

 

[HaleyBaron]

True, there is humbleness you need when it comes to confidence. Though if you have confidence to correct your mistakes, that's the good kind of confidence.

 

[Sebastian0001]

No - she won't go home thinking that so long as you made the 15% count. You need to maintain a lot of eye contact, have a genuine smile/smirk on your face while she is talking, keep it light, and be initiating kino throughout. You aren't a mute - you are asking her questions, letting her talk, and responding to what she says. Give her a little bit of a hard time here or there (not too much) and use kino throughout the conversations.

Once you get this down you will be surprised how many first date lays you can get.

does the 15% need to include some sort of sexual teasing and sexual inuendos to get the tension going too? Or are you saying kino, silence, smirk, keep it light is good enough?

 

[Sebastian0001]

This is a definitely a nice balance. I've certainly experimented with different balances of "letting her talk" versus me etc. But I'll say it again, just by the way you write I can see you tell stories in attractive and engaging ways. So you've got a huge advantage over other guys.

Confidence is huge, like you say. As is charm. That's all carried across with confident, charming, sexy conversation combined with body language and touch. All the stuff you already know.

What i've found is this - storytelling is somewhat akin to spelling casting. You're putting a spell on her. It's almost like spiking her drink or something, but with your words. I've found that, through telling a good story, I can put a woman under such a powerful spell at times that I feel like the Pied Piper with a rat following me home.

lol sounds like ur stories are damn good, u don't have to tell us the story but i'd love to know the topic!

 

[Barrister]

Lets say you've done a horrible job representing your clients in every court case you've been a part of. How are you confident that your a good lawyer?

Apples to oranges comparison, brother. How you do on a date doesn’t mean anything. You’re playing with house money. And this is a major point - because to be yourself and be the most confident version of yourself you can’t care about the outcome.

 

[Barrister]

does the 15% need to include some sort of sexual teasing and sexual inuendos to get the tension going too? Or are you saying kino, silence, smirk, keep it light is good enough?

Not necessarily. Sometimes what is not overtly communicated with words is even more powerful. This is especially true if you are applying kino correctly. You communicate in other ways that make a woman wet far more than words.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Apples to oranges comparison, brother. How you do on a date doesn’t mean anything. You’re playing with house money. And this is a major point - because to be yourself and be the most confident version of yourself you can’t care about the outcome.

So pretty much just know that I'm the shjt, and assume females want my djck? I'm not criticizing. I recognize you're more successful than I am. Just getting your perspective.

 

[DonJuanjr]

Unfortunately man. I’ve discovered that apologising to women almost never has a positive benefit. Apology is submission and women will punish you. It’s better to not apologise and double down with amused mastery. If I do apologise to a woman, in a rare case, I would do a Bill Clinton style apology “mistakes were made.”

On the other hand, apologising to men works very well because we have more of an honour code.

What I’ve found does work with women is talking about yourself from the point of view of a Fallen Angel, full of sin. Appear remorseful, but not too much.

You misunderstood my analogy. Females aren't the clients. They're the court cases. I'm not talking about apologizing for anything. I refuse to apologize to a female. Unless I killed her dog or something.

 

[Sebastian0001]

I was relentless but I don’t know how many times I was caught - let’s say I was caught cheating 11 times over a 2 year period.

The first 10 times I did not apologise and she always came back within a day or 2. The 11th time I apologised and I didn’t hear from her for over a year.

Make of that what you will. But that’s my data and experience.

When you’re a man who’s caught cheating the first time, it then makes it easier for her to continually catch you because she knows you’re a lying sack of sh1t and you’re on her radar now. She sees you as a Bad Daddy who needs to be monitored at all times.

was this a woman with very low self-confidence? I've been dating a woman and she was cheated on and immediately left the guy and it was a long term relationship in which she was invested in. I feel like high self-worth women wouldn't stay around for cheating because cheating is their biggest issue.

 

[Sebastian0001]

The story itself is just an interesting story about you doing believable DHV things that you know will turn her on. Combined with this, as Barrister rightly says, is your charm, body language and touch. The delivery of your story is as important as the contents of your story.

Charm, body language and touch alone can be enough to seal a lay. As Barrister has discovered. But I’ve discovered you supercharge it with a DHV story.

yes but you are kind of evading the question - what is a TOPIC that would turn her on in terms of a story? I mean I could tell her a story about so many things in my life but I'm not sure what TOPIC would be a true turn on.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

It's so funny, you respond to me like I'm NOT a woman, and proceed to tell me that I, as a woman, have a weak sense of reality, among other character flaws (lizard brain, lol).

Thank you so much for your analysis! It's great coming here and learning so much about myself! Lol

Much appreciated "Pan." You're quite the guy.

He's not responding to you. He's using your comment for illustrative purposes, just like mine is. No need for a reply.

 

[Sebastian0001]

It's so funny, you respond to me like I'm NOT a woman, and proceed to tell me that I, as a woman, have a weak sense of reality, among other character flaws (lizard brain, lol).

Thank you so much for your analysis! It's great coming here and learning so much about myself! Lol

Much appreciated "Pan." You're quite the guy.

I hate to say it, but women have a very weak sense of their own emotions and their own attraction. They honestly have no clue. I have learned to never listen to what a women says on these types of things and this is coming from a person with GREAT respect for women. They are such insanely emotional creatures that they can so easily be toyed with and that is why nice guys lose because they don't know how to work their emotions. A guy, even if he is not good looking and doesn't have a lot going for him, will ALWAYS succeed with a woman if he knows how to work her emotions, trigger her, and how to play the game. This is why it is very common to see ugly fat out of shape dumb guys with hot women. That would NEVER happen in reverse with a handsome man and an ugly fat out of shape dumb woman. Its just the simple truth.

 

[Sebastian0001]

You should know what women are attracted to. If not, it’s time to go out into the field and find out. I can’t spoon feed you. You won’t learn this way.

When you know what women are attracted to, these become the hook points in your story.

I do though. They are attracted to masculinity, power, being treated like a sex object and the inner slut that they are, confidence, and really a challenge who is not a doormat.

Correct? But I don't know how I'd map these into the DHV story. Trust me, I've been in the field A LOT and I used to have no issues. My problem right now is that a 8 year relationship and broken engagement has ****ed me up and brought back some blue pill concepts. That is why I am here to relearn the alpha mindset and go back to red pill.

 

[Sebastian0001]

He probably apologised to her

lol so ur saying all a guy has to do to keep a woman after cheating is to refuse to apologize? I don't think so. You would have all her friends and her parents and family demanding her to break up. I'd argue that sometimes the apology makes them emotional and want to come back and think things like "aw he loves me and he is remorseful and made a mistake" - remember Kobe Bryant did that to his wife Vanessa after cheating? In fact, he bought her a 4 million dollar ring as part of his apology. It worked well for him and no one is going to ever mistake Kobe for having been anything but an alpha.

 

[Sebastian0001]

g

Why do you hate to say it? I agree with you. I've posted many times, not just here, that women are emotional creatures and a smart man who knows how to tap into a woman's emotions will be successful (get laid).

There is nothing hateful about saying that, I own it. I am very aware of that "reality."

I just thought Pan's response was funny, the way he worded it as if he were giving advice to a man. I dunno, since this is a man's forum, perhaps he forgot I was actually a woman, lol.. Or maybe he was simply illustrating a point like @BillyPilgrim said.

Doesn't matter, my post was meant to be tongue-n-cheek anyway.

Anyway, this will be my last post here, at least for awhile, I'll leave you guys to it.

It's been fun though, thanks.

Ciao.

Thanks! Can you tell us a little more about you? I appreciate that you take a realistic mindset. What is your age? Are you hot? lol

 

[Sebastian0001]

You should know what women are attracted to. If not, it’s time to go out into the field and find out. I can’t spoon feed you. You won’t learn this way.

When you know what women are attracted to, these become the hook points in your story.

lol ok i don't think you even know

 

[anonymous12345]

Your biggest mistake is trying to comprehend why women are attracted to men, from your male perspective.

Women's attraction triggers don't make sense to you because you're not a woman. Woman think, experience and live a totally different and alien life to you.

This is the starting point in furthering your understanding of women. Do not seek to understand why a fish cannot climb a tree. She is a fish, you are a monkey. She swims in water, you climb trees. Instead start to think about how you can make your "tree" look more like a "river" so that she might swim into it.

I have a problem with adopting the arrogance -- I don't find it respectable at all. I look down upon the c0cky arrogant guys, I find them immature and haven't experienced life. Because it's silly, at some point it's gonna bite you from behind. So I don't want to be that kind of guy/man, but I at the same time see how women light up and chase them. I guess I need to find my own way of being that arrogant guy.

 

[Sebastian0001]

I have literally written about it 100 times in the past.

Sorry dude, I’m not here just to hand out free information and continually repeat myself. I’m here to entertain myself. I answer the questions that I want to answer, when I feel like it.

I’m also not here to help guys who mock me, and aren’t very bright. It’s not in my interests at all to help guys like you.

You don’t actually want to improve as a man. You want an unearned shortcut to success. You’ll never have it.

i just see you picking fights with people and pretending to know everything. I don't believe you have any clue and I don't think you get any women. Some ppl just come on these things to seek attention and its clear that is what ur doing. Sorry dude.