Need advice: Female thinks shes gonna pull the strings

[B Clipz]

I'm hanging out with this female today.This will be the 2nd time. We text pretty regularly and had a conversation on the phone for about two hours,so we're pretty comfortable with eachother.The first time I chilled with her I tried to kiss her twice and she denied on the excuse I haven't earned it.how do I let her know that she should be trying to keep up with me and I don't gotta earn sh*t.or should I just Chillout and let things ride along her pace.should I stop Chilling with her so she realizes she has to pick up her game or what.she has been initiating meet ups so she likes me.Thnks.

UPDATE***************

Guys i just finished chilling with her...i cant help but feel i screwed up..but damn gotta keep improving..i chilled with her,we walked around and talked.she is always laughing,touching me,giving me all the signs she digs me.i get to the point when im about to drop her off and we start talking again.she keeps telling me to play with her hair,but im like no.does this b*tch think im some slave.she keepssssss asking me(had to be a test) like she eventually gonna break me and have me do it but i refused and eventually say ill play with your hair after you play with this.insinuating my johnson..she gets all bent out of shape saying im so disrespectful blah blah blah,because earlier i said something about her ass..eventually she asks,i want to know your intentions,and unsmoothly i said "the reason i started talking to you was because i wanted to have sex with you,*blah *blah *i still do".she then says its "never gonna happen" and STAYS IN THE CAR!still talking to me saying how much i frustrate her and crap.im just a little bent because i felt like i should've been more confident when i told her my intentions...This girl is always talking about how she hates the fact im leaving for school at the end of the summer and how she wishes i would stay so we could get in a relationship...i don't know what to do,i feel like im total AFC and if i had even the SLIGHTEST bit of game i would've smashed already considering how much she likes me.i get to the point where i make them like me and comfortable with me and then it all stops.Why am i this AFC? GODS of the PVSSY BANGERS HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!

 

[TheException]

Show her you could care less whether she kisses you or not. This should surprise her a bit, and hopefully it'll make her come around.

+1

That is the key. This doesnt mean you dont escalate...it means you dont fall into her frame when she drops a **** test like that. Pass it and keeping chuggin along, they never end.

 

[plate's_empty]

Agreed on above. If you really want to make an impression then cancel on her. It's a bold move and it takes some cojones but it should get the point across. Don't be a d!ck about it but say something came up, leave it kind of vague.

Also, this is a lot easier if you have another plate to go out with or something else to do.

 

[casaanova]

An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. If she saying stuff like "you have to earn it" after asking for just a kiss, that means you're in her beta/"give him morsels, he'll be alright" box; and it's very hard to get out of that box. If you use "alpha" methods to try and take a stand, she'll just see it as you "being a bad beta". The way you start is the way you end

 

[Lord Hypnos]

I'm hanging out with this female today.This will be the 2nd time. We text pretty regularly and had a conversation on the phone for about two hours,so we're pretty comfortable with eachother.The first time I chilled with her I tried to kiss her twice and she denied on the excuse I haven't earned it.how do I let her know that she should be trying to keep up with me and I don't gotta earn sh*t.or should I just Chillout and let things ride along her pace.should I stop Chilling with her so she realizes she has to pick up her game or what.she has been initiating meet ups so she likes me.Thnks.

well for starters, you could stop texting and talking on the phone with her for 2 hours! Jesus Christ man, have you ever heard the saying 'why buy the cow when you can milk it for free'? That's exactly what's going on; she's milking you for conversation and attention, and when it comes times for action, she balks. And rightfully so, given that you are even considering riding along her pace. Maybe after 3 or 4 dates, she'll let you peck her on the lips at the end of the night at this pace.

 

[B Clipz]

Thnks guys.your very helpful.I have alot of work to do on my game...

 

[B Clipz]

Guys i just finished chilling with her...i cant help but feel i screwed up..but damn gotta keep improving..i chilled with her,we walked around and talked.she is always laughing,touching me,giving me all the signs she digs me.i get to the point when im about to drop her off and we start talking again.she keeps telling me to play with her hair,but im like no.does this b*tch think im some slave.she keepssssss asking me(had to be a test) like she eventually gonna break me and have me do it but i refused and eventually say ill play with your hair after you play with this.insinuating my johnson..she gets all bent out of shape saying im so disrespectful blah blah blah,because earlier i said something about her ass..eventually she asks,i want to know your intentions,and unsmoothly i said "the reason i started talking to you was because i wanted to have sex with you,*blah *blah *i still do".she then says its "never gonna happen" and STAYS IN THE CAR!still talking to me saying how much i frustrate her and crap.im just a little bent because i felt like i should've been more confident when i told her my intentions...This girl is always talking about how she hates the fact im leaving for school at the end of the summer and how she wishes i would stay so we could get in a relationship...i don't know what to do,i feel like im total AFC and if i had even the SLIGHTEST bit of game i would've smashed already considering how much she likes me.i get to the point where i make them like me and comfortable with me and then it all stops.Why am i this AFC? GODS of the PVSSY BANGERS HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!

 

[floydb25]

An ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure. If she saying stuff like "you have to earn it" after asking for just a kiss, that means you're in her beta/"give him morsels, he'll be alright" box; and it's very hard to get out of that box. If you use "alpha" methods to try and take a stand, she'll just see it as you "being a bad beta". The way you start is the way you end

Agree with this. She will likely just keep testing you to death and trying to use your weaknesses against you - as she has already perceived them to be. It'll probably just end up being a battle for control... no different than when a girl KNOWS she can string someone along and keep a guy obsessed with them. The guy might move on, but she'll just start flirting and AW'ing to get him to chase her again. She knows he will keep falling for it. As well, when they put all these subtle boundaries in place. They know they can call all the shots, have you settle for scraps, wait around for them, etc.

Once people perceive you as being a certain way, they likely won't change those views, - nor do they want YOU to change, as it doesn't benefit them - and treat you accordingly, and try to keep the status quo (ie, you being a weak, desperate, pushover failure, or whatever)...

People pretty much suck, and will use your weaknesses against you, treat you as you allow them to, push your boundaries to see what they can get away with, and so forth. It has nothing to do with seeing how assertive or protective you are, either, because guys do the same thing with other guys. They do it because they CAN, and know they can get away with it (ie, bullying). A lot of these "tests" are actually battles for control, manipulation tactics, etc, and they're always used on nicer, gentler, more naive / gullible, and less assertive / dominant guys. Most of it is simple bullying.

Fortunately, people who act this way aren't worth a damn; have control issues, a plethora of insecurities, tend to compete over everything, always need the upper-hand, are fake, have low self-esteem, etc, etc. They also tend to be immature, bratty, flighty / fickle... Losers and *******s, really.

 

[Atom Smasher]

I think you're being too verbally direct with her. Girls like a little covert innuendo. She feels socially pressured to recoil at your overt statements.

I would say to back off as Brad suggests. To that I would add, don't feel you have to answer everything that comes out of her mouth. If she tells you to play with her hair, for example, don't acknowledge it and change the subject as if she never said it. I have found that for me the sweet spot is to ignore 10% of a woman's statements and questions.

Be formless, an unknown quantity.

 

[Lord Hypnos]

Guys i just finished chilling with her...i cant help but feel i screwed up..but damn gotta keep improving..i chilled with her,we walked around and talked.she is always laughing,touching me,giving me all the signs she digs me.i get to the point when im about to drop her off and we start talking again.she keeps telling me to play with her hair,but im like no.does this b*tch think im some slave.she keepssssss asking me(had to be a test) like she eventually gonna break me and have me do it but i refused and eventually say ill play with your hair after you play with this.insinuating my johnson..she gets all bent out of shape saying im so disrespectful blah blah blah,because earlier i said something about her ass..eventually she asks,i want to know your intentions,and unsmoothly i said "the reason i started talking to you was because i wanted to have sex with you,*blah *blah *i still do".she then says its "never gonna happen" and STAYS IN THE CAR!still talking to me saying how much i frustrate her and crap.im just a little bent because i felt like i should've been more confident when i told her my intentions...This girl is always talking about how she hates the fact im leaving for school at the end of the summer and how she wishes i would stay so we could get in a relationship...i don't know what to do,i feel like im total AFC and if i had even the SLIGHTEST bit of game i would've smashed already considering how much she likes me.i get to the point where i make them like me and comfortable with me and then it all stops.Why am i this AFC? GODS of the PVSSY BANGERS HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!

you're on the right track at least. 'make the ho say no' lol

if she wants you to play with her hair, that's a pretty big IOI there, perfect opportunity for you to escalate physically. she wants you to kiss her at the end of the night, and you misinterpret that as a **** test. you really blew it there, that's like a fumble at the goal line. on the other hand, you think that since you got rejected the first time you tried to kiss her, then she would reject you again this time. but maybe the first time you weren't getting any IOIs, or she felt awkward. girls change their mind all time, and only act according to how they feel at the moment. the bottom line is you need rock solid frame. but now you've revealed your entire hand, so consider this a lost cause, stop calling her, and put it on the backburner. if she calls you and wants to see how you are doing then she is a returning fox and you can proceed to bang her (or at least make out) next time you see her.

 

[Hydrak]

My friend was in the EXACT same situation as you, he met a girl and chatted on the phone for a few hours - then they had a few dates IRL. He got to lick her/make out with her, nothing more. She kept stalling his request to have sex, "lets to it in a few weeks when Im ready". Then I told him to call her and say that he would break up with her unless they had sex, because it felt like she was just using him (which she was). Whe he said that, she got really desperate and begged him to have sex with her how hard he wanted. I was there on Skype listening to the whole thing lol.

If I were you I'd do LJBF or tell her theres no point contacting her if shes gonna try to use you. That will put pressure on her and show that you have other options.

 

[plate's_empty]

Guys i just finished chilling with her...i cant help but feel i screwed up..but damn gotta keep improving..i chilled with her,we walked around and talked.she is always laughing,touching me,giving me all the signs she digs me.i get to the point when im about to drop her off and we start talking again.she keeps telling me to play with her hair,but im like no.does this b*tch think im some slave.she keepssssss asking me(had to be a test) like she eventually gonna break me and have me do it but i refused and eventually say ill play with your hair after you play with this.insinuating my johnson..she gets all bent out of shape saying im so disrespectful blah blah blah,because earlier i said something about her ass..eventually she asks,i want to know your intentions,and unsmoothly i said "the reason i started talking to you was because i wanted to have sex with you,*blah *blah *i still do".she then says its "never gonna happen" and STAYS IN THE CAR!still talking to me saying how much i frustrate her and crap.im just a little bent because i felt like i should've been more confident when i told her my intentions...This girl is always talking about how she hates the fact im leaving for school at the end of the summer and how she wishes i would stay so we could get in a relationship...i don't know what to do,i feel like im total AFC and if i had even the SLIGHTEST bit of game i would've smashed already considering how much she likes me.i get to the point where i make them like me and comfortable with me and then it all stops.Why am i this AFC? GODS of the PVSSY BANGERS HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL!

Sometimes this stuff is like trying to learn a new golf swing. The new swing feels uncomfortable and doesn't feel natural. Your other swing worked a lot of the time but you know once you get this down it will eventually feel natural and your game is going to be a lot better in the end.

There's a lot of information on this site. Trying to use it all at once is not only going to confuse her, it's going to confuse you. If it gets too overwhelming, sometimes you just need to relax, not care about the outcome, be yourself..... and let your natural instincts take back over. Get yourself grounded then try again another time.

 

[Cremasta]

"Hang on. You don't EVER want to have sex with me, but you want to be in a relationship with me? Exactly why would I do that?!?"

Don't beat yourself up too much. I thought you had some moments of good game there, but you let her knock you down and didn't follow through. As soon as she said "Never gonna happen." I'd have just said "ok then, I'll just drop you home now."

This is just like going shopping. The shop sets the price, but YOU decide if you want to pay that price.

 

[TillTheEndOfTime]

i said "the reason i started talking to you was because i
wanted to have sex with you,*blah *blah *i still do".

The above is possibly the lamest line I've heard someone drop on a girl.

Do you even grasp the concept of building sexual tension bro?

Do you even lift?

 

[VladPatton]

Cancel on her next time. Tell her you have another date. Refuse more than a 5 min phone convo. When she asks you why you have to hang up tell her "you must earn my time!" and hang up on her. She's gonna be furious with you, but it'll get her hamster spinning at 300mph.

When she comes barking at you, insist you should just be friends. Do a complete role reversal. Don't let her give you the old "you must earn it!" line. GTFOH! If she comes around, fine, you now have the frame. If not, this girl's just a bıtch that likes fückin with you and teasing you for fun.

You don't need that, I don't care how hot she is.