Need Advice: Asking best friend out

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by Shinrao
K sweetness, I'll just forget that idea.
I'm happy your all not just blind bats that say go for it without reason.

Thanks Dudez yea theyre's other hot girls, its just a concept that wont go away.

Two points I want to make.

One its obivious your not pulling any other girls, hence you thinking about trying to bust the moves on your best friend of a million years.

Secondly, if anything is going to ever happen between a girl and a guy it usually happens within a few weeks to month max. Yes there are exceptions to this rule, but I'd 95% of the time this is the case. So go use some DJ knowledge and # close 20 girls and see if you still want to hook up with your friend.



PIMP

 

[Shinrao]

Originally posted by Pimp-sicle

One its obivious your not pulling any other girls, hence you thinking about trying to bust the moves on your best friend of a million years.

Secondly, if anything is going to ever happen between a girl and a guy it usually happens within a few weeks to month max. Yes there are exceptions to this rule, but I'd 95% of the time this is the case. So go use some DJ knowledge and # close 20 girls and see if you still want to hook up with your friend.

Yes, it is obvious im not pullin any other girls but what's going to bug you even more is that i get picked up every 2 weeks or so. Go out and have fun , being social. So to answer your question, I dont think i'd number 20 girls the way you say i should, but theyres a good 10 from this month that seem to have a thing for me. I just don't seem to be bothering with em right now, because of this case.

But I'm being paranoid about alla this so I'm gonna call one of them today and treat her to the town. Thanks...

 

[Cremasta]

Originally posted by drixsa
dude there are soooo many girls out there

why take a chance with a friend of 10yrs thats just dumb, unless you are considering marrige

This is pretty much spot on. Don't take this as a flame in anyway, but you are only 18. If you were around 23/24 I would say tread carefully, but go for it. But right now, neither of you have really developed into the people you are going to be as adults (assuming she is the same age as you).

Just stay friends for now, see how you are going in a couple of years when you both have lives outside of school/college and have at least another couple of relationships under your belt. Start to do a bit of setup though, be a little bit sexual in your conversations with her. Just a bit further than you would normally go, to get her thinking about you in that way. Who knows, she might make a move on you.

 

[Shinrao]

I like the way you think. Your insighting not to go at it right away, but still try later on with experience [that i dont have]. Knowing how things are going, i'll surely scratch the whole idea of asking her and bother again in a few years when I've thought it through alot better.

 

[newbeginning]

im not a dj, but im speaking from experience. My friend and i know each other for almost 4 years and we never had any attraction for each other. Just lately i notice that we would make a very good couple. So i started flirting with her and she flirts back and bfore you know it we were kissing. Friends or not, i think the same dj rules apply. Sadly she's moving away so i can't get attached. But what i would do is do some flirting and see how she responds. It will take a long time if she doesnt have initial interest in you. If youre serious bout this, give it at least a few months to let her come to realization that you guys can be a good couple. Just dont push it too hard.

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by Cremasta
This is pretty much spot on. Don't take this as a flame in anyway, but you are only 18. If you were around 23/24 I would say tread carefully, but go for it. But right now, neither of you have really developed into the people you are going to be as adults (assuming she is the same age as you).

Just stay friends for now, see how you are going in a couple of years when you both have lives outside of school/college and have at least another couple of relationships under your belt. Start to do a bit of setup though, be a little bit sexual in your conversations with her. Just a bit further than you would normally go, to get her thinking about you in that way. Who knows, she might make a move on you.

the thing is he is 18. so that was more of what i was thinking

23/24? i told him if he would be considering marrige (thus the age group at which marrige starts to enter into many peoples minds if only and idea) that he should go for it.

no offense taken bro

 

[drixsa]

Originally posted by OddTech
Hey drixsa, considering that you've been here for over 6 months, I thought you would encourage him to risk the friendship.

Why? Well, here is this link (from the DJ Bible):

here.

From the thread, the philosophy is that Shinrao is going to be miserable as he looks from afar, always thinking "what if." Would he get mad if he see this girl with other guys? Would he feel lonely wondering why? Would he feel used like an emotional tampoon?

Yeah, I know that 10 year of friendship is risky. But Shinrao will have to decide if "a man and a woman can be just friends." If Shinrao believes that: "no, a man cannot be friends with a woman who he is attracted to," then he basically answered his question.

I'm trying to think in the "shoes" of Shinrao here. It's up to him to find out what's more important to him: the preservation of the friendship, OR the feeling of regret. As most fellow DJs know, we fear regret more than rejection. Good luck man, I understand that it's a hard decision.

Oh, and also, in the meantime you should be finding other women. Hehehe.

listen bible thumper(i think i am going to coin that term) just becuase some guy who posted a good and interesting article doesnt mean you live by it or any advice in the bible. hell i have probably close to every rule but it doenst matter.

5months? i used to be here a while back, what you think all this great abundance of knowledge came in such a short period of time?

all things aside from reading the poster's post it didnt seem that he really had deep feeling for the girl just considered it a good option before looking at the big picture.

i am a guy that values friendship above almost anything so when you say take a risk at a relationship that has been successful for 10 years, i do have to question your thought process, not hidden-danjer (may he rest in sosuave.com peace )

feelings of loss and regret? he is 18, hes gonna make a lot more mistakes in his life, not to worry.

if they are good enough friends then they will stay friends.

i still dont really buy being stuck in LJBF hell, so to speak.

i have never had problems getting out of that faze, but thats another topic for anthoer day.

in the end we are both trying to do the same thing but came out with different results and that is help a fellow sosuave'er

 

[DJ_Dork]

Dude - you are a fool if you mess up a friendship with a girl. especially one that's lasted a decade.

 

[Shinrao]

hehe thank you drixsa. I'll just stay friends, I'm happy enough as it is. When I think about it, it's more advantageous to be her friend and date someone in the meantime. Even when i dont have a girlfriend i'll have her to hang around with. and yea i know your not just supposed to hang around with your girlfriend.

Originally posted by DJ_Dork
Dude - you are a fool if you mess up a friendship with a girl. especially one that's lasted a decade.

Any experience in that situation?

 

[Ice Cold]

OK, let's get this guy LAID! And not only laid. His friend won't be able to sleep at night cause she'd love him so much

Originally posted by DJ_Dork
Dude - you are a fool if you mess up a friendship with a girl. especially one that's lasted a decade.

Depends. I know a married couple who knew each other from kindergarden and married each other when they were 24 (after college). They are a super marriage with 2 sweet kids for... 20 years now.

I wouldn't worry so much about LJBF zone. Sure, not kissing her when you were six was a huge mistake, but what are you gonna do about it?

Shinrao, the thing is that you probably don't have the skills to get a girl and to keep a girl. If you just start hitting on your friend, you'll be walking blindly and she'll drift away. So you either need a plan or to get out there, learn to seduce any girl and then come back and seduce your friend.

Seeing that you still want to get into your friends pants, I give you a plan. BUT you have to stick to it and go through with it. The plan will be your major tactic, and you'll have to obey all the rules of this plan. If you don't, it will fail miserably, and you'll waste both your time and mine.

the first rule of the plan is: "You do not talk about the plan with anyone, but this site"
No asking friends if you think she's intested, no telling your mom you wanna bone this chick... etc

The second rule of the plan is: "You do not ask questions"
If you have questions, then go RTFM, The art of seduction etc. There'd be too much typing for me to do without this rule.

The third rule is: "You make a thread, and report everything that happens with the girl in that thread.
This way we'll be able to give you the right advice.

Yes = proceed. No = bye bye loser. See you in hell.

Now, here are the basics:

You don't really know how she feels about you, but you have a major advantage - the friendship. You've been together for 10 years and you get to see her close and personal. Other guys don't have this, so your tactics won't be usual.

First, you'll CAREFULLY and SUBTLY find out her romantic feelings about you. Even if they're not there, it's no big deal. You will have to introduce the concept of relationships and sex gradually. You have to make her think about love, romance, couples and stuff.

Your goal is to make her think about relationships so much, she'll lose sleep over it. And since it would be coming from you, she'll associate all the feelings with you and will think she's in love. And she will be in love by the time we're done with her.

If you do everything I tell you, I guarantee you'll get this girl. Do you want her?

 

[drixsa]

nice advice ice cold

except one thing : see the link on the top right of the webpage? its the bible, read it

 

[Mr. Fingers]

Half of my girlfriends have started off platonically. My first love was my best friend for years before we hooked up.

Afterwards I have managed to turn quite a few LJBFs around

If you are interested, here is how...

http://www.sosuave.com/vBulletin/showthread.php?s=&threadid=43174

 

[Shinrao]

Originally posted by Ice Cold

Your goal is to make her think about relationships so much, she'll lose sleep over it. And since it would be coming from you, she'll associate all the feelings with you and will think she's in love. And she will be in love by the time we're done with her.

If you do everything I tell you, I guarantee you'll get this girl. Do you want her?

Hahahahaha, I like your style dude. Yea i have no skills with mackin girls. I got it all i just need to get over being god damn shy. I get any girl to smile on a daily basis, no problem takin the time with em, its only bringing up the dating/sleeping together topic that's the bug. That's the ONLY problem. With experience I'll try what you say. However Rule 1 is pretty much already obstructed, a good 2 or 3 friends know i have an issue with my best bud, but no more, everyone else just sees me and her as friends. Hope im still in the green to try your idea out.

 

[niggah]

**** her

 

[Shinrao]

.....wise words...

 

[bp1974]

Forget about getting with her now. Concentrate on other girls, have some fun.

And, at the same time, slowly bring a little more playfulness, teasing and flirtatiousness into your friendship with this girl. If you normally tell her everything, start hiding things a little. Get cheeky and ****y, a bit more private with your info, and bring a little tension into things.

See if she reciprocates over the next couple of months. If she does, you might just have a chance. If not, well, you've got those other girls.