Need advice and gameplans fellow don juans

[futureWSOPchamp]

Hello everybody,

Gonna give you a little background on my situation.
I go to a very popular university in my state that is known for being a party school. I live in an apartment on campus (University owned so no alc/weed). I really love it here and I want to enjoy the rest of it without regrets. I am 23 yr old junior in so I am a little bit more mature than my peers.

There isn't a specific girl in mind. There are many girls I have my eye on. Problem is Im on the heels of a LTR that hurt me really bad. Girlfriend hit me and I fell out of love with her. She still persists on seeing me and I oblige her sometimes. This has been going on for a year now. I have done many NC in the past but it is very hard because I see how hard she is trying to get me back and am a very forgiving person. This spills over into my new attempts at getting to know someone else.

There are a few girls, from classes facebook etc. that I have spent time with and I want you guys to lay down what I need to do about these situations.

Girl #1
Lets call this girl sweetthang, I met this girl in one of my really difficult courses. She is from a very wealthy family and is an out of state student. She was a soriority girl, but dropped out because she felt it would not help her progress in her major. Me and her met the first day. I seen her and thought she was very beautiful so I sat beside her and we talked alot. I got her phone number that day and she texted me asking questions about our homework that night. We live on the same route and walk home together everyday and we talk about everything. I had a crush on her but stll was wrapped up in my ex so I did not want to jump into anything. She calls me another night and asks me to come hang out with her cause she is drunk. When I get there she is way too drunk so I was not going to try to get in her pants. We had alot of fun that night and just listened to music and drank and smoked. It was then I realized I had a crush on her. We were spending alot of time together and before valentines day I surprised her with a homemade card. She loved it and thanked me for it later.
I asked her out on a date and she told me she was busy but could go out at a way later date for my liking. That night on social media I seen where she was partying elsewhere the same night when she said she was busy. I know you judge by actions so If she really wanted to be physical or even date she would have not done that.
I was fine with just being friends with benefits so one night after we got ****ed up together she took me home. I asked her to come inside and she said that she couldn't. That was the last time I tried to be anything besides friends. One night we were studying in the library, (she asked me to come, she always asks**) and I overheard her talking to her friend about sleeping with some guy. I was bummed but did not show my hand. She ends up mentioning something about him coming to the library so I got my stuff and left. I just wanted the respect that I feel I deserved. If you dont want to be with me that is fine, but I don't wanna be around someone you do. I deleted her from social media and went NC (snapchat, phone, text). She got a girl friend of hers to get a hold of me to tell me how sorry she was and also emailed me through university email. I caved and let her back around after a few days. We still hang out as friends and I dont mind it as long as she respects me.

Girl #2
This is another girl in a different class. She is a foreign exchange student so there is a small language barrier. I started spending time with her and texting back and forth. We ended up going out to the movies. We had a really good time until the way home. We were laughing and talking and I put my arm around her. (didnt even think about it it just happened) She told me that it made her feel uncomfortable, which is frustrating because she made a great date awkward. (its just an arm around a shoulder) I took it off and walked her back to her apartment. She texts me a day later and we go out again, this time just a walk around the city, and we have a good time. I did not want to try any kino because I figure that these foreign students are different and there is a different way of courting them. We go our seperate ways and I dont hear from her for a week when she texts me asking her to come to her countries cultural dinner. We had a really good time and when we got to her apartment I asked her if she wanted to come stay the night at mine. She was pissed that I even asked and said that if all I wanted to do was get in her pants that she wanted to be just friends. I never said that but i'm sure she would assume that is what would happen. I am not afraid of voicing my desires, but I was very pissed that this girl made me feel like an awkward dumbass again.

There are multiple other girls but those are two situations that I have encountered that I feel I need opinions on. I have had 0 luck with any other women besides my ex and its almost been a year at this university (only 1.5 more left) and I wanna enjoy it. Please give me advice fellow forum members. Because obviously my own skills are not working for me.

 

[zinc4]

Geez, that second story was rough. Happens to me all the time, though man. You are doing good there....trying to kino is great....some are just crazy uptight like that or angling for relationship.... She is Indian or Chinese from the sounds of it. I hate it when they pull that sliw down game thing. I just eject.

First story....don't ever talk to that girl again and don't do friendly stuff with girls in general like going to the library until u have banged them.

 

[futureWSOPchamp]

Thank you for advice zinc4. Yes the girl is from south america, which I thought was a very sexual continent lol.

Yeah. I dont understand because I never ask them to hang out. I also dont ever call them or text them first. It does not work for me, years it hasn't worked that way. The girls I have had success with are always the ones blowing my phone up. Girl #1 is in two of my classes but you think I should just avoid her? She will seek me out and ask me to tell her what is wrong. I dont feel like cussing someone out or telling them off because it is pointless and is not good game of any form .

I have a mental disability and go to school for a very tough major but my brain is very proficient at the material. The way I think and feel about myself has been engrained in me for a long time. My mother abused me growing up and was generally not there for me. So I know I have thought patterns that do more harm than good.

Guys I want to get my love/sex life together. I am 23 and not going to get any younger. I am horny as a MF and do not want waste my college years just studying/exercising all the time. I have plenty of guy friends but that is not enough for me. I am very open to change so If you guys have ideas I really appreciate the advice.

 

[SHChamp]

It seems to me that you are placing a bit too much importance on getting the girl through "conventional" means. The moment you feel that you might be interested in a girl, do not have any contact outside of setting up the date and the actual date. You need to have a life of your own which fulfills you and keeps you busy, girls pick up on this.

If you are readily available for them, they will have no desire to jump your bones because they can have you when they want. You noticed how Girl #1 responded when she found out that you were not quite as available anymore, and immediately tried to reach out. From the looks of it, you are quite insecure and that is the number one thing you need to focus on. Yourself. Pick up a new hobby, a passion and place your desires on having FUN and not on getting into a LTR. You want to bang a girl? Great. Then why are you meeting up for group dinners, library studies or whatever? You don't need to continously adapt yourself to the girl, YOU are the prize to be won, NOT her, so act like it and they will respond in kind.

Forget about girl #1, girl #2 and your ex. Start focusing on building up your own life, your own ambitions and goals and then you will become the man they all desire. Would you chase a girl if she readily makes herself available to you? Caters to your every need, and shows no desires but your own? No, you wouldn't. It seems like you are willing trying to fly into a cage, and that conveys a lack of value. Work on yourself first and the rest will naturally fall into place. None of these girls are better than you, you are better than them, so act accordingly. Do NOT try to be their friend. You are a man, with a healthy sex drive, and you want to fvck them, so act like it. If they don't want that, then move on.

 

[futureWSOPchamp]

It seems to me that you are placing a bit too much importance on getting the girl through "conventional" means. The moment you feel that you might be interested in a girl, do not have any contact outside of setting up the date and the actual date. You need to have a life of your own which fulfills you and keeps you busy, girls pick up on this.

If you are readily available for them, they will have no desire to jump your bones because they can have you when they want. You noticed how Girl #1 responded when she found out that you were not quite as available anymore, and immediately tried to reach out. From the looks of it, you are quite insecure and that is the number one thing you need to focus on. Yourself. Pick up a new hobby, a passion and place your desires on having FUN and not on getting into a LTR. You want to bang a girl? Great. Then why are you meeting up for group dinners, library studies or whatever? You don't need to continously adapt yourself to the girl, YOU are the prize to be won, NOT her, so act like it and they will respond in kind.

Forget about girl #1, girl #2 and your ex. Start focusing on building up your own life, your own ambitions and goals and then you will become the man they all desire. Would you chase a girl if she readily makes herself available to you? Caters to your every need, and shows no desires but your own? No, you wouldn't. It seems like you are willing trying to fly into a cage, and that conveys a lack of value. Work on yourself first and the rest will naturally fall into place. None of these girls are better than you, you are better than them, so act accordingly. Do NOT try to be their friend. You are a man, with a healthy sex drive, and you want to fvck them, so act like it. If they don't want that, then move on.

I really appreciate you being straight up with me champ. Girl #1 will be back from vacation and will be hitting me up. I will not oblige her if she asks me to hang out. I do have ambitions. I am going into a really good field and have a passion for playing texas hold'em for a living by the time I am financially stable. Yes champ I am very insecure. I know not having a good mother will tend to make someone more in need of female compassion. Thank you for telling me I am better than that. When these girls disappoint me I do not cry, I do not beg them, but I do feel something. I have the other aspects of my life figured out. I know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I know what dream that I will obtain. And I know a major purpose of mine is to rescue the only family member that raised me from birth and to find my brother that I have not seen in 10+ years.

Another reason this bothers me so bad is not only I have bad skills with women now, but I have lost a majority of my friends. I only have one family member that I am able to talk to so the loneliness definately gets the best of me sometimes. Thank you for the great advice

 

[RangerMIke]

You are wasting too much time on women with low interest and bad attitudes. You know to judge women by their actions... you should have known you're just a plate with Girl #1 when you tried to make a date and she didn't make a solid counter-offer. The fact you later discovered she was on another date is not relevant... she didn't lie to you she said she was busy and she was. She's just a girl you are seeing that is ALL. She's nothing special just another chick.

#2... is structured. You should have flushed her number after she got upset about your arm around her shoulder... That's no fun... dating is supposed to be fun.

 

[futureWSOPchamp]

You are wasting too much time on women with low interest and bad attitudes. You know to judge women by their actions... you should have stopped trying with Girl #1 when you tried to make a date and she didn't make a solid counter-offer. The fact you later discovered she was on another date is not relevant... she didn't lie to you she said she was busy and she was. She's just a girl you are seeing that is ALL.

#2... is structured. You should have flushed her number after she got upset about your arm around her shoulder... That's no fun... dating is supposed to be fun.

I know, what kind of a ***** would go out with you and get "uncomfortable" about an arm around shoulder lol. There are other girls I have hung with recently, but they flake out. Haha. I need to figure out how to frame correctly from the beginning. Disrespect is like the plague. What do I do about #1 though. She is in my classes and will sit beside me no matter if I move and will ask me why I am avoiding her. Do I need to tell her to **** herself? It seems like that would bring her more joy which is not my intention haha.

 

[GeniuzKhrist]

My friend there is nothing wrong IMO with having girls as friends. I agree with Ranger about the low interest part. By the art form of Pook and Anti you should only pursue women with high interest. What I believe will help you is to make dates with women in a fun, romantic enviorment and make yourintentions clear fromhere on out that you're not interested in being friends and if thats their only intrest then you walk away and never look back. My ground zero advie is to YouTube Corey Wayne, I'm a big fan, as are most people here andreally devolpe yourself in to a sexual, fun creature. Overall there isn't any harmin what you have done, other than clinging to your past relationship, which is understandble, we've all been there. All in all my bottom line is fire and forget, if she dosen't bite then move on with bettering yourself and pursuing other women.

 

[futureWSOPchamp]

My friend there is nothing wrong IMO with having girls as friends. I agree with Ranger about the low interest part. By the art form of Pook and Anti you should only pursue women with high interest. What I believe will help you is to make dates with women in a fun, romantic enviorment and make yourintentions clear fromhere on out that you're not interested in being friends and if thats their only intrest then you walk away and never look back. My ground zero advie is to YouTube Corey Wayne, I'm a big fan, as are most people here andreally devolpe yourself in to a sexual, fun creature. Overall there isn't any harmin what you have done, other than clinging to your past relationship, which is understandble, we've all been there. All in all my bottom line is fire and forget, if she dosen't bite then move on with bettering yourself and pursuing other women.

I like having #1 as a friend. She is obviously riding a **** carosuel but we share alot of the same interests (Same major, poker, partying). She has alot of hot friends and I would fook them all. I will keep my distance, because male friends are way better imo, but if she pushes herself back around I will let her orbit. Thank you for the advice.

 

[GeniuzKhrist]

Yeah Number 1 seems like a girl to keep as a friend because you'll probably get a free lay or two, and then can continue to be casual with her, just never get upset when it dosen't turn in to anything.

 

[RangerMIke]

There are other girls I have hung with recently, but they flake out. Haha.

Women flake... get used to it. It's not you it's them they all do this. But I agree that if you are not having success with anyone, then you might have a problem. My suggestion to you would be to pay attention to how they are responding to you when you first meet them, be honest with yourself and leave your ego at the door, and see if they are giving you REAL IOI. Hitting up women that are not giving you good indications of interest is a waste of time.

I need to figure out how to frame correctly from the beginning.

Don't worry about frame in the beginning. All you need to worry about is making dates. Mirror and amplify what she does. Keep dating other women.... if you have options you will have the proper frame.

Disrespect is like the plague.

Do not worry about disrespect.... really that is completely irrelevant, you should NEVER get to the point where you are being blatantly disrespected. You get any wiff and you need to vanish. Don't get butt hurt and upset, just don't spend time with anyone that doesn't want to be with you. Disrespect is a form of dislike, and an indicator of low interest.

What do I do about #1 though. She is in my classes and will sit beside me no matter if I move and will ask me why I am avoiding her. Do I need to tell her to **** herself? It seems like that would bring her more joy which is not my intention haha.

Don't avoid... just don't ask her out. If she calls you out on it, try to make a romantic date, if she won't go out with you just tell her you're not interested in just being 'friends'.

 

[GeniuzKhrist]

Don't worry about frame in the beginning. All you need to worry about is making dates. Mirror and amplify what she does. Keep dating other women.... if you have options you will have the proper frame.

This.

 

[futureWSOPchamp]

damn. Great advice by everyone

 

[SuckItUp]

1) You are young and in college so there's no reason to get serious because you need time to develop socially as well as develop maturity.

2) One of the best things you can learn about women is to filter and never to compromise your values to get a woman.

3) It's good to have women friends in college because they will inevitably enrich your social circle. Why try to ruin a relationship with a girl who can give you warm leads to a bevy of attractive women. No girl is worth 10.

4) It's good to be focused women can easily distract you from achievement. Better to achieve your career goals than to get distracted and be left with career in shambles. Women are easily replaceable a career isn't.

5) Have girl #1 hook you up with other women. You'll know right away if she's into you or not (my guess is no). A woman that is in to you will hesitate.

 

[Lozboss]

Tl;dnr

 

[futureWSOPchamp]

1) You are young and in college so there's no reason to get serious because you need time to develop socially as well as develop maturity.

2) One of the best things you can learn about women is to filter and never to compromise your values to get a woman.

3) It's good to have women friends in college because they will inevitably enrich your social circle. Why try to ruin a relationship with a girl who can give you warm leads to a bevy of attractive women. No girl is worth 10.

4) It's good to be focused women can easily distract you from achievement. Better to achieve your career goals than to get distracted and be left with career in shambles. Women are easily replaceable a career isn't.

5) Have girl #1 hook you up with other women. You'll know right away if she's into you or not (my guess is no). A woman that is in to you will hesitate.

#5 sounds like a possibility. She had a friend that wanted me but I didnt take advantage thinking I was gonna get her. That will be my first step.