Need a reality check and some help breaking up.

Telos

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I've been with my current girlfriend for about six months now. It seems like a lot longer than that, but I was spinning about three plates before we both decided to make it official, and after weighing my options very carefully I decided that this one was a quality girl worth my time.

I don't even know where to start listing all of our experiences. We spent most of our time traveling--dashing off on numerous road trips around the country and sleeping in hotels/truck-stops anywhere from Chicago to San Fransisco. We've wandered and photographed our way through hundreds of ghost towns along the old Rt. 66, stayed for a week in a cabin on top of a mountain in Arizona, drifted aimlessly through Vegas on Psychedelics, and slammed our way through the barren desert of New Mexico like Bonnie and Clyde. She's uniquely intelligent, has an insatiable thirst for adventure, loves sex, and she's fiercely loyal. All in all, we've driven over 10,000 miles with each-other through almost every state in the US. We've done things that most people don't get a chance to do in their lifetime. There is a very unique connection here that I've yet to come across in any girl, and I mean that with every fiber in my being. This one was a catch.

Right now, I'm emotionally devastated. In the last month or so my worst fears have started to come true in rapid sequence like some horrible movie. The slow decline of our relationship has just started, and I can feel it overwhelming my gut. All the warning signs are there; frequent fighting, less passionate sex (but still there), she's starting to make friends with a lot more guys, and worst of all the creeping indifference. I can tell her interest level is rapidly tapering off. She made a post the other day on a forum that she feels like her sex drive is dead. She's talking to a bunch of ex's. I never could have imagined that I would come to the point im at now.

I know I have to end this relationship, but to be completely honest I don't think I have anywhere near the strength to do it.

I can't get these intense memories out of my head; they feel seared and burned into my consciousness. It's like every cinematic moment that we've ever had is shuffling through my mind in high definition, on repeat, for as long as I'm awake. I feel vapid. I can't sleep or eat. I can't focus at work. My energy and natural confidence is gone. This is going to be the most tough loss of my life.

I don't know what kind of advice or comfort any of you can give me, but anything would help me right now. I feel lost and more alone than I've ever felt in my life.
 

guytime

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For me, it just takes time. And you'll be astonished at how quickly you'll find a new chick who is hotter, cooler, nicer, smarter, more stable, etc. Trust me, you'll forget about your ex so quickly, it won't even be funny.
 

Telos

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You're right that healing from a break-up takes time. I have gone through many in the past. I'm just really worried about how much this one is going to hurt when I hit the ground. The more potent the relationship, the harder you fall.
 

romangod

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Telos said:
This is going to be the most tough loss of my life.

I don't know what kind of advice or comfort any of you can give me, but anything would help me right now. I feel lost and more alone than I've ever felt in my life.

The end of this six month relationship is going to be the toughest loss of your life? You obviously don't have much to lose if that is the case.

The only advice I can give you is to accept it and move on as soon as possible. Whatever you do, don't grovel back to her or whine to her about your pain. She'll lose all respect for you.

Time will heal the wound but in the meantime it's a good time to look in the mirror and ask yourself how a 6 month fling can send you into a spin like this.

If you're honest with yourself you won't like the answer. Good luck.


Cheers!
 

guytime

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I know this is a little bit cliched, but it does depend upon the number of options you have. The "number" can be real or perceived, but it makes no difference. If you actually do have many chick orbiters, that will ease your transition. It sounds like you don't think you do. In that case, be proactive and create some options. You'll be surprised by how many options "open up" simply by fact of your mentioning your impending breakup.

Telos said:
You're right that healing from a break-up takes time. I have gone through many in the past. I'm just really worried about how much this one is going to hurt when I hit the ground. The more potent the relationship, the harder you fall.
 

Telos

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romangod said:
The end of this six month relationship is going to be the toughest loss of your life? You obviously don't have much to lose if that is the case.

The only advice I can give you is to accept it and move on as soon as possible. Whatever you do, don't grovel back to her or whine to her about your pain. She'll lose all respect for you.

Time will heal the wound but in the meantime it's a good time to look in the mirror and ask yourself how a 6 month fling can send you into a spin like this.

If you're honest with yourself you won't like the answer. Good luck.


Cheers!
Advice taken.
 

horaholic

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I have headed the pain off at the pass before by seeina therapist, and getting on meds (i really needed them anyway) a few weeks before I got rid of my ex. It REALLY helped. I know most people on here are against them, but they were a Godsend to me a couple times, when I was an emotional wreck, or knew I was about to become one.
 

Mr. Obvious

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you need to stop committing to women, and start playing around with them and having fun

its better for your heart and for your mind
 

sodbuster

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How in the he11 did you get any work done? Do you have a job that lets you travel or did you take money out of savings to fund this 6 months? If you are running out of money, she's running out of time. She used you for sex and travel,but now she's looking for the next guy to do it with,or maybe a provider type to settle down with.

I knew a guy who was engaged to be married-until he found out his GF's plans were to sell his dads farm[couple million there] and travel. after they ran out of money, they could get jobs. He didn't go for it.
 

Telos

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sodbuster said:
How in the he11 did you get any work done? Do you have a job that lets you travel or did you take money out of savings to fund this 6 months? If you are running out of money, she's running out of time. She used you for sex and travel,but now she's looking for the next guy to do it with,or maybe a provider type to settle down with.

I knew a guy who was engaged to be married-until he found out his GF's plans were to sell his dads farm[couple million there] and travel. after they ran out of money, they could get jobs. He didn't go for it.
I was fortunate enough to have a decent revenue stream coming in at the time and I was able to work remotely. She also contributed a lot herself. We weren't too luxurious with our travels, we camped out and slept in the back of my truck most of the time while making stops at hotels when we got sick of the road.

I have since landed a much higher-paying job (9-5), and haven't been able to see her nearly as much anymore. She's jobless at the moment as she left her position to relocate with me. Yes, we were actually planning on moving in together. She is still under the impression that we are, but as of tomorrow she will know that's not going to happen after I break up with her.
 

Lion

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Good luck man, at least it sounds like you have seen all the warning signs. If you hadn't maybe it would be a good idea talk about "us" wither her before you cut her off.
 

Telos

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Well, I'm planning on going ahead with the move and working things out against what some of you believe to be better judgment. I have to admit that when I wrote that first post, I definitely was at a pretty low point mentally. I've since snapped out of that rut almost completely. I confronted her with my concerns about the relationship and we both have decided that for better or worse that we want to work things out. I won't pretend to know that this is the right decision, but I believe it is, and if either of us end up burned, than so be it. I think at this point, it's worth it.
 
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