need a pep talk

[KarmaSutra]

who knwos whats going on with me tonight. been working out too hard, maybe my testosterone levels are out of wack or something.

Either flog the dolphin a couple of times, meditate or go get a piece of pvssy. One of those three should clear your head.

 

[STR8UP]

I know everyone has their problems, but if anyone (and I mean even most people I know in real life) knew the sh!t I am going through right now they would wonder how I make it through each day. Lets just say that my entire world as I know it has been turned around over the past year or two.

So trust me bro, I can relate.

I go through times where I am fine, then other times it hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel like the sky is going to collapse on top of me.

Yea, there are always women around, but I can't tell you how many times in the past several months I would have given my left nut to have a special girl to wrap my arms around at the end of the day, if for no other reason than to forget about the world and what it has dished out for me as of late.

You are I are both human. We are social animals. I don't care how much you LOGICALLY want to avoid getting involved with a woman (or at least MOST women), there are gonna be times where no amount of going to the gym, or having beers with your buddies, one night stands, or conquering the world is going to substitute for knowing that you have someone who cares deeply about you, and vice versa.

It's the curse of the DJ. You know the score when it comes to women, and sometimes it can work against your short term happiness.

I guess we gotta roll with the punches. At least you can take comfort in knowing that things always get better.

 

[grinder]

Its very difficult living amongst the mindless masses that think what they are told to think, buy what they are told to buy and live their lives as exactly prescribed and dictated by social “norms” (AKA the Matrix).

You know they are wrong but occasionally the saturation of this sh*t gets overwhelming and you allow it to seep in.

Its easy to let their measuring stick of expectations measure you. At any given age you are “supposed” to have done x y and z. If you let them they will keep you on a very tight schedule of expectations.

You are a free man who can choose whatever he wishes. This may sound overly simplistic but it true:

Don’t let them tell you what to do and when to do it. Remember, they are idiots.

 

[decades]

You have it in your mind that you aren't "okay" without an SO in your life. why? Work on your neediness. If you don't "need" a woman then you can be happy by yourself, and at ANY age. There is an underlying theme in your posts over the months that you are "too old" at 32. That's Insane, imo, and you should get to the root of it. You feel inadequate. I wonder if your parents have high expectations, regarding career, marriage, grandchildren, etc., for you that you feel have been unmet?

 

[joekerr31]

dont think it has anything to do with my parents. I have high standards for success though. i've accomplished a lot by most peopels standards, but im still not satisfied with it. go figure.

and im totally find without an SO. in fact, i usually get bored after a month or two of being with a woman and move on.

 

[paintballz]

I have high standards for success though.

ok i may sound like a troll but what your saying here is totally FALSE

you let a girl and her mom control you and you live in thier basement, dont mislead us in your posts bro

i told you before i was in your shoes but my situation was probably worst

EDIT- your right i was commenting on someone else's post i appologize, you closet AFC's sound alike in a way

 

[joekerr31]

read the posts. your commenting on someone elses situation.

also, does your baby sitter know you are using the computer?

 

[paintballz]

bro


im not 15 im almost double that...i been thru rough relationships and periods of being alone and depressed. at least im honest

 

[Mr.Positive]

Hey Joekerr, just a couple of things that I've realized about marriage, and life, to think about. I think you have contributed a huge amount of great posts on this board, and I'm sure a lot of others would agree, so keep up the good work!!

1) Improvement. We are men, we are very fortunate in the fact that we keep improving with age. I'm 34, and honestly a way better man than I was 5 years ago, or even just a couple of years ago. We keep evolving and changing for the better, I can't wait to see the man I'm going to be when I hit 40. I don't feel the pressure to get married, because I keep improving!

Women aren't so fortunate. They start going downhill, biological clock, sagging bodies (most of 'em), emotional baggage, etc. I know this is a huge generalization, and not to bash women, but it is much harder on them and only a few 'fighters' have the strength to overcome this and become better women. Knowing this, the pressure for marriage, the proverbial carrot, and women struggling to gain power over us suddenly disappears.

2) Marriage. I have a close buddy that I grew up with, I've known him for 25+ years. When we were both in our early 20's, we both were in LTR down the path to marriage. He married, I broke mine off (thank God, she was a nutcase).

At any rate, he's now happily married with a couple of kids. He told me at the time that he wanted to get married, have kids, and then get the kids out of the house and start "living life". However, the "livin' life" part, for him, will come when he is older (50+) most likely, when he is retired.

I realize I've been living the life now that he's looking forward to.

What I'm saying is, settling down and getting married is just that, settling down. I say if you haven't met the right woman yet, it's a blessing, because you are in the position to do everything in life that you want to...now. Do those things on your list..don't wait until retirement to start living.

Then, if/when you do settle down, you can relax a bit. You can relax knowing that you've done a sh!tload with your life. If you have kids, you then have tons of knowledge about life to pass on. You can then focus on family stuff.

My thought now, is not to get married until I'm 40. I'm 34, and I've had more adventures and exciting life stories than most people have ever had, yet there's still things I want to accomplish.

Enjoy your freedom Joekerr!!

 

[CF9]

Hey Joekerr, just a couple of things that I've realized about marriage, and life, to think about. I think you have contributed a huge amount of great posts on this board, and I'm sure a lot of others would agree, so keep up the good work!!

1) Improvement. We are men, we are very fortunate in the fact that we keep improving with age. I'm 34, and honestly a way better man than I was 5 years ago, or even just a couple of years ago. We keep evolving and changing for the better, I can't wait to see the man I'm going to be when I hit 40. I don't feel the pressure to get married, because I keep improving!

Women aren't so fortunate. They start going downhill, biological clock, sagging bodies (most of 'em), emotional baggage, etc. I know this is a huge generalization, and not to bash women, but it is much harder on them and only a few 'fighters' have the strength to overcome this and become better women. Knowing this, the pressure for marriage, the proverbial carrot, and women struggling to gain power over us suddenly disappears.

2) Marriage. I have a close buddy that I grew up with, I've known him for 25+ years. When we were both in our early 20's, we both were in LTR down the path to marriage. He married, I broke mine off (thank God, she was a nutcase).

At any rate, he's now happily married with a couple of kids. He told me at the time that he wanted to get married, have kids, and then get the kids out of the house and start "living life". However, the "livin' life" part, for him, will come when he is older (50+) most likely, when he is retired.

I realize I've been living the life now that he's looking forward to.

What I'm saying is, settling down and getting married is just that, settling down. I say if you haven't met the right woman yet, it's a blessing, because you are in the position to do everything in life that you want to...now. Do those things on your list..don't wait until retirement to start living.

Then, if/when you do settle down, you can relax a bit. You can relax knowing that you've done a sh!tload with your life. If you have kids, you then have tons of knowledge about life to pass on. You can then focus on family stuff.

My thought now, is not to get married until I'm 40. I'm 34, and I've had more adventures and exciting life stories than most people have ever had, yet there's still things I want to accomplish.

Enjoy your freedom Joekerr!!

Quoted for truth.... I am now 37 (can't believe that, I still feel 25 most of the time!!). I've gone through stretches when I feel like I want to succumb to social expectations & do the marriage/kids thing. In fact, there are times I actually feel GUILTY for not having done so yet. What I ususally appreciate, however, is that over the years I've been able to experience life & grow to know myself. I'm not certain that could've happened if I would've married while in my early-mid twenties. FWIW, I think it's somewhat natural to feel doubt once in a while about where you are in life. Without doubt, there is no need to grow/adapt....that is not how I want to live!!

 

[joekerr31]

positive, great insights.

i totally agree. and i don't regret my decisions.

i know i wouldn't be the man i am today had i settled for less than a woman who i truly felt was right for me long term.

im back on track.

 

[##17]

What, does the woman you settle down with have to be your own age?

You're not even in your prime yet. You have an advantage over guys in their 20's in that you have a good understanding of women whereas most of them hardly have a clue. (Seriously, I really like your posts and learn a lot from them.)

Think about it, many of these 25-year-old guys who think they are 'settling down' with a woman for life, come to find out in 5,6, 7 or 8 years that they really weren't, when they find themselves in a divorce. And many of those still married aren't in a happy marriage. So the grass isn't always greener...