NC never seems to work for me!

[Brosy]

So I work (mostly remotely) with this girl, she is generally quite off with everyone, probably because shes gets propositioned a lot. However due to me being new in the role I didnt have much choice other than to ask frequent questions.

One day, bam, she's all over my facebook messaging me, "hey im in the hotel we were in at the conference, if you were here we'd be getting room service " etc etc, then i thought, sweet and return the flirting. I noticed she kept making comments like, "oh you were so persistent with harrasing me (literally only in a work capacity by the way, with some general banter)" like she is doing me some kind of favour?? so i pretty much advised that she got over herself.

Anyway, i started to space out my replies to her, sometimes just skipping replying all together... So she initiated yet another conversation with me today and was VERY prickly.

Contrary to the desired results of this theory, I just seem to make them angry!!!!? Maybe cos i kicked her pedastal away?

I still have to work with her though, long story short, dont sh!t on your own doorstep

 

[JPlaya]

Topic says NC but you're doing contact in your post

 

[Brosy]

Haha no you are right, but the minute I try they get INSTANTLY ****ty with me, if I kept this up for a whole week surely this is just damaging to the existing connection you have with this person.

Personally, if a girl pulled this sh!t with me, she would get binned off with no option to repair, no matter how hot she is or how good the relationship was up to that point.

 

[HalfAddict]

I had to log in for this one... Yes she may throw a fit, and you caved into it and contacted her, therefore she knows if she throws a fit she gets her way. You go NC and it's better if she is pissed about it because.... It makes her think, about what you ask? YOU, she is FEELING EMOTIONS TOWARDS YOU.

It's not you, it is a woman, women play games, NC essentially is a game, or a way to get over oneitis. Who cares if she is mad about it.

 

[Johnnyventana]

I feel like we are missing something here...

 

[Zerro]

If you're going to limit or cut-off contact entirely you need to stick to your damn guns.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Brosy, some thoughts:

What does "quite off with everyone" mean exactly?

You didn't give us enough info to make a proper evaluation. When you say she was "prickly", how did the conversation actually go?

"No Contact" is a principal that is used during and after a relationship breakup. It's designed to turn the tables on her while at the same time getting on with your life. What you seem to be shooting for is the principal of "making yourself scarce".

I would say you're a bit miscalibrated, perhaps overly disengaging? But we can't be much help to you unless you give us more specific information

 

[Brosy]

Ah ok, "a bit off" is basically that she is guarded and shows no signs of personality or fun, strictly corporate matter of fact conversations etc.

This is what interested me about her really (as well as her looks!), every man likes a challenge!

Sorry i didn't realise NC was for break-ups, yes i was looking to be elusive as if there were other plates spinning. However after any kind of temporary disappearances, she would be a bit like "erm, you are the one that chased me and got my guard down, how dare you not repsond to me!" ... To paraphrase.

Thanks for the reponses guys, but i have given myself a reality check and really shouldnt be playing these games in this situation anyway, as i said we have to work together so i dont have enough room to maneuvre.

 

[acerazor1]

I've had this exact response from some chick I work with. I have a gf she has a bf, things got abit deep for my liking so i say its too harsh on others and stop contact with her as much as i can (no more texting etc...). Randomly saw her a week later & shes livid with me for not talking to her. Proper p1ssed off with me :trouble: . Stupid women!