NC gives you power

[joker79]

guys, been reading a lot of messages regarding NC and lame excuses to break it. I'll tell you my story.

My former ONEitis works with me, I bump into her frequently therefore logistics are not helping me. Anyway, 1 year ago we had a really good start, enjoyed time together, I bedded her quite easily, all good. Then the relationship went south, she was hot and then cold, she didn't respond to calls and txts there was even a colleague of mine flirting with her and she didn't reject him, etc etc. You know, all the things that make you wonder "WTF? how come can she do that to me?" . At that time I didn't know that her ex was behind the scenes. It was tough and I became clingy and I remember perfectly a discussion we had in which I said that I was displeased that things weren't going towards me and her being gf and bf. I would beat myself to death right now for this. What a loser.

Moreover, it wasn't the first time this happened, I dated two girls before that one, one of which I though she was my ONE crackup: ) and the same happened. They were flaky, inconsistent, not willing to commit and more importantly they had baggage but didn't tell me. I screwed up massively, I did all the wrong things.

After such experiences, I decided to hold off and focus just on myself. The three girls got in touch with me to test the water or to keep me in the friendzone later. Nope, nada, niet, no thanks. I went no contact. Tough exercise I'd say, some days were incredibly hard and having her in my office, in front of me everyday, well it didn't help at all.

I started avoiding places, deleted all social media stuff, fb, mob number, whatsapp, stuff we've done together. My mind was always focussed on her though. I took NC as a rough will power exercise, I didn't want to go back just forget and move on. It wanted to survive. You know, ONEitis is a mental disorder, and you can win or lose. I wanted to win.

I recently bumped into her, I felt powerful. 10 months have passed, I worked out intensely and results are visible, I dress to kill and I enlarged my network. I feel she's avoiding me, she feels I have changed, she is, in some way, scared to see what I've become. Her hypergamy is violently challenged by the doubt she did the wrong thing dumping me. I must admit that I was a different person: I started alpha as fvck and then became a weak beta, unable to cut everything off. But I learnt my lesson and I'm going to be grateful forever to the guys here that advised me on keeping the NC. It's a survival strategy, but the results are awesome.

 

[BraddH]

Are you so poor that you need power over women?

If you were really more powerful, you would not be even aware of it. The fact that your mind is on thin ice shows you how muh power women has over you.

 

[joker79]

BraddH, sorry to disappoint you, but you're wrong. It's just an observation of my own reaction based on previous NC. If I haven't gone NC, probably the situation would have been really different. It's not power over women, it's the feeling of having done the right thing. Hope it's clear now.

 

[thatfeel]

Yeah man, you're such a loser for being played by an insidious woman who led you to believe that you had a genuine and committed relationship. "Oneitis" is not a mental disorder.

Look, SoSuave is great and all but some of it can be a little too pervasive in your mind in all the wrong ways if you let it.

 

[joker79]

agree, but 95% of times, the advice is completely right, so I wouldn't ne concerned about it. In its extreme cases, I argue that ONEitis is a mental disorder, and one of the worst.

 

[the_great_gaia]

I remember when I used to have oneitis real bad for certain chics I used to be interested in. I was a poor sap tbh. I crashed, burned, survived, healed.. over and over again.

One day, I felt I had enough of the BS. I want women to feel this way about me from now on. I found this forum, and it changed me. I should have been careful what I asked for. This site really gave me insight on how to become the person I really wanted to be. But I also lost something. I stopped trusting all woman. I assume they are all the same. I assume the worst about women. I came here when I was a 19 year old virgin. Now, I'm almost 30, slept with NUMEROUS amount of women and I don't have children. I fear "love" or whatever these chics all their affections in the winter time... I don't really believe in "relationships" anymore; I become a womanizer. This forum opened my eyes; the eyes I WANTED. They're not necessarily the best eyes to have, but it works for me. This forum made me want to learn how to play chess, so I can apply the rules of chess to my interactions with women. I can't tell you how many times I was "right" about my gut feeling when I first meet a certain woman, I became proud of myself.

I've become less tolerant, more ruthless, more confident, and certain things about women that were special to me just isn't that important anymore.

Mostly, I studied 'no contact' and it has turned girls I had oneitis for into stalkers. I've had drinks thrown in my face, slapped, car windows bust out, etc.

I know I'll eventually meet my match and have oneitis again... but I'll have self-control, I'll be nonchalant, I'll remember to stay busy, and don't seem so available. I won't answer every phone call, or I won't text back so quickly after they text me. Oneitis sucks. My lessons, and yet I still learn so much after eleven years.

 

[PlayHer Man]

The woman should always care more about the relationship than the man. If you find yourself caring more than her... dump her immediately. It will only get more unhealthy for you as your woman will see this as beta fag weakness. This is why many quality men (even the rich and famous) get dumped and raped in divorce court by no-body women who are just "hot". :crackup:

Once the man cares more than the woman.. he is a faggot. This makes her hypergamy kick in and she believes she can do better. Then she starts acting up.

NC is never a mind game to get power. The purpose of NC is to rid yourself of a toxic relationship or a relationship that is adding more negative than positive things to your life.

To have power over women you must spin plates. To have power over yourself (not get whipped, oneitis, or become beta) you must be at peace with your values, morals and who you are. You must also be wise. This guarantees you won't change yourself to suit a woman. Why? --> Because you accept yourself and anyone who doesn't can f*ck off.