NC blows her open , need to capitalise on it....... ideas please ?

[Bingo-Player]

a short background

HB 8 is very stubborn i suspect she thinks she can do better , i know full well she cant

She trys to power play me boxing night with attention seeking mixed signals and flirting with other guys in the club downright disrespect so i walk into the sunset

It was painful because she’s so fvcking sexy and i enjoy her company but deep down i knew it was the right thing

3 days of NC and she breaks and messages an hour ago ,

“why are you so quite”

it’s not much but enough for me to confirm how she feels

i want to capitalise on this now and get her hamster spinning 100mph

ideas on a reply gentlemen ?

 

[beyondunplugged]

No reply. The old me would probably have called her out on the behavior to set the boundary but its too early. The new me? Get her to crack EVEN MORE. Get her begging on her knees for that bullsh1t behavior. HB8? Forget that nonsense, for a 10 I might think differently but an 8? Drive her into the ground. Ignore. NC is NC not a 3-day freeze out like you were waiting for the first text she sends. NC and go out and replace her with a 9 or a 10. That's the ideal plan if you can pull it off. Why are you so quiet? She's fishing for you to crack. Smells like a test to me. I say you move on with your life and don't respond so she REALLY starts obsessing over you. That's the ideal frame and you'll be glad you did it if you do progress with her but why was she playing those games? That's a red flag in my book and you are willing to tolerate it because "she is sexy." Bad way to start if you ask me but that's just my 2 cents.

P.S. One girl I went no contact on and actually changed my number and went completely CIA on her ass actually DROVE OVER TO MY HOUSE! That is the type of NC crack I'm looking for.

 

[dasein]

Not enough detail. Is this someone you are dating exclusively? If so for how long? What type of disrespect? smiling and friendly talk with other guys OR sitting in their laps, giving out her phone number, extensive kino? Was she out on an actual date with you, did she go there with you? or just there?

If this is just a plate, you need to walk to clear your head and work on your attitudes, you are hiding insecurity underneath a passive aggressive veil of demanding respect or maintaining frame. Go NC and mean it, not to spin the hamster. Work on yourself until you don't respond like that with women who are plates. In fact, with plates, you shouldn't even care what they do and with whom so long as they don't bring those aspects into your life, and as long as the time you spend together brings you what you want out of it. Expecting more than basic human respect, loyalty, from a plate is not realistic.

If this is a GF, it was REAL flirting, and you have agreed to date exclusively, you need to ratchet her back to plate, have a short, light matter of fact talk about it and that it's for the best, you can both still have fun while being nonexclusive. This should be your desired state anyway, maintains a plate instead of burning a bridge.

People have some mistaken views on NC. It is NOT some weapon you use to "bring them into line." It is a refocusing and healing mechanism when things are DONE, as in DONE FOR GOOD and for good reasons. Frankly your OP reads as if you are trying to punish some plate into compliance passive aggressively for hurting your feelings. This is not how NC is supposed to work, and not a habit you want to build into your approach to women. It is counterproductive and a weakness they have all seen over and over that KILLS attraction and sexual response. I made the same mistake many times in the distant past, and wish someone had been around to tell me to do otherwise. Good luck.

 

[RangerMIke]

When you get disrespected, the right this to do is keep walking until she reaches out to you again. But I suspect your interest is too high and you are going to crack... hope you don't but if you have to text something back to her send her this:

"Grab a bottle of wine and come over to my place and we can talk about it"

One of three things is going to happen. She will either (A) completely ignore that and not contact you again, or say no without the offer of an alternative, which is fine. Move on. (B) recommend an alternative (C) or ask you when.

(A) ... if this is the answer fvcking move on.
(B) ... don't respond right away then text her that you've been busy and tired and all you want to do is hang out at your place, tell her you'll fix dinner and she should bring some wine. DO NOT let her change your plans. SHE MUST come to you. If you cave she won't have any respect for you and you are done.
(C) Clean your place, and get ready to entertain, should be fun if you play your cards right. One caviot... this happened to me once, she shows up without wine... Now this is tough... but you MUST do this. Send her back out to get it. Do some research, find out whatever wine goes with whatever you are fixing and TELL her to get this, and know where the nearest store is to get this. Don't be an @ss about it, joke around and tell her the meal will be ruined without the right wine... and joke around that you simply can not talk without it. Remember be playful about it, don't be a j@ckass.

 

[beyondunplugged]

People have some mistaken views on NC. It is NOT some weapon you use to "bring them into line." It is a refocusing and healing mechanism when things are DONE, as in DONE FOR GOOD and for good reasons. Frankly your OP reads as if you are trying to punish some plate into compliance passively aggressively for hurting your feelings. This is not how NC is supposed to work, and not a habit you want to build into your approach to women. It is counterproductive and a weakness they have all seen over and over that KILLS attraction and sexual response. I made the same mistake many times in the distant past, and wish someone had been around to tell me to do otherwise. Good luck.

I agree. I used to do this too. Don't go NC unless you are going NO CONTACT. It's not like I'll go no contact and when she comes back I'll use it as a way to get all pissy and tell her what I didn't like because that just makes me look like a pouty *****. When I go no contact now it means I am never talking to that person again. Period.

I just think you have to decide like is that behavior really egregious? I mean maybe she is just really flirty and if you don't like it then just find someone else. I know how you feel and I've done what you are doing before too and it NEVER works man. It only is a dark black hole that you won't get out of.

Decide if what she did is unacceptable and if it is just move on but you don't even need to do anything other than go date other girls because you just met this chick. If what she did isn't a big deal, let it go. You could also do the matter of fact approach outlined above but I really agree with D. No contact is not justified here because you really are just VERY early with this person.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Hit my post limit yesterday

HB 8 was main plate with the scope for GF status before she started playing her little game

She was just talking to other guys in the club but flirty body language

Anyway She messages me the next day

Her: Hey what you doing today ?

Me: not sure yet you ?

Her: cuddling with (random guy) – whether she actually was or whether she just wanted a reaction i don’t know

Me: Ghost

3 days later..........

Her 14:52pm - : why are you so quiet

Me: Ghost

HER 20:30 pm- F*CK YOU

ME : Ghost

HER 22:30pm – why are you ignoring me

ME: im not ive been busy

Her: OK 


I then post a quote on instagram explaining how I’m nobody’s second best or “back up pan” , and within the hour she has copied and posted exactly the same quote

Also several indirect tweets about me

She is playing one of the best games I’ve ever seen a chick play, but I’m still not buying she’s 100% into me

What i do from here i really don’t know ......how hard do i need to push her before reeling her back in ?

 

[KingBeef]

For the most part, you were doing very well but then this happened....

I then post a quote on instagram explaining how I’m nobody’s second best or “back up pan” , and within the hour she has copied and posted exactly the same quote

Why would you step out of your frame and play instagram quote games with her? You are in control, NC her until SHE throws herself back at you....

 

[stevo]

This is a lost cause bro, eject that beech.

She's poking at you for a response.

She wants you to show jealousy and insecurity.

If you continue to not fall for it, she'll go wild even more but again it's all to see how much effort it would take to make you break the DJ persona you have.

Not worth it. Her being pretty isnt helping your mindset but you gotta do what's best for you bro, there are other pretty girls who would not be dumb/bold enough to test you like this one did.

 

[Heisenberg]

Her: cuddling with (random guy)

Umm, why are you even still interested in her after this?

Sometimes I wonder if a lot of guys' troubles on here are less about problems with their game and more about them becoming infatuated with low quality women.

 

[om1xr]

Neediness and insecurity will attract neediness and insecurity! this is an example of being needy but pretend to be aloof/non-needy case. You basically fall in her frame and give her the validation she craves by playing these unnecessary mind games.

Remember guys: Make your intentions clear, Make your boundaries clear, Walk away when your boundaries are crossed. Acting without expecting a specific reaction.

 

[Vulpine]

ƒucking it all up with texty games.

Instead of busting her balls for not being able to spell "quiet" versus "quite", you're giving her the attention she craves.

Keep up with that smooth-ass text game you got, and she'll keep texting you


...while she's cuddled up with someone else.

Whatever you do, don't make her angry. Kiss her ass a bunch and apologize profusely. Text her some "Sorry, lol.", or perhaps some "" or "" - that will drive her insane with desire. So much so, she'll text you telling you about how wet she is

...while she's cuddled up with someone else.

 

[Bingo-Player]

all points taken aboard - hard to see straight when heavily involved as everyone knows

shes done now

at the very least this thread should serve as a severe warning too newbies as to how cold and manipulative women can be

 

[seasonedplayer]

Good idea. Chasing women is a resource allocation exercise This approach will dictate to you whether to waste more time on this potential aw

When you get disrespected, the right this to do is keep walking until she reaches out to you again. But I suspect your interest is too high and you are going to crack... hope you don't but if you have to text something back to her send her this:

"Grab a bottle of wine and come over to my place and we can talk about it"

One of three things is going to happen. She will either (A) completely ignore that and not contact you again, or say no without the offer of an alternative, which is fine. Move on. (B) recommend an alternative (C) or ask you when.

(A) ... if this is the answer fvcking move on.
(B) ... don't respond right away then text her that you've been busy and tired and all you want to do is hang out at your place, tell her you'll fix dinner and she should bring some wine. DO NOT let her change your plans. SHE MUST come to you. If you cave she won't have any respect for you and you are done.
(C) Clean your place, and get ready to entertain, should be fun if you play your cards right. One caviot... this happened to me once, she shows up without wine... Now this is tough... but you MUST do this. Send her back out to get it. Do some research, find out whatever wine goes with whatever you are fixing and TELL her to get this, and know where the nearest store is to get this. Don't be an @ss about it, joke around and tell her the meal will be ruined without the right wine... and joke around that you simply can not talk without it. Remember be playful about it, don't be a j@ckass.