"Natural" friend, actually an AFC?

[SuperDawg]

Hey guys, I don't post here very often, but i do visit and try to learn new things.

I have a friend that I've known for years that's I've always considered a natural with women. He has always had girls interested in him/chasing him/doing him; I have never seen him have to sarge a girl, or ask for her number, the girls come to him. I could never put my finger on why, other than he is outgoing when approached. I've been out plenty of times with him where he has been approached, and I've been ignored. I'm not ugly, he's not George Clooney; the way I see it there is really no logical explanation for why that happens, but it does. He's a natural, I have to work hard at it, that's life. I've been picking this guys brain for years about girls; trying to get better ideas on where to take them locally, what to talk about, what to avoid, ect, ect. Things never seemed to go as smoothly for me as they did for him.

I'm semi-"dating" someone right now (no where near any type of exclusive relationship) and I've been picking his brain again, but the stuff he has been giving me really seems like AFC BS, stuff that I am working on never doing again, such as always taking her to nice restaurants, having "appropriate" long conversations, and calling her very often and immediately after a date/next day at the latest. His exact words to me were, "girls just want to be wined and dined". It seems like he's telling me to be a chump, at the very least try to impress this girl with where I can take her, how much attention I can devote to her, and what I can give her. That has never worked for me, and honestly, it's not in my personality to do that kind of stuff.

So what's the deal? Am I missing the point of what he is trying to tell me, or is it possible that my buddy is just one lucky fool and really not a natural? He's gotten girls in no time at all, and kept some girls around for LTRs using this stuff. I find it hard to believe that anyone can be that lucky, but it's also hard to believe that a guy can have the type of philosophy he has and still have girls chasing him and be getting laid like a bandit.

 

[trv26]

if he's getting the gals, then he's not an Average Frustrated Chump is he?

Mayb he's doing some thing wrong(in ur eyes at least), but obviously a lot of what he's doing is right.

 

[Alphamale1821]

he's a natural and the thing about naturals is they don't live by a set of rules like wannabe PUA. A natural does what comes natural to him and it works for HIM because thats who he is. An afc is simply a chump who can't get girls. Just because he takes chicks out to wine and dine doesn't make him a chump. He's just being his "natural" self.

Those who aren't born or realize they are naturals need to find themselves or like most do get in the PUA community and learn canned material. For a chump who doesn't quite know himself the words of a natural such as your case go over their head and you over analyze b/c for chumps they just don't "get it"

My advice develop your own inner game and realize who you are. Everyone has the potential to be a natural and while some may have better genetics on their side, the ability to be a man is something every man has in him. Unfortunately with society more men are becoming chumps and more women are taking the role of leaders.

 

[SuperDawg]

if he's getting the gals, then he's not an Average Frustrated Chump is he?

You're right, this guy is obviously not an AFC, and I would never call a good friend of mine a chump anyway. I guess my point was that the advice he gave me was something I would expect from an AFC, (I am not saying that I am not one myself, some of the time) and I can get that kind of advice from any number of people on the street.

This was a bad choice of title on my part, but semantics aside, the question is more important than the title of this thread.

Thanks so far, any other takes on this?

 

[Sincere]

I mean he's being his natural self obviously, which is the point of Don Juanism anyways...I think you should just stay in your lane and stop pickin his brain because essentially what you're doing is trying to become HIM instead of becoming an improved YOU

 

[ezily]

well I think his point about treating girls the way is says go for when you are in an LTR. Don't be a push over. Do what you want and continue to be C&F and all that stuff. But you can't think that treating a girl like she's not something special when you want an LTR with her is going to work. I mean if she's your gf she has to be something special and I think she at least needs to realize it. That's his point IMO. But I would just ask him to clarify what he means.

also, I've read stuff about girls expecting hear soon after the first date. Personally, I think the next day is a little soon. Maybe after a couple days to make her sweat some. But if you wait too long she'll probably think you have another girl or that you didn't really like her that much. Now this obviously only works if the girl likes you. But in an LTR situation calling after every date is too much. You'll suffocate her.

 

[SuperDawg]

I mean he's being his natural self obviously, which is the point of Don Juanism anyways...I think you should just stay in your lane and stop pickin his brain because essentially what you're doing is trying to become HIM instead of becoming an improved YOU

That makes a lot of sense, it's him and it works for him.

As far a picking his brain, I do that for places to go, things to do, and his suggestions there are very good to at least get me into a frame where I can make decisions on what I what want do or take her or whatever. His advice about girls usually comes without my prompting, he usually asks me how things went, if and when I called her, ect. When I tell him what I did, that's when I get the "wine and dine" type responses. He's just trying to help me out, but obviously I'm not on the same wavelength. Just thought I'd bring the question here since what I've found here and what he's told me seem to be way off.

 

[gigi1]

fact is that those that are really good with women behave exactly like AFC's, just without the neediness.

all those who apply 'tactics and philosophies' usually hardly get women in reality, they just keep struggling with the 'methods' or the 'philosophies of inner game'. or, at the very least, they get a lot less girls than those 'non-needy-AFCs' that i just mentioned.

this may be a disillusionment for some, but then again, you should consider it a relief - getting women is much more simple than you imagined. just get rid of the neediness. that's it.

and - don't worship other men. it's pathetic. this problem is unique to the 'seduction community', not to the general population. in many ways those AFC's are more alpha than the wannabe-PUA's who walk around worshiping and trying to imitate people that sell them ebooks.